A/N- So I'm posting the second chapter pretty quickly because I was curious how you all would feel about this chapter. I really do frigging love this story! It makes me so sad yet so happy at the same time. Funny story, My best friend discovered that I was writing a KakaNaru fic and called me disgusting because Kakashi basically raised Naruto. However, when I mentioned her love for Twilight and the same principle applying to Jacob being paired with Bella's baby from birth...well, needless to say, she was not very happy with me. In all honesty, Kakashi became a huge part of Naruto's life but was not always as prevalent. Anyway, if you're weirded out by any of it please leave and keep any/all nasty comments to yourself. If you love KakaNaru as much as me then please, enjoy!
Naruto's POV
Kakashi fell back into what one could describe as a mini in ground pool, more like the baths you'd see at bath houses. His whole body sank into the waters depths. I stepped down into the bath expecting to drop at least to my waist but found that the tub had a bench that wrapped around the entire circumference. I was stepping down again when Kakashi popped up out of the water, spluttering. He quickly wiped the water out of his eyes and had time to flash a look of absolute surprise at me before I hit him again, knocking him back this time on his ass so that he now sat on the bench. I was on him before he could move, shoving him back by a hand on his throat until the back of his head was pressed to the flat of the marble. He was breathing heavily but I was surprised to find that he made no move to defend himself. Not one, almost like he had been expecting my reaction. I kneeled one knee on the bench between his legs so I could growl in his face.
"You kissed me. Again." I felt the muscles of his throat work beneath my hand as he swallowed but he otherwise remained motionless, staring at me. His silver hair was plastered over the left side of his face completely covering his sharingan eye. I don't know why but it really bothered me that I couldn't see his entire face now that it was there for the looking. He watched as I lifted my other hand to swipe his hair away. I had a moment where I could do nothing but simply stare at him.
His face was more beautiful than anything I could have conjured up. His jaw was a delicate triangle that seemed almost feminine, though some strong line in it's structure that I couldn't quite pinpoint kept it solidly on the masculine side of the spectrum. His lips were a slightly wide and lush pout, the bottom lip protruding just a hint more so that it seemed to beg to be nipped and sucked at. I blinked at the odd thought and frowned as I continued to survey him. I found myself thoroughly distracted by his mouth as the ripe pink of it forced a certain fixation on the soft sensuality of them among the sharpness of the rest of his features. He was so pale. So very very pale. The dark depth of his right eye seemed to reflect back more color than any black I had ever seen, as if there was multicolored lights in the room, and the red of his sharingan definitely defined his eyes and mouth as the most distracting of his features; a riot of color among the white of snow and silver of the moon. I found myself wanting to run my lips along his jaw, to kiss my way to those so soft and talented lips and- I shoved myself away from him with a violent head shake. What had he done to me? He slowly sat up and watched me as if waiting for my reaction, any reaction, and he'd accept whatever it was.
"You disgust me." I snarled at him. "You are not half the man that the pervy sage was so why is he gone and I am left with you?!" The last came out in a shout. "At least Jiraiya didn't act on his perverted nature!" I was screaming and even though I felt in my gut that I was lying to myself I couldn't stop. Of course the old perve had acted on his nature. I had spent countless hours training by myself while he indulged in carnal pleasures with slews of women as "research" for his books. Kakashi's gaze never wavered from me even as they flinched at my words. He sat in silence. "Why do you just sit there? Yell!" I lunged at him and shook him by the shoulders. "Scream at me!" I yelled into his face from inches away, my voice cracking. He simply stared up at me with a small smile on that beautiful mouth. "Why?!" I screamed around the first hot tears squeezed out by the pain, anger and disbelief pounding through my body. "Why do you smile at me?! How can you smile?!" I slapped a hand over my mouth as what sounded suspiciously like a sob crept up my throat. His arms wrapped slowly around my waist, pulling me against his chest and it was then that I realized I was straddling his hips. I slapped at him and pulled his hair in an attempt to get free.
