"My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It's happened before, it will happen again, I'm sure. When someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive and I will find love again."
-Anonymous

Flashback

I slept cozily in a pile of the loners that were Snowball's cats: the cats I joined and lived with for two moons now. I didn't know what to expect when I left the forest all those moons ago. The fact that I found these friendly cats that didn't even need to know your name to be nice to you was so much more than I expected.

Snowball was a fluffy white she-cat, one of the most kindest cats I met and was a lover of peace. Out of all the cats I interacted with here, I interacted with her the most. And I held onto a small hope that we could become mates someday. Only a small hope mind you. I didn't want another Redblossom situation on my paws. I cringed at the thought of those bitter memories and pushed them aside.

I let my eyes slight open to see Snowball sleeping beside me and I took in the peaceful cat's image and purred. At that moment, I was allowing myself to be happy.

What a terrible mistake that was.

The peaceful image of Snowball sleeping was violently ripped away from me when a group of rogues ran in here trapping us; one of them immediately leaping onto Snowball. I jumped and knocked the rogue off of Snowball with full force and growled. I wasn't going to lose my home, I couldn't lose my home.

But my desire to stay happy wasn't enough at the time.

Before my unsheathed claw could land on the rogue, the rogue turned around and sent a strong back kick with both legs that sent me flying till I hit the other side of the den. I felt fear as I tried to get up but my paws barely moved.

"SNOWBALL!"

With that scream I heard left every last bit of hope that I had inside me. I didn't have to turn around to face the attack to know that our kind leader was dead. And with my luck, every member of our group would be dead too.

My heart was beating at a wild pace as the screams of my new friends stopped several times till there were no more screams. All that was left was the cold dead silence for several long moments

Because I couldn't catch a break, a rogue grabbed my scruff and dragged me to the clearing outside of the den. I growled and the rogue that grabbed me leaped back.

"Crap! Cora, she's still alive!" The rogue hissed. I saw in the corner of my eye the cat that would eventually become my worst nightmare: a tall bright orange she-cat with a white spot on her forehead.

She looked at me and I silently hoped that she would let me go or at the very least end my suffering. Instead I saw a glint in her eyes and I feared what was going tohappen next.

"You're pretty." She finally said in an intimidating voice. "Take her back to the den and don't kill her just yet."

My heart dropped as two rogues dragged me away back to the den where I would wait until the leader of these vicious rogues would make a decision.

Several sunrises later I was still recovering from the horrific attack, with the rogues giving me barely enough food and treatment to survive. But they made sure that I stayed weak from the attack so I wouldn't recover enough to gain the strength to try and escape.

I was facing the entrance of the den when the leader of the rogues that killedall of Snowball's cats except me entered the den. All of her rogues waited outside the den.

"I've made a final decision. This cat that I believe is named Blaze will become my newest prized mate." Cora announced.

"I'd rather you kill me." I spat.

All of Cora's rogues tensed and snarled, ready to leap at me and make my wish come true. But such sweet wishes would never come true for me as I saw Cora signal them to stay back.

"Now, now. She doesn't know what she's saying." Cora told the rogues before she looked back at me. "You have no idea what an honor it is to be my mate. I'm the leader of over thirty rogues and we've killed more groups than we could count now. We're feared in every inch of this forest and soon we'll be leaving to attack Twolegplace next."

"Killing innocent cats for no reason is your biggest accomplishment? Yep, you got me hun. I'm all yours." I hissed sarcastically.

Cora looked like she was about to explode and before I could let another comment slip out of my mouth, Cora covered the distance between us and I saw her claw reach me and I shrieked. It wasn't until I felt blood roll onto my muzzle that I realized the significance of what she did.

"If I hear another sarcastic comment you'll be saying goodbye to that ear entirely. " Cora announced, then her eyes lit up when she saw mine water up with tears. "Please do weep. I love seeing my mates realize the gravity of the situation they're in."

When she said that I held back my tears and I looked at her defiantly.

"Fine, be that way. I'll break you eventually." Cora told me.

All the rogues left and Cora laid beside and wrapped her paws around me and nuzzled her face into my neck.

I've never felt more violated in my life.

Present day

It had been three moons since I joined ThunderClan and I didn't have any friends here besides Hogtussle. Just cats that I made small talk with. Tonight was the Gathering and the last three times I didn't go given how awkward it'd be to see RiverClan again. Hogtussle loved the Gatherings and wanted me to go, she updated me on them constantly. And this time, I was considering going.

It was the moment Me and Hogtussle were sharing a rabbit leg when I decided to go. Of course Hogtussle's eyes were excitedly locked on mine when I put my paw over her eyes.

"You can quit the big eyes Hog, I'm going to the Gathering." I assured Hogtussle. She excitedly nuzzled me and skipped to our leader's den and came back moments later skipping even more eagerly and I knew that I was going to the Gathering. After we finished eating and the moon started rising, Waspstar came out of her den.

"Yellowlight, Hailflower, Leaffoot, Curlfoot, Harry, Adrien, Marinette, Lynxmask, Newtspots, Hogtussle, and Blazespirit will be going to the Gathering." Waspstar announced.

Both of Hogtussle's ex-mates were going, that'll make my first Gathering since I joined ThunderClan fun. I gave a sigh of annoyance as I walked beside Hogtussle to the island.

