He couldn't explain it all. He had to lie.

"I'm not home. What's wrong?" Goren cleared his throat roughly.

Eames didn't sound like herself, "...Nothing. I mean- I guess....If your not home, it can wait."

Something about the way Eames said 'not home' let Goren know, she knew he was lying, at the end of the day, Eames still knew him better than almost anybody else. Goren didn't want to prolong this conversation, his guilt and anxiety building.

"Ok"

Eames said, "Ok" even more quickly and before Goren could say another word, had hung up the phone. He exhaled, relieved. He got up, walking back to his room again, this time to sleep. He passed the door to the guest bedroom, it was closed, he waited at it for a second, listening closely for sounds of Leah's activity. He heard nothing.

Goren settled in his bed, which suddenly felt too big, even for him. The alcohol and the remaing effects of the THC in his system, had him asleep quickly.

The he saw her, face shining, underneath white covers on a bright day, her thighs stradling his waist. He felt them both laughing, but it seemed distant, slightly muted, just out of reach. Leah leaned down, hiding them under the covers, kissing lightly across his cheeks, again and again. He couldn't remember a time when he was so happy, then she threw her head back laughing and starting boucing with joy, shaking the mattress beneath them, tenting the sheet with billows of air, she looked like a goddess writhing above him, suddenly her bouncing felt good.....so good. He felt himself becoming short of breath, her fingers suddenly digging into his chest, her laughter turning into moans, he felt himself thrusting, harder, harder...

He awoke in a sweat. Then aware of the tent in his shorts, a small wet spot forming. He hadn't awaken to find himself in such a state in years.

The next morning. Laying in his bed, he smelled food. He felt a small wave of confusion, before he remembered he had company last night. He walked out into the kitchen, to see Leah still in his huge t-shirt, lifting bacon off the skillet and laying it onto a paper towel. Goren froze. She was even more beautiful in the morning. Her wild hair framing her like a halo, her face make-up free, her frekcles and dimples more pronounced. She smiled.

"Mornin. I made breakfast, just eggs and bacon and shit."

Goren laughed, "You went to the store?"

"Yeah, I'm usually up, like, way way early. So it was no big deal...and I mean- I wanted to thank you. It's the least I could do."

She fixed his plate, with eggs, bacon, small potatoes and strawberries, pairing it with coffee and apple juice. Everything tasted delicious. She told him her grandmother taught her how to cook. He inferred her grandmother raised her, and she had no parents, which is why his questions last night, unnerved her, and....why she had no place else to go. Goren appreciated the meal. He dressed and went to work, never mentioning to Leah that she had to leave.

Goren wasn't looking forward to meeting with Eames. He knew last night would probably raise her suspicions...and her anger. He ducked into work quietly, Eames desk was empty, he felt a small wave of relief. At least, he had a moment to settle in, before her icy stare would burn him.

But Eames never mentioned anything else about it. She eyed him, she knew something was going on, she could feel it in her bones. Goren seemed today even more emotionally secretive and reclusive than usual. Eames kept her gaurd up.

All day, Goren's mind attempted to calculate what could be going on back at his home. Would she be there when he got back? Would she leave and he would never see her again? Why couldn't he open his throat this morning and tell her this wasn't a good idea. Space seemed to have been created between Eames and Goren and though they were working side by side they might as well have been on opposite ends of the ocean.

Leah took in the sight of his apartment, looking around, her defenses lowered knowing he was gone and wouldn't be back for hours. Her mind wandered to Kalif, she knew he wouldn't be looking for her, he didn't care that much. She just had to avoid running into him. She leafed through some of his books, read over some of his notes, looked through his drawers, she tried to put it all together. Why would this older white man, take such an interest in her? Care so much about if some asshole was beating her up or not? He really went the extra mile. She had never stayed in anyone's home before under these circumstances.