"Let me go! Let me go! LET ME GO!" I pounded on his shoulders, clawed at the skin of his arms as I tried to get him to release me. "Let me go!" I screamed again and again and in each shout I heard my pain and misery grow thicker and thicker until I fell limp against him, panting and quietly crying, forcefully holding back the hellfire of my emotions that burned my chest, throat and eyes. I heard Kakashi speaking softly to me but couldn't hear the words. I forced myself to listen.
"It's okay, Naruto. Let go. I'll be your rock while your world falls apart." He had clearly been muttering things of this nature for a while because he just kept speaking such things. "Use me. I'm here for you. Use me." Those were the words that broke the dam. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in the bare skin of his neck while the weight of the loss of my master overwhelmed me and I finally wept as I hadn't wept in years. I had promised myself I would no longer cry and yet here I was, in my sensei's arms, crying over the loss of my master, my treasured friend and confidant. I don't know how long Kakashi held me but when I could cry no more I heard him softly humming an old Konoha lullaby that I'd heard only through the wall of my apartment as the woman next door lulled her newborn to sleep. It was the most soothing thing anyone had ever done for me, coupled with the slow rhythm of his hands up and down my back it was damn near hypnotic.
"Naruto?"
"Mmmm?" I hummed.
"Can I take this off of you?" He tugged on my jumpsuit. I smiled slightly against his neck.
"Trying to get me out of my clothes, huh?" I chuckled softly. "You perve." His laugh was so soft that if I hadn't been so close I never would have heard it.
"I was actually hoping that we could get cleaned up before the water gets cold." Colder. He meant colder. The water was already kind of chilly. I didn't answer but Kakashi moved anyway. I stayed limp in his arms as he turned us so that I was sitting where he'd been and peeled his body away from mine. I instantly wanted to wrap myself back around him but resisted the urge in favor of allowing him to strip me. Kakashi's hands moved deftly over me and in a matter of thirty seconds I was down to nothing but my boxers. I stared at him and he met my eyes with a raised eyebrow as if silently asking if I wanted to take them off or should he? I made no move to do it myself, rather enjoying the older man stripping me. He slid his thumbs beneath the waistband so that for a moment his long fingers caressed my hips before he deftly swept the cloth down my thighs, being careful to keep it under the water so that it didn't catch on tacky skin. I was suddenly sitting naked before him as he chucked my underwear over his shoulder to land on the floor with a wet plop. A flush crept up Kakashi's face that made me wonder what he was thinking.
"Pardon me." He turned and stood walking to the other side of the tub. I watched the water roll down the incredible paleness of his waist and ass, finding myself thinking that it was a great behind, perfectly round. I could imagine sinking teeth into the supple flesh. The thought startled me. Then he knelt on the bench with one knee and bent over at the waist, stretching over until his chest was nearly pressed into the floor so that he could grab a tray of soaps and slide it forward. I hissed quietly at the sight of him bent over and was suddenly very, very hot. Kakashi was careful to sink back into the water before turning back around.
"Soaps?" He asked with a gesture toward the tray he'd retrieved. I have no idea what was wrong with me but it was as if my body were moving on it's own.
