I fall in love with her for a reason. It may not be a fair reason but it was worth the time and effort.
Maybe, I was dealt this hand on purpose, that faith has something waiting for me or maybe to waken the side of that girl in 1-E. Perhaps I was just a pone to faiths greater plan.
If I never fell for her I would have never seen the true side of a foul mouth woman. There's so much more to them than just their words and actions, they are quiet complex and mesmerizing for a human. She taught me that with every smile, laugh, punch, tear and kiss. She opened my eyes to the greater world around me and introduced me to the deeper side of foul women.
Even though my heartbreaks every moment I see her, I can't help but thank her inside.
Thank her for loving me with all she had, opening my eyes to the world and allowing me to love her each day. Even now, I still love her. I would give anything just to have her love me again, even if it were just for a millisecond. At least that would set my heart at ease and stop the cracks that grow with every glance.
I don't know what I did to deserve this, being forgotten is worse than a breakup.
I remember every moment we had: happy and sad. Her soul and body are still carved into my skull like a burning candle in a dark room. But, she doesn't remember any of it, that what hurts the most.
I guess it's a dirty trick that was played on me. Perhaps this is my secret pleasure. It's my little secret…the secret of us.
"You need to stop being so down", a hand shook my back and rocked my desk. "You need to get back out there and grab a new girl".
"Like who?" raising a brow I leaned closer to the tall skinny nerd in front of me, he's known as the pervert of the graduating class but, as his best-friend I know him by: Shu.
Flustered, he scratched the back of his head moving his glasses in the process. "Well…" he trailed off. "I think you might have a chance with Ruri-chan like you—"a quick slap from the girl in question made him quiet.
"Baka! What rumors are you trying to spread around now?" short, nerdy and strict are the perfect words to describe Miyamoto Ruri. She's known for her brains but I manage to beat her every year on the exam, that pisses her off extremely but its' fun to see.
Shu glared down at Ruri with furious eyes, I turned away from the two and looked out to the sky.
It's seems bluer today.
"Maybe you two should go out", I stood from my desk and walked past the two corralling lovers. Both had stopped growling at each other and watched my back as I entered the hallway.
I should move on but it's too hard. My heart wants her still…I still want her.
I still love her…
Sighing heavily I kept down the hallways filled with students. Usually when they see me they start to whisper things like: "He's so hot!" and their friends would follow through with: "He's smart too", then the annoying squeal that burned my ears.
When I was taken they, would do the same thing but my girlfriend would shut-them-up by grabbing my hand or cuddling into my like a dog protecting their territory. It was cute but a pain in the ass.
"Raku!" rolling my eyes for the sound of Shu's voice I quickened my step trying to get away.
I could hear him getting closer, his shoes on the floor and clothing rippling in his speed.
Here's the thing about Shu: he's nerdy beyond belief and he's smart, despite his obsession with the female anatomy, he's fast (too fast for his own good) but clumsy.
Trying to ignore the screams of Shu I turned a corner to the stairs but was forced to stop.
I came nose-to-nose with… with…her.
"Uh..."enable to talk and move I stared into her bright sky blue eyes shimmering with shock as blush painted my cheeks. Her breath tickled my lips in a frozen shock.
'Kiss her! Kiss her! Kisu! Kisu! (Kiss, Kiss)' my thoughts screamed but I fought the urge.
"Raaaaakuuuuu!" with that finally scream of my name Shu came flying around the corner like a mad-man, sending both her and I into the air down the stairs.
私たちは一緒に落ちる
[We fall together]
As a reaction I pulled her body into me and wrapped my arms tightly around her skim frame, she fit like a glove.
Bracing for impact I relaxed against her while her long hair swirled over my uniform leaving the scent of her shampoo: watermelon.
My back burned as it slammed into the white wall sending a loud groan from my lips as I slid to the ground with the beauty in arms. I could feel her trembling and the tension in her body as she waited for impact.
Panting in pain I clenched her shirt tightly as the stinging sensation ran through my back, nearly paralyzing my senses. "…Daijobudesuka? (Are you okay?)" I whispered in pain.