She remembered being a child, sitting with her grandmother in the kitchen, she asked about her mommy and daddy. She never seemed to get the truth, only a few facts remained consistent in the story. He was white, he had green eyes, exactly the same shade of pale lime as hers, and he left. However, her grandmother explained his exit a variety of ways, car accident, robbery gone bad, moved to California never to be heard from again, shot by another boyfriend of her mothers, and pneumonia. Leah pieced off the this together to realize the important thing isn't how or why he was never around...but that he wasn't. She ran her fingers through her wild hair and sat down, finding something interesting to read from skimming through his books. The Story of O, something about the way the woman was posed on the front, made it seem sensual...nothing wrong with some dirty reading, she thought herself. Leah was drawn into the tale, spending almost the entire rest of the day, reading it. The main character, a woman named O, was in love with a man Rene. Rene was harsh with her, blindfolding her, whipping her, using her body in a multitude of different ways. The things in the novel, were things only hinted about in every day life very occasionally, to Leah these acts had never been so descriptive, nor had she been given the opportunity to understand the thoughts and feelings of those partcipating. She couldn't put the book down, some parts made her heart race and listen extra closely for the sound of Detective Goren suddenly coming home early. She didn't want to get caught reading his things, then she had a thought. Why does he have this? His intelligence was obvious and she considered his possesion of the book was probably on an academic or intellectual basis....not sexual gratification. But something about the woman O stayed with her, seeping back onto her mind throughout the day. Leah decided when Detective Goren came home, she could at least have dinner waiting for him, hoping like with breakfast, her meal would be enough to convince him to let her stay another day.

Goren turned the key to his door, his hand shaking lightly, why was he so nervous. He opened the door and suddenly felt like this may not even be his apartment. It was spotless, organized, and smelled of food. He heard rap music, blaring loudly, echoing from his kitchen. He shouted over the noise.

"Hey!" a small smile on his face.

Leah jumped up, her face startled, she was over the stove stirring the cause of the pleasant aroma.

"Oh my Gosh! I'm so sorry-"

She reached and hastily turned the music almost all the way down. She looked at him smiling, the day had almost made him forget how beautiful her eyes were and her small, sweet, face. Goren cut her off.

"No, no, you're fine-it's fine..."

"I hope you don't mind me touchin your things, but-uh-it looked like you could use some help gettin organized and uh a good meal....so since you have been so nice, I just wanted to-" Goren cut her off again.

"No. It's wonderful. Thank you." his voice warm and low. He realized he brought her here to take care of her and for almost the short time she has been there she was taking care of him, his stomach was never so full and it was nice to have company, he couldn't remember the last time he came home and someone was already there...let alone with a clean house and a meal prepared.

She made steak and potatoes, with collard greens, something he wasn't used to eating but knew was a popular food for African-Americans and he could see why. They were buttery and leafy and soft. Another delicious plate of food. This plate was followed by many more. Everyday this ritual continued. She prepared him breakfast and dinner and stayed out of his way, sometimes she was so quiet he wasn't sure if she was even in the house. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like they were...cohabitating. He suddenly remembered her words about Kalif, did she do this all the time? He suddenly felt a small sting, almost as if he wasn't...special. No that wasn't it, but the idea that she found men to cohabitate with her, didn't sit well inside of him. He didn't want to think he was being used. Realizing now he knew very little about Leah and outside of her serving him meals and saying goodnite, he rarely saw her anymore. She hadn't offered any money for rent, but then again...he knew she didn't have any. Sometimes she cleaned the house and on weekends he would see her in her pajama pants and tank top cleaning his home and preparing his meals. Things were starting to weigh on him, he talked to her, everytime more drawn in by her unassuming intelligence, the sweetness of her voice, the raw sincerity and appreciation she showed for him in her small household chores. They were communicating with eachother on a different level. But she had been staying with him for three months now...they needed to at least talk about it. Goren craned his neck, his mind winding to decide the best way to bring up the topic.

As usual, he came home, smelling something like steak. She was standing in the kitchen, sprinkling seasoning into the pan. He stood for a moment, taking in the sight of her, her delicate bone structure, her full breasts, her long neck and smooth tawny skin. Her hair swept up into a large curly ponytail. Her eyes flashed up at him, she spoke over the sound of the sizzling pan.

"Steaks, tonight." Her smile was warm. The words caught in Goren's throat, but he knew he couldn't do it again. He had to say something...anything..today.

