Notes: I was hit with an urge to add to this, so here's another chapter.

For a man that the world seemed to conspire against his whole life, he was lucky. Or course, lucky in the lightest sense of the word. Given everything that they'd faced, and still came out alive they were lucky. But the victories were always pyrrhic, because they lost so much along the way.

He hated it when the thoughts and doubt crossed his mind. All the people...it made him falter and doubt himself to why he was alive when so many before him had fallen. It was surreal, given the pain and destruction he'd caused. Antonia was correct about that, unfortunately so. Blinking harshly a few times, he tried to calm his emotions, but he'd been keyed up for months now. It was hard not to be anxious when something with a power greater than God was after your head. But, it was his fault after all, so the feelings were justified. Why should he be happy when he had cause so much pain? And Chuck telling him he was pure? He could have scoffed, but everything had happened so fast. Him, pure? No, that just couldn't be true. He was destined for evil the moment he was born, destined to be The Boy King, Lucifer's holy vessel; a pawn that the darkness of the Earth could control at their whim. His whole body was dirty and the demon blood didn't have anything to do with it. He'd always been different from Dean and John, the choices he made...some of them were so discrepant from how he knew his brother and father would have acted. Maybe it had come from his Mom's side. As much as he wished he could believe Chuck, there was a part of him that knew he would never be cleansed.

"Sam," a deep voiced echoed from his left, and gathering his attention from the loud thoughts. "I...wish to apologize."

The pair stopped walking, the coolness of the forest air surrounded them.

"Cas?" He questioned.

The angel fidgeted and rolled his shoulders, "I'm sorry for allowing Lucifer to use me as a vessel. I was under the impression that he would be able to get rid of Amara and I'm sorry."

"It's alright Cas, I know you thought you were doing the right thing. He tried to make me do the same thing, but I...I couldn't ever be his again."

A sigh was let out into the night, "I know Sam, but I'm sorry because I know what he did to you and how blasphemous it was, how you felt about him. I should never have let my brother possess me. It wasn't fair to you. It surprised me how long you were able to tolerate him in your presence."

Sam had almost flinched at his companions words, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. Cas knew, of course he did. "That's why I couldn't handle knowing that Gadreel had been in me, without my consent. Using me for his own purposes. I was so angry at Dean, I can't loose control like that anymore, I can't because It's so much like being possessed by Lucifer, Meg...how I acted when I was drinking demon blood."

A hand was gently placed onto his shoulder, and he was aware of his now damp eyes.

"You have been atoned for all that Sam, you are not the same man since I first met you. You are no longer the boy with the demon blood in him or the 'abomination' and I'm sorry that I was ever so harsh to you. Heaven's influence on you was not your choice, Lucifer and Gadreel were not your choice Sam. It is hard not to feel violated by the angels that you always prayed to and believed in. You were under the assumption that we were there to protect you, and they never should have taken advantage of that. I shouldn't have. You are one of my best friends now, and you deserve to be happy."

The angel smiled, his blue eyes gleaming in the darkness. The man in front of him took a deep breath, as tears cascaded down his cheeks.

"Thank you Castiel."

"You never have to thank me Sam, that is what friends are for, is it not?"

The younger man smiled thinly and wiped away the wetness from his face. "Yeah I guess you're right. " Cas squeezed his shoulder gently before letting go.

"I think you should talk to Dean about all these pent up thoughts Sam. They are not a good look on you, and are causing you distress."

They continued walking through the woods, following the path that looked suspiciously new. "I suppose now that things have finally settled down, I could do that. I just feel like it's a little late now."

"I'm sure Dean will not mind, you are his brother after all."

Sam shook his head, about to comment, but the sound of voices up ahead caused him to pause. "That must be Dean, come on!" he said excitedly and started to run down the dim path.

Castiel stood in place for a moment, glanced up at the sky and hoped that he would be able to help the brothers reconnect once more.

"Coming!" He yelled, and jogged to catch up to Sam.