The following will take place between 2pm and 3pm on the day Washu
discovers Lem T Lemming is up to something at the coffee Shoppee.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Lunchtime Coffee Shop rush was in full swing and anime and animated characters were having a blast drinking coffee. But for all those who took the sugar that Lem used from Excel's drug parcel, the results are insane. At 2:05pm, Washu - the 2nd in command of Lem's Coffee Shop entered the shop to witness an alarming change in her customers. They were all doped up and scattered around the shop.
Homer Simpson laid on the counter drooling white goo from his mouth gargling. Guts and Caska from the band of the hawk were prancing around like ballerinas. Gendo was telling everyone how much he regretted trying to destroy the world just for the sole reason of trying to find his dead wife. Well, at least he could have asked a psychic to speak to her. With such examples, the chaos seemed to have begun.
" What in the name of everything that makes sense is going on here?" cried Washu scared seeing the sight of the lunchtime rush of customers to the coffee shop. Lem grabbed her and pulled her into the kitchen. " Lem! Oh you better have a damn good reason for this."
" I do, I do! Believe me Washu," said Lem.
" I'm listening," said Washu folding her arms.
" William Collins, he busted an anime character for using cocaine."
".Ah ha."
" But he handed me the cocaine to look after.then I handed it to Clem who I asked to look after it. He gave it to Dipsy.."
".Go on."
".Dipsy accidentally mistook the cocaine for sugar and put it in the sugar pots. Now the majority of our customers have sugar with their coffees, therefore put cocaine into coffee, stir it around, drink, you'll be high within minutes."
" Lem! If Collins finds out about this, we're all screwed!" Washu snarled grabbing him.
" Yeah I know.. but look on the bright side.. we're making money!"
" What?"
" MONEY! THE GREEN STUFF, IT GROWS ON TREES IN DREAMS, MAKES THE ANIMATION BUISNESS DREAM COME TRUE." He shook Washu. " WE'RE MAKING PROFITS!"
" You're joking!"
" I AM NOT!" exclaimed Lem. " We made a total of..Clem."
" So far according to our accounts.$2,500 so far TODAY!"
" Holy sh-,"
" Exactly Washu," said Lem. " Sure, those idiots out there are act like jackasses and pretend to be ballerinas, but that's a result of us making money!"
" It's brilliant, you're saying that Dipsy did this?"
" He did! But by accident."
" I could kiss him," smiled Washu.
" Why kiss a Teletubby while you can kiss the guy who decided not to stop serving customers."
".If we hit 7,500, I'll kiss you!"
" YES!" shouted Lem. He paused. " Wait.why would I want a kiss when we've hated one another for the past several months."
" I dunno.maybe luck's changing."
" This is flukes, not lucks."
" Hey Lem.telephone call for you," said Clem passing Lem the phone.
" Excuse me partner." said Lem.
".We're partner's again?"
" We do own this place don't we?" smiled Lem. He answered the phone. " Lem T. Lemming here.."
* * * * * * Meanwhile - it is 2:24pm - William Collins has rung the shop
" Hi Lem." William responded. " .I'm on my way over to pick up the drugs I left with you."
* * * * * * " ACK!" squealed Lem quickly. Washu raised an eyebrow. " Oh.really?"
* * * * * * " Yeah, really," said William. " I'll be down in around ten, twenty minutes." * * * * * *
" O-o-ok," said Lem putting the phone down looking deflated. He took a long pause.
" What is it?" asked Washu. Lem looked at his watch. It was 2:35pm
" Collins wants the drugs back!" He spluttered. " WE'RE SCREWED! WE'RE ALL GOING TO JAIL!"
" WE? YOU'RE THE IDIOT YOU SAID KEEP THE CRACK IN THE DRUGS!"
" BUT IT WAS DIPSY WHO DID THE ACCIDENT!" screamed Lem. He turned angrily to Clem. "WHERE IS THE DAMN DIPSHIT?!"
" Serving customers why?" asked Clem.
" HE MUST DIE!" Lem screamed running past Clem into the shop floor. " DIPSY!"
" Dipsy over here," cried Dipsy waving as he was sitting next to a drugged Goku and Vegeta who were playing tag while sitting.
" YOU PIECE OF SH-" Lem charged and tripped up on something. He got up pulling Belldandy and Keiichi up. " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE! I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE, YOU DON'T MAKE OUT IN MY STORE!"
" But we being intimate." Belldandy said dreamily under the drug influence. Lem growled throwing them into the wall next to him. He continued marching towards Dipsy when Guts interrupted him in his ballerina costume. A pink tutu and a plastic gold crown were the only things this idiot was wearing.
" Hello, would you like to see do Swan Lake?" asked Guts goofily.