"Leah...." his tone concerned her, and she knew immediately, they were finally about to have that conversation. She was suprised honestly he had gone this long without saying anything. She put her hands up.

"I know. I'm sorry. I've well overstayed my welcome..."

That wasn't the direction, Goren was trying to go.

"No, no, no - just- I mean- are you comfortable...here...I mean- do you..like this?

She didn't know what to say. Goren admitted to himself, in the hallway as he was walking into this room to have this conversation with her, that he did in fact like this. He felt cared for...taken care of. His whole life he felt he had been taking care of others, his mother, his brother. No one ever changed his sheets, or cooked his meals and often in relationships he was so chivalrous, so willing to go above and beyond...once his heart was truly open. He never had a woman cater to him the way Leah did, he noticed everything, she washed and folded his clothes, color coordinated his closet, cleaned his bathroom, replaced his razor blades. For the first few months she just cooked and cleaned, but the longer she stayed the more responsiblities she assumed. The case involving the diner and the shooting had long closed, Eames had easily traced the gun and they found the shooter and his accomplice in about three days. But Leah was still here and Goren hadn't spoke a word or given her any indication she had to....or that he wanted her to leave.

Leah answered, her eyes looking down, not meeting his.

"I want you to like it....it's not really about me, you've done so much for me already."

Goren felt a small sinking in his chest, she was just doing all of this to compensate that she had no money to give him. He wanted to tell her he appreciated the things she did, that his spare room was one he always wanted to share with someone...although originally thinking maybe a troubled or underprivelged child or an older person who had no family members to take care of them in their last days. He was a humanitarian in spirit. But something about their dynamics was unique, some sort of tension was in the air, he still couldn't deny he thought she was beautiful, but since his dream about her, on the first night, he had been able to lock his desires...far, far away. He was old enough to be her father. Goren decided not to complicate what was so far a good thing...

"Ok. I'm going to change, for dinner." He loosened his tie, walking back towards his room. She called back to him.

"Well, how was your day today?"

"Fine." he shouted back and then switched into a t-shirt and sweats, walking back down the hall to the kitchen he saw something out of place. He noticed it almost immediately, his detective nature kicking in. A small light brown shape sticking out from under bed, he paused, looking more closely to see if he could figure what it was. He couldn't, he eased into the room, opening the door silently, she had lived there for so long now, he felt he was intruding on her space, though it was still a room in his house. He kicked the object from under the bed with his foot. A book slid out. Leah had his copy of The Story of O. His first thought was what is this doing here? Then, why is she reading this? Then even better, why is she hiding it? He leafed through the book, seeing small indentations on the corners of the pages, indicating places she had stopped, he gauged she read small sections a day. He put the book back under the bed, suddenly feeling paranoid she was right behind him. He went into the kitchen to eat. When he got to the table, as usual, his plate was already fixed for him, with generous portions. She took her seat across from him and Goren sat down quietly, his mind still working on what the book under the bed had to do with her. He was suprised of all the books she could borrow and hide, why The Story of O. He looked at her now inquisitively, but deciding not to say anything, testing if he could make her feel uncomfotable with a look...he couldn't. She looked back at him her eyes solid and her posture confident and unmoving. He gave her another look, feeling some energy, that couldn't be named moving between them. Her eyes met his, this time seeming to pose a question, he tried to decipher what her eyes communicated....it was a whisper..what? why? Goren cleared his throat. Are we playing mental games?

Goren decided to test the waters, and his hypothesis about what all of this meant.

"I want you to sit, in this chair." He pointed to the chair, directly next to the one Leah took across from him. She looked at the chair and then moved. Taking the seat next to hers, sliding her plate over. The move made absolutely no sense, thats why Goren asked her to do it, a normal person, would have at least questioned him. She simply moved. He tried another, to be positive. Her words in his mind. I want you to like it. Something about the way she emphasized you.

"I want you to get me some salt." he paused and then added a "please." but he said it in an almost smug, funny, way, cocking his neck.

Leah's heart was pounding, she didn't know why. She got the salt and placed it on the table in front of his plate, Detective Goren seemed like a mass of burning energy, she could almost feel him thinking, she knew enough to know he was testing her on something, what exactly, she couldn't be sure. She decided her best bet was to do whatever he asked. The air in the room felt thick enough to cut.

