Lena spent the remainder of the week trying to convince herself she was just going to be hanging out with a new friend. Just a friend. The electric eye contact and pace at which Stef devoured a lesbian love story meant nothing. It was good and healthy for both of them to spend time together. Good and healthy with zero chance of Lena getting her heart broken.

Stef spent her time anguishing over what movie to bring to Lena's. After a week of wracking her brain and coming up with nothing, she was pacing the aisles of the video store, trying to find the perfect thing and not be late to dinner.

She wanted to avoid the romance aisle - what message would that send? A straight romance might be insulting to Lena, but The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love was way too on the nose. Action movies were more Mike's thing. She couldn't even pretend she was into documentaries.

Finally, she just grabbed her favorite movie and hoped Lena didn't find her to be a total psychopath.

Lena was standing outside the restaurant when Stef arrived. She observed the taller woman as she walked towards her. The sun was setting behind her, and it made her hair seem to glow. Lena was objectively beautiful. Really, it wasn't odd for Stef to think that - it was just a fact. Maybe it was a little odd for her heart to race quite so much at the sight of Lena, but didn't pretty women make everyone nervous?

Lena wanted to hug Stef when she greeted her. Then she thought she shouldn't - warding off future heartbreak and all that - best not to get too touchy-feely. But she'd hug any other of her friends, and wasn't Stef just a friend? Really, it would be unusual of her not to hug Stef. So she opened her arms as Stef reached her and tried to act like it wasn't going to be the highlight of her day.

Stef wasn't used to huggy friends, and her complicated feelings for Lena made her feel awkward. But she couldn't leave Lena hanging. And she honestly wanted the woman's arms around her. So she stepped into them and reciprocated the embrace. It took a moment for her to relax, and then all too quickly she was having to force herself not to be a total weirdo by smelling Lena's hair. She so wanted to smell Lena's hair. And bury her face in Lena's neck. And -

"I'm so glad you could make it," Stef heard right next to her ear. She shivered.

"Are you cold? We should go inside and get a table." Lena was happy for the excuse to pull away. Stef didn't hug like a straight girl, all arms and leaning over. Stef's embrace was full-bodied, their stomachs and breasts pressed together. It would be too easy to stay in it longer than was appropriate, and Lena didn't want to scare her off.

Stef tried not to appear nervous as she and Lena were seated. Maybe she just wasn't used to spending time with female friends, but she couldn't shake the date vibe. Lena was so attentive, leaning towards her and maintaining eye contact, rather than sitting back and relaxing.

"So, sushi? You going to convince me that raw fish is delicious." Stef looked skeptical.

Lena reassured her, "Stef, you don't have to eat anything raw if you don't want to. There are cooked things on the menu, and the California rolls are pretty tame."

"No, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. Hit me with the rawest, fishiest thing there is." Stef smiled, psyching herself up for the challenge.

Lena raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but I'll order a variety so if you don't like something you'll have other options."

"Fair enough. So what else are you doing this weekend? Any big plans?" Stef sat back, trying to relax before she was faced with a dinner that hadn't been cooked.

"I'll probably go hang out with my friends, Jenna and Kelly. They have a son who's just a little younger than Brandon. We've been friends for years, but I see them less now that they're parents. I don't know if it's me or them, but for some reason we just don't get together as often as we did before Garrett came along."

"I know what you mean. Mike and I tended to socialize with our co-workers, but once we had Brandon we kind of stopped. We still go to the more organized parties and all that, when my mom can babysit, but we don't just hang out like we used to."

"So your mom is local? That must be nice. Or not. I moved here in part to get away from my mom."

Stef smiled sympathetically. "Well, my mom moved an hour away after I graduated from high school, but yeah, she's pretty nearby. You and your mom aren't close?"

Lena twisted her napkin. "She'd like us to be. I guess. She just has certain expectations and issues she puts on me, and I don't exactly react well. It's better that we see each other a couple of times a year than if we were in each other's hair more often."

"What about your dad? Are your parents together?" Stef wasn't usually one to ask a bunch of personal questions, but things flowed naturally when she was talking to Lena.

"They are. My dad likes to keep my mom happy, and since a lot of my issues with my mom are about me not being black enough it's hard for him to get involved."

"Why not?" Lena's family sounded as complicated as Stef's though in a completely different way.

"Well, he's white."

"Ah, I see. Any siblings? Someone to share the burden with?"

"Technically, yes. I have a half brother from my father's first marriage. But I don't have a relationship with him. He said some unforgiveable things about my mom, and I have no interest in spending time with him." Lena crossed her arms.

