Remember, we don't own anything except Owl, Wish, and the plot!
[In the mental hospital]
Lobby lady: Who are you here to visit?
Me: lalalalalaaaaa
Lobby lady: I see. *Picks up phone*
Lady: do we have an open room?
Me: DO you have a bank here?
Lady: Yes. *Hangs up phone* It's around the corner, at the second right.
Me: THANK YOU! *runs off in that direction*
[At the "bank"...]
Me: PUT ALL YOU GOT IN DA BAG!
[There is only one person in the room]
Him: OK! FINE! *shoves his shoes in the bag* THERE! HAPPY?!
Me: O.O Whut?
Him: WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL? *Pulls out gun*
Me:*Shoots guy in head*
*Starkit bursts into room*
[Back into da editing room]
Me: WOAH! YOU DID NOT HAVE TO BRING STARKIT INTO THIS! And how in the world did I get the gun?
Producer: Time machine.
Me: Of course, *chuckles* the time machine. *pulls out gun*
Starkit: My precious, don't run away!
Me: *screams, freaks out, and shoots at Starkit*
Starkit:YOU WON'T ESCAPE! *Shoots spider webs*
Me: Wait...wasn't that a quote from The Wizard of Oz? *pulls out bucket of water* Either way, you won't like this. *pours water on Starkit*
Starkit: *turns into robot*
Me: What th- *gets tasered by the Starkit robot.*
[20 minutes of excruciating pain later]
Me: Why... IS IT ALWAYS A TASER?!
Robot: why are you still alive?
Me: YOU HAVEN'T PEPPER SPRAY- Oh shoot. No...forget I said-
Robot: *salt sprays*
Me: *screams head off* HEY MR. PRODUCER PERSON? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?!
Producer: *sips coffe* You're doing great, hon. Just keep doing what you're doing.
Me: THIS ISN'T AN ACT, IDIOT!
*therapist walks in*
Therapist: So, how do you feel about this?
Me: I HATE THERAPISTS! AND YOU AREN'T MY THERAPIST! *pepper sprays therapist*
Therapist: *runs out of room screaming*
Producer: How DO you feel about this?
Me: Awful. Ooh, no...THIS FEELS GOOD! *pepper sprays producer*
Producer: OW! MY EYES!
Me: That did feel good... I HOLD THE POWER OF THE WORLD IN MY HAND! BWAHAHAHA-
Starkit: I want to know, how is your social life going?
Me: AMAZING! *tasers Starkit* *laughs, going insane*
[In police precinct]
Interrogator: You know, you should really stop tasering people.
Me: Why did no one else get arrested for tasering me?
Interrogator: You could file a complaint.
Me: I couldn't even get a lawyer...
Interrogator: We can provide one for you.
Me: I asked for one, and you said no. Can I go home now?
Interrogator: No.
Me: Well, then I want a lollipop.
Interrogator: Why do you want a-
Me: BECAUSE I WANT ONE!
Interrogator: *walks to door, and sticks head out* Can you get the mental hospital on the line?
Me: Laaaaaalalalalalala... Is it the one with that nice lady and the bank?
Interrogator: *stares at me*
Me: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Interrogator: MAKE IT QUICK!
[Few hours later...]
Me: This room is so drab. It's all white. It need some paint. Like, a mural. Or something. Do you have any paint? I could fix this up.
Lady: We have some death pills. You want one?
Me: SURE! But wait... do you know if they taste good?
Lady: I dunno...But I guess they do. I'll go get one for you. *turns around, but immediately faces me again to taser me*
Me: THAT'S NOT A DEATH PILL!
[Couple minutes later, back in the editing room]
Me: *Looks at statement above* I thought we were in the editing room hours ago...
Producer: We were?
Me: *facepalm* Everyone is mind-dead.
*doctor bursts in door*
Me: Oh, hey, look. It's that part-time diabetes guy.
Doctor: No, I'm the full time one now.
Me: Oh. Congrats on the promotion.
Doctor: I didn't get promoted.
Me: Then... What the...
Doctor: I'm his twin brother.
Me: Oh. OK. So...why are you here?
Doctor: To give you this.
*Another epic game screen pops up*
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GOT...
MONONUCLEOSIS!
Me: Another? You guys must love me...
Random guy in the distance: I DO!
Me: Yeah...someone shoot him. *gunshot* THANK YOU!
Doctor: Who did that?
*door suddenly falls over*
Me: I bet you-
Owl:ON THE GROUND! NOW!
Me: So it's totally deja vu... Oh, hey Owl. How you been?
Owl: SILENCE! *Tasers*
Me: OWL! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO *gets tasered again*
Owl: hehehirnvsi dfvsknd cskd,mc I FEEL GREAT!
Me: Ow...
[Precinct. Again.]
Me: Where's Owl?
Police guy: Who's Owl?
Me: You know, Owl.
Police: Owl?
Me: Yes, Owl.
Police: Who's that?
Owl: Hoot Hoot
Me: Bark...I'm named after a dog! *morphs into dog* WHAT THE-
Police: GET ANIMAL CONTROL! NOW!
Owl: *flys out open window by the donut cop* LIKE A BOSS!
Me: Now, see? Why can't I just fly out windows? OK, here, let's see. I'M A DOVE! *morphs into a duck* Good enough.
Owl: *Flies in with chainsaw* DIE POLICE! DIE!
Hopekit: Wai wohuld u eate animikals?
Owl: DIE HOPEKIT! *Swings chainsaw at her*
SWAT team: *Knock down door* Owl, you are under arrest for animal cruelty!
Owl: But I am just a bird! *Flys up* *Gets caught in laser beam* Nooo!
