Chapter 2

#import COPYRIGHT_OWNERSHIP_DENIAL

Italicized text sentences are character's thoughts, italicized text inside a sentence is just emphasis. Regular text is narrative. "Dialogue is in quotes, of course."

I came to again inside a tent, lying on my back on a partly-open sleeping bag with a damp cloth on my forehead. Unfamiliar ceiling. If you can call it a ceiling.

Remembering what happened when I tried to stand before, I decided to take things even easier this time and restricted myself to gently kicking off the sleeping bag and pushing myself up on one elbow. The somewhat cool air was a balm to my slightly-overheated skin, and the sensations caused me to take a quick glance down at myself.

Shorter. slightly more muscular legs and softer skin than I remembered met my eyes, which widened in shock when I processed the differences. A double-take to confirm it, and raising a hand in front of my face to compare the lengths of my index and ring fingers brought back and verified the memory from when I woke up before: this is not the body I remember.

Torn between covering my mouth in shock, and dropping back down in disbelief, my hand just shakes in front of me for a few moments before I shake myself. Don't worry about it right now; maybe worry about the bruising and bandages instead? I sit up, pulling my legs towards my torso, and gingerly apply pressure near it to see how bad it hurt. A slight grimace flares momentarily with the discomfort, but it's not as bad as it could be. Then again, anything's better than a gut incision, in comparison.

I decided to leave it be, and started looking around the small, two-person tent for something to wear – someone had removed all but my underwear before, and I wanted to be presentable before bothering anyone. Spying a canvas backpack in the corner with a sturdy-looking shirt and pants, the latter with what appeared to be dirt, grass, and dried-blood stains, I pulled myself over to it and opened it. Jackpot! Several sets of what seemed like traveling clothes were inside, and I quickly donned a tank top and, much less quickly, a pair of loose pants – thank parallel development for jeans! And comfortable, cargo pocket jeans, too, not skinny-jeans, thank $DEITY – and grabbed a clean pair of socks from the bag.

I really hope this is 'my' bag, or this is going to be awkward. Er. Awkwarder.

While I was doing this, I was thinking about who I'd woken up around before. I hadn't quite put the pieces together until she said his name, but between the woman with dark hair calling the man "Barrett" – okay, yep, that's not something metal IN his hand I saw before– and mentioning a man named Cloud, it was pretty obvious what was going on.

I was surrounded by fanatically-dedicated cosplaying roleplayers in really realistic costumes, even down to dirt and grime in the cloth. Neat. Wait, that's an easy explanation, sure, but it doesn't explain my "makeover", which apparently is at least skeletal structure deep holy shit. Or should that be Holy shit?

Either way, I really want to know what the hell is going on. How am I here, wherever this "here" is? It looks enough like the world of Final Fantasy 7, but by definition that is a videogame. Fiction.

I distracted myself for a moment from this silly train of thought by going through the pockets of the dirty pair of pants, and transferring them to the fresh pair. There wasn't much: a resealable packet of moist handwipes, several small plastic bottles shaped like round-bottom flasks from a chemistry lab labeled "Potion – 10% More Free!" containing two mouthfuls of cherry-red liquid about the viscosity of tomato sauce; two more smaller, square bottles containing a pale yellow, watery liquid and labeled, "Yuna's General Antidote", and a bottle of eyedrops of some kind. All looked like something you'd find at a typical drugstore, too – very nicely machine-printed labels, a lot number and expiration date, doseage recommendations, and (in the antidote's case) a cautionary note that it does not prevent or treat hangovers. Whoever made these did a good job, very dedicated...

...okay, this is ridiculous – I wake up in a field, after being hit by a truck in the middle of a city's downtown, and I'm not in the body I remember… and I'm clinging to the premise that reality is the way I thought it was. Idiot. *sigh* Okay, now to start working through this properly.

Let's assume for reasoning's sake that this is the actual world of Gaia, as depicted (or close thereto) in Final Fantasy 7. I'm...probably useless here. Another mouth to feed, an arm that has no experience fighting...going up against an end-boss who can summon attacks that put holes through gas giants, if you believe the US version of the attack animation scene. A villain who went nuts after multiple nights reading a wacko's notes, without sleep, and then slayed an entire village. Oh, and iirc had two of his only friends, fellow genetically-messed-with child-SOLDIERs, go nuts before then, leaving him all alone in the night. And was then sent falling into the Lifestream, to his apparent death.