Quickly coming to terms with events she looked over to assess the situation. Body against body, her frame in my arms and the pain in my back. "Hai… (Yes) " she squeaked.
"Glad to hear it", she crawled off my lap as I tried to get up from the floor.
Sharp pain ran down my back as I pushed off the wall, its worse than I thought it would be, it feels like my whole back is on fire. "I should ask you the same question: are you okay?" her sweet voice sang in my ear.
I wanted to get up and end the pity-party but there wasn't any way that would happen.
"Don't worry about me—", I tired.
"Baka" she smiled. My heart began to race, the last time she smiled for me was before she left her grandmothers. "Of course I'm going to worry, you got hurt saving me, don't try and play 'tough-guy' on me", going against my protest she wrapped my arm around her shoulder and helped me to my feet. "I'm going to take you to the nurse".
I should thank Shu and his clumsiness because this is the first time in a year I got to be around her.
A blush sneered my cheeks as she led me down the stairs to the second floor. I kept my eyes on the floor watching her blue skirt flutter with each step we took: long legs like I remember, tall and slim body that's nimble, flexible and strong; long blonde hair that felt like silk and bright blue eyes that put the sky to shame. Kirisaki Chitoge: my first everything and heart's desire.
She doesn't know that though. In her mind, I'm just a stranger who saved her from a nasty fall. I wish she knew more about me.
"Thanks…" I managed to whisper under my hair.
Her eyes narrowed as she blushed: "It's nothing".
Seeing the blush gave me hope: maybe she remembers me or something is stirring inside, something that is unknown to her heart.
Eager to ask I bit my tongue. There's no way she would remember, there's not a chance: how can a fall bring back two years of memories? It's impossible.
I kept my mouth shut the either time we walked to the nurses office, unsure of what to say or to bring up the past, but broken by the troubles in my mind.
I wanted to talk like we used to: never boring, always funny and completely understood. There was never a moment I had to explain things, she knew what I meant… even if it were just mumbles of craziness.
Chitoge understood.
I miss that… I missed being understood by someone.
I may have Shu but, it's not the same. Most the time he's off in his own world calculating the size of breasts or something perverted. I would try to get into his mind but, I'm positive it would take away my perfect I.Q.
So, I stopped talking about my issues with Shu, well the ones that involve the opposite sex; it only brought the pervert out of him.
"How's your back feeling?"
"It still hurts", I replied with a slight smile.
Her eyes connected with mine as we came to the nurse's door.
Big shimmering, bright and beautiful eyes. I love those eyes.
I pulled myself together and placed my eyes on the door in front of us; I can't do this anymore. Those habits that I fought so hard to break, can't come back now… they just can't.
"Nurse?" the room was dark as she sat me on the bed.
Seeing as there was no other patience and the door is unlocked, the nurse must've went on break. Glancing to the clock I figured she wouldn't be here for another hour since lunch just started.
"She's not here", I stood from the bed. "No point in—"
"Oh no you don't", she insisted with a quick push. Her strength knocked me back into the bed, such quick movement caused me pain; but the vixen didn't seem to care. "You're getting treated whether you like it or not".
Stubborn! She's always been stubborn, since the day we met and she punched me for no reason. I can still remember walking with Shu and magically a fist connected with my face. The pain was excruciating!
It's funny that we are in the nurse's office because this is the first place Chitoge and I really started to talk. After her quick punch, my nose started to bleed like no-tomorrow and the girl had to bring me here. The nurse never showed, even after the bell, and Chitoge wouldn't let me leave.
We sat here talking about ourselves, that's when we became friends.
"Who's going to treat my injuries if there is no one here?" with her hands still resting on my shoulders I sighed from her persistence. There was no way out of here, she'll probably keep me here till the nurse comes back.
I really dislike nurse's offices, same goes for doctor's offices.
Her cheeks puffed with air while she thought about what to do: chase down the nurse, bring me to the hospital or sit tight. Hopefully she's doesn't do any of those, I would rather go back to class and get the rest of the day over with.