" NO! I DO NOT!"
" Oh, it will be fun, Caska agreed to play the plum princesses."
" BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU DOPED UP PIECES OF SHIT.I COULD GO TO JAIL!"
" What? You get go there?"
" NO YOU TIT!" screamed Lem kicking Guts in the crotch. Guts squealed and collapsed. Lem charged over to the table, grabbed Dipsy and dragged him back into the kitchen. He closed the door.
" Did Dipsy do wrong?"
" No Dipsy didn't do anything wrong.he's just managed to make Lem look like a FRICKING DRUG DEALER!" Lem screamed. He picked up a frying pan and smacked Dipsy across the face.
" Lem! Stop it!" cried Washu as Lem repeatedly smacked Dipsy. " We're all in this mess..well.except for me of course.but still! I'm sure everything will turn out alright, if you just tell William it was an accident."
" She's got a point," said Clem. Kenny nodded.
" Guess so." said Lem starting to calm down.
" As long as anyone doesn't mention the fact that we agreed.well...you lot.agreed to put the dope in the coffee."
" Agreed," said Lem. At 2:45pm, the group were interrupted by a smash. The door was smashed open with Homer and Gendo standing there with their arms around one another. Both seemed to be very high.
" Let me tell you." Homer started. " That we're getting married."
" Yes.I've got a divorce for Yui. She wants to marry Fuyustki.heh.she wants to marry my best friend." Gendo dribbled, his glasses on upside down.
" Heh.friend." giggled Homer. The two fell on their faces in front of the group.
" We better come up with something fast!" Lem added staring at Homer and Gendo. He started to push them out; it took around five minutes leaving the clock at 2:50pm
" I got it! Let's say we thought it was the sparkling magic dust of coffee that allowed our customers to vision strange things and make them act like doped up people!" declared Clem.
" BRILIANT!" screamed Lem. " That's a smashing idea."
" Really?" asked Clem at his own stupid idea.
" OF COURSE NOT! William is not going to believe that."
" Speaking of William." coughed Washu turning away.
" What about William?"
" Hi Lem," William waved coming through the door. " I noticed the party going on in the shop, is there a celebration going on in there?"
" Oh dear god, it's 2:59pm!" cried Clem.
" What a quick hour," replied Lem.
* * * * * * * * * * MEANWHILE - Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
" I'm federal agent Jack Bauer Mr Burns and I've come to inspect your Nuclear power plant."
" Nuclear power plant?" screamed Mr Burns. " What for?"
" I believe that terrorists will plan to blow up this power plant for no such reason as to continue this mockery of 24!" cried Jack Bauer. " Now are you going to let me into your plant? Or do I have to get my hacksaw."
" NO! NOT THE HACKSAW!" cried Burns. He pressed a button. " Smithers! Lead Mr Bauer to the safety room where Homer Simpson is suppose to work!"
" Of course Mr Burns, follow me Mr Bauer." Cried Smithers running into Burn's office, grabbing Jack and running towards the safety room.
" I hope we're not too late!" cried Jack. The doors opened and the two stepped in. The plant was facing nuclear meltdown. Sirens were going off with spray painted words A and a cross on the wall. " Where's the safety inspector?"
" He's on a coffee break I guess," Smithers replied.
MELTDOWN TO OCCUR IN LESS THAN 20 SECONDS
" OH MY GOD! IT'S GOING TO BLOW! AT THIS LAST MINUTE OF THE HOUR!" screamed Smithers. " I CAN'T DIE! I HAVEN'T TOLD MR BURNS I'M GAY!!!!"
" Relax gay man," cried Jack. " Just tell me you have expendable people."
" Of course we do.Lenny! Carl!" shouted Smithers. The two loveable workers of the power plant walked into the room.
" You rang Mr Smithers??" asked Carl.
" I want you to die to prevent this power plant blowing up." Shouted Bauer.
" Why? My horoscope told me I was going to die with the one I truly care about," Lenny cried.
" My one said the same thing!" cried Carl.
" We have so much in common!" Lenny happily declared.
CORE MELTDOWN TO OCCUR IN 10 SECONDS
" Yes.well.the plot's already too confusing! I must dash!" screamed Jack running off down the corridor. " IT'S STARTING TO BECOME A LONG DAY!"
" Well Lenny and Carl, you can expect a promotion when you die." Said Smithers walking out of the room and locking the doors. " See.that's weird," Lenny spoke a little confused. " I thought if you die you couldn't get a promotion."
" Yeah. Maybe ghosts have careers now," Carl replied.
CORE MELTDOWN OCCURING. KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE IN 5 SECONDS
" PROMOTION!" Carl and Lenny screamed together happily.