A teenaged child-SOLDIER zombie who has been (and is being) whispered to by the head of an Eldritch Abomination (one who single-handedly nearly wiped out an entire species of sapient magic-users, and would've destroyed the planet and called it a Tuesday), and will manipulate another mad-science experiment into helping him call down a world-killing Meteor.

And, at a minimum, I've got to live in this world, knowing what's going to happen.

Fuck my life…stream. Heh.

Anyway, it's stressing me out anyway, and mental stress, like swooping, is Bad. Think about it later. Some water sounds nice about now.

The tent flap opened at this point, and the orange-red head of a lion-dog-thing poked inside, before withdrawing quickly when it saw me up and awake. A minute later, and after I realized that was probably Nanaki and not some vicious mindless predator coming to finish me off, 'Aerith' properly moved the flap aside and ducked inside, quietly calling back to someone outside, "Oh don't worry too much, she'll understand after we explain it." She turned her head back to me and she is prettier in person. "Hey there. You really shouldn't be exerting yourself before I've given you another looking-over, you know." She stomped over, half-hunched from the tent's low ceiling, with a mild scowl on her face, and I looked away to where I had been carefully lacing 'my' hiking boot. Pretty intense, more like. Jeez...

Before I could say anything, 'Tifa' and the lion appeared at the entrance, blocking any escape I might've conspired to make from the situation – not that I would've. The lion somehow looked pained, as if he'd been urged into a situation he wasn't in the mood to be in. "I hardly think this is appropriate timing for my appearance!"

"Too bad, I'm not having one of us jumped by a stranger, injured or not." I appreciate trying to whisper that, lady, but I still hear you...wait, I hear you and-

Raising my now widened eyes, I stared at the lion. Dog. Whatever the heck.

'Aerith' – and I'm definitely putting more weight behind these people possibly being who they're dressed and acting like, now – waved a hand in front of me. "Um, hello? I asked if you wouldn't mind sitting back and letting me check how you're healing?"

We're sorry, but the human you're trying to reach is trying not to freak out right now, please leave a message after the beep. I give a weak wave at everyone– "Um, s-sorry…was a bit lost in thought." I hesitated a moment, before reciting the line I'd come up with before y'all out there reading showed up again, "Also, uh, not to sound rude but what's with the talking lion? I was thinking like anamatronics like I've seen at Golden Saucer but I've never seen one whose mouth moves so in-sync with speech an-and definitely not one so lifelike..." I trail off, I hope my acting isn't too bad...and that I didn't come off as speciest now that I think of it.

Tifa and Nanaki don't quite freeze as they process my apparent rationalization, but the look on her face is comical for a moment. A clearly shaking with laughter Nanaki answers the question: "I assure you, I am flesh and bone same as you. I volunteered to keep an eye on you until you woke up, and watch for signs of delirium, since I don't have watch tonight. I'm not going to hurt you – humans don't taste very good." A joke? Yeah, probably. I deserved that.

"Heh, funny. Thank you for doing that." Not knowing how exactly to smooth it over, I instead opt to smile and act like it didn't happen until I could think through a better apology; I sit back as 'Aerith' had asked. I pluck the cloth from the bag, where it fell when I sat up. "Was I feverish or something? I feel fine."

"Yeah, you were a little warm when you collapsed. Not really enough to be worried about, but we didn't want to be taken unawares if it turned worse," Tifa explained. "You said you 'felt fine' before you collapsed, too, so don't take any chances!" Note: Serious-face Tifa is serious, and Agreeing-nod Aerith is no less.

"Well! Just hold still a moment, open your eyes and watch my hand, okay?"

"Huh?" I'm oh so intelligent right when I wake up in the morning, don't you know. Or, whatever time it is now.

Aerith didn't quite roll her eyes, but it was kinda implied in her expression and head tilt. "So I can check you over, silly!" She held up one hand, with her index, ring, and pinky fingers extended and asked how many I was holding up. She seemed satisfied with my answer, and my eyes flickered away from hers again. Around her wrist was clamped a dark metal band with three holes, each about two inches round, filled with glassy spheres to match – faintly green, a pale indigo, and the last yellow and glowing from about the center half of the volume. She slowly waved it from one side to the other and my eyes followed it. "Just a Sense materia, don't worry. Hmm…stretch your arms out for me."

I do so; Aerith waves the materia down each arm, slowing at the faded slash marks on the left. So, Sense is more like a medical scan here? "Okay, okay, looking good so far. Now your legs..."

I dutifully stretch my legs out parallel to each other for her inspection. The damage was worse here – my left leg was still bruised from what she explained was impact which I later realized would've broken bone back home, and something had tried to hamstring my right – and apparently was only just stopped by the now-cracked hardened leather worn by whoever this body...belonged...to. Great, trying not to think of that.