I groaned under my breath when her eyes lite-up: "I'll treat you!" she exclaimed, I could hear the determination dripping from her lips, sending a cold chill down my spine. G-Great…
"You don't have to do that for me, Chitoge" I insisted.
Her cheek turned red; is she really that mad? Or is it just determination?
"Y-Y-You…" she stuttered.
"Spit it out", mimicking her exact words I leaned back on the mattress and watched her fidget with her skirt.
"Y-You…" eyes on the floor burning away the tiles and neck turning red, I noticed the embarrassment spewing out of her soul. "….You used my given name" she whispered under her breath.
Stoned by her reaction I froze.
She got that embarrassed over that? I thought she might've had a fever or I said something wrong. But… she got that red over her given name?
I couldn't help but laugh, I tried to hold it in.
Just like her, getting embarrassed over the dumbest things and using violence to resolve her embarrassment. Wait-
I forgot about her violent side, I'm not used to seeing it. So, when she through an upper-cut to my jaw I was caught off guard.
"Itai! Itai! (ouch, ouch)" I shouted while holding my chin.
My pain didn't faze her, she merely glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. "There's plenty more if you want to keep making fun of me" she hissed.
Now, that's Chitoge.
"You haven't changed, baka" I snickered to the side.
"What did you say?" she heard me? How?
Sweat began to drip down my neck from the intense stares she was giving me. I thought she was murdering me with her eyes. "I said: some nurse you are" flustered I pulled something out of the air without a filter. Maybe, it would have been best to just tell her the truth.
"Shut-up" bright blue fires grew in her orbs.
When I didn't react she seemed to stop being so mad, instead there was a brief moment of silence as I stared into her eyes. It's weird, we used to do that all the time and it was like we were talking without our mouths.
Pulling back quickly she sighed with a blush.
"I'll get something's to treat you" she announced before dashing into the nurse's cabinets.
When the curtains closed I heaved a loud sigh and scratched the back of my head, frustrated with these events.
I'm overjoyed that I get to spend time with Chitoge, I couldn't be happier. But it hurts… it hurts like a bitch. I wanted to just… just tell her, tell her everything: what I want to do to her but mostly… what I have to say to her. There is so much I wanted to tell her.
I wanted to tell her about my future, family and more, but I really want to tell her the same words that started our relationship: Suki Dayo (I love you). If I could I would sing those two words to her repeatedly. I just wanted her to know but I can't tell her, I have no idea what it'll do to her or if it will only hurt me in the end.
Do I want to hurt more? No really, everything that's happened today is enough: being told to move on, the stairs, my back, being with her and the recent upper-cut.
I'm a huge fan of pain but sometimes it's alright, just a little of it, not a chain of events.
Should I try and see if she remembers me? Maybe, she's holding back because I've never mentioned anything. Perhaps she doesn't know how to tell me. Could that be it?
There's moments she acts like she used to, but then there are times she's completely different. I don't know!
It's torture, pure torture.
"Be a man!" her words from the past still haunt me, it's almost like the old Chitoge is trying to reach me and tell me: I'm here! I never left!
What am I thinking? There's no way she's there, right? Maybe it's' best I just forget about everything: her and us. There would be no pain—… what am I thinking? If Chitoge knew what I was thinking… she would beat the stupid out of me.
That's it… I'm at a stand-still.
Rattling came from the curtains and I looked up to meet a falling blonde. Medication, ice-packs and bandages scattered the air as she fall towards me. Typical!
I sat shocked when her face landed in my stomach, I didn't know whether to touch her or just let her recover, either way, I was going to get hit for this.
Blush painted my cheeks, they seemed to be pink today since we started talking, and I wouldn't be surprised if they permanently stayed blushed.
Slowly she lifted her head only to meet my white shirt and the scent of body. Her eyes scaled up towards my face, that's when she noticed where she had landed.
"Pervert!" she howled before punching me in the stomach.
Doubling over in pain I looked up at the blonde with anger. "Pervert?! You fall on me!"
"I know there must be some disgusting thoughts rambling in your head", such a weak argument was like a slap in the face. She's making me seem like Shu. Are you kidding me?
"I was not", quickly denying she smirked.