They finished dinner quietly, Goren's mind piecing everything together. He went to bed, falling asleep quickly, his belly was full and awoke after what felt like thirty seconds of darkness to realize it was the morning. He smelled it again, her breakfast. He had gotten used to the smell waking him in the morning, of tasting her food in his mouth during his commute to work, of quietly eating with her, one of them perhaps commenting on the paper, mornings they acted like old married couples. Goren lay in his bed laughing to himself, wondering how this whole thing must seem from the outside in. Would someone think he felt some secrecy in his whitness keeping her as a virutal maid, or a dirty old pervert just waiting on the right time to rob the cradle and pounce on the young girl a young girl he fetishized for being of another race, a sucker getting fooled into letting someone stay with him for free in exchange for some meals? The variety of ways to interpreate the situation is what made it so complicated, partly because Goren still didn't know in himself what motivated his part in their relationship, whatever type of relationship it was. The best thing he could say was something about her prescence, knowing she was there, feeling her energy throughout his home, the knowledge now that every time he opened the door she would be there...made him feel a way he never felt before.

He got out of bed and went into the kitchen. His plate was made, pancakes, eggs, sausage and fruit. Goren felt a small flip of happiness in himself..pancakes were his favorite and Leah had never made them before, but they looked delicious, he took his seat and realized there was only one plate on the table. This was new. He felt a small stab of panic and then pushed it away.

"You already ate?" he asked.

"No."

Was she upset. That answer was short, Goren gruffed in his seat and watched her hands cleaning the dish, her hands were trembling. Her eyes were on the dishes but seemed to be looking into space. Did something happen? He thought to himself. He decided to ask.

"Are you okay..Leah?" he didn't use her name often, actually she still called him "Detective" and it made him feel a little weird everytime she did it, so many times he just wanted to say, call me "Bobby" but he didn't want to appear as if he were coming on to her, nothing close to it. She turned towards him. Today something in her face made her look more beautiful than ever before. She's leaving. He knew it, without her ever having to say it, thats why she made this special meal....its the last one.

Instead she said nothing and came towards him, his eyes on her, her moves lighltly seductive, or maybe he was just seeing things, he didn't know what she was going to say but the look on her face indicated it was important. It seemed like it happened in slow motion. She sat at Goren's feet. Saying nothing, curling up under him on the floor like a concubine to a king. Inches away, no part of her body touching his. He was stunned. She didn't speak so neither did he, he realized she didn't want to talk about it, or this, or them, or whatever all of this mixed up to be, she just sat at his feet. After a few moments, Goren settled into enough comfort with the act to eat, but he couldn't fully enjoy his food. His heart was pumping in his chest, he felt like even the silence in the room was too loud, he felt his skin moistening with sweat. Leah sitting there heightened his levels. He felt a cold rush go through him and realized he wanted to lean his leg into her, just to touch her, he hadn't felt her body since that one hug he got the first night she stayed. She had become so much more distant since then. He finished his plate and then did something brave, trying to use his same phrasing and tone from the night before. He held his breath, nervous inside.

"I want you to clean my plate."

Leah got up and took his plate to the sink washing it. Goren exhaled hard, when the water started knowing she wouldn't be able to hear him. His mind was in overdrive. He was smart enough to pick up on the submissive nature of her action, he put that with the book he found under her bed and her constant attentiveness to his needs. Could this beautiful nymph really want him....in that way. He felt his groin flex and looked down at the tent in his sweats, all those feelings from day one came back times ten, times twenty.

He scurried into his room, trying to get away before she could see his arousal. He got into his room, looking in his closet for a suit, his mind working....I can't believe she did that this morning.....

He got to work, looking disheveled, Eames had had enough, whatever Bobby had been up to these last few months, had taken its toll on him, he looked so on edge, like he was stressing himself out. He had been so secretive and unavailable, she only saw him at work now and Eames was growing ever more suspicious of what he was doing with his free time. It wasn't affecting his work, but she knew Goren well enough, something was going on. Bobby had been scattered lately.