I guess it showed on my face, because Tifa piped up as she was picking in her shoe, "Not a fan of physicals?"

Uh, "I'm fine with them, just not with what makes them necessary." I shrug.

"Oh?"

I gesture pointedly at the aforementioned limb. "I generally try to avoid inconvenient injuries. Or any at all, for that matter."

"Please do, makes my job here easier." Aerith, of course. I looked back at what she was doing – knowing how to do this may prove useful – and saw the yellow glow wink out. Aerith extracted a gasp of quick, stinging pain when she removed the bandage; she then twisted a ring around the indigo materia in her bangle and it popped out, before she palmed it in the other hand. She lightly touched her bangle-wristed left hand to the bruise, and the green orb lit up.

You know that stinging sensation you get with some shots, a few moments after they've already removed the needle? This was about the same intensity as a Hep A vaccination's sting, but instead pleasant like the first bite from a fresh-baked muffin or a good batch of buckwheat pancakes, and a feeling that all is going to be okay, localized to the area of your injuries.

"Ahh..." I sigh. Aerith smirks happily for a moment, but she maintains concentration on the...spell? That's going to take a bit to get used to thinking of as a real thing, too.

"Okey-dokey, that's that bit sanitized and healed. It'll still be a bit off-colored for a few days, I think, but the muscle bruising" yikes "should be good enough to walk on for now. The other leg's not as bad off – you had some good armor! What little got through should Cure", she winked here – a punner after my own heart, "itself in a few days. You, or one of us, can chill the wrap every now and then to keep the soreness down, or just apply some menthol. Just try not to carry too much weight. Guess your staff will be handy, huh? It's a little light but sturdy and grippable, just the thing. If it starts twinging at all, Cloud's a great bodyguard, I'm sure he won't mind you leaning on him," she winked again.

"Yeaah, great." I'd really rather not. And sounds like Ms. Sniffy McDisapproval over there...oh. She nodded, guess she reconsidered? Cross that bridge..."m'I done?"

"Well, you'll want to wrap it, like I said, but yep, all done!" She sprang to her feet, narrowing remembering the low tent ceiling in time to avoid embarrassment. "Just hang back with me if we run into anything."

Eh? Oh, right. More monsters. "Uh, well, if you're done, I need to use the restroom, sooo..." I donned a sock on my still-unclad foot, before reaching for the boots.

"Oh! Right, the essentials are right out by the rocks, the Lady's hole," Aerith nose crinkled involuntarily, "is on the other side. Can't miss it!" She then ducked back outside, with a nod to Tifa, who returned it.

Tifa gestured at the green canvas bag in the corner a bit languidly. "We found your stuff tossed aside, looks like that part wasn't bothered much. Your food bag was torn open," she explained. "Now, a few rules." She waited for me to stop lacing my boot and look at her before continuing. "One, never wander off alone in the field, not even for bathroom breaks. I'll give you privacy, but I'm not letting you get yourself-"

I couldn't resist: "Get caught with my pants down?"

"Yes, that." Okay, don't interrupt Serious-face Tifa. "Two, do not ask if we're there yet, unless you want a slap to the head, and I won't hold back much. Just ask Barret. Three – and these should be obvious – don't pick fights we can avoid, and four, watch your targets. Aerith will have enough going on without healing up after friendly-Fire. Good?"

"Pretty obvious." I agreed. "Now, if anything else can wait: I have shit to deal with." I finished tying the other boot and stand. Unfortunately, I stumble a bit as I do so, so my dramatic exit is completely ruined.

Ah well, I'll just pretend I didn't hear her noise of disapproval...or the snicker.

One Smelly Weirdness Later

I guessed that this world probably rotated like Earth, perhaps even the same direction, but I thought it better to just ask what time it was once we got back by the tents. There were three of them set up, all camouflaged to roughly blend into the plains we seemed to be in. Another indication I really was a ways from home.

Tifa piped up, "It's actually dinnertime, I'll bring you some stew. Wait here, in your tent." Nanaki kept an eye on me from some feet away while she walked downwind and around one of the other tents to the makeshift 'campfire' – a smokeless burner, so I'm not sure why they made the effort, didn't want to bother hungry people with the smells of cooking, perhaps? – and when she returned she waved, revealing the two metal camping bowls in her hands, with a spoon rising over the rim of each.

I gave the bowl a wary glance. Stew generally meant meat. "Um, what kind of stew is this?"