I stood and walked over to the older man who was still sitting on the bench. I watched his eyes widen as they darted over my body, trying to follow the water trailing down my chest and stomach. The water stopped just below my belly button so my private bits were covered, but I knew if Kakashi were to stand his wouldn't be. I reached my hands out to him, wrapping my fingers around his waist to pull him forward so that he either had to crouch or stand in the water. He chose to crouch, swallowing hard enough that I heard it. I used my grip on his waist to steady myself as I let my legs go out from under me. I submerged myself in the water and was tempted to open my eyes to see all of Kakashi. My hands slid from his waist to his thighs, telling me that my sensei was standing now. I smiled and gripped one hand tight on his thigh while using the other to run through my hair until I no longer felt residue of my time in the mud. I slowly came up out of the water, opening my eyes to see Kakashi in a whole new angle. He was well endowed, blessed with a girth that made his length all the more impressive. I lingered on the erection he was sporting for a moment before I continued to rise out of the water, moving towards him as I did. His cheeks were pink with what I could only assume was embarrassment which I found totally adorable. I felt his cock brush against my thigh as I leaned into him, forcing him to retreat or press our nakedness together. He fell back on the bench, watching me as my chest pushed close to his face, the tip of my cock brushing him, until I had the bottle of soap in my hand. I retreated and was oddly delighted to find his eyes filled with that darkness I'd seen in the eyes of the only lover I had taken. His lips were half-parted and he was breathing heavily. I grinned as I gave him my back while I washed myself. The rest of the bath was uneventful until I heard the splash of him getting out. I turned my head until I could see that luscious ass walk naked and dripping wet across the room. My cock, which had remained hard, twitched as I watched him, licking my lips. He wrapped the towel around his waist quickly and I averted my eyes just before he turned to call over his shoulder.
"I'm going to make some tea and sandwiches. Meet me in the kitchen when you're done." He left the bathroom door open behind him as if implying he knew I shouldn't be too much longer.
I looked down at the wood I was sporting and was so confused I almost laughed. What the hell was I going to do about this? And why was I so...attracted to my sensei all of a sudden? Grief. Yeah! That was it. Grief made for strange bed-fellows. That was all. I had no clothes so I couldn't just walk around with only a towel to hide the boner. I had to get rid of it and only knew one way. I gripped my cock tight and hissed as the pleasure of it made me have to lean forward, using the edge of the tub for support as I stroked myself with shallow motions. The memory of Kakashi's mouth on mine drew a low moan from me, my head going back, spine bowing slightly. His arm was tight around my waist holding me against him, hand firm on the back of my neck, sliding into the tangle of my hair. I felt the electric thrill that went through me when he'd nipped my bottom lip as if the man were right in front of me. His tongue slipped in my mouth and I shivered, the proximity of the impending orgasm making me weak. I flashed to the amazing view of him that I'd had as he'd come out of the water, large cock standing stiffly out from his body. I nearly bit my lip off trying to stay quiet as my orgasm rocked through me. I collapsed to my knees on the bench, holding myself up on shaking arms.
"Shit." I breathed. It was several more minutes before I hauled myself out of the tub.
I dried off quickly, wrapping a towel around my waist as I padded down the six stairs to the first floor and into the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway. The fine muscles in his back rolled slightly under the snow of Kakashi's skin as he moved around in front of the counter. I let my eyes travel over the fine details of him. He had thrown on a pair of deep blue pajama pants that clung low enough on his hips that I could see the slope of his back muscles into those of his ass. I had the urge to go up behind him and press myself against all that muscle. To wrap my arms around him and-...I shook my head viciously to clear it of the image. What was wrong with me? I suddenly heard a vague echo of Kakashi's voice begging me to stop because he didn't want to have to hurt me. I felt the skin of his throat beneath my hand, ripping his mask away to reveal the brilliant red-purple of his face. I saw his eyes roll back into his head and then I watched him lift his arm and drop his one defense. I was suddenly back in the doorway of his kitchen listening to the soft hum of Kakashi and the click of a knife on a cutting board. My vision blurred as I stared at him in shock. I had never remembered anything from when the fox came out to play. Why now? Was it- was it...him? I moved without letting myself think, simply allowing instinct to take over. I rounded the island and did exactly what I had imagined doing.
Kakashi gasped softly as I pressed the full length of my body against the back of his, wrapping my arms around his waist and nuzzling my face in the still damp hair at the base of his neck. His body was completely still against mine as if he didn't know what to do. I ignored his lack of reaction and simply allowed myself to enjoy the moment in case he had changed his mind about what I had felt in his kiss earlier, but after a few minutes like that I simply couldn't. I pressed my forehead to his skin and closed my eyes, scared that he had retreated and he'd tell me this was wrong. My breath was warm as it came back to me carrying his soft, slightly herbal scent.
