Chapter 1

Wayne Manor; October 23th, 02:37 EST

I twist my wrists, my skin burning as the rope digs even deeper. I hiss with the pain that shoots like lightning through my arms. Blood trickles down my skin from the raw wounds the rough rope has created. I draw a shuddering breath, trying to meditate through the pain.

I have lost track of time, not knowing what day it is let alone if it's morning or night. All I know is this room and the pain that grips me. I glance down at my body, cringing at the sight of the cuts and burns…the torn clothes that can hardly be considered modest. It's the consequences of my refusal to give them what they want and I know that far more is in store for me.

I hear the sound of footsteps approaching and I refuse to give in to the apprehension building within me. I am an Amazon. It has become a mantra that I repeat in my head to remind me of where I came from and what I am born to do. I will not lose who I am in the midst of this nightmare.

My breath catches in my throat as the door unlocks, the handle clicking. The door swings open and his massive size fills the doorway like Hades himself. I scowl at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of fear or intimidation as he slowly makes his way towards me.

"How's my girl?" Ian asks, his lips curling with dark lust.

"I'm not your girl," I spit out with every bit of disdain I can muster, my gaze locked with his in defiance.

He chuckles as he closes the door behind him, pausing to lock it. "That's what I enjoy most about you, beor," he tells me as he comes to stand before me. "That fiery spirit is quite the turn on."

Even though I'm hanging a few inches off the ground, he is able to look directly into my eyes and what I find there is nothing but unadulterated evil. I had always believed that there had to be some semblance of good in everyone, but this man has just proven me very wrong. I'm beginning to think that Ian Callahan has been delivered here from the Pits of Tartarus by Hades himself.

"I'm going to enjoy every single moment I get to spend with you tonight," he says, his hand coming to rest against my left hip.

"Go to hell," I hiss, choosing my words wisely to protect my identity and therefore Bruce's.

He laughs as his hand begins to glide along my ribs, along the side of my breast and back down again. He leans in close, his lips a breath away from mine. "When I go, I'm going to make sure you come with me," he murmurs. "I'm going to keep you as my personal plaything."

He assaults me with a bruising kiss that only becomes more vicious as I struggle to break free. His hand finds my breast and squeezes hard before pinching me. I bite his lip, forcing him to release me. He grins maliciously as he glares at me, wiping the blood from his lip with the back of his hand as I struggle to catch my breath. My vision is spinning in the next heartbeat as he backhands me hard across the face, nearly snapping my neck.

My head is throbbing as blood begins to ooze from a cut on my cheek. He leans in close and slowly drags his tongue over my face to remove the blood. "You're going to pay for that," he hisses something low and dangerous. "I'm going to break you and then I'm going to slice you into little pieces."

He reaches around and grabs the back of my hair, forcing my neck back as he begins kissing down my throat to my chest. I fight him as best I can, but it's difficult with my wrists tied together and my arms strung up above my head.

His monstrous hands grab my waist as he begins kissing my breasts through my bra. His left hand releases me only to slide down to grip my thigh to keep me from kicking him any further. I can feel the tears beginning to rise to the surface, clogging my throat, but I won't allow them to fall. I won't give him the satisfaction.

Before I realize it, his hand is like a snake slithering beneath my skirt and up my thigh…

I gasp as I sit bolt upright in my bed, my heart hammering wildly against my breastbone. I can't catch my breath, my chest heaving as I gulp in as much air as I can. I'm drenched in sweat, the sheets clenched and twisted in my fists as I quickly scan my bedroom for any signs of Ian Callahan.

I find myself all alone, nothing but the sound of crickets outside my window my only company. Shafts of moonlight cut a golden path across my bed, letting me know it's still the middle of the night. Bruce is more than likely still out on patrol and won't be home for a few more hours.

As much as I long to see him, I don't want him to see me like this. I think he knows I'm having nightmares, but has thankfully not said anything about it. I know he's trying to give me some space as I struggle to deal with all of this and I appreciate it more than he can begin to imagine.