2:59:58
2:59:59
3:00:00
KA-BOOM
* * * * * * * * * *
The Lunchtime Coffee Shop rush was in full swing and anime and animated characters were having a blast drinking coffee. But for all those who took the sugar that Lem used from Excel's drug parcel, the results are insane. At 2:05pm, Washu - the 2nd in command of Lem's Coffee Shop entered the shop to witness an alarming change in her customers. They were all doped up and scattered around the shop.
Homer Simpson laid on the counter drooling white goo from his mouth gargling. Guts and Caska from the band of the hawk were prancing around like ballerinas. Gendo was telling everyone how much he regretted trying to destroy the world just for the sole reason of trying to find his dead wife. Well, at least he could have asked a psychic to speak to her. With such examples, the chaos seemed to have begun.
" What in the name of everything that makes sense is going on here?" cried Washu scared seeing the sight of the lunchtime rush of customers to the coffee shop. Lem grabbed her and pulled her into the kitchen. " Lem! Oh you better have a damn good reason for this."
" I do, I do! Believe me Washu," said Lem.
" I'm listening," said Washu folding her arms.
" William Collins, he busted an anime character for using cocaine."
".Ah ha."
" But he handed me the cocaine to look after.then I handed it to Clem who I asked to look after it. He gave it to Dipsy.."
".Go on."
".Dipsy accidentally mistook the cocaine for sugar and put it in the sugar pots. Now the majority of our customers have sugar with their coffees, therefore put cocaine into coffee, stir it around, drink, you'll be high within minutes."
" Lem! If Collins finds out about this, we're all screwed!" Washu snarled grabbing him.
" Yeah I know.. but look on the bright side.. we're making money!"
" What?"
" MONEY! THE GREEN STUFF, IT GROWS ON TREES IN DREAMS, MAKES THE ANIMATION BUISNESS DREAM COME TRUE." He shook Washu. " WE'RE MAKING PROFITS!"
" You're joking!"
" I AM NOT!" exclaimed Lem. " We made a total of..Clem."
" So far according to our accounts.$2,500 so far TODAY!"
" Holy sh-,"
" Exactly Washu," said Lem. " Sure, those idiots out there are act like jackasses and pretend to be ballerinas, but that's a result of us making money!"
" It's brilliant, you're saying that Dipsy did this?"
" He did! But by accident."
" I could kiss him," smiled Washu.
" Why kiss a Teletubby while you can kiss the guy who decided not to stop serving customers."
".If we hit 7,500, I'll kiss you!"
" YES!" shouted Lem. He paused. " Wait.why would I want a kiss when we've hated one another for the past several months."
" I dunno.maybe luck's changing."
" This is flukes, not lucks."
" Hey Lem.telephone call for you," said Clem passing Lem the phone.
" Excuse me partner." said Lem.
".We're partner's again?"
" We do own this place don't we?" smiled Lem. He answered the phone. " Lem T. Lemming here.."
* * * * * * Meanwhile - it is 2:24pm - William Collins has rung the shop
" Hi Lem." William responded. " .I'm on my way over to pick up the drugs I left with you."
* * * * * * " ACK!" squealed Lem quickly. Washu raised an eyebrow. " Oh.really?"
* * * * * * " Yeah, really," said William. " I'll be down in around ten, twenty minutes." * * * * * *
" O-o-ok," said Lem putting the phone down looking deflated. He took a long pause.
" What is it?" asked Washu. Lem looked at his watch. It was 2:35pm
" Collins wants the drugs back!" He spluttered. " WE'RE SCREWED! WE'RE ALL GOING TO JAIL!"
" WE? YOU'RE THE IDIOT YOU SAID KEEP THE CRACK IN THE DRUGS!"
" BUT IT WAS DIPSY WHO DID THE ACCIDENT!" screamed Lem. He turned angrily to Clem. "WHERE IS THE DAMN DIPSHIT?!"
" Serving customers why?" asked Clem.
" HE MUST DIE!" Lem screamed running past Clem into the shop floor. " DIPSY!"
" Dipsy over here," cried Dipsy waving as he was sitting next to a drugged Goku and Vegeta who were playing tag while sitting.
" YOU PIECE OF SH-" Lem charged and tripped up on something. He got up pulling Belldandy and Keiichi up. " WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE! I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE, YOU DON'T MAKE OUT IN MY STORE!"
" But we being intimate." Belldandy said dreamily under the drug influence. Lem growled throwing them into the wall next to him. He continued marching towards Dipsy when Guts interrupted him in his ballerina costume. A pink tutu and a plastic gold crown were the only things this idiot was wearing.
" Hello, would you like to see do Swan Lake?" asked Guts goofily.
" NO! I DO NOT!"