He sat at his desk, appearing to be almost unaware of Eames presence entirely. His mind tried to calculate how small a space Leah and put between him and her body when she sat on his cold kitchen floor, at his feet, while he ate the food she prepared for him. He swallowed hard, she had been running his mind all morning. This was unusual for Goren, his mind was like a giant file cabinent, everything organized, controlled, and able to pick up almost anything as a reference at any time. He controlled what he thought about, when and how he thought about it. He had been able to block things out since childhood, a skill he formed out of necessity and as far as he could see helped him keep his sanity now as an adult. But Leah, she just....his mind always wandered back to her, every couple of minutes.

Eames suspicious and hard-watching nature, irritated him today, he could feel her trying to figure out what was going on his head, and Eames could always get closer to his truths than anyone else. He had to stop her..not today...not these thoughts, his mind began to play out the possiblities...the implications...of what Leah may or may not have been offering him this morning. He had to be sure. Her mind and the sight of her nude body in the shower ran through his mind, he ached for her, but always with a bit a shame, a small feeling that he was nothing more than a dirty old white man. Leah being black made him all the more aware of his own whiteness, of the cultural differences between them, in her own way....she had brought so many new things into his life.

Leah stood in the now empty and clean kitchen. I can't believe I did that.... she felt her insides shake. He didn't say anything... she felt light-headed. What am I even doing here? She didnt know how life had taken her down this path or led her to a place where she was staying in a detectives home, now only half looking for an alternative living situation, something about what they had created worked. It wasn't conventional but it worked.

Goren's arousal and desire only burned and increased throughout the day, he eneded up leaving early after an argument with Eames that had nothing to do with whatever they were arguing about and everything to do with the beautiful girl that was waiting in for him in his aparment, whether either one of them knew it or not. By the time he reached his front door, his member was throbbing, he worked the key quickly hurried to get inside and take care of himself, massage himself free of the feeling, Leah had done something to his body, almost putting a time realase capsule into him this morning, that powered by his own thoughts, drove his desire to a ringing height that brought him right back home. He opened the door. She was there dusting a table, her hair down, dressed in jeans and a small white t-shirt. Goren flashed her a smile, a quiet "hey" and joked he had to "pee like a race horse" and went straight into the bathroom. He pulled himself out and with a few quick pumps of his hand released silently into a balled up toilet paper, the stress momentatarily leaving his body. He hung his head, he felt guilty, he knew the last coherent thoughts he had before his orgasm was Leah's nude body writhing in exstacy.

He didn't smell any food and so laid down in his bed for a nap, it was rare he was home so early in the afternoon and his time in the bathroom, left him spent. He was off to sleep quickly.

She was over him now, her beautiful eyes glowing. Her arms were tied behind her back and her breasts seemed extra full, she was crying and her clothes seemed to be melting off her body, slowly exposing more and more flesh, his eyes were caught on the sight of her, his body tensed hoping for a glimpse of her bare breast on her soft mound. She began to shake, her body convulsing, her eyes rolling back in her head, he couldn't tell if it was pain or extreme pleasure. He wanted to help her if she needed it, her breasts began to bounce and sway as if in slow motion and a small smile crept across her face, she spoke to him, "Detective." he tried to call back but she couldn't hear him, she said the words again, "Detective, detective," her tones and rate increased, she said the word as if an orgasm was seconds from claiming her, Goren realized his heart was pummeling in his chest, she said it again, her voice full of pleasure..."detectiivvvveeee"

Then he heard the word, clear as a bell.

"Detective."

He awoke from the dream, his heart pounding, his instincts flared. He became aware of the figure in his peripherial vision. His neck turned instantly. He was face to face with Leah. He didn't know if he was still dreaming, he didn't move. Then her voice, assured him this was real.

"You we're making nosies in your sleep....I just wanted to check on you." he voice was a hush.

Goren's heart began to pound, his breathing quickened, he cleared his throat.

"It's okay. I'm fine...just a bad dream."

She looked into his eyes, in the dimmed room. Quiet, silence and darkness between them. Leah didn't know what to say, neither did he. He felt himself standing at attention, he figured from the dream but now her presence was making it hard for his erection to subside. She was buried under the blankets up to her chin, she looked like a little girl tucked in for bed at night. His mind was racing. They had never shared a bed, not even for a second. He didn't know what to make of her intentions, his mind flashed to this morning, he decided not to to act, but let her show him.

