Firstly, a big thank you to all of my reviewers so far: Thess, Alucard's Bane and Death's Integrity. I will try not to disappoint…

Secondly, the obligatory disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or Prince William. I am not making any money from this, ergo, if you try to sue, I will rip out your throat.

The sun was nearing zenith by the time Sir Integra Hellsing made her way down to the basement. The dim hallways were cool, even in the hottest part of the summer, and the light provided by the low-power fluorescents was not enough to illuminate all the shadows. Integra's boot-heels clicked on the stone flagstones…click…click…click. And, on the far end of the hallway, a vampire stirred.

Integra knocked on the heavy steel door. "Alucard?" "Alucard?" A voice answered, as if from a great distance. "Master…" Integra pushed down on the handle, and heaved open the door. This was one part of the basement she had not been in since she was a child. She looked around at the darkness that was illuminated from the hallway's pitiful light.

Nothing had changed. The outer room, almost the size of Integra's study, was full of clutter – artifacts of the vampire's curiosity through the ages. Rusting swords, a mishmash of furniture, pieces of what could only be an early steam engine…but something new had been added to the room, something prominently illuminated by the cone of light coming through the open doorway. So that's where my old 486 went. Carefully, Sir Integra made her way through the room, and into the hallway beyond.

Fit for a King, Integra mused, as she entered her vampire's sanctuary. Rich but tasteful furniture, upholstered in a deep Prussian blue, dotted the room. A large, gilded coffin occupied the center. For the first time, Integra smiled. Why did I always think that Alucard's bed was more comfortable than mine? I guess every child harbors a secret liking for closed, hidden spaces. Walking up to the coffin, she rapped on its cover smartly.

"Alucard! Wake up!"

The cover moved aside, seemingly of its own accord. "Master, do you know what time it is?"

"11:30 in the morning. And I apologize for waking you during the daylight hours, but our presence has been requested at Buckingham palace. I know how out-of-sorts you can be at rude awakenings, so I came myself."

"Master! I am touched you care!" Alucard's grin was back in place, somehow managing to look both menacing and mocking at the same time. Sir Integra averted her gaze from his naked chest and torso. Thankfully, deep blue silken sheets covered the rest of the vampire.

"You shouldn't be surprised I would care for Walter's health, Alucard. And since when do you sleep in the nude?"

"Ever since a certain young Hellsing stopped sleeping in my coffin with me. And is it only Walter that prompts your concern?"

"Let's get moving – we have to be at the palace by 1:00 for a lunch meeting with His Majesty."

"As my Master commands."

Sir Integra turned, walking out the door. At the threshold, she turned back nonchalantly, tossing something into the coffin. "Here…this will make you less testy." Alucard grinned, ripping open a blood pack with his teeth.

The sleek Rolls Royce pulled out of the Hellsing family estate, making its way east on Kensington Road. The closer they came to the palace, the thicker the crowds became.

"What is all this?"

"Apparently the protests we've been hearing about, Sir. It was on the telly this morning – crowds are picketing Buckingham Palace." The driver was one of the few veterans of Hellsing, retired from active duty.

"This is intolerable! At this rate, we will be late!"

"I could cut a path through them for you, Master. Blood red would be a much better color for your vehicle."

"Enough, Alucard!"

"There's something to be said for making an entrance, no, Master?"

"Shut up, Alucard!"

By the time they reached Knightsbridge, the car had slowed to a crawl. The noise level outside the tinted windows was rising, and intermittently, someone would hit or thump the car. Sir Integra glanced at her watch. "It's 12:30. It will be impossible for us to get through this by 1:00." She was grinding her teeth in frustration.

"My offer still stands, Master?"

"Which one?" snapped Integra, "You insist on making so many offers in a day, no sane person could keep track of them all."

"Aww, did I make poor Master's head hurt?"

"Shut up, Alucard. We're walking."

"But Sir! The security escort is stuck back on Gloucester! They'll never make it here on time!"

"That's fine, Michael. I don't need to be protected from a silly mob."

"That's what I said the last time I was in Romania, Master, and look what that got me."

"That's because you're a bloodsucking parasite, Alucard." With a snarl, Sir Integra opened the car door. It was promptly pushed shut, quite violently, by someone outside. A distinct shout of "Take that, you bloody rich parasite," was heard. Sir Integra's face began turning red in fury. The thumping on the car grew more insistent from all sides.

"That's it!" With a savage cry, she wrenched open the door, shoving whoever was standing outside to the ground. In the moment of surprise, she got out of the car with her customary rage-fueled grace. Quickly, Alucard followed.

"Hey look, it's a bloody woman!" Faces were turning to look at them. Unbeknownst to all but Integra, Alucard's eyes were beginning to smolder behind his sunglasses. Slamming the car door shut with a vengeance, Sir Integra grabbed Alucard by the hand, and shouldered her way through the crowd.

"Oh, We quite understand, Lady Hellsing," said the King, "The peasants are getting quite annoying, aren't they?"