The despair I see in his eyes every time he looks at me is like a small stab to my heart. I never meant to bring him more pain in all of this, but I had to protect him and his family. I have come to care about all of them as if they were my own. I would take on all the pain in the world if I had to in order to protect him as well as them.

Drawing my legs up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them, my forehead coming to rest on top of my knees. I try to calm my still racing heart, performing some breathing exercises. I swear I can still feel that animal's fingers running over my body, touching me and violating me all over again.

Nausea churns in my gut, forcing me to leap out of bed and run for the bathroom. I quickly lose my supper, sitting back on my heels and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I close my eyes as my head tilts back, making sure there is nothing more in my stomach before getting up and washing my face and mouth.

I gaze at the image in the mirror staring back at me, taken aback by what I see. Dark shadowy circles lie beneath my eyes, my face pale and drawn. Despite Alfred's attempts to get me back to a healthy weight again as he repeatedly reminds me, I haven't really gained much of it back yet. It's hard to gain weight when I end up vomiting almost every time the memories become too much to bear.

It feels as though my body is rebelling against my mind and my determination to not let this affect me. I had once believed that I was a woman of immense strength and control, but this whole traumatic event has definitely tested every single one of my beliefs about myself.

I've been doing my best to shield my friends from as much of this as possible, trying to reassure them that I'm fine, but I know Bruce is not buying it. He is proving to be the hardest man in the entire world to deceive. It's not that I want to lie to him, but I need to put on a strong front for him and everyone else in an effort to assuage the tension and uncomfortable feelings that seem to follow me everywhere I go.

They all look at me as if I'm about to shatter into a million pieces, afraid to touch me or fearful of saying the wrong thing that will make me break down in heart-rending sobs. I think what angers me the most is the pity that fills their eyes when they look at me. I do not want anyone's pity.

I have to go on as if nothing happened for Bruce's sake as well as my friends in order to make them feel more at ease around me again, in an attempt to diffuse the pain and sorrow that everyone is feeling. I know it's only because they care, but I just need my life to get back to the way it had been before the abduction, before being violated.

Flash looks as if he's about to cry every time he looks at me, afraid to make jokes or be his usual jovial self. Kal…poor Kal. He just doesn't know what to do or say. He starts to reach out to touch me only to jerk his hand back as if burned, looking away before I can see the tears that make his eyes shine far too brightly. He is filled with such a sense of anger mingled with anguish that it's almost overwhelming.

John has been treating me like a fellow Marine who has been compromised or injured in battle. He stands almost like a silent sentinel at my side, there for me and yet afraid to offer any comfort for fear I'll break down. J'onn has offered to listen if I ever need to talk, but hasn't pressed me into it. I know he can feel my struggle, can sense my thoughts and feelings, but has thankfully given me the space I need to come to terms with it on my own and in my own time.

Bruce has been unbelievably patient and compassionate despite how deeply this has affected him as well. It almost brings tears to my eyes. He hasn't pushed me to talk about it more than I can or feel that I want to even though I have yet to tell him absolutely everything.

He has only left my side in order to go out on patrol in order to clean up the mess that Declan McCaffrey created with his Ash epidemic. He always reassures me that he'll be back as soon as he can, stopping by my bedroom when he returns to check on me before going to bed.

I wish that Bruce and I could get back to that thrilling place we were in before I was taken, the amazing feelings of nervous anticipation and teasing flirtatiousness that always comes when love first blossoms. All of that is definitely still there between us, but now there is also a dark heaviness that hangs over us…a barrier that has risen between us that neither of us talks about and I hate it.

I drop my head, splashing more water on my face before patting it dry with a towel. Leaving the bathroom, I pull my hair into a ponytail. I stare at my bed for a long moment before readily deciding I don't want to return there right now. I need an outlet for my anger and resentment.

I quickly change out of my nightgown into workout clothes before heading downstairs. I glance at the clock to find it's well after three in the morning. I make my way down into the cave, hoping to slip past J'onn who is doing monitor duty, but I know that's next to impossible.