" Oh, it will be fun, Caska agreed to play the plum princesses."
" BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU DOPED UP PIECES OF SHIT.I COULD GO TO JAIL!"
" What? You get go there?"
" NO YOU TIT!" screamed Lem kicking Guts in the crotch. Guts squealed and collapsed. Lem charged over to the table, grabbed Dipsy and dragged him back into the kitchen. He closed the door.
" Did Dipsy do wrong?"
" No Dipsy didn't do anything wrong.he's just managed to make Lem look like a FRICKING DRUG DEALER!" Lem screamed. He picked up a frying pan and smacked Dipsy across the face.
" Lem! Stop it!" cried Washu as Lem repeatedly smacked Dipsy. " We're all in this mess..well.except for me of course.but still! I'm sure everything will turn out alright, if you just tell William it was an accident."
" She's got a point," said Clem. Kenny nodded.
" Guess so." said Lem starting to calm down.
" As long as anyone doesn't mention the fact that we agreed.well...you lot.agreed to put the dope in the coffee."
" Agreed," said Lem. At 2:45pm, the group were interrupted by a smash. The door was smashed open with Homer and Gendo standing there with their arms around one another. Both seemed to be very high.
" Let me tell you." Homer started. " That we're getting married."
" Yes.I've got a divorce for Yui. She wants to marry Fuyustki.heh.she wants to marry my best friend." Gendo dribbled, his glasses on upside down.
" Heh.friend." giggled Homer. The two fell on their faces in front of the group.
" We better come up with something fast!" Lem added staring at Homer and Gendo. He started to push them out; it took around five minutes leaving the clock at 2:50pm
" I got it! Let's say we thought it was the sparkling magic dust of coffee that allowed our customers to vision strange things and make them act like doped up people!" declared Clem.
" BRILIANT!" screamed Lem. " That's a smashing idea."
" Really?" asked Clem at his own stupid idea.
" OF COURSE NOT! William is not going to believe that."
" Speaking of William." coughed Washu turning away.
" What about William?"
" Hi Lem," William waved coming through the door. " I noticed the party going on in the shop, is there a celebration going on in there?"
" Oh dear god, it's 2:59pm!" cried Clem.
" What a quick hour," replied Lem.
* * * * * * * * * * MEANWHILE - Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
" I'm federal agent Jack Bauer Mr Burns and I've come to inspect your Nuclear power plant."
" Nuclear power plant?" screamed Mr Burns. " What for?"
" I believe that terrorists will plan to blow up this power plant for no such reason as to continue this mockery of 24!" cried Jack Bauer. " Now are you going to let me into your plant? Or do I have to get my hacksaw."
" NO! NOT THE HACKSAW!" cried Burns. He pressed a button. " Smithers! Lead Mr Bauer to the safety room where Homer Simpson is suppose to work!"
" Of course Mr Burns, follow me Mr Bauer." Cried Smithers running into Burn's office, grabbing Jack and running towards the safety room.
" I hope we're not too late!" cried Jack. The doors opened and the two stepped in. The plant was facing nuclear meltdown. Sirens were going off with spray painted words A and a cross on the wall. " Where's the safety inspector?"
" He's on a coffee break I guess," Smithers replied.
MELTDOWN TO OCCUR IN LESS THAN 20 SECONDS
" OH MY GOD! IT'S GOING TO BLOW! AT THIS LAST MINUTE OF THE HOUR!" screamed Smithers. " I CAN'T DIE! I HAVEN'T TOLD MR BURNS I'M GAY!!!!"
" Relax gay man," cried Jack. " Just tell me you have expendable people."
" Of course we do.Lenny! Carl!" shouted Smithers. The two loveable workers of the power plant walked into the room.
" You rang Mr Smithers??" asked Carl.
" I want you to die to prevent this power plant blowing up." Shouted Bauer.
" Why? My horoscope told me I was going to die with the one I truly care about," Lenny cried.
" My one said the same thing!" cried Carl.
" We have so much in common!" Lenny happily declared.
CORE MELTDOWN TO OCCUR IN 10 SECONDS
" Yes.well.the plot's already too confusing! I must dash!" screamed Jack running off down the corridor. " IT'S STARTING TO BECOME A LONG DAY!"
" Well Lenny and Carl, you can expect a promotion when you die." Said Smithers walking out of the room and locking the doors. " See.that's weird," Lenny spoke a little confused. " I thought if you die you couldn't get a promotion."
" Yeah. Maybe ghosts have careers now," Carl replied.
CORE MELTDOWN OCCURING. KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE IN 5 SECONDS
" PROMOTION!" Carl and Lenny screamed together happily.
2:59:58
2:59:59
3:00:00
KA-BOOM