She shrugged, "Kalm Fang, some canned vegetables." Yay. "Sorry, it's what we have." She sounds annoyed, I guess my thought showed on my face. Of course she's annoyed, don't look a gift...chocobo in the beak. Make your own food later if you're going to be uptight about it here. "Careful, it's hot." She set in on level part of the hard ground in front of me, where I sat on the now rolled-up bag.

"U-um… thanks for the food." I pick it up and stir it a bit to cool it off. Just ignore the taste, you did it for over a decade, you can put up with it now. I blew on a spoonful and sipped the broth. ...actually isn't quite so bad, but it's no lentil stew."Not bad. You make this?" I fake a smile. I'm good at faking smiles, the trick is to make sure you crinkle your eyes slightly, you see.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," she beams. "Barrett did most of the actual cooking, but I prepped the ingredients."

"Huh. Didn't take him for the cooking type." Ignore the meat, ignore the meat… I take bite. It's hot enough to not taste it very well. "He's the guy with the gun thing, right? The one who that girl with the braid griped at?"

"Yeah, that's Barret. The 'girl with the braid' is Aerith, and I'm Tifa." She sat back on the sleeping bag Nanaki had been lying on before. "The, heh, 'talking lion', goes by Red," she continued, "and the other guy's Cloud."

"Alright. Barret, Aerith, Tifa, 'Red', and Cloud." Well, shit, either I've had a complete break from reality, or….I've been broken from my reality. Heh heh heh. I take another sip from the bowl I've been idly stirring. I guess the polite thing here is to give her my name? I'll get even more weird looks if I go by ̌ϫ┴ ≡≡. I guess the one good thing about having had waaay too much time to think of unlikely scenarios is having decided on a feminine name.

"Call me Beth."

We talked for a bit as we ate – the usual "where're you from", "what were you doing out here alone, you were pretty beaten up!", and other sorts of questions you ask someone you find knocked out in the middle of grassy knoll-where. I've read enough self-insert fics from multiple fandoms to know that making up a solid story takes time and a lot of lying, and usually falls apart in the end. At the same time, I couldn't just tell her, "I'm a dude from a parallel and nonmagical world. Oh, and you and Nananki and everyone else are fictional characters in a videogame there! P.S., never EVER let Aerith go off by herself or with just Cloud." either. Not without some evidence... and none of my stuff came with me, so that's not really available.

In retrospect, I probably could've gotten away with part of that and had it passed off as delirium, but then I'd probably get dumped off in Kalm asap for medical care, and from what my script here says, There Are No Therapists is in as full effect here as it was in the game. Things wouldn't have turned out well for me in that scenario, either, if Hojo heard about me.

As it stood, I was pretty vague about where I was from – "It's complicated and painful, I don't really like to talk about it. Sorry..." – but got through it without saying anything that was a complete and knowing lie. I was on my way to Junon for work (Sephiroth'll show up there), I had no idea what had laid me out for the Kalm Fangs to munch on (true), and I was really grateful they'd found me before the Kalm Fangs had settled which one got first picks at the ten-piece Beth Bucket (very true). "I'd rather keep my drumsticks attached, thank you.", as I put it.

Dunno if I would've gotten away with it if it had been anybody else, someone a bit more experienced at interrogating people, but Tifa had other things on her mind right then. She was worried about Cloud's distant behavior and how long he'd gone without sending so much as a letter home.

The group wasn't stupid, of course – Tifa was the one to sleep in the tent that night, and as I gathered later, Nanaki slept outside in line-of-sight of our tent's entrance. Both were light sleepers, and neither could be disarmed if I proved to be a Shin-Ra spy with really good acting skills and a naturally-high temperature. You couldn't be too careful, even if you had a loudmouth with no sense of subtlety leading your 'terrorist' group.

The Next Morning

Aerith was even more annoyingly cheerful in the early morning. "Alright you two~, it's morning here in the Midgar Plateau so make like Wutai crops! RICE and SHINE!" She's also adept at catching thrown pillows and tossing them smack back at you, just so you know.

"Rrrugh. Are you always this grating in the morning?" Tifa groused. "I mean, Barret did tell me you weren't allowed to wake him anymore, but Shiva..."

"Yep!" Aerith didn't look the slightest bit apologetic. "It's Cloud's turn to make breakfast, so get it while it's warm!"

"Great, rehydrated MREs again." Tifa sat up and okay yeah, women back-stretching is still mildly distracting, good to know.

I pushed myself up with a groan and pushed the sleeping bag off; the air was cool and humid. Tifa and Aerith both looked me over. "Mornin'-morning! Sleep well?"