I silently make my way past him, hoping he's too absorbed in his work to notice me, but that hope is quickly dashed. "Another nightmare?" he solemnly asks, concerned, but not wanting to prod.

"Yes," I softly reply.

"Diana, I'm here if you ever need to talk," he reminds me again.

"I know…thank you," I tell him. "I'm just going to work out for a little bit."

"I understand," he says with a nod. "Please know that we all care about you, Diana, but no one is hurting for you more than Bruce is right now."

My chin falls to my chest in guilt, knowing that I need to open up more to him than I have. He's been so patient, so gentle that it only makes me fall that much more for him. I know that what I feel for him has to be love, but I'm scared to call it that just yet. I don't want to dwell on the reasons why I shouldn't right now. I just want to enjoy this amazing experience of falling and knowing that he feels the same way about me even though the words have not been spoken yet.

My mother would be ashamed with how I've been struggling to deal with all of this over the last two weeks, but she'd no doubt be furious to learn that I've fallen for a man. He's not just any man, though. He's a mortal man who possesses no special abilities in her eyes, but I know he's extraordinary in every way imaginable.

"I know, J'onn," I murmur. "I'm afraid of what all of this is going to do to what has been steadily growing between us over the last six months."

The corners of his lips curl slightly as he gazes at me. "I would not worry about that, Diana. Trust your heart and everything will work out."

"Thank you, J'onn," I tell him before turning to make my way to the training room.

I quickly take on the punching bag, pouring all of my anger and resentment and hatred into it. I never got the chance to take down Callahan or McCaffrey and it only manages to make my anger burn that much hotter. I know in my heart that it's not Bruce's fault for handling them. It had to be handled the way that it was in order to protect our secret identities, but the Amazon warrior in me still thirsts for the revenge that I was denied.

Sweat trickles down my back and my neck as I continue to pound my fists into the defenseless bag, noticing how my strength is finally returning in full. It took time after being suppressed for so long, but I'm finally me again physically. Now if I can only find myself emotionally and mentally. I have a feeling that could take a lot longer.

I barely notice how much time has passed until I feel the presence of someone behind me. Breathing heavily, I turn around to find Bruce standing there leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his chest. He's dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair still wet from his shower. I find my heart is racing for a different reason now.

Hera, he's so very handsome and the things that fill my mind when I look at him are enough to make my cheeks grow warm.

"How was patrol?" I sheepishly ask him, averting my eyes as I grab a towel to wipe my face.

"Quiet for the most part," he replies, his expression grim with worry. "We were able to shut down another Ash processing house."

"That's a relief," I agree. "I'll be so happy when we won't have to worry about it anymore."

Bruce continues to watch my every move and I know that he's not going to let the fact go that I'm up at…four thirty already? "You should try to get some sleep," he gently tells me. "You've got a big day starting in a few hours."

I force a smile to my face as I close the distance between us. "I hope I do a good job," I say, releasing a sigh.

"You will be fabulous," he reassures me. "There is no other person that I would want to take over Ariel's position at Wayne Enterprises than you. I know you'll clean up the mess she made of the charities department."

"I just still can't believe that she stole all that money that was designated for charitable donations."

"I know," he agrees as we exit the training room together, his anger almost palpable. "It was definitely a shock, but I think it'll be a good fit for you as long as you're sure you're ready to return to work. You know you can take as long as you need, Diana."

"I know, but I want to get back to work, Bruce," I maintain with a frown as I pitch my towel in the laundry bin. "It's been too long and I need life to get back to normal again."

Bruce turns to look at me, his expression still filled with uncertainty. "Okay," he relents, "as long as you promise to be my date for lunch tomorrow."

A genuine smile reaches my lips as I hook a damp lock of hair behind my ear. "I promise," I tell him. "Good night."

"Good night, Princess," he says.

I can feel his eyes on me as I make my way to the steps that will take me up into the manor. I swear I can feel his worry against my skin as I ascend the stairs, trying to burn away the layers to see what is really going on inside of me. I need to do a better job of reassuring him and relieving his worry or we'll never get past this.