The man's a tit, Master.

Shut up, Alucard. He is still your King.

It's not like he can hear us.

Alucard and Integra were standing in front of King William's desk. He had not yet allowed them to sit.

He has the manners of an ass, too. Between his looks, his voice and his personality, we could make us a complete golem. Complete minus the head, of course.

Not allowing us to sit is his prerogative. Or would you respect his manners more if he impaled us in his backyard for afternoon tea?

Touché, Master. Not that I would allow you to be impaled by anyone other than myself.

Shut up, Alucard.

"In regards to this new…unrest," began the King, oblivious to the unspoken conversation, "The breadth of Our resources, in the form of Hellsing, has very recently come to our attention. Quite an array of weapons you have, Lady Integra."

"To serve my King and Country, Your Majesty."

"Indeed. And we have a task for you. Sit down, sit down!"

The knight and vampire took their seats, as the King walked around, half-sitting on the desk right in front of Sir Integra. The physical proximity was making Integra uncomfortable, but her pride would not allow her to lean back. The King did not speak for a few moments, letting the silence lengthen.

"What would you have us do, Sire?" asked Sir Integra. The King stared at her for a few moments, completely ignoring Alucard's presence.

"You have been harshly used by my grandmother, Integra." William brought up a finger to gently caress her cheek. Integra's eyes widened, and this time she did lean back.

"Sire?"

"We would not use you so, Integra. You are young, capable, if a bit masculine, but I am sure I would find a woman beneath that suit."

He needs to die, now!

Alucard!

I will paint his pretty room red!

"Sire, this is highly inappropriate." Anyone who knew Integra would have been thoroughly alarmed by the tightness of her voice. William took it for something other than anger.

"Is it? You would make a good queen-consort, Integra. We can ignore the…brown taint…in your blood, if We so choose."

"Sire?" this came out in a whisper.

Don't listen to him, Integra. For the first time, a hint of pleading entered the Vampire's voice. If you wish to be queen, you can be queen of something far greater.

Oh, shut up, Alucard. The anger had leeched from Integra's voice, to be replaced by an amused disgust. I'm not about to fall into William's bed for the honor of being a figurehead. I wonder what he wants, to dangle such a lure?

Abruptly, William turned, walking to his windows, and threw open the curtains. The noontime sun lit up the room, and Alucard snarled, raising a hand to shield his eyes. William cast a cruel smile over his shoulder in the vampire's direction, a smile that Integra did not miss.

"And what service would I have to perform for that particular honor?" Asked Integra. Even William could not miss the bitter sarcasm in her voice.

Then again, maybe he could. "I want you and your pet there," the King said, gesturing towards Alucard, "to rid me of these upstart commoners. Kill them; turn them into ghouls, whatever. Just get rid of Turnham and his party, and whatever other resistance you may encounter."

Even Alucard seemed shocked. And perhaps, grudgingly, a little impressed.

How Dare He? "How dare you?" vocalized Integra, standing up. The King seemed shocked at her outburst. "We are not your pet mercenary assassins, Your Majesty. Hellsing hunts vampires, not inconvenient politicians."

A petulant anger began to glimmer in the King's eyes. "Lady Integra, need I remind you that the survival of the Hellsing Organization is contingent upon the survival of the monarchy?"

"The survival of the Hellsing Organization is rather more dependent on its mandate, and the honor of its leader." For the first time, Alucard spoke, his lazy drawl not masking the menace in the vampire's voice.

"The honor of its leader? A woman who acts like a man, and fornicates with a vampire?"

What? Does he actually think I…do that …with you?

A mind as filthy as our William's must be an interesting thing to possess. What is more telling, Master, is that he seems to have offered to marry you even when he believes you are having carnal relations with a 'walking corpse'. Our King's tastes may be more…deviant than previously thought.

How Dare He!

"So tell me, Sir Integra, how is Ceres Victoria in bed?"

"Sir Integra? What happened?" the aging butler asked as Integra stalked into the Hellsing manor fuming. Without a word, she walked up the staircase and disappeared into her study, slamming the door.

"Lord Alucard?"

"Well, King William attempted to seduce my Master…"

"What? How dare he?"

"People are using that phrase a lot today, Angel of Death. There's more. He ordered her to turn his political opponents into ghouls. Then, after accusing her of being a lesbian vampire lover, offered to marry her. When she refused, he threatened to destroy Hellsing."

Walter was struck speechless for a moment. "No, that cannot be true!"

"Every word. Ask her yourself, since you seem to doubt me. Though I would wait a few hours for her to calm down, unless you are particularly fond of Swiss cheese."

"Good Lord. How did she react?"

"She politely refused and withdrew while the boy was still ranting. She didn't draw her gun till we were well out of the palace grounds."

"Watch her, Lord Alucard. She's repressing again. I don't want her to hurt anyone, including herself."

"Have I told you, Walter, how much I dislike the Swiss?"