"Please...Kakashi." My lips fluttered softly against his skin as I spoke, tickling a little. "Hold me." I whispered. He remained still and my heart began to sink, and then he moved, running his hands down my forearms around his waist until he used a grip on my wrists to pull my arms tighter around him. I felt how incredibly soft his skin was and sighed, turning my head to rest my cheek in that dip at the top of his shoulder blades. I smiled to myself as I felt the goosebumps I had given him. He must be incredibly sensitive. I relished the feeling of being pressed against him, of being held and of holding him. No one had ever touched me as much as Kakashi had tonight or...ever really. Even while training or after battle he was the only one I could always count on to help me, to carry me when I couldn't carry myself.
"I-" Kakashi stopped and cleared his throat, "I cut up some vegetables and made some sandwiches and tea if you're hungry." I didn't want to let him go.
"Nah. I think-" Just then my stomach growled so loud that it triggered a cramp that forced a small gasp from me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight until the pain passed. I had always hated stomach pains the most. Kakashi tapped my arms and rubbed his hands up and down them quickly.
"Come on." He said with a soft chuckle, "Let's eat." I knew he wanted me to let him go but I didn't want to. I squeezed him just the tiniest bit more but he didn't miss it. His hand squeezed my arm comfortingly.
"Ease up a little, Naruto." I let my arms simply fall free of him to swing at my sides and was turning away to go sit at the table when his hands cupped both sides of my face, tipping my head up. My heart was suddenly racing as I anticipated another kiss but then I frowned deeply. He had once again donned his mask. Something about that hurt me. I don't know why. His eyes were crinkled softly at the corners so that I knew he was smiling and then I noticed that his sharingan was still uncovered, which made me smile softly in return. He bent his head and I thought for sure he was going to kiss me but instead he passed so close by my lips that I felt his mask brush my mouth before he placed a very chaste but lingering kiss on my cheek.
"You really do need to start taking better care of yourself." He chided softly next to my ear. I nodded too much and too fast because, Kami help me, if I had anything to say about it I'd start my journey of self-recovery by claiming the man in front of me any way I could. He turned away and I quickly sat at the table. The first plate he plunked down was piled high with sandwiches, at least twenty of them. I licked my lips as I eyes the different varieties, grabbing one for each hand and shoving them in my mouth as fast as I could. My stomach screamed at me for food, faster, more! I couldn't shove it in fast enough. I stopped when I felt him staring at me, turning my head slowly to find him holding a plate in both hands. As far as I could tell he wasn't even breathing. I forced myself to sit back on my haunches and quit hovering over the table like the ravenous animal I felt like, barely constraining myself from devouring all the sandwiches, and possibly the plate too. Kakashi laughed and continued over, plunking a plate of vegetables followed by one of dessert rolls in front of me, not in the center like he had with the sandwiches, which he reached over and slid towards me as well.
"Eat, Naruto. I won't stop you. Take your fill. I can always make more." My eyes actually teared up in gratitude as I began stuffing food down my throat. I was horribly embarrassed by my actions and I think Kakashi knew it because he busied himself with something at the counter for a while, long enough that I was able to slake my hunger enough so that when he sat on the opposite side of the table I could behave like a human again. I wiped at my mouth and grinned at him before throwing back my entire cup of tea. He laughed and shook his head as he noted that all the sandwiches and a third of the vegetables were almost gone. He had made what appeared to be a sushi wrap for himself.
"How do you eat so much? I never understand where you put it all." He took up his wrap before hesitating for a moment. I watched him internally debate with himself and then he slipped his mask down his face and without pause took a bite so large that I thought he may have simply stuffed the thing straight down his throat. My mouth was hanging open, eyes wide when he looked over to me. He coughed around his mouthful of food, pounding a fist on his chest, a muffled laugh sounding. When he swallowed he laughed loudly, having to put his wrap down so as not to drop it.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I tried to speak several times but all that came out was broken syllables until I finally found my voice.
