DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or Ryan Murphy. I also don't have anything to do with the Gap.

Break Me

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Spoilers for 2x12 (Silly Love Songs); this fic is AU with canon tendencies (does that make any sense? Haha!) Also, there's some strong language - beware!

"But he didn't want me, Cedes. He didn't want me."

A sad sigh resounded from the other end of the phone as Mercedes bit her lip and thought of something to say back to her upset friend. She took a deep breath, "He just doesn't deserve you, Kurt. If he can't see how amazing you are, then he doesn't need all that. You deserve better."

"But," Kurt whispered, curling his form in on itself as he cuddled farther into the couch cushions, "I want him. I want him more than I've ever wanted anyone in my life… and that's saying something, you know?"

"Oh, of course I know!" Mercedes laughed quietly. From his side of the line, Kurt could hear her rustling about, probably getting situated on her bed with a magazine of some sort. She continued, "I was there when you were swooning over Finn and Sam, remember?"

"Oh God, don't remind me. I feel bad enough about them."

"Yeah, but you got over them didn't you? You'll be over Mr. Fancy Pants soon enough and you'll meet someone else out there who will accept and love how fabulously amazing you truly are."

"I miss you so much, Mercedes," Kurt breathed. He missed her and the other New Directions girls more and more every day, especially in situations such as this one. He could use their expertise and support now more than ever. "I can't talk about this stuff with any of the guys at Dalton."

"No one?"

"Not really. Yeah, there are other gay guys there, but they're all in relationships minus me, Blaine, and a few randoms. I'm really not close to any of them… well, except for Blaine - and my heart really can't handle being around him right now."

Mercedes hummed in response, "I don't blame you, Kurt. I didn't want to be around you for a few days after-"

"After you busted out the windows of my baby! Yeah, I remember!" Kurt's voice grew higher in pitch as he leaned forward on the couch. He could hear Mercedes laughing and he chuckled a bit himself. "God, Mercedes, you have no idea how much I appreciate this right now. I needed this lady chat."

"Well, what are besties for?"

The two friends stayed on the phone for a good hour just reminiscing and talking about their awful Valentine's. Stupid Blaine had thought up some sort of horrid idea to have a Singles Awareness dinner at Breadstix on Valentine's and offered up the talent of the Warblers for the evening, meaning that Kurt had to doo wop and sway behind him all night without bursting into tears. Just the sight of Blaine made his heart ache and his stomach clench in pain from the acceptance that Blaine would never ever reciprocate his feelings.

And that shit hurt.

Luckily for him, Kurt's friends saved the day by showing up at the restaurant and rescuing him from the sorrowful looks that Blaine had been shooting him all evening.

'If Blaine is so sorry, then why didn't he just give you a chance?' Mercedes had said, glaring down the boy in question as he shot another sad look in Kurt's general direction.

Kurt had no response for that.

So he spent the evening with his girls, chatting and loading up on carb-laden pasta covered with heavy cream sauce. He didn't give two shits about the amount of calories he was consuming. He just wanted to forget, wanted to ease the searing pain that lay high in his chest and low in his belly.

Fuck you, Blaine Anderson, his mind had thought as he glared at the back of Blaine's perfectly coiffed head. I hope you realize what you're missing.

Of course, the whole badass 'I'm not hurt at all' persona that Kurt had adopted that evening came crashing and burning the very next morning when Kurt found himself crying into his pillow after he had a random nightmare involving Blaine turning him down.

He would continue having this stupid nightmare for days.

For a week, not one word was spoken between the two boys.

To be honest, Kurt's heart couldn't take it. He understood that Blaine didn't feel that way about him, but it still hurt to think about. And it especially hurt to even be within Blaine's presence just knowing that all those stolen glances and flirty duets meant absolutely nothing to the other boy.

He remembered the moments after Blaine shot him down. The two of them spent an awkward fifteen minutes of silence just sipping their coffees and avoiding eye contact. Finally, Kurt excused himself from the table and dashed out the door - he just couldn't take it any longer. As he left the Lima Bean, he heard Blaine whisper, "I'm sorry."

