Twilight Phantom Dragonm - Thanks for being my first reviewer. Much appreciated and sorry it took so long. I kept working on it but I could not lift the spirit of the work below. It will lighten up a little but that is drama for you.
venus9814 - wow, your review was very happy! Happy is good :) again, sorry for the delay. This story is a little difficult to right because of the seriousness of it and all. I do tend to write little one-shots just to ease up my writing a bit.
xSoraCloudx - aw, thanks for liking the story. Where is it set...well that is a good question. I tend not to give location to my stories because I think in everyone's mind, you set the story in your own place. I read many books that do not focus on the location in which the story takes place. But in my mind - I would say the location is mid-states of America. Matt I always pictured in Switzerland, England, France - around that area. Really though - I'm leaving it up to the readers.
Depression of the soul, how can one describe the way that feels for those who never felt the true despair. It is of a war raging within. It's you against a thousand thoughts and no hero in sight to save you from yourself. It knows that you are broken but having no means to put the pieces back to make it right. It's not knowing what makes you feel as you do but enough to know that it isn't how you should feel. It's being drowned by the world and the dreadful tiredness of struggling for the surfaces as each wave crashes down upon you. Rolling you under the wave, taken your breath away.
What of the other side of the depression. The side of those on the other end who watch the struggle and are unable to help. Afraid to push too far or not to push far enough. To hold on tight in fear their love one would slip away or afraid that holding on would cause the other to bolt too far. It's like walking on ice so thin that the ice buckles under the weight. Thin vein like cracks zips through the ice wall, threaten to break into pieces. Sometimes it does and then what? Where do you go from there?
Matt blinked his brilliant blue eyes a few times before shifting his tall form into a sitting position. The back seat of the rented jeep was not an ideal sleeping spot. Not for someone of his height. He glanced up at the review mirror in time to catch his father's warm brown eyes flicker on him. Matt quickly averted his vision to the passing of the trees and shrubs that grew endlessly along the rough, dirt road. The jeep hit another small dip in the road, no doubt created from years of pounding rain that were never nor will ever be patched up.
"We're almost there, tiger." His father called from the driver's seat with false happiness in his voice.
'Tiger' Matt gave an inward grin. His father seemed to fall back on pet names far too often lately. Matt lolled his head against the car's window, wanting to feel its coolness against his feverish head. They were heading to some kind of lake side cabin, one that Matt had been to once before, when he was very young. When he was naïve, carefree, a child. When his family was together.
He loved the summers at the lake with the other children. The campfires, catching bugs and frogs, watching clouds, swimming until evening and the cookouts with charcoal burgers and hot dogs. He missed the silent time he spent with his father and little brother during late night fishing. Of course the silence didn't come until Tk was curled up against his father's side, snuggled in a blanket Malcolm brought along.
Those kids, Matt almost forgotten about them. He had been neighbors with two of them, or was it three of them? That was before his mother, Nancy destroyed the family. Matt, wanting to stay with his father, moved across seas and hadn't seen them since. Of course his little brother would visit several times a year.
The children belong to that of his father's close friends. Friends that stayed together through out their entire school life, from grade school to college and through adulthood. Friends like that are rare. Matt loved when his father took him back to the past, to his childhood memories and at one time, he envied his father for the close bond of his friendship. Recently, Matt realized that he had that same bond through his band mates; he just never saw it until he needed it.
His father would meet with his friends at least once a year at the cabin for a reunion of sorts. Malcolm always looked forward to the reunion and his excitement would spread like fire to his boys who would bounce on the bed as his father would tell those stories of his own childhood as he packed..
The problem then came to be that Malcolm's friends were also Nancy's friends so naturally after the separation turned into a divorcé, she was still welcome at the cabin. Malcolm did not want to go the first year, nor did Matt.
When TK would visit, the boy brought pictures of the reunion he still attend with Nancy. He brought the pictures for their father to see and the stories that went with each picture. He tried to share some of the pictures with Matt, but his older brother had no desire to look at them. They were of people he barely knew and their kids. They were of Nancy too and a few years later, of his step-father he never met.
For Mr. Ishida, time did heal the broken heart. The woman he had loved was no more nor was he the same man Nancy married many years ago. So it wasn't that Mr. Ishida couldn't stand being in the same house as Nancy, well in parts it was the reason but that was in the earlier stages of the separation. It was because Matt refused to see her. He would fight his father over the topic each time it was brought up. Matt knew it was selfish but he just couldn't help it. He told his father to go, enjoy the trip and that he would be safe and sound at his grandmother's house.
Mr. Ishida stayed though, missing the reunion every year. Telling his friends, "I'll be there next year." Every year, his friends would call to remind him of the reunion, they never gave up on him. This went on for many years and now, the trip was set in motion but the matter that sent things into action was based on trying to save a life.