"You alright Blazespirit?" Hogtussle asked.

"With seeing RiverClan again and your ex-mates coming with, I'm worried that this Gathering is going to be a disaster for me." I admitted.

"Why would my former mates be a problem for you?" Hogtussle asked.

"Cause you're my best friend Hogtussle. If they do or say something and you get upset, then that'll ruin my Gathering too." I explained.

"That's sweet Blazespirit, but I can handle them on my own." Hogtussle reassured me.

I noticed the reeds near the island and briefly remembered my time with RiverClan before I climbed onto the tree-bridge with Hogtussle behind me to make sure I didn't fall into the water.

When I landed on the island, I noticed that ShadowClan and RiverClan were already here and I caught Oakbranch's scent almost right away and I looked to my right and I saw Oakbranch and his mate Owlmask. When my fur tensed I came to the realization that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was.

"Blaze?" Oakbranch whispered.

"It's Blazespirit now." My ears flattened as stress from past memories began to intensify. "I've got to go."

"Wait, how are you? Are you happy?" Oakbranch asked.

"If happy means leaving my bad past only to join a bunch of loners that all get killed by a group of rogues lead by their leader who took me as her mate while I was injured, did unspeakable things to me, then threw me out like a rotten carcass...then sure! I'm happy." I snapped.

Oakbranch and Owlmask looked past me and I looked over my shoulder to see Hogtussle staring at me with shock. I felt fear and I ran out of the clearing and into the trees. I didn't want to be left alone, and it seemed that Hogtussle knew that because she followed me.

"Blazespirit...I had no idea that all that stuff happened to you. With my problems such as past relationships and mean cats...I was dealing with demons and you were dealing with monsters." Hogtussle whispered, leaning against me. "You could've told me all those things and I'd stay by your side. You don't have to be alone in this, I'm here for you."

I looked into her beautiful green eyes and felt incredibly happy that she understood the pain and the suffocating that I felt moons ago and I leaned into her shoulder. I knew moons ago that I was over Redblossom, my feelings for Snowball were also a lost cause and she was probably just a crush, and I was never in love with Cora to begin with, so I certainly didn't miss her anymore. When my head was close to hers, I felt her intoxicating scent that I smelled from the day I met her mess with my thinking. Did I want to be with my best friend? Forever I don't know...but tonight I certainly do.

After I expressed my gratitude to her, we spent the rest of the Gathering laughing and leaning against each other basking in each other's presence and I thought that I saw Waspstar looking at us with a glint of happiness in her eyes. Was her mother approving me as her daughter's lover or something? I didn't concern myself with it too long because after the Gathering was over, we walked to an area many fox-lengths away from ThunderClan.

When she put her paw on my chest, that's when the worries and questions sprang to life. Hogtussle had many failed relationships and the only other time that I mated with another cat was the evil leader named Cora. What would her ex-mates think? What if fate would intervene with my happiness and hurt Hogtussle like it hurt Snowball? I moved back a little and Hogtussle removed her paw from my chest.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to do Blaze." Hogtussle reassured me. "I like you a lot, but just know that whatever you want is fine. If you want to do it once, several times, or not at all. That's fine with me."

I almost felt like crying because she was giving me the right that was violently revoked from me moons ago: consent. And I believed that I was ready, but what did this mean for us? How would ThunderClan react if they somehow found out? I pushed down the storm of questions swarming over my mind and for the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to give in to happiness and desire.

"I'm ready." I whispered as I leaned into Hogtussle and her lovely scent, her bubbly voice, her safe presence.

Her perfect everything.

Cora's POV

"How's Mina doing?" I asked one of my pathetic rogues about the black and brown she-cat that became my mate after that pathetic Blaze moons ago. I didn't remember the rogue's name and I didn't care. What mattered was that the one mate that actually enjoyed being my mate would recover from her greencough. The grey unnamed tabby shrank back and I growled.

"Don't lie to me." I spat.

"She's not...she's dying. We don't think she's going to make it through the night-"

"Move." I snarled, shoving the tom aside and entering the den where Mina was by her lonesome. I leaned into her sick fur and felt anger, rage, and another feeling that I would never show to any other cat till the day I die: sadness. It was a feeling that I let loose when my father killed my mother, and it was a feeling that I would never show again.

"I'm s-sorry Cora. You mean a lot to me but I feel like I'm s-s-slipping away..." Mina whimpered. I let my tail rest on her back and I whispered comforting words, and since fate hated me, I would lose the only cat that wanted me back. Mina stopped breathing completely and I ran out of her den and all my rogues looked at me fearfully. Every time a mate of mine died or managed to escape, I usually threw a rageful fit and ripped the ears of some of my rogues. But I let Blaze go, and due to her constant talk of the Clans when I wasn't around, I knew where she went.

"Attention my rogues, Mina is dead. Our mission is to find and bring Blaze back to become my mate again." I announced. "Branden and Elijah will be watching the queens and the kits till we get back. We leave now."

My rogues wasted no time following me out of our temporary camp and that's what truly satisfied me: knowing that many cats were at my beck and call, that I could get any cat I want as my mate, that I could conquer any territory I wanted.

Blaze was as good as mine.