Author Note – I'm posting this earlier than I expected to alleviate any confusion. I decided to rewrite this because I wanted to do something different from what I've done before and focus more on the investigation details as a way to develop that part of my story telling. I've never really done a case centric story and I wanted to explore that. When I wrote the original version I realised the investigation side of the story became lost and it was too late to introduce it in chapter five. I am keeping the Demily part of the story but as this continues it will become more apparent how the investigation relates to their story, so please bear with me and the story. Unlike in the original version this chapter is no longer a flash back.
Possession – chapter two
"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment." ― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
Emily sat back in her chair, stretching her arms over her head. Her muscles were taught from being hunched over her desk all day filling in the last of her paperwork from their latest case. She looked around the empty bull pen sighing wistfully.
She never thought she would see the inside of this building ever again. It was the familiar surroundings she craved for the seven months of constant moving, mulling over the prospect of never being able to lay down roots while waiting for the muzzle of a gun to be pressed to the nape of her skull. That never happened and she was able to come home.
Before DC, Emily never considered anywhere her home. Her entire childhood had been a revolving precession of houses and bedrooms, never staying in the same country for more than a few years, always having to learn new customs and languages, anything to find some sense of belonging. That pattern continued in the early years of her career and she never paid much thought to settling down until having the responsibility of ensuring Declan's safety and she needed to find somewhere safe to settle down. Then she became too complacent, allowed herself to believe she would be able to live a relatively normal life, have friends who were like a family to her, accepted her without any expectations. She was now trying to rebuild that family after Doyle ripped it apart.
It was her, their, new beginning. They knew her secrets and she didn't have to hide anymore. She should be relishing in their acceptance. They were so happy to have her home that she felt like she had to disguise her own discomfort and found herself agreeing to things that she wasn't sure she wanted, that she hadn't thought through. Like re-joining the team. She didn't regret coming back to DC, but she would have preferred more time to consider Strauss' offer rather than being put on the spot.
She looked around the bullpen once again, taking in the unusual quiet. She missed the noise, Penelope bustling through the door to inform them of the new case, the incessant chatter from Reid, JJ's snicker when Rossi made a joke. They had filtered out a long time ago, eager to start their weekend and she watched them go as she wanted to finish the mountain of paper work in her inbox before she left for the night. She exhaled longingly. They'd had back to back cases for what seemed like the last month and they were finally off of rotation for the weekend unless a high profile case came. All she wanted was to rest and do nothing but hide away and read for the weekend. Unfortunately peace and quiet was still a few hours away.
On cue the bullpen door opened and Emily looked up to see Morgan walk through, dressed for an evening out. He shot her his infamous charm smile and perched on the corner of her desk while she stared back at him with what she hoped was an endearing smile, one to encourage sympathy and prompt him to save her from the evening ahead of them. Instead he laughed, low and throaty.
"You agreed to come tonight Prentiss," he said without preamble.
Emily grimaced not bothering to try hiding it from her partner. "I know, but what exactly is there to celebrate?"
"It's your birthday," Morgan pointed out with a smirk.
"Exactly," Emily exclaimed. Morgan laughed and opened his mouth to say something but Emily cut him off by pointing at him. "Don't ask how old I am, you already know."
Another round of laughter erupted from him and Emily couldn't help but join him as she stood to start packing the things she needed for the weekend into her bag. "I just don't feel like going to a bar and drinking," she explained softly.
She was still on medication from the doctor for her ulcer and had to limit her alcohol intake, no matter if she needed a nightcap to get through the nightmares and sleepless nights, trying to rid herself of the insomnia that set in while she was in Paris.
Ever since coming back she had pushed herself to integrate back into everyone's lives, playing video games with Rossi, coffee and drinks with JJ and Penelope, being a sounding board For Hotch, giving Spencer time to adjust, going to the shooting range on Sundays with Morgan. It was exhausting.
"Then why did you agree to it?" Morgan asked.
Her decision hadn't been about her. She hated being the centre of attention and everyone coming together with the sole purpose of celebrating her birthday so soon after her return bothered her more than it bothered them. The guilt she already felt multiplied at the prospect, and part of her wanted to avoid it but she didn't want to seem ungrateful for everything they had done to get her back and help her get settled again.
"Because it's what you guys wanted," she replied honestly. She knew Morgan of all people wouldn't hold it against her, no matter if it upset him. He sighed, and Emily felt her stomach tighten in anticipation of his response.