"I may eat a lot but that was the biggest damn bite I have ever seen anyone take...ever!" I blurted. "And I've spent a lot of time around food!" Kakashi raised an eyebrow, smirking at me.
"How else do you think I always eat my food so fast?" I thought about it and he chuckled softly. "I have my mask but what is your excuse." I shrugged.
"I have a demon inside me. You really don't want to see him mad so..." Kakashi's eyes were wide as I finished speaking, "Gotta feed the beast, ya know?"
"I guess I never thought of it like that." I shrugged.
"People in general don't really think about me. Don't take it personal." I began stuffing raw vegetables in my mouth making small mmmmm noises. Kakashi was looking at me with a small furrow in his brow that I didn't like. I loudly crunched on a carrot and looked away from his knowing eyes to analyze the dessert rolls. The silence between us was growing thick as if Kakashi didn't quite know what to say and I couldn't stand the look in his eyes so I blurted the first thing that came to mind.
"At least I have a legitimate explanation for my eating habits. What's up with the mask anyway? What do you have to hide?" I knew instantly that I'd said the wrong thing. His face never changed but the muscles in his body visibly tensed and if I'd been uncomfortable being the object of his sympathy I was even more uncomfortable with the complete absence of emotion. It was as if everything that made the man who he was could be turned off with the flick of a switch. His eyes were like a dead weight against me and I stifled a shudder. I shoved another carrot into my mouth.
"You know, if you're going to give me the silent treatment the least you could do is entertain me and deep throat your wrap again." Shock flashed across his face and the tension in my shoulders that I hadn't realized was there was suddenly gone on a wave of relief. He offered me a small smile before picking up his wrap. I looked down to pick the roll I wanted to eat the most and when I looked up Kakashi had maybe a bite left of his wrap and was refilling my cup as he chewed. I stared in amazement. I had never seen Kakashi chew before. There was certainly a lot of firsts tonight. I closed my eyes and chuckled to myself, shaking my head softly and when I opened my eyes again Kakashi was finished eating and his mask was back in place. I ignored the whole mask thing and finished eating. Kakashi waited while I ate but I had to fill the silence with meaningless chatter because my sensei had gone mute on me. He nodded every now and again, making polite noises here and there and I hated it. It took everything I had to not ask him what his fucking problem was, but I didn't.
When I finished eating he stood and collected the dishes, taking them to the sink without a word. I sat there watching the small movements of his back as he washed the few plates, allowing myself to simmer with rage at the vibrant red and purple mark of my fangs against the history of countless battles written in the scars across his pale flesh. I promised myself I would never hurt Kakashi again, that I would make up for all the things I had done to him and all the shit I'd put him through. Kakashi shut the water off and spun around, suddenly moving towards me until he came to an abrupt stop and dropped into a crouch right next to me. His eyes were intense as they landed on mine and I knew he was about to say something that I might not like.
"It was my father. After what he did everyone looked at me differently, so I found a way to hide my rage. That's why I can't stand the way they look at you, Naruto. I understand what it is like to be hated for what you cannot control." His words were low and deep with sincerity and I was left staring up at him with wide eyes as he stood smoothly, holding my gaze for a moment more before he began walking out of the kitchen. "Come on. I'll show you where you can sleep." I stood numbly and stumbled before following him. He had never broken eye contact during his confession as if he had been trying to tell me more with his eyes than he'd dared venture with words. I collided into his back when he came to a sudden stop, not realizing we had already traversed the stairs to get here. He ignored my clumsiness and slid open the wood panel door revealing a furnished but otherwise spartan room.
"It's yours for as long as you want it." Without another word he strutted down the hallway and right before vanishing behind another door that I assume was his bedroom he called over his shoulder, "Goodnight, Naruto." His door slid closed before I could reply.
"Goodnight...Kakashi." I mumbled to the empty hallway.