He turned to her, realizing nothing had yet to explain why she was in his bed with him, under the covers. She grabbed his hand, hers soft and small around his. She placed his hand on her breast. Goren caught his gasp in his throat. She was soft....so soft. Her breast was full, the skin surrounding her heavy flesh was taut, her nipples full and hard. Goren turned his head, exhaling into his pillow. He couldn't move his hand, and she lay beneath his touch, her body heaving slightly. She spoke again, so quiet he was sure only he could hear her.

"It's okay."

He felt paralyzed. Was she offering herself to him? He didn't know what to do, his body was drawing him to her but his mind was screaming, screams that were slowly being beaten back by his throbbing flesh...and the possiblities...

Leah brought her body closer to his, keeping his hand pressed to her bare chest. Goren was trembling now as she rolled closer to him. She leaned his lips into his with the lightest touch and he returned her kiss more firmly, full of need. He massaged his lips slowly and lightly over hers, soft, full, and warm. He exhaled with a sound, he knew his arousal made him appear desperate, he felt dirty. She was so young....so beautiful. She said the words again,

"It's okay."

Leah pulled his hand from her breast to the soft skin in between her thighs, he realized now she was naked. She had gotten into his bed naked. His arousal increased ten fold, his body beginning to surge, he kissed her now with more force, pressing into her mouth, inhaling her breath, he was filled with want. Everything from day one came slamming back and hit him like a truck, that witness, that waitress, that beautiful mixed girl with the stunning green eyes. His hearbeat was throbbing through his entire body now and he felt her small soft hand reach across his side and onto his back pulling him softly on top of her, his body followed the command instictivley, and she lay nude under him. He wanted to rip the covers back so he could see her, he wanted to kiss every inch of her young, bronzed, flesh. He wanted to kiss her with tenderness, he wanted to claim he before she had the chance to change her mind about giving herself ot him. He wanted to....but nature took over. He pulled himself out of his boxers, manually gave himself a few harsh strokes and then entered her, Leah felt a flash of heat go into her back and Goren immediately gasped at her tightness. She felt like a virgin. The thought that she hadn't had many lovers, increased Goren's burning desire. Her tightness suffocated him, gripping him, sheathing him in her depths. She sucked in air, feeling herself strtech at his massive size, the sound rang through Goren's body. Her delicious sounds. His body began pulsing, despite himself, the thrust harshly inside of her. She gripped around him more, slick, and tighter than anything he had ever felt. Heat built to a dizzying height in him. He knew he wasn't going to last, she lay underneath him, laying almost completely still as he claimed her, and he pounded now with a few rough stokes that held enough force to shake the bed frame. Leah clenched her beautiful eyes shut from the pain. Goren heard mewl weakly, and he came with a rush, unleashing his desperation. He moaned like a dying animal. His blood still swimming. Shit. Leah said nothing and didn't move. He felt embarrased. How could he come so quickly?

He rolled next to her not knowing what to say, he knew she hadn't been pleasured with his few harsh strokes. Her eyes were closed.

I still am confused about the commenting/reviews I have read some others stories and would like to review/comment. Thanks to everyone who reads mine. This story is intended for a few more chapters I have a good idea about where this is going, For personal a personal note, Leah in my mind looks like this model Denise Vasi who I saw on google pics and my first thought was (her and Goren would make a cute mixed couple) so I'm writing the story. I will work more on You Own Me, but it has gotten so complex on a psych level for me to be true to my original intentions, that its taking longer to write, and I want to send Bobby and Alex back to see Huang which takes a long time cuz thats another character to be aware of. Unexpected is to just focus on or show another side of Bobby, outside of Alex, which seems to be kind of a rarity on this site, and explore the relationship of power both on a sexual but also a racial (ie socio-cultural) level. But I hate to talk too much about my work or stories bc I love reading everyone else analysis of everything, it gives me so much more to think about and inspiration for the next chapter/story. So check out my other story You Own Me as well. Thanks to everyone at FF.