The disturbed surface was caused by a toss of a rock and the gulping sound that followed as the lake swallows the heavy lump. Tk picked another rock up and bounced it in his hands to feel its weight before giving it a toss at the lake. It landed with a hollow echo of gulping as the first one did.
"If you throw like that during baseball season, you might be able to knock out the batter." Tai scuffed, walking up to the blonde with his hands shoved in his short's pocket. "In the meantime, it's the fish that are worried. An inbound flying object from the world of above where the air is dry and, well you know."
"Hey." Tk muttered, finding another rock near the bank of the lake. "Why worried about the fish? You like them well enough during dinner."
"Hey to you." Tai spotted a skipping stone and gave it a side toss. The stone cut through the surface four times before it plunked into the depths of the lake. Tk watched it from where he stood, not saying a word.
Tai scuffed the watery soil with the toe of his worn out sneakers. "I'm lost here Tk." Tai spoke softly. "I don't know how to help you. I want to be able to do something for you. We all do." Tai gestured back towards the frame of trees where silently the other friends waited and watched. They sat on large boulder stones jabbing out from the earth or leaned against a thick trunk of a tree.
"Yeah, I know." Tk slipped off his hat, folding it against his leg and turned to his friend. Under his eyes were dark indication of lack of sleep and the white of his eyes, scorched with tint of red from a night of crying in silence. "I'm not the one to worry about though, am I? I mean, how do I help him? How do I know he won't try it again? Can you imagine being in a world that you feel so alone, that what he did is the only way he felt to escape it?"
'What he did' Tai flinched at the words. Tk couldn't even say it but opt to choose words to fit around it.
"Mom blames dad." Tk told him as he placed his hat back on top of his head. "She thinks this wouldn't have happen if Matt stayed with her. Dad probably blames himself too."
"What do you think?" Tai sat down on the stony foundation, not caring if his backside got wet.
Tk gave a dry laugh. He didn't think it really matter what he thought, his parents are going to believe whatever they wanted.
"Do you think he would have been better off with you and your mom?" Tai asked again, wrapping his arms around his legs.
"No." Tk looked back over at the silent lake. "I think things would have been worse because Mom…Mom wouldn't understand him. He's a lot like dad."
"Yeah, he was always a little weird like that." Tai joked. "But if I recalled, he was always willing to get into a mud battle."
Tk grinned remembering when the older kids tossed mud at each other until every each of their bodies were caked with the watery dirt mixture.
"Remember how he had us all go looking for grasshoppers for fishing bait?" Sora slide from the slope, the others were following close behind her.
"He always threw my shoes up in the trees." Davis barked.
"They were bushes, Davis." Izzy informed him.
"Looked like trees back then." Davis sat on an old washed up log. Jun, Kari and Izzy sat down beside him. Mimi preferred to stand with her hands behind her back and her eyes locked on the ground for spiders. Joe found a nice rock that looked almost like it was meant to be sat on. Almost…he winced and shifted his weight.
"I always like shadow tag." Tai beamed. "Jumping on your shadows' head."
Izzy laughed, "Remember when you and Matt started howling at the moon!" Izzy slapped his leg. "And…and Davis thought you guys were werewolves!"
"You guys made me watch that wolf-man movie the night before." Davis frowned. "And you guys had bite marks on your arms!"
"Yeah." Tai grinned, thinking back to his younger days. "We bite ourselves, just enough to make teeth impression."
"I remember tag and kiss." Jun smiled and winked at the other two girls.
"Funny thing about that was that Matt and Tai were the only ones who got chased." Joe muttered.
"Aw, poor Joey." Mimi rubbed his shoulders.
"Fun times." Tai sighed, sitting up finally with a clap of his hands. "And we will have more of them. Hopefully more tag and kiss. Back then, I didn't understand it completely."
"Now?" Sora looked up at him as he offered her a hand.
"I have been enlighted." Tai smirked.
"We'll get through this together, Tk." Mimi slipped her arm through the younger boy's and steered him back to the cabin.
"Yeah, it's the reason why your dad wanted him brought here." Joe told Tk. "To get away from the public eye. My dad will help and Matt will get the rest he needs."
"Joe's right. Dr. Kiddo is one of the finest doctors." Sora leaned against the other side of Tk.
"I thought he healed broken bones not mental stuff." Davis scratched his head.
"Why do you need to be a moron?" Tai slapped the back of his head.
"What?" Davis rubbed the back of his head. "What did I say wrong?"
"Dad is educated in more then one doctor degree. He just likes one over the other." Joe explained to Davis and others who might have been aware. "He said that with help of medication and just, you know talking might be all Matt really needs. Not that he won't ever slip back or anything. Its something he will have forever but he's aware of it and everyone else who can help him is aware of it."
"Yeah, I know." Tk leaned against Mimi with a heavy heart, her fragrance smelled of warmth and sweatiness. Her hair brushed gently against his jaw as he spoke. "Just, Matt really isn't one to pour out his feelings."