PRESENT DAY

Wayne Enterprises; April4th, 12:26 EST

Sitting at my desk, I frown as I stare at the countless stacks of files that still need to be reviewed. Even though I've been the director of charitable funding for Wayne Enterprises for almost six months now, there continues to be a pile of work that never seems to end. It's been a very slow, tedious process, one that has required a lot attention and a great deal of patience.

So far, I have uncovered far more illegal activity that Ariel Nelson had been doing under Bruce's nose than either of us had been aware of. I've waded through a seemingly infinite amount of files, financial documents and spreadsheets in an effort to grasp some sort of hold of this mess that Ariel has created.

The problem is that Ariel was good…very good. She was smart and devious. If Bruce hadn't been searching for me, he might never have known or discovered what Ariel had been doing. She covered and recovered her tracks very well; burying her thievery in fake charities and false accounts…people who didn't even exist.

It makes me sick the amount of money that she had stolen from people who needed it, the homeless and the orphans, the veterans and the destitute. If she wasn't already dead, I'd beat her myself. Originally, we had believed Ariel stole around four and a half million dollars over a year's time. Now, with what I've been able to uncover, she's stolen closer to ten million dollars so far.

I feel ill the more I uncover, knowing that I'll have to tell Bruce that I just discovered another false charity, another two million dollars rerouted to her bank account in the Caribbean. He will take this personally, feeling as though he should have known…should have been able to stop her, but it's not his fault. He couldn't possibly see into the hearts and minds of every person he meets, but trying to convince him of that is next to impossible.

I pause to take a drink of my coffee, wrinkling my nose to find it is already cold. I get so lost in my work sometimes, I have no idea how much time has actually passed. I sit back in my chair with a sigh, tossing my pen on top of my paperwork as I turn to glance out my office window.

I honestly don't know what I would have done without this job. I probably would've gone crazy by now without something to keep me occupied, an enormous task to undertake in order to keep my mind off the memories that continue to haunt me even now.

They're like invisible spirits living in my mind, appearing out of nowhere to taunt me and tell me that I'm broken. Even six months later, the images and memories, the smells and sensations are just as real and vibrant as if it were happening to me all over again. It makes me wonder when it will all end…when it will start to fade away.

I can't stop the shudder that roils through me even now as I swear there are unseen fingers roaming over my body. I rub my arms in an effort to ward off the unsettling feeling, closing my eyes to run through another meditation technique in an effort to quiet the turbulence I feel mounting inside of me.

I wonder how much longer this is going to go on, how much longer I'm going to have to wrestle with these demons residing in my soul. I've prayed and asked my goddesses for guidance, but those petitions have gone unanswered. I feel my anger towards them growing once more, wondering why they have abandoned me.

I close my eyes and allow my mind to wander back to a childhood memory. I hadn't been more than five years old when I had fallen down some steps in the royal palace. My mother had come running with the sound of my cries, her face tender, but her voice stern as she picked me up.

"No tears, my sun and stars," my mother says as she sits down on a step next to me, using the edge of her robe to dry the tears on my cheeks.

"But it hurts, mommy," I whimper, holding my knee that is bleeding as the tears continue to fall.

"I know it does," she soothingly tells me, "but you must never let anyone see your pain. You are my daughter. You're a princess and need to be strong no matter what."

"Yes, mommy," I say as I fight back the tears.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I tighten my hold as memories of my argument with Bruce the night before last replaces the memory of my mother. The rage still simmers there inside of me, swarming like a caged beast seeking escape. I didn't sleep at all that night, spending the hours of darkness alone in my room pacing and thinking and fuming.

Bruce had no right kicking me off the case like that. He doesn't understand how I need to be a part of it, had to be involved in the search for these missing girls. I didn't have to imagine what these young women were going through right now. I knew all too well what was probably happening to them and it made me ill to my core.

