Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Bryke and Nickelodeon, not me. Neither does Aladdin; it belongs to Disney.

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Zuko scowled as he followed his sister down the hallway. "Don't make that face at me, Zuzu," Azula snapped. He rolled his eyes.

A petite girl in a white dress stomped past them. "Move!" she demanded.

Zuko hopped out of her way. "Who was that?" he said.

"The princess, you dum-dum," Azula said.

"Wait, I thought that the princess was just an urban legend," he objected.

"She's not," Azula said. "Her father just feels the need to be overprotective. If you ask me, I think parents really ought let their children have more freedom."

"You're just saying that because Dad won't let us come home until we've found the avatar."

"Shut up."

"You know I'm right."

"I said shut up, you little scarab beetle."

"I'm telling Mom."

"Mom's dead."

"No, she's not. I think she just left. It was really unclear."

"Oh, stop it!" Azula huffed. She paused outside of the throne room. "Let's get our stories straight. We need the key to the royal library."

"Right," Zuko said. "So we can research the ancient Earth Kingdom tradition of giving water buffaloes to the people."

"Correct."

"Of all the random traditions to use as a cover story, you choose water buffaloes?"

"You think of something better, then."

"How about-"

"I wasn't serious!" she exclaimed. "Good grief, I can't believe you're first in line for the throne. Now be quiet, and follow my lead."

Azula pushed the door to the throne room open. "I don't know where she gets it from," the king was saying to the queen as he slumped in his throne. "You weren't nearly so picky."

Azula cleared her throat. "Your majesty?"

"Oh, yes," King Lao said. "Princess Azula, Prince Zuko. Such a pleasure to see you."

Azula curtsied deeply. "You seem distraught, sire," she said.

"It's my daughter," he said.

"You have a daughter?" Azula repeated, playing dumb.

Zuko frowned. "But Az, you just said- ow!" She elbowed him sharply in the ribs. "Ow."

"It's this suitor business," the queen said, seemingly unaware of the argument that had just taken place. "The princess simply refuses to accept any of the princes we offer to her."

"This one's available," Azula said, pointing her thumb over her shoulder at her brother. "Only slightly damaged."

"Azula!" Zuko said, horrified, as he covered his scar.

The king sighed and sat up straight. "I don't mean to bore you with personal problems," he said. "Is there something I can do for you two?"

"We'd just like to borrow the key to the royal library," Azula said.

"Hm? Oh, yes, go ahead," King Lao said. He nodded to his wife, who unfastened a small gold key from the chatelaine at her belt.

Azula curtsied again. "Thank you both," she said. She took the key eagerly, grabbed Zuko by the wrist, and marched out of the throne room.

"That went well," he commented. "We didn't even have to say anything about the water buffaloes." He paused. "Why are we researching water buffaloes anyway?"

"We're not, you idiot," she said, rolling her eyes. "Honestly."

"Well, you keep giving me all these cover stories, and I don't know what we're actually doing," he protested.

"We need to find out who the diamond in the rough might be," Azula said. "Obviously that earthbending twit with the silly mustache was not the correct diamond."

"More like a hunk of quartz," Zuko snickered.

"You need to stop hanging out with Uncle Iroh. You're picking up his sense of humor." Azula tossed her hair out of her eyes. "Once we've found the right man, we can break into the cave of the avatar. And once we have the avatar, we can go home. And once we go home-"

"Everything will be right again," Zuko sighed.

-----

Katara bolted upright, blinking awake in the darkness. "Princess?" she said.

The bedchamber remained quiet.

"Toph?" she called.

Still nothing.

Katara rolled her eyes and picked up her robe. "I wouldn't have taken this job if I knew it meant babysitting a blind sleepwalker," she mumbled. "If she walked into the rosebushes again, someone else is going to have to pull the thorns out. Not me again."

She slid her arms through the gauzy sleeves and tied the sash tightly as she padded through the spacious room. Sