Booth opened the door to his apartment only to find my gloss covered eyes looking back into his. "Bones, what's wrong? Come here, come in." he ushered me in his apartment, guiding me to the couch. I didn't say a word and I didn't sit on the couch I look in his eyes and let the buildup of water which had settled in my eyes cascade silently down my face leaving tracks. We had pushed and pulled so much, but Booth had always stayed even when everything else moved on and he was out of sight I knew he would always be there no matter what.
I never realized until today, until tonight when I had allowed the deployment to hit me. It was then I realized how much I needed him to be there, not just wanted, he had become an irrational need. While, I said I needed perspective on the matter, on my life-I needed him more. I had doubted us I was scared, but deployment scared me more, deployment held much more worry, fear and anticipation.
Suddenly, I didn't want to go to Maluku and didn't want him to leave, but he had to leave and I couldn't go with him. "What's wrong Bones?" he embraces me and I slowly lay my head on his shoulder soon feeling the thin cotton shirt wet with tears. I try to assemble my racing thoughts as my head lay on what I love the most, my constant, if he left the center was no longer. I pull away and look into his eyes letting him see all of me, the pain, love, hurt, worry, and in that moment -he knows. Though, I feel for some reason I have to voice it, give him hard evidence.
"You Booth, you're what's wrong with me and what's right with me. It doesn't make sense, but-" silent tears slid down my face escaping.
"Shh, Bones." He takes my head in his hands and kisses my forehead first, my closed eyes and tears that are forming in them, then his mouth meets mine at first the kiss is slow and sensual we take our time, eventually it deepens and I respond tears fall like rain I taste them on my lips. Suddenly, I find myself desperate for more of him and soft and sensual turns to a fierce battle of dominance and desire-need. We never ended up sitting on the couch that night, but we did make it to the bedroom.
I was right he never left me, even without knowing he had left me with a piece of himself. I look into the little boy with shining eyes walking along the edge of the reflecting pool. My hand in his so he doesn't slip and fall I won't ever make him fall Booth I'm always right next to him. Sometimes I wonder if it is he that is holding my hand or I his. "Mommy! Look at me!" he turns and catches my eye sticking his free hand straight out and I notice the light I knew so well looking back at me through those brown orbs. I smile at our son and he smiles your smile back at me. "Mommy are you watching?" You were right, you are watching over me-even out of site. I hope you are dancing an "I'm right" dance in your heaven right now.