It took him all the strength in the world to not burst into tears until he got into his car and hid away from watchful eyes.

It also didn't help that Blaine sent him a message on Facebook with those same awful words hours later:

I'm sorry.

Oh, and:

I hope you're okay.

Kurt wasn't okay.

Unfortunately, Valentine's Day had fallen on a Monday that year, so even after the mess had passed, Kurt still had to go to school and deal with people - more importantly Blaine - until the end of the week.

He dragged himself down the halls of Dalton Academy and couldn't help feeling nauseated by the thought of even being around Blaine at all. If he had a choice, he would've laid in bed all day, mourning his non-existent love life while he listened to a playlist completely dedicated to songs about heartbreak. Instead, Carole roused him from his slumber early that morning before she headed off to work at the hospital, leaving Kurt in a daze of whether or not to just say fuck it and stay home or just go to class and deal with Blaine.

As stupid as it seemed, he chose going to school.

There was something unnerving about being stuck in his house all day with his thoughts. At least in school, Kurt could preoccupy himself with taking notes or reading chapters. But at home, he had nothing to do but lay in bed and listen to music; and then that would lead to getting sucked into his thoughts. The thoughts of: why am I not good enough for him or what made Jeremiah so special that Blaine wanted him and not me?

Thoughts like those were not good, not good at all.

Those horrid mind ramblings only led to bad things. Things that turned into Kurt nitpicking at himself in the mirror, trying to find flaws to fix about himself. Was he not skinny enough? Was he too girly looking? Was it his hair? Was it his voice? Did he need to change up his wardrobe? What was it?

And the answer was always this: You're Kurt Hummel and you're fucking fabulous; you don't need to change for anyone!

But sometimes, even fabulous people fell off the track and had a hard time getting back up.

Kurt knew that on the outside, he looked okay. To the naked eye, he looked like he normally did - well put together and precise. However, to those who knew him well enough, you could see the little flaws in his wardrobe, his hair, the way he carried himself, his facial expressions. They were all a little bit jumbled after the mishap with Blaine.

He spent the days after Valentine's ignoring Blaine. Whenever the two of them would come across each other in the hall, Kurt would jet around to the other side of the room to avoid contact with the other boy. When they were at Warblers practice, they sat on opposite sides of the room and Kurt didn't open his mouth unless it was to sing. He didn't talk, he didn't smile, he just existed.

He was hoping that his nonchalance would get him left alone by the other Warblers. He threw up an icy exterior to push the others away, but he knew there was someone out there whose gaze was fiery enough to try to melt the layer of ice away from him - and that damn person was staring at him now.

A hand landed on his shoulder as Kurt tried to exit the rehearsal hall, he flinched instantly and turned on his heel, eyes narrowing as he locked gazes with a golden eyed boy.

Blaine.

"Are you okay?" Blaine whispered, hand still perched on Kurt's shoulder. Heat traveled from the open palm through Kurt's blazer and all over his body. This was exactly not what he wanted to happen.

Fuck.

Getting over Blaine Anderson was going to be harder than he thought.

"I'm fine," he said, his voice monotone as he shrugged out of Blaine's grasp and exited the rehearsal hall.

He lied.

He wasn't fine. He was far from it.

A/N: Yay! Thank you so much for your reviews on the last chapter. I really appreciate your input! For those of you who wanted me to continue, I am definitely going to continue this as well as try to finish up Give Me Strength (and re-edit SYNMTC because it needs editing really bad - so do some of the other fics, but I'll get to those later). Also, for those of you who were wondering what route I plan on taking with this fic, I'll just say that I don't think things will be sunshine and rainbows for Kurt for a while… and you guys may hate Blaine for a little bit (or forever, depending on how mean my muses decide to be). I'm sorta pulling this fic from a really unpleasant place and it looks like I'm going to be taking my anger out on Blaine (by making him so anti-canon later on). Just a warning!

Please leave some feedback! Thanks! :]