Gradually we dropped the subject and she went to dressing my back. Turns out its' bruised and scratched badly, no wonder there was so much pain.
It must have hit the railing pretty hard, not to mention the wall. The scratches must be from the dirty, stones and whatever's on the stairway from students.
The rooms silent, a little too quiet.
Yet again, it's a little awkward for her. In her mind this is her first time seeing me without a shirt, probably the first time she's ever been alone with a boy.
It's rough for me too. This is the first time in over a year I've been touched by a woman. Just her fingers on my back sent me to a deep blush; maybe she was right earlier, perhaps hanging out with Shu is melting my brain into a perverted ball.
I should ask her about her memories, it's either now or never, and I don't know if I'll have this chance again. What's the worst that could happen?
Just her Uncle finding out: he'd probably come to the school and cut me into pieces. Her cousin would be no different, but instead she would put more pain and time into my death.
Thinking about the two gave me the chills.
"Oh, gomen'nasai (I'm sorry)", perking up for the apology I looked over my shoulder.
I noticed that her entire face was pink and turned away, she didn't need me knowing that she's embarrassed again.
"For what?"
Chitoge went quiet but I could feel her fingers pressing bandages over my cuts. "I thought I touched you in the wrong place", blood rushed to my face. I thought I was going to become a giant puddle or turn into a flame since I was so hot.
"No…No, you didn't" I stuttered in embarrassment. This is just like the time I was talking to her grandmother. "I was just thinking about something".
"Oh" she simply answered before proceeding to tend my wounds.
Then silence fall again. I hate the silence.
"Say, do you remember anything about me?" I managed to ask, I wasn't sure if it's the right thing but it's worth a shot.
"We only met today, I don't even know your name" she told me.
I could hear my heart cracking slowly before it scattered into tiny pieces. That's it? She's just doing this out of her heart. What a….a…relief?
I wanted to cry, maybe scream my feelings at her. Tell her how it hurts… how it hurts to be forgotten by the one you love.
I want to. I truly want to.
But, I didn't.
~*~ Remember Us ~*~
Later that night I sat in my room, isolated from my family… from the world.
I didn't want to see anyone not: my father, brothers, or friends. I just wanted to be alone to think about something's.
Since I got home, I've been laying on my bed thinking about what happened in the nurse's office, the stair-case and the way Chitoge reacted. She didn't seem like herself.
Usually when she's with strangers she acts like a goodie-two shoes but today, with me, she acted like herself. She acted exactly the way she did when she sent me to the nurse's office in our first year.
Is this a sign? Perhaps, I'm supposed to keep trying.
Then again, I don't want to be seen as a stalker.
What should I do?
Tossing and turning in my bed, I rolled onto my side to see my desk. Resting next to my lamp is a picture of me and Chitoge: we're laughing in the snow.
I remember that day, it was a week after our two-year anniversary. We had decided to celebrate by going for a walk in the park, that's when out of the blue, she throw a snow-ball at me. Instantly a full-on war began: snow went flying through the air along with insults.
We hadn't noticed the presence of my brother, but he noticed us right away.
In the spur of the moment, he snapped that picture.
Those were so fun times. I miss those, I want them back.
I want her!
"Fight then, Baka!" a voice screamed in my ear.
Without thinking, I grabbed my phone and called Shu.
"Koni—"he yawned.
"Shu, I need your help with something".
"What is it?" I could hear him tapping his pen on his desk, he's probably doing homework.
"I want to do everything over again", the line went silent for a while and the pen had dropped. "Shu?"
"Are you drunk? Doing drugs?" he snapped. "Wait… what is it you want to do again?"
Pressing my lips firmly together I stared at the picture on my desk. "I want to try and get Chitoge back".
It's final. Whether she's forgotten everything about me, doesn't know who I am or understands what I have to say…I'm going to try, no matter what. Even if that means… starting a new relationship with her.
I will love her again.
Sinces its new year's, I thought I'd release chapter one.
This story will continue once: The Bucket List or Sakura Ai are completed. Please tell me what you think so far, and don't be afraid to ask questions.
Love,
Bleachlover2346~