"I take it he's white."

"You would be correct."

"Wow, that sounds messy. Makes me appreciate being an only child. Though I always wanted a sibling. Someone to divide my mother's attention and to spread out the pressure from my father."

The food arrived, just in time to lighten the conversation. They shifted to discussing the proper method of consuming what was in front of them.

"So you mix up a little wasabi with the soy sauce - not too much, the wasabi is hot - and then you use your chopsticks to dip in your roll and then eat it," Lena explained.

"I have to eat the whole thing all at once?" Stef was hoping to start with just a little bite.

"Well, it's just easier that way. If you take a bit the whole thing will likely fall apart. But you can do whatever you want." Lena was impressed that Stef was willing to try something new, but she didn't want to overwhelm her.

"I can handle it." Stef looked determined, but still a little skeptical.

"You're quite the tough gal, aren't you?"

"If the guys from the station could see me now. They'd make fun of me for eating sushi, but they'd expect me to down it like a champ."

"All right, champ? You ready?"

Stef was determined to get the worst out of the way, so she aimed for the tuna. It was a pink slab of meat on top of some rice. It looked wholely unappealing, and Stef was under no illusion she'd actually enjoy it. If she managed to be totally honest with herself, she just wanted to impress Lena.

Try as she might, she couldn't get the chopsticks to work. Every time she'd attempt to bring them together, one of them would slip. She hoped Lena found it charming, rather than a sign of Stef's lack of culture.

"Here, let me help." Lena put her hand on Stef's and helped her clamp down on the tuna. Stef held on and picked it up.

"Are you up for the wasabi? You really don't have to if you're not into spicy foods." Lena looked warily at Stef.

"No, no. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it all the way." Stef dunked her sushi into the liquid and quickly brought it up to her mouth. She managed to put the whole thing in, then chewed three times before swallowing. She grabbed her glass of water and drank half of it.

Lena laughed. "So, what did you think?"

Stef hoped her smile looked genuine. "Not so bad. Maybe I'll try one of those rolls next."

"Not a fan of the sashimi?"

"Now I can say I've tried it."

Lena narrowed her eyes at Stef's non-answer. "Yes, you can."

The rolls turned out not to be terrible, and Stef was glad she wouldn't walk away from dinner hungry. Still, she happily accepted Lena's suggestion of going for ice cream afterwards.

They continued chatting comfortably until the check came. Then came the awkward argument over who should pay.

"We should split it," Stef insisted. Anything to make it feel less like a date.

"But I invited you, and I'm pretty sure you didn't enjoy it, no matter how hard you tried to pretend," Lena responded.

Stef held Lena's eyes. "I'll have you know I very much enjoyed myself this evening."

Lena didn't want to read more into that than just Stef being kind, but it was still nice to hear. "Thank you. I did as well. How about I get dinner and you get the ice cream?"

"Deal."

The walk to the ice cream shop was pleasant. It felt nice to Stef to be out with someone, enjoying the evening with no obligations. Of course, she missed Brandon, but it was good for her to be something other than his parent and the city's law enforcement.

Lena hadn't felt like this since Gretchen, and she knew she needed to be careful. It was just so hard when Stef was so much fun to be with. Lena let herself pretend for just one moment that she was walking down the street with her girlfriend, then forced herself to set those thoughts aside. She could keep things platonic. It wasn't like Stef had given any sign she would even consider being with a woman. Right?

"You are a grown woman, Stef. One who's not with her five-year-old tonight. And yet you get bubble gum and cotton candy flavored ice cream?" Lena couldn't imagine stomaching the vivid pink and blue combination.

Stef raised an eyebrow at Lena. "The lady who got the chocolate/vanilla combo is judging what my ice cream says about me? Irony, much?"

Lena laughed out loud. "No one's ever pointed that out before. Did Freud write anything about ice cream selections providing insight into someone's psyche?"

"Probably. In between the cigars and your mom."

Lena shook her head and took a lick. Stef tried not to be distracted by the sight.

"I know it's juvenile, but it's Brandon's favorite. He never ends up eating all of it, so I do. It's kind of grown on me. Want to try?" Stef held out her cone in offer.

Stef had tried sushi - the least Lena thought she could do was try day-glo colored ice cream. The fact that it involved Stef feeding her from something her mouth had been on didn't play into her decision-making at all.

Lena held Stef's wrist to steady it and leaned forward. Lena's touch actually made it more likely Stef would drop the cone, but she managed to hang onto it as Lena had a taste. Lena looked up from the ice cream and licked her lips.

Stef's voice only cracked a little as she asked, "So what do you think?"