I hadn't seen him at all yesterday or this morning. I had chosen to go into work early both mornings in order to avoid seeing him at breakfast, but I know that I can't avoid him forever. Despite being absolutely furious with him, I love him deeply, far more than I have ever felt for anyone.

We work so flawlessly together, complimenting each other in every way. I know that I can help him solve this case if he'd just let me out of that damn cave of his that was becoming a prison. I'd considered sneaking out and doing my own investigation as Nemesis, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. I don't want to deceive him like that.

Now, I may have no choice.

I have to help find these women. It's the resolution that I need, the light at the end of a dark, bleak tunnel that I've been trying so hard to fight my way through. I need to know that what I went through wasn't for nothing. I need to know that it was a horrible experience that I can use to help other women in similar situations. I just need to somehow make Bruce see that as well.

I scratch at my arms once more as memories of hands rubbing over my body flash through my mind, trying to erase the horrifying sensations that slither through me. I swallow back the accompanying nausea as I squeeze my eyes closed and force myself to find even a flicker of the peace that has eluded me for months now.

I slowly draw a deep breath, releasing it through my parted lips. As I inhale once more, I catch the masculine scent that makes my insides quiver with desire. I instantly grow tense, our argument from the night before last reigniting my indignation and anger all over again.

I immediately open my eyes and sit forward, my attention falling to my stack of work. I can feel his gaze locked on me, waiting for me to acknowledge him. He knows that I rival him in obstinacy. He's going to have to make the first move.

He closes my office door without speaking a word before moving to sit in the chair in front of my desk. I can see him cross his right leg over his left, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he appears to settle in for the long wait. I can't help the curiosity he has piqued along with my anger. I hope that he has come to apologize, telling me that he's changed his mind about the decisions he has made without my say, but I know better than that.

"What do you want?" I finally ask against my better judgment, my anger right there for him to feel.

"I wanted to see how you were doing," he tells me.

His anger from the other night is gone, but mine has not cooled in the least. "You've seen me now so you can leave," I reply as I flip through a file, refusing to make eye contact.

He sits there for several long moments, waiting with a patience that is uncharacteristic for him. I try to continue my work, but he's making it near impossible. I'm not ready to admit that he might be right and I'm definitely not ready to talk about what happened to me even with him. If anyone deserves to know, it's Bruce, but I'm just not there yet. Besides, I'm an Amazon. We bury our emotional pain not wear it like a badge.

I know if I don't come to terms with all of this soon, he's going to push to have the Founders put me on leave until I do. The others will no doubt follow his lead like blind mice following the piped piper because they won't stand up to him. Not even Kal would back me on this vote. The thought of it makes my anger scorch my veins. Bruce has no right, not after everything that I went through for him.

The worst part is that deep down a small piece of me knows that he's right. Damn him. I refuse to give in, though. I can get through this myself. I don't need anyone's help.

"What do you want, Bruce?" I bite out, finally lifting my eyes to glare at him.

He looks back at me with nothing but compassion and understanding in those azure eyes and I feel a slight wavering in my anger, but I'm resolute in my decision to stay mad at him. He's wrong about everything. "I want to take my girlfriend out for lunch," he reveals, refusing to back down in the face of my anger with him.

Most people run away scared when I'm this angry, but not Bruce. Never him. He has been one of the very few who stands up to me regardless of the fact that I'm an Amazon who could break his neck with my thumb and forefinger alone. Even when he's the source of my fury, he's never backed away.

I stare at him, incredulous to his offer. "Are you serious?"

"I've very serious," he confirms, his tone hopeful.

"After what you did to me the other night, you still want to go out as if nothing happened?" I practically hiss.

Bruce stares at me calmly, his expression full of concern, but his heartache is shining brightly in his eyes. "Diana, I meant what I said," he confirms. "I care about you too much to sit back and watch you continue to hurt yourself or throw yourself into dangerous situations without backup."

"I haven't been doing anything except for my job," I insist. "Any one of you would have done the same thing against that maniac."

