Gloin was going to kill the Wizard. He'd waxed lyrical about the courage of Hobbits, but he'd sorely neglected to tell them one thing.
The curiosity.
Well, if he didn't kill the Wizard first, he'd certainly kill the Hobbit. Blasted creature, getting himself lost every five seconds. Bofur, who wasn't even the guardian of said Hobbit, was going mad with fear every time it happened and Gloin was about ready to cut his losses and simply hold onto the pony of the lad's reins if he got himself lost again.
Oin's snickering wasn't helping matters.
"For the love of the Maker," Gloin muttered. "Stop your cackling, you mad old goat. This isn't funny."
"It reminds me of all the times you got lost as a beardling," snorted Oin. "And, now you know what it's like to worry over someone like this."
"You know, Gimli never wandered off!"
"He's barely been out of Ered Luin!" Oin reminded him.
"You could help here. Technically, he's under your guardianship too."
"Aye, when you're not here, he is. But for now, he's all yours." Oin replied, grinning like a loon. "You should enjoy the experience while you can."
Gloin glared at him and began calling for Bilbo for the twelfth time that day.
Bilbo didn't feel at all happy with their choice of guardian. Gloin may very well have been nice enough to those who knew him, but he barely said anything to Bilbo and when he did, he sounded sharp and bitter. He didn't wish to stay close to someone who didn't want him so close and decided to stay out of his way. At least until they got to know each other better.
Unfortunately, Gloin didn't like that very much. He kept muttering about 'going to get lost' and now had a hold of Myrtle's reins, so staying away wasn't an option anymore.
Glancing towards the serious-looking Dwarrow, Bilbo internally sighed.
It was going to be a long day.
It wasn't that Gloin disliked Bilbo. Quite the opposite, really. He just didn't know what to do with him and he wasn't happy that the lad kept escaping from him. At Thorin's order to stop, he released Myrtle's reins, glad to finally be free of that part of his duties. Surely Bilbo wouldn't wander off now.
Oin thumped his arm. "You daft pillock, why don't you talk to him? No wonder the bugger kept going away."
Gloin snorted. "He should be staying where he is, regardless of what goes on."
"Well, it wouldn't kill you to get to know him," Nori said.
"I never asked your opinion." Gloin said. "And I'll thank you to keep it to yourself, Nori."
"I'm only saying," Nori continued, ignoring Gloin's earlier statement, "that it would do more good than harm to talk to him a bit."
"Aye. Nori's right, there." Oin said, nodding agreeably.
"We get on fine." Gloin said, firmly.
Nori sputtered. "Fine?! He looks like a mouse next to a cat!"
"Aye. And you looked like you were about to kill 'im most of the day."
"Ohh," Gloin muttered. "You pair of conniving, miserable devils."
"Well," said Nori in a conspirational manner, "Dori noticed. So, unless you want him breathing down your neck about it-"
Gloin held a hand up, stopping the thief from continuing. "Alright! Fine, I'll go over now then."
Oin allowed himself another chuckle while Nori lightly shook his head.
"Nori, how much would you like to bet that it goes badly?"
"It could go quite well, I think." Nori answered, drawing a pouch out from his coat.
He'd simply asked the Hobbit to help him collect the firewood. A simple enough task and it gave him time to think of something to ask the creature. He considered for quite some time a topic to ask before finally deciding on one.
"Do you have any brothers?"
"No, I don't," Bilbo answered, wondering why Gloin was asking this of him.
"Is it only you, then?"
"Yes. My mother and father didn't have any others."
"Ah," Gloin thought for a moment and continued. "It's amazing how many children some couples will have. You see some having six children and more. Incredible, isn't it?"
Bilbo nodded. "My mother was one of thirteen children and my father was one of five."
"What? Did your grandparents have nothing better to do?"
Ignoring that, Bilbo said, "it's normal for Hobbits to have large families. Don't you have large families?"
"Well, three children is considered a blessing. Four is all but unheard of. Five children is unthinkable and thirteen is an impossible number."