Lena smiled. "Now I can say I've tried it."

"Silence of the Lambs? Seriously?" Lena was a bit surprised at Stef's movie choice, which was revealed once they settled onto the couch at Lena's after they finished their ice cream.

"Don't judge - it's my favorite. Besides, it's got law enforcement goodness for me and Jodie Foster for you."

"How do you know I'm a Jodie Foster fan?" Lena was totally a Jodie Foster fan.

Stef shrugged. "C'mon. Even I know Jodie Foster is a lesbian."

"Fine. I'll give you that. But I hate horror movies."

"You haven't seen this?" Stef was appalled. "It's not just a horror movie."

Lena looked skeptical.

"I'm not saying there aren't some pretty gross parts - it's just so much more than a schlocky gore-fest. It's suspenseful and smart, and the acting is amazing."

Lena threw up her hands in submission. "Okay, I'll give it a try. But I'm calling you at 2 a.m. if it gives me nightmares."

Stef wasn't so bothered at the thought of a call from Lena waking her up in the middle of the night. She pictured Lena in some sort of nightie, hand clutched to her chest, needing comfort from Stef. She managed not to offer to spend the night, just, you know, in case.

Instead, she just smiled and popped the cassette in the VCR.

Lena had to admit to herself it was a pretty great movie. When she wasn't covering her face to avoid having bloody images seared into her brain.

For at least the fourth time in the past hour, Stef asked, "Are you sure you don't want to turn it off? You don't have to suffer through this if it's totally freaking you out."

Lena scooted just a little closer to Stef on the couch. "No, no - you ate sushi, I can get through this movie. Just warn me when it's about to get gross."

By the time Clarice was searching for Buffalo Bill in his basement, Lena had abandoned any pretense of bravery and had buried her head in Stef's shoulder. It felt so cliche - the two of them using a scary movie as cover for an excuse to be close to each other. It wasn't that Lena's fear didn't seem genuine, and it wasn't that Stef had picked the movie with this scenario in mind - it was that over the course of the night the "date" vibe had only intensified. Stef knew they were skating closer to some sort of line, but here she was, her arm around Lena, unable or unwilling to pull back.

Lena knew she was overreacting a bit to the movie, but she genuinely didn't care for gruesome scenes. And it was easy to forget the lovely evening (gore aside) she had had wasn't with her girlfriend. Stef was supposed to be just a friend. But the more time they spent together, the less that felt true.

The credits finally rolled, and Lena raised her head. Stef looked over at her, and their faces were closer than either realized.

"So, did you hate it?" Stef asked quietly.

Lena held Stef's eyes as she replied, "No, I definitely enjoyed it more than I thought I would."

The moment went on too long. Stef didn't know how to respond. She swallowed, and it felt like a cartoonish gulp. The blood rushed in her head, and she imagined Lena could hear her heart pounding. She must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. Advance or retreat?

Stef wasn't ready to move forward. She looked away and pulled her arm back from around Lena's shoulder. It was too much.

But the disappointment on Lena's face, quickly masked, gave her a pang. Maybe there was a middle ground.

"How about you pick the movie next time?" she asked, with what she hoped looked like a normal smile, not a grimace.

Lena smiled back. "Definitely. But you can pick dinner. Is that okay?"

Stef got the sense there were always layers to the conversation with Lena. "Yes, it's more than okay."

"Good." Lena looked relieved.

Burgers and Much Ado About Nothing. Indian and Field of Dreams. Pizza and Dead Poet's Society. Friday night dinner and a movie became a regular thing. Both women looked forward to it - Stef a little guiltily, and not just because she didn't like the idea of the best part of her week being a time her son was away from her. She tried to compartmentalize her life - there were the weekdays, when she worked and tried to avoid Mike and took care of Brandon. Then, there was Friday night, when she became someone else, someone who laughed easily and smiled often.

So she was perhaps disproportionately disappointed when she had to cancel Friday night plans with Lena when she had to work late.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized to Lena from the phone in her car. "I wish I wasn't stuck out here, but there's no way around it."

Lena was disappointed as well, but she didn't want to make Stef feel badly. "It's okay. It means I can have sushi."

Stef laughed. "Go right ahead."

Lena hated the thought of not seeing Stef for another week, barring running into each other at school. "Hey, why don't we just reschedule? You're not working tomorrow, are you?"

"No, I'm free. Dinner and a movie as usual?" Stef asked.

Lena pondered for a moment. "It's the weekend, why not do brunch instead?"