[Later]
Me: You really should have let Owl kill Hopekit. She's getting on my nerves.
Hopekit: Whi u alk so man to meh?
Me: Can I leave now?
*Sees that I am talking to no one.*
Me: Oh, so you just leave me here to die? FINE! I DIDN'T LIKE YOU ANYWAY!
Guy: *Walks in with a baseball bat*
Me: No! Don't hurt me! I am innocent!
Guy: Oh really? Then why are you in a jail cell?
Me: *Looks around* Oh, that's why the toilet is in the open! You guys really need to fix that. I could use some privacy when taking my shower in there.
Hopekit: Wai u uses me dreken fontan as bah?
Me: What did you just say?
Hopekit: I sah, whi yu ues my druken foutian as a bauth?!
Me: This is hopeless.
Hopekit: Mai muomy sahs I spesial
Me: Yes, Hopekit, you are definitely "Spesial". NOW LET ME OUT!
Guy: *Chucks bat at my head.*
Me: Why is that bat getting bigger? *gets hit in the head with baseball bat* *blacks out*
[Wakes up in operation room]
Me: What's going on here?
Doctor: Well, I was worried about your facepalming, so I re-engineered your face.
Me My...my face? *facepalms*
Doctor: NO! DON'T DO THAT!
Me: Oh. Right. Do I get kidney failure or something now? I feel really tired all of a sudden...
Doctor: That's probably your mononucleosis.
Me: Can cats even get mono?
Doctor: But you're not a cat.
Me: Yes, I am! MEOW! SEE?! SEE?!
Doctor: I can do that too. Meow.
Me: It's not the same.
Doctor: How is it not the same? That's exactly what you did.
Me: I said it without grinning like an idiot.
Doctor: Buh...but...I'm not an idiot.
Me: What if I said you were, for not believing I'm a cat?
Doctor: *runs out of room, crying his head off*
Me: Oh...that's gross. *picks up doctor's head*
[Meanwhile...]
Cat: Meow.
Kitty: HISS!
Cat: o.O
Kitty: =P
Cat: Mew?
Kitty: Mrrow.
Cat: XD
Kitty: Mew?
Owl: SHUT UP!
[Operating room]
Me: But my face looks the same.
Doctor: What do you mean? It looks totally different.
Me: It looks like a cat.
Doctor: I don't even know how that works.
Me: It works because I'm a cat anyway.
Doctor: No you're not.
Me: Yes I am.
Doctor: No.
Me: Yes.
Doctor: No!
Me:Yes!
Doctor: NO!
Me: YES!
*door flies open*
Me: That's awesome...where'd you guys get flying doors?!
Doctor: Uh... eBay.
Me: Do they sell flying kitty doors?
Doctor: Why do you need flying kitty doors?
Me: *facepalm* I'M A CAT!
Doctor: Stop facepalming, or I will give you hysteria.
Me: *laughs hysterically*
Doctor: Well, I see you already have it. *Gets slapped*
Me: hgsbhdjnkcxjnsiyeb fsc I FEEL AMAZING!
Doctor: Are you high?
Me: I don't do drugs. Hehehe...SUJGANCKMAWEBWSCDJSKWJE N *falls off table* OW!
Doctor: Suuuuuure...
Me: DO A DRUG TEST OR SOMETHING THEN!?
Doctor: *performs the test* You took drugs.
Me: WHAT?! NO I DIDN'T! THAT NICE LADY AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL GAVE ME PILLS! AND THEN I HAD BLUEBERRY MUFFINS!
Doctor: Well that's great then. You want these? *holds out knockout pills*
Me: Sure! *eats them* *passes out*
[Meanwhile, in an interrogation room]
Interrogator: Why did you attempt to kill a cat?
Owl: I'm an owl.
Interrogator. I can see that.
Owl: I eat cats.
Interrogator: I thought you ate mice.
Owl: Hopekit is one ugly mouse then.
Interrogator: But she's a cat.
Owl: Too bad. She needed to die. *Watch thingy beeps* I need to get out of here! *Flies out window*
[Outside Me and Owl meet up]
Me: Ready for this mission? *Pulls out iPad*
Owl: Totally. *Pulls out gun*
Me: *Googles "Where is Justin Bieber right now?"* *Copies address onto sticky note* Let's go.
[A few hours and an incredibly long bus trip later...]
Me: *Breaks through glass door*
Owl: *Follows in behind*
Me: NOW WHERE IS HE?!
Owl: OVER THERE! UPSTAIRS ON THE COUCH! *Reading FaceBook page*
Both Me and Owl: *Run up the stairs* *Turn corner* THERE HE IS!
*Shoots*
Me: *runs over and kicks Justin Bieber off of couch*
Owl: *Slams his head into TV across the room*
Me: *throws TV out window*
Owl: *Pulls "Girlfriend" perfume out of his bathroom and shoves it up his nose*
Me: *starts a fire and throws all the records into it* Ah...That felt GREAT!
Owl: *Replaces his garbage with a mural that says "Hootowls were here!"*
Me: *high fives Owl* That was fun.
Owl: *High fives back* We should do this again, if he is even still alive.
SWAT team: *Breaks down door* YOU'RE BOTH UNDER ARREST!
Owl: YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Me: *faints*
Owl and Me: *Taken away*
[Wish: Review our magnificent work! Owl worked a lot more on this one than last one, but it was a team job in the end! Thank you to all those beautiful people reading this and have a great day! Also, the whole Justin Bieber thing was not meant to offend anyone.]
(Owl: But we weren't kidding about the other part. Owl City is perfect.)