He releases a sigh as he uncrosses his leg and sits forward in his chair. "You needlessly threw yourself into a very dangerous situation that we had full control of. You continually take senseless risks with your life on missions. I won't watch you try to kill yourself because you refuse to deal with what happened to you."

"I'm not trying to kill myself," I claim, his assumption ludicrous.

"I didn't come here to argue with you," he replies. "My decision still stands, Diana. I'm very worried about you. Instead of getting better, you're getting worse. This case in Gotham has been affecting you more than you realize."

"It's affecting you too," I counter.

"Yes, it is, but I didn't go through the horrifying things that you did," he reminds me.

"I need to help you find those girls, Bruce," I argue with him.

"No, you don't need this right now," he maintains. "Your nightmares are increasing; you're scratching your skin raw. You hardly eat anything and you refuse to talk about what you went through with anyone. I'm terrified of what could happen to you if you don't deal with this soon."

"You don't understand," I spit the words out like a viper.

"No, I don't understand because you refuse to talk to me," he heatedly replies with the first spark of frustrated anger that he has let slip since entering my office. His eyes blaze with a fire that quickly turns into a pleading ache that stabs at my insides. "Please, Diana. I'm asking you to talk to someone. If you feel that you can't talk to me…please talk to someone. You can't keep carrying all of this inside of you. It's eating you alive. I know that feeling far better than you think."

Bruce's plea manages to cut through a measure of my resentment and ire, forcing me to acknowledge that he is right though I refuse to give voice to it. He rarely if ever says please and the fact that he said it twice to me, practically pleading with me, does not go unnoticed. I know he's hurt that I won't talk to him about it, but it's not because of him or that I don't love him. It's me and my foolish fears, the way that I was trained to deal with things like this.

"Talking about it isn't going to change anything, Bruce," I snap. "It won't change anything that happened."

"I know it won't change what happened, but you have to get it out," he tells me, refusing to back down on this. "I'm not the only one who's worried sick about you. Alfred…the Founders, Dick, Barbara, and Tim…they're all worried about you."

I cock an eyebrow, my jaw clenching with renewed anger. "You've all been talking about me behind my back?"

"We care about you, Diana," he states, unapologetic about it. "I've already spoken to Clark and he supports me on placing you on leave until you get the help you need."

I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms against my chest in an effort to hold myself together. My heart is beginning to pound a little harder with the waves of fury thrumming through me. How dare they go behind my back and make decisions about my life without my input.

I look away from him, refusing to meet his piercing gaze. "You have no right to do this to me," I hiss.

He stands from his chair, moving around to the other side of my desk. He crouches beside my chair, gently pulling my hand free to hold it in his. "I know what it's like to be consumed by the darkness, the bitterness and rage," he tells me. "I've lived it for more years than I care to think about, believing that I'd never find happiness again, but you saved me, Diana. You showed me there can be hope and light in my life without sacrificing my mission. You've given me back faith that I lost years ago.

"I refuse to let the same thing happen to you now. You mean far too much to me, Princess. I'm going to fight for you whether you like or not, whether you want me to or not…whether you'll still want me in your life in the end or not. It's because I love you that much that I'm willing to risk your hatred of me."

I watch as he brings my hand to his lips, kissing the back of it with such tenderness. He releases my hand, refusing to push me any further than he already has. "Maybe we can have lunch together tomorrow," he suggests before standing to his feet and making his way to my office door.

He opens it, pausing to give me a small smile despite the sadness that permeates his eyes before leaving me all alone again to think about what he has said. I draw a shuddering breath as I turn my chair to look out my office window again.

A/N: Diana is struggling right now, but I promise she'll find a way through this! I promise Bruce and Diana will eventually be all right! Not all of this fic is going to be dark and depressing. There are some really cute BMWW moments scattered throughout it so hang with me! :)

Also, for those of you concerned, Diana is not self-mutilating. More about this will come out later!

UP NEXT: Diana returns to work at Wayne Enterprises in the past and Bruce and Diana have a confrontation.