Chapter 2
Ganon woke up in the middle of the night noticing OAK still unconcious and Chuck Norris near an open Easy-Bake Oven and a cupcakity mess on the wall. "... I am Ganon," he shouted, "Ruler of Evil, Destroyer of Good, and Lover of Facon, soy protein bacon for those not in the known, and hater of all that is boring and dull."
He woke Link who had been sleeping at his doorstep, Link noticed Ganon standing next to an oven, so he kicked down the door and pulled out his sword and shield. "Ganon!" he said in an outraged voice, "You left these games outside and I thought I would bring them back." He pulled out big bag and gave it to Ganon.
"I am grateful, Fairy Kid, you have done me a great favor." Ganon picked up the bag and grabbed one of the games. OAK started waking up. Ganon shouted, "AAAHH! Zombie!" and he threw the game at OAK and he fell down, unconcious again. "That's better. So what is it you want, Fairy Kid?"
"Stop hurting me, like you've been doing."
In a cheerful voice, Ganon said, "Haha! No can do!" he then punched Link in his face. Link fell unconscious. "Wow, unconscifying people left and right sure makes me thirsty."
Ganon walked over to his fridge, "Hmmmmm... I could use some orange juice." He pulled out a bottle of orange juice titled 'OJ' with a picture of OJ Simpson on the front. With the slogan, 'Drink a glass of this or I kill you, foo.' "Oh, well." He grabbed a glass and filled it with OJ, and drank it. "Yummy! I am Ganon, Ruler of Evil, Destroyer of Good, and Lover of Facon, soy protein bacon for those not in the known, and yummifyer of delicious drinks labeled by a shooty-guy!" His speech woke Chuck-to-the-Norris.
"Wh... What are you doing Ganon?" CN asked.
"Uhhhhh..." he hid his bottle of OJ.
"I saw a picture of OJ Simpson."
"Oh, yeah. He's my hero."
"What the doorknob? How?"
"Uhhhhh..."
"Never mind that."
"Ook dook."
Chuck looked at the the incapacitated Link and asked, "Who's that?"
"Oh, that? That's just Peyton Manning."
"Oh. Makes sense."
"..."
"..."
"Wanna play Guitar Hero II?"
"Sure." They ran over to Ganon's TV and played GH2.
"Trogdor was a man," Ganon sang to the tune on the game, "I mean, he was a dragon man Er, maybe he was just a dragon But he was still TROGDOOOORR! TROGDOOOOOOOORRR!"
OAK woke up and saw Ganon and CN playing Guitar Hero. "Can I play?"
Ganon said, "No."
"Why?"
"Two reasons: 1. Curse Sony, but there are only two controller ports, and 2. 'Cause no one likes you."
"... Your face..."
Ganon turned to OAK. "No you didn't!" Ganon threw his guitar at OAK and walked off still singing the song on the video game. "My money's on TROGDOOOOOR! TROGDOOOOOORRRR!"
"You know you left the game on, right?" OAK said.
"I like the song."
"You have to play the song to hear it."
"... Your Mother..."
"Take that back!"
"Ganon does not approve!" Ganon punched OAK in the face and OAK flew back.
Chuck said, "You know you're not giving this story any more plot by doing that."
"We should probably give this story some plot."
"But how?..."
"Well the story is called 'Awesome Guy's Day Off' so it's just about my day off."
"It's 'Ganon's Day Off'"
"What's the difference!"
Crickets start to chirp.
"Since when are there crickets in Hyrule?" Chuck asked.
"How do you know about the characteristics of Hyrule?"
"... I played a bunch of Zelda games."
"You traitor!!!11!!1!1" Ganon tried to punch Chuck in the face but Chuck picked up OAK and blocked Ganon's fist with OAK's face. "Haha! 50,000 points! I win!"
"No, you didn't, I have 7,895,628,609,745,689,620,634,570,896,729,476,598,460 points!"
"Ugh! You cheated! I'm telling!"
"Who are you going to tell who won't kill and/or run away from you?"
"Um..."
"Chew on that one for a while. I see if OAK's alright." He turned to OAK, "You alright?"
Sarcastically OAK said, "Oh, yeah, I'm alright, even though I've been smash with a sleigh and punched in the face 3 times by some ego-maniacal maniac."
"Ok then."
"What does that mean?"
"It means you have a swollen ego."
"I know that I meant what does 'sarcastically' mean?"
"What? I didn't say sarcastically."
"No but it says it before you started talking."
"What'chu talkin' 'bout, Ganon."
"nvm."
"kk."
"lol."
"rofl."
"That was fun! Ganon approves! I am Ganon, Ruler of Evil, Destroyer of Good, and Lover of Facon, soy protein bacon for those not in the known, and Lover of IM Speak!"
Chuck asked, "How many times are you going to say that?"
"As much as I feel like. Who do you think you are? My controller?"
"No, but I do know your controller. He's typing as we speak."
"Who?"
"Oh, just some dude who thinks what we're doing is funny."
"Hahaha! What kind of idiot would think that!"
"I wouldn't say that if I were you?"
"Why not?"
"You don't wanna tick him off. He's like God... with a messy bedroom."
"What's he gonna do? Shoot me with a laser beam?"
Suddenly, Chuck Norris shot a big gigantic laser at Ganon.
Ganon shouted, "Ahhhh! What was that for? I am an idiot for insulting you! Wait, I didn't just say that! He's making me say stuff I don't want to!"
"That'll teach you to mess with me!" a mysterious voice from nowhere said.