"Mmm...well enough, maybe too mu-" I broke off with a yawn. "Too much. What time is it?"

"Time to wake up, that's what time." Aerith ducked in and knelt next to me as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

The rest of the early morning proved...mildly interesting. Thankfully, AVALANCHE had packed toilet paper, a collapsible shovel, waterless shampoo, and some bars of soap in their bug-out kits. Seems Marlene insisted on scented soap, too, so Barrett smells like daffodils, and a little less intimidating. I owe you, little girl.

As for breakfast, I don't care what the Shin-Ra MRE ingredients label says, there is no way these are eggs.

The camp itself wasn't much. There had been enough concern about being visible from the air that no fire was set – the stew had been cooked entirely over a small butane burner, smoke-free and easily put out if need be. Three tents were set up about eight feet apart, both set in the shade of a large rock outcropping. The aforementioned "Lady's Hole" was downwind on the other side, while the Men's was apparently among a small stand of trees poking above the savannah of Midgar Plateau.

AVALANCHE returned the rest of "my" stuff as they packed up the camp. There wasn't much for me to do, and Aerith insisted that the day's walk would be more than enough strain without my helping take down the canvas tents, so I was left to clean up the wrappers and other garbage from breakfast, and to "re"-equip myself. It wasn't much of interest – a walking staff, as previously mentioned, with a single materia slot, and an armlet made of an almost opalescent silvery metal. Cloud later told me it was mythril. It had a pair of linked slots and padded with what appeared to be wool.

Yeah, I ended up talking to Cloud. I managed to make a quip about not usually falling for people before I even properly meet them, so hurray for not looking completely lacking in wit? Cloud did that anime-esque embarrassed head-scratch gesture of his. Or was it Zack's? I don't know.

Once I was done with cleanup, I repacked 'my' bag and had a quick look-through. Aside from having some clean (and dirty) changes of traveling clothes, and the most basic of toiletries, pads (I really am not looking forward to that ill-designed bloody bullshit), a journal and mechanical pencil (score!), two waterproof flashlights, fire-starting kit, rain gear, a sleeping bag (they dug mine out of the bag...I'm most definitely NOT a fan of people going through my stuff, but being annoyed when I didn't yet consider it my stuff? That's a new one on me) and...well, have you ever seen those Boy Scout manuals diagrams of hanging a tarp over a rope, suspended by two sturdy sticks? Apparently 'I' thought that would be a good-enough solution. Does Gaia not have ordinary-sized snakes and mosquitoes? There were also two materia in the bag, all of which had that glassy-with-gem-core look I guessed meant they were low-leveled. I pulled them out, and thought about putting them in the armlet. If this is anything like the game, they'll weaken me physically, and I'm pretty defenseless already. On the other hand, I'm not that strong to begin with, so-

Wait, right, not my body, I have no frickin' clue how strong I am, except that I'm not having issues with walking or handling things. Which is a whole can of worms on its own! How much was my mind fucked with *besides* hacking my coordination?! Aaargh!

...Fuck it, I'll ask someone what kind of these are and how to use them later. With that, I stuffed them in one of my cargo pockets and moved on to the wallet.

Apparently, whatever Random Omnipotent Being(s) decided to land me here were nice enough to land me in a person with about 458 gil to her name, was a frequent blood donor (type O-), and whose name really was Beth. Elizabeth Renault, anyway, age 26, from... Nibelheim? As in destroyed hometown of two of the party members Nibelheim!?

…..

OH YOU COCKSWADDLING, DUCK-MOLESTING, NARRATIVE-CONFLICT-MONGERING, ENTROPY-DAMNED MOTHERF-

Author's Note:

As TVTrope's article on FF7 states, Meteor's possible devastation is never quite specified. It could be " anywhere from global-scale mass-extinction to planetary destruction". Given the Lifestream's stated property of giving life to the world and everything in it, and how it can wipe out all life on the planet via Omega Weapon and leave if said planet is in danger of being destroyed (according to Dirge of Cerberus), the Lifestream leaving would be a Class 6 Apocalypse on its own.

On the other hand, in FF7 we only see the "regular" WEAPONs deployed, not Omega Weapon from Dirge of Cerberus so clearly the Lifestream doesn't think the planet would be a write-off if Meteor impacted, so no Class X (Planetary-Scale Physical Annihlation), and probably not a Class 6 of its own.

Slight revisions April 27, 2019. Nothing changing the story in any way, shape, or form, just smoothing some rough spots.