Stef had never "done brunch" in her life, but with Lena it seemed she was in for a lot of firsts. "Sure. Where does one 'do brunch'?"

"Just come to my place around 10:00. We'll figure it out from there."

Stef wiped her palms on her slacks and knocked on Lena's apartment door. She normally loved dressing in her favorite, worn jeans on the weekend, but something about brunch sounded like it required dressing up. She had even ironed her blue button-down shirt and foregone rolling up the sleeves. She wasn't totally comfortable in the outfit, but then again she wasn't feeling comfortable in her own skin these days.

Of course Lena was wearing jeans and a casual cotton top. But she looked fabulous in them, not sloppy, like Stef would have. So much for my assumptions about brunch.

"Stef!" Lena exclaimed. "You look great! I was thinking we'd go to this little bistro a couple of blocks away, over by the waterfront. Do you mind walking?"

Stef looked down at her loafer-covered feet. They weren't heels or anything, but they were hardly her most comfortable shoes.

"Sure, we can walk." She eyed Lena's sandals with jealousy.

It turned out brunch was just eating normal food at an odd time of day. Stef had skipped breakfast so as to get the full brunch experience, so she enjoyed every bite of her steak and eggs platter. She also managed not to mock Lena's egg white omelette. But, really, what was the point if you left out the delicious part?

"So what else do you have going on today?" Lena made conversation between bites.

Stef considered. She really was pretty much a homebody on the weekends, not taking advantage of her time alone. She didn't want Lena to think she was a loser with no life, but nothing exciting came to mind.

"Nothing. I should clean the house and make some food to freeze for the week, but I can do that tomorrow," Stef shrugged lamely. "What about you?"

Lena smiled broadly. "I have no plans whatsoever. I think this is the first weekend in awhile I haven't had any obligations with school or plans with friends. I'm looking forward to going wherever the spirit leads me. It's a beautiful day - we could go for a walk on the beach after we're done here?"

Lena looked so hopeful, Stef didn't have the heart to refuse. She was wearing the totally wrong outfit for beachcombing, but she'd make the best of it. Plus, she could probably use a walk after the meal she was eating.

Both women put on their sunglasses as they stepped outside. Lena took a deep breath and let it out. "Vitamin D, here we come."

They walked a couple of blocks to the nearest public entrance to the beach. Once they got to the end of the boardwalk, Stef paused. She couldn't walk in the sand in her loafers, but she didn't have anywhere to put them. Oh well. Better to carry them than to ruin them.

She reached down to take off one shoe, trying to balance on the other foot. Lena realized what Stef was attempting and reached out her hand, grabbing Stef's and steadying her. Stef's head shot up as she figured out why she wasn't falling over anymore. There was an electric moment between them, as their eyes locked, and then Stef had to look away. She fumbled with one shoe, then the other.

Now barefoot in the sand, she reached down again to roll up her pant legs, then rolled up her sleeves. She still didn't feel quite like herself, but this helped. She picked up her shoes and looked up at Lena again.

"Did you have anything in mind, or do you just want to wander?" she asked.

"Wandering sounds good. We can people-watch and guess what their lives are like." The two set off down the beach, not quite near enough the waves to get wet.

"Guess?" Stef asked with a smile. "I'm a cop - I don't need to guess. I'm like Sherlock Holmes."

Lena laughed. "Oh, really? So what's that guy's story over there?" She pointed at a 60-ish bald man wearing knee socks, sandals, and a clashing Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts, arm-in-arm with a beautiful 20-something woman.

Stef pondered a moment. "He's a bigwig at the State Department, and she's a Russian spy. He has a weakness for pedicures - which explains why he's wearing socks - and she posed as a beautician to get close to him. Pretty soon she's going to poison him with tainted nail polish and steal his laptop."

"Wow, you really do know what you're talking about." Lena was amused. This was the perfect way to spend a Saturday - relaxing and having fun with a friend. Just a friend. It's what normal women did, right?

"Okay, your turn. Show me what you've got. What's the deal with that lady?" Stef chose a 30-ish woman with short hair, walking along with a man around the same age and a dog.

"She's clearly a lesbian, and he's her beard. She's at the beach today to meet her secret lover - see how she's not paying attention to the guy and is looking over at that redhead on that towel?"

Stef's mouth went dry. "So, is that gaydar or whatever? You can just sense who's gay and who's not?" If that was the case, what did Lena think about her?

Lena looked over at Stef, who seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden. She got the sense this was a more serious question than perhaps their joking game would indicate.

"Oh, I don't know," she tried to keep it light. "It's not like it's one hundred percent or anything. But sometimes I get a vibe. I think people recognize people like themselves, or they get attuned to stereotypical attributes and notice them."