"We want to celebrate because we never thought we would ever have the chance to again. You don't think that's worth celebrating?"
It was Emily's turn to sigh. She knew that was why Penelope had been so insistent to go out tonight, she was almost as desperate as Emily was to put last year behind them. Her silence wasn't appeasing Morgan and he pushed off of her desk, stepping into her personal space.
"How about an incentive, huh?"
"What are you talking about?" Emily asked watching with interest as Morgan reached into the back pocket of his jeans and brought out a slightly rumpled envelope with her name on it. He held it out to her and she accepted it, turning it over to examine it. "What is it?" She asked cautiously.
"I know you Emily," Morgan said as if it answered everything. Emily arched her eyebrow, silently questioning. Morgan huffed but smiled gently. "You've been too quiet and I figured you weren't entirely happy at the idea of tonight, so I arranged something quieter for tomorrow."
Emily tilted her head to the side. "If I'm not enthusiastic about going out tonight, what makes you think I'll be happier about going out two nights in a row," she asked seriously.
Morgan paused, studying her, trying to figure out if she was joking. After he gave up and gestured to the envelope. "Just open it," he ordered gently.
Inwardly she balked at the order, wanted to argue with him but curiosity got the better of her. Slipping a finger under the flap, Emily opened the envelope to reveal a birthday card. She pulled it out and unfolded it, a piece of paper falling out. Morgan caught it as she read his familiar scrawl sending her birthday wishes. Emily placed the card on the desk smiling fondly at it, flushing at the gesture Morgan had made. Compared to the usual conference room gathering Penelope arranged, Emily had to admit this was quite sweet. They usually exchanged small gag gifts, for him to have arranged something meant more and Emily felt a lump forming in her throat before she even found out what he had organised. Accepting the leaflet from Morgan she unfolded the paper to see that it was a flier for a reading of Kurt Vonnegut books happening on Saturday evening.
She looked up at Morgan, her face flushing as she smiled warmly. "I think I can make an exception," she muttered, her voice catching as her eyes watered. "Thank you."
"Think you can enjoy tonight?" He asked heavily, expectantly.
"There was no question of enjoying it Morgan, I'll be with you guys," she replied sincerely.
"You just wanted something quieter," he finished for her and she nods.
"Yeah, and I let time get the better of me," she grumbled as she looked down at her work outfit. "Give me twenty minutes to grab a quick shower in the locker room and I'll be ready to go."
…
Their laughter was loud and uncontrollable as they walked away from the bookstore and towards Morgan's car. Their shoulders bumped gently as the man who caused them so much amusement brushed past Morgan in a rush to get to his car. They managed to hold their laughter in until he was pulling out into the road. They laughed again, but sobered when they caught each other's eye. They sighed happily and continued down the path. Emily gave him a sideways glance.
"I had fun tonight, thank you for inviting me," Emily told him.
"Well I wasn't about to let you celebrate your birthday alone, now was I?" Morgan replied flashing his trademark grin.
"Well last night would have been more than enough," Emily interjected and then she bashfully ducked her head as she felt her cheeks warm in response to the reproachful look Morgan shot her. "Thank you," Emily repeated.
"Did you have fun last night?" Morgan asked.
"I did," Emily sighed as they walked along the path, bumping into each other again. They paused at the impact. Morgan shot her a sideways smirk and then held out his arm, something he usually only did with Penelope. Rather than playfully reject his offer like she normally would, Emily wrapped her arm around his loosely, falling into step with him when they began walking again. "I'm glad I agreed to it. Everyone had a good time."
"I think it was the first time in a long time that we've all allowed ourselves to properly relax," Morgan replied thoughtfully.
He was telling the truth. After a jubilant reception filled with hugs and shouts of happy birthday when they arrived the team settled quickly and the evening, while full of laughter, had been tamer than she expected. Apparently Morgan hadn't been the only one who picked up on her hesitation, and for that she was grateful.
They reached Morgan's car and he unlocked the doors but neither moved to open them as Emily released his arm and leant against the door, not quite ready for the drive home yet, unwilling for the evening to end.
"Do you want to get a drink? Dinner?" Morgan asked.
"Only if I'm buying," Emily retorted but Morgan shook his head.
"Nope, you're the birthday girl," Morgan stepped forward into her personal space. "You can buy when it's my birthday."
Emily rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Deal," she relented, actually feeling content on making long term plans with a friend without worrying she might not be around to fulfil them. "Thank you," Emily repeats.
