Time for Chapter 2! And now it's the inbox of everyone's least favorite army general - who has an obsession with coffee and several angry ghosts haunting him. It's also time for another fun disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Cry of the Icemark. That's why this is called a DISclaimer instead of a claimer.

BELLORUM'S INBOX

To: coffeeisbeastly: empire-net

From: wildcat: icemark-net

Subj: YOU LOOK LIKE A RAISIN!

Hahahaha! You look like a raisin and you have big ears. And you are LOSING. Loser. You're getting owned by a 14-year-old and that's just sad. By the way, check out your armor. You know, the armor that has little birdies all over it. snickers. Hope you've got some good paint remover.

To: coffeeisbeastly: empire-net

From: starbuckscoffee: empire-net

Subj: your mail-in order

Hello, valued customer. We are sending you this obviously form-letter email to inform you that you have ordered an uncanny amount of coffee. We do not want to present you with a huge bill, so please call and confirm your order. You might also want to attend a Coffee Addicts Anonymous meeting.

Starbucks Coffee - taking over the world, one customer at a time!

To: coffeeisbeastly: empire-net

From: the ghost(s) that haunt you

Subj: I'm coming for you

Yeah you BETTER run you RAISINPHANT! (raisinphantraisin/elephant. Wrinkly big-eared person, like you)

I'll teach YOU to mess with my country! By the way, this email has a virus in it. Have fun.

Bellorum: -signs off computer- Stupid ghosts. And I'm not a raisin. I'm a scary evil genius army general person who is aging a tiny bit. –checks his armor like Thirrin said to do. For an evil genius that really wasn't that smart-

Bellorum: IT'S HIDEOUS!!!! –faints-

Unbeknownst to him Thirrin has written the following on the back of his armor in hot pink spray paint.

I AM A BARBIE GIRL RAISIN WHO IS GETTING OWNED BY A TEENAGER.

And also unbeknownst to him Oskan has finished that coffee he was making and is now in the process of making the Thermos all pretty with a nice pink ribbon. This is really not shaping up to be a very good day for Bellorum.

Me: You deserved it you raisinphant.

Bellorum: GET OUT OF MY TENT!!! Wait… you don't even exist in this world.

Me: VIRTUAL REALITY ROCKS! Jeez. I was just planting a stink bo- I mean I'm leaving now.

Stink Bomb: -goes off-

Bellorum: EWWWW! It's all stinky and gross!

Me: No duh. –presses button on virtual reality remote- -vanishes-

Bellorum: -looking at coffee- I've gotta get off this stuff…

Thirrin and Oskan: -snicker madly-

A/N: Reviews are nice...hinthintHINT