The trip back to Kirk's small San Francisco home was, for the most part, silent. Whenever Kirk would look over, Khan would be staring out at nothing in particular, not seeming to take any of his surroundings in. A few times Kirk had seen Khan watching him, but his face showed no emotion. He seemed all but dead. When they arrived at Kirk's home, Khan didn't move, but instead remained lost in thought.

"Khan?" Kirk spoke softly but still managed to startle him. "Come on, we're here." When he finally did move, he walked slowly and nearly jumped when Kirk took his hand. "Here, come inside." He allowed Kirk to lead him into the house, something the captain found strange. But, clearly, he's not the same. "We'll only be here for few more days, then we're going back to the Enterprise..." Khan finally looked up, "so that we can begin our 5 year mission, which it looks like you're going to be a part of." Khan only nodded his head, and Kirk was beginning to worry. What had they done to him?

The door closed behind them and Kirk let go of Khan's hand, allowing him to look around the house. He walked around, studying his new surroundings, then returned to Kirk.

"May I go outside?"

"Of course, you can go anywhere you want. You're free now." Khan smirked and turned away from Kirk. I certainly don't feel free. And in a way, he truly wasn't. His memories had him trapped, they controlled his every thought. Will it always be this way?

He could feel the captain's eyes on him, so he left and went out to the deck overlooking the water. It was hot out today, and the warm weather reminded of his home, of his former life. How he missed that and what he had been. Someone I'll never be again. He sighed and sat down, pulling his legs up against his chest and wrapping his arms around them, then rested his head on his knees. As soon as his eyes closed, he may as well been back at the science facility. He was again cut off from the real world. A familiar loneliness filled him and he forgot about Kirk, about where he was. The pain took over and he was gone, lost in his mind.

•••

A light touch from Kirk brought him out of his thoughts. When had it gotten so dark? The sun had already set and the air was growing cold, Khan too, besides where Kirk's hand rested.

"It's getting late, you've been out here all day. Want to come inside now?" Khan straightened his long legs then pushed himself up, Kirk taking his hand to help. They walked inside and Kirk turned to face him. "You want something to eat?" Khan only shook his head. "Are you sure, you should really have something."

"Thank you for your concern, Captain, but I am fine. Where will I be sleeping?"

"You can have my bed."

"I really can't take your bed."

"Please, I insist. And it'll only be for a couple nights." Khan nodded. "Here, you look tired," Kirk said and led him to the bedroom and watched as Khan sat down on the edge of his bed. "Do you need anything?" Khan shook his head and the captain turned to leave, but stopped when he felt Khan's hand wrap around his wrist.

Khan hesitated before he spoke, unsure of exactly how to say it, but he knew he needed to. "Kirk, you must know that...I am sorry. For everything. For your ship, and your crew, and your friend, Captain Pike. Even for my weakness now. I am sorry."

Kirk wasn't sure of how to respond, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "Thank you, Khan." He sat down on the bed next to him. "I forgive you." Khan looked confused.

"But, why? How can you forgive me for what I've done?"

"Because, even though what you did was wrong, the reason behind it wasn't. I understand why you did all that, and I'm sure if I ever thought I'd lost everything, well I'd certainly want to make it right." He looked over at Khan and their eyes met. "We're more similar that I was comfortable admitting, at first."

"No, Kirk, we were similar, but not anymore. I am nothing now." Khan looked away. "Do you know why I was released so early?"

"Well, I assumed it was because the testing was over, that they figured out what ever it is that makes your cells regenerate the way they do."

"No. People were beginning to look into my treatment, they were becoming suspicious about my change, why I was becoming so weak. What they did to me there was not something your Starfleet would be proud of. They had to stop people from asking questions, so they set me free. But Kirk, I am not free yet. Had I known what awaited me, I would have gladly chosen death."

Kirk thought about this for a moment. Could it really have been that bad? Is this what Starfleet was becoming? "What do you mean you're not free?"

"Every time I close my eyes, I am back there. The pain I feel when I remember it..."

"You know, I had that for a while too, after I died." Again Khan looked up at him. "Don't worry, it get's easier after awhile."

"How long did it take for you?"

Kirk sighed. "Months, but I still have dreams about it sometimes. The memories are always there, you just get used to them, replace them with other things, I guess. They become less painful, but they'll never be gone. I'm sorry you have them too."

"Captain, I did not tell you this for your sympathy, but so you understand why I am now so weak."

"And I do understand, but I also care about you. I don't even know why I care so much, but I do. I don't want to see you suffer anymore. It won't change what happened." Kirk took Khan's hand. "I'm worried about you." The concept of someone caring for him was so strange to Khan, the feeling so foreign. "Someday, despite all we've been through, I hope to be able to call you my friend."

"I hope for that, too, Kirk." The captain smiled at him.

"Good. Well, I'll let you sleep now. Don't be afraid to wake me up if you need anything, alright?" Khan nodded and smiled back at him. "Goodnight." Kirk left him alone and Khan laid down in Kirk's bed.

Kirk, my friend...Khan closed his eyes, relieved to find the darkness and silence were no longer so frightening now that he was not so alone. He could hear Kirk's words, "Don't worry, it gets easier after a while...". He could see him smile, and he was finally comfortable.

For the first time in years, Khan was glad to be alive.