"For what?" Morgan asked.
"For my birthday, for the last year, for being my friend, I have a lot to thank you for," Emily explained, counting off on her fingers as she spoke.
"You would do the same for me."
His certainty makes her flinch internally and she hopes it doesn't show. She wonders why he has such faith in her when she doesn't have it in herself. He's never wavered in his support and sometimes it worries her if he's ignoring the pain she caused him because it's what she, what the team, needs him to do. While she's thankful for his support, she wonders if that hurt is still festering under the surface, threatening to erupt. She wants him to be as honest with her as he expects her to be, how she's striving to be, with him. She knows him well enough to know he would have issues with her undercover assignment and everything it entailed, being a honey trap for Doyle, sleeping with him. She wishes he would voice those feelings, and hates the feeling that he's holding back from her. Emily looked down at the ground thoughtfully, willing those thoughts out of her head, she doesn't want to question him but his silence contradicts his nature even if his actions this weekend don't. She heard Morgan sigh, almost longingly.
"What?" She prompted softly.
"I've never met anyone like you."
Her eyes blink in surprise at his honesty. Her mouth drops open in shock at the longing in his eyes. Her heart clenches and her chest tightens. She recovers slightly and bites down on her lower lip, not wanting to acknowledge the reason for his admission.
"I think that was supposed to be a compliment," she sends him a self-conscious smile while fiddling with her jacket for a distraction, trying to deflect the tension which suddenly descended over them.
"It was," Morgan clarified sadly.
"Then why do you sound so miserable."
Morgan didn't answer just stared back at her, rethinking his reservations about their conversation. Emily could see the change in his expression, his intent clear. The air around them changed became charged as Morgan's face softened he took another small step forward, his head dipping towards her. Her breath catches in her throat and she stiffens. She didn't want to stop him, but she lifted her hand to place it on his coat. She tilted her head the side, contemplating him sadly as he immediately stilled but he didn't back off.
"I'm sorry," she says regretfully. "That would be a bad idea," she told him softly. "Incredible," she amended breathily.
"But it would never work," Morgan finished for her.
He takes a step back and it takes everything in her not to hug him. She never thought she would ever reject him and she hoped he understood why she was. She wasn't ready to be with anyone, it wasn't about him. She was still trying to reconcile the conflicting feelings she developed for Doyle and she didn't want to risk the unique friendship she had with Morgan.
They stare at each other again. There was so much more at stake if they explored this attraction; their careers, the team, and their work, all of which both of them were dedicated to. That had to come first. They both knew that, especially after everything that happened. Emily couldn't lose them again. Morgan blinked and averted his eyes silently accepting her half-hearted rejection, knowing she had made the right decision for them.
"Come on, let's go get dinner," Morgan said gruffly reaching around her to pull the car door open.
"You still want to?" Morgan looked back to her sharply.
"Yeah, I do," he replied quietly. "Emily, above all else, you're my friend and I enjoy spending time with you. Do I wish that there could be more between us? Sometimes, yes, but if that never happens then I'm happy that you're in my life. I'm always going to here for you Emily, no matter what, don't forget that."
Emily was at a loss of words as a lump formed in her throat, touched by his words. Unable to voice her gratitude Emily leant forward, her hand bracing his forearm gently but firmly to keep him in place as she kissed his cheek, lingering briefly as she once again pondered the consequences of turning her head just a fraction, just once, just to quell their curiosity. She knew it was a bad idea but she wanted him to understand her decision wasn't because she didn't want him. His breath touched her lips and she swallowed the lump in her throat. Morgan's arm wraps around her waist, holding her rather than pulling her closer, letting the decision be hers. Her eyes fluttered closed and she swayed forward.
The familiar shrill ring of their phones sounded and they quickly broke apart groaning, partly in disappointment, partly in relief. Morgan retrieved his phone, his frustration evident as he answered. "Morgan."
Emily side stepped him and answered her own phone, listening as the person on the other end relayed details of the teams' recall. They were to report to Quantico for briefing on a case. She disconnected after confirming her attendance and found Morgan watching her expectantly. He lifted his phone.
"It's probably for the best," he said.
"Yeah," she agreed. They're both lying. Their gazes met for a long time and Emily's heart sank. She wishes they were different people, who had different lives. She wishes they were normal people on a date that could end with a goodnight kiss. But they weren't.
"Come on, we need to get to the briefing," Morgan said as he strode around to the driver's side.