"Why?"
"Not enough lasses. And it's difficult thing to carry a child and give birth."
"There are Dwarf women?"
"Of course there are! What d'you think happens, that Dwarves come out of the stone?"
Back at the camp, everyone stilled in alarm as Gloin's voice bellowed, "What do you mean, you thought they were a myth?!"
Nori sighed as he handed over the coins. He really should have known it would end badly.
"Our dear mother is a myth, is she?" Fili asked, lightly nudging Bilbo.
"Well, that is a shame, isn't it? I rather thought she existed." Kili said, companionably standing beside their burglar.
"Stop!" Bilbo protested. "I meant no offence."
"We know that." Fili laughed, hooking an arm around Bilbo's shoulders.
"Yeah!" Kili confirmed. "Besides, everyone thought it was hilarious. Even Uncle!"
"Gloin rather thought the opposite." Bilbo added in a rather small voice.
"It's alright," Kili said, anxious to bring a smile to their Hobbit. "We're going to help."
"We've actually instigated a bet with Ori and Bofur over who will be first to get Master Gloin and you to become closer." Fili revealed, his blue eyes glittering in all-too eager a way in the sun's dying orange light.
Deciding he would probably be better off trusting them with their help, Bilbo gave a nod. "What do you have planned?"
"For Mahal's love." Oin groaned. "You can't hold that mistake against him, Gloin, you just can't."
"A myth, he said. A myth!"
"So, I take it you're miffed then?" Nori asked, a rather wolfish grin on his face.
"Oh, shut up, you daft sod." Gloin answered, though Nori's pun rather amused him.
"Bilbo is 39 and probably hasn't seen a male Dwarf before us," Oin said reasonably. "Do forgive him, 'cos I tell you, he won't trust you to look out for him if you keep getting angry with him."
While the two brothers bantered about it, Fili and Kili watched from a distance, their Hobbit sandwiched between them.
"Alright, Bilbo," whispered Fili. "Remember what we told you."
"Eye contact, look as sad as you can and end your apology with 'I hope one day you can forgive me'." Kili reminded him.
"Are you sure all this works with Thorin?"
"Yes," Kili replied.
"Now, off you go," whispered Fili.
"Good luck!"
"Now, look, he's coming this way," Oin said. "I'm warning you, don't be an idiot."
"You dream of the impossible, don't you, Master Oin?" Nori drawled, grinning impishly at Gloin.
"Don't rile him up now, Nori. Quick, move!" With a last warning look at his younger sibling, Oin pushed Nori onward and left Gloin to meet their burglar.
It must have been quite the surprise to Nori and Bilbo, but Oin barely batted an eyelid as he watched Gloin's once rigid and angry poise transform into one of frankly sickening tenderness. The thing with Gloin was that he couldn't bear to leave a young one unhappy and unforgiven. He just could not do it, which made Bilbo's look of surprise all the funnier.
Undoubtedly the Halfling found the whole debacle humorless and Oin spotted him darting poisonous looks over his shoulder to where Fili and Kili stood, as if to say, 'Now, look what you've gotten me into!'
"He should," Oin heard Nori mutter into his ear horn, "count himself lucky he's not being hugged so tightly he can't breathe. That's what happens when Dori forgives people."
Clearly the star-haired Dwarf had gotten over his shock. Oin gave his shoulder a pat and turned away. He had more important things to be getting on with after all.
This is going to last for a while, isn't it? Well, I can assure you I won't be writing about each day they have on the adventure (that would take my whole life, probably). Well, that is a surprise, isn't it? A story of mine with no hugs. I'm sorry I didn't have a scene where Bilbo officially meets Gloin, but when I wrote it, it just would not flow, so I rewrote it into something better. Hope it was enjoyed!
On another note, I know I will get certain things wrong, it happens, but can you review the story, not my knowledge? Do drop a message if I've gotten something wrong, I want to know if I have, but I'd prefer it if the review button was reserved for the actual story :)
Love from Shania. xx