"What about you? I'm not saying I have gaydar or anything, but you don't seem to have too many 'stereotypical attributes'. Not that I think all lesbians are butch man-haters or anything like that," Stef hurried to clarify, lest Lena take what she said the wrong way.

Lena let out a laugh. "I guess gay people come in all shapes and sizes. I'm an epic softball player, if that helps maintain your worldview."

"It does, thank you." Stef was relieved Lena wasn't offended. She pressed on with another question.

"How did you know? That you were gay, I mean. Or a lesbian, or whatever you want to be called." Nope, that one didn't come out right either.

Lena, in her usual way, seemed to see right through Stef's inquiry. She gave Stef an appraising look before answering, her tone light.

"Well, I think I was always attracted to women, though it wasn't until high school I could put a name on it. I tried dating a couple of guys, just to fit in, but it didn't feel right. Then I heard someone call Julie Anderson a dyke and I went home and asked my mom about it. It was the mid '90's, so people weren't terribly accepting, but my mom was very non-judgmental in her answer. I think she had an inkling of what was going on with me, but for once she didn't push. She was just empowering in her 'no-one-should-let-other-people-dictate-how-they-live-their-

lives' kind of way." Lena gave a wry smile as she recalled her mother's speech about women not needing men and how they should stand tall and own their truth.

Stef smiled back. "So, does that mean they were fine when you actually told them?"

"Pretty much. They were a little uncomfortable when I introduced them to my first girlfriend, but overall they were great. They recognized that their relationship would have been looked down on not so many years before - and still was by some - so they were sympathetic."

They walked along in companionable silence, until they reached a less crowded stretch of beach and Lena suggested they sit for awhile.

Stef looked down at her slacks and decided to suck it up. So what if she got sand in her pants? When was the last time she had taken the time to just sit and look out at the ocean? Lena, already leaning back on her hands with her legs stretched out in front of her and her eyes closed, seemed like the kind of person to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty around her or something similarly poetic.

Stef put down her shoes and tried to get comfortable. The cop in her scanned the area for anything suspicious, but she tried to relax and enjoy just doing nothing. Just as she closed her eyes and settled into the warmth, Lena spoke up.

"What are your thoughts on DVDs?"

Stef's brow furrowed as she tried to process the non sequiter. "I can't say I have any. Why?"

Lena sat up and turned towards Stef. "Well, we've been watching a fair amount of movies lately, and I hear how great DVDs are compared to VHS. Maybe I should get a DVD player. The selection at Blockbuster for DVDs is getting as big as the videos."

"I'm something of an if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it person, but if this is anything like the 8-track to tape to CD progression you may as well hop on the bandwagon."

"Ha! I haven't bought a tape in years! I remember my first, though. Whitney Houston's self-titled album."

"Nice. Mine was Billy Idol's Rebel Yell."

"Seriously?" Lena looked over with a smile.

"What? It was my tiny way of sticking it to my dad's religiosity." Stef shrugged.

"Fair enough. So, what do you think? Should we go shopping?" Lena pulled her legs under her and moved to stand up.

Stef's brow furrowed. "Shopping? For what?"

Lena laughed. "A DVD player. Try to keep up."

This day was not turning out quite like Stef expected, or like any she had spent in awhile. Brunch, the beach, and now shopping. She hated shopping. But for Lena…

"Sure. I have no other plans."

"Great! Let's go!"

Shopping with Lena wasn't like shopping by herself. Stef would usually just get the cheapest version of whatever she was looking for and be done. Lena kept reading all the fine print on all the different models and asking the salesperson at Best Buy lots of questions.

Lena enjoyed making an informed decision and, if she was honest with herself, she got a kick out of asking Stef her opinion on things and watching the other woman try to act like she had one. When she was finally satisfied with her selection, the two made their way to the checkout line.

"I don't want to monopolize your day, but I was thinking it only makes sense to test this thing out. Should we do our usual Friday night routine even though it's Saturday?" Lena looked hopefully at Stef.

Saturday was usually when Stef finally swept all of the Cheerios out from under the kitchen table and did the laundry and bought food for the week. But she hadn't yet figured out a way to say no to the beautiful woman in front of her - so she didn't.

"Sure. Sounds like fun." She hesitated a moment. "But do you mind if I run by my house and change clothes?"

Lena looked Stef up and down and laughed. "Of course. Lounging on the couch requires appropriate lounging attire."

"Yeah, not brunching attire," Stef mumbled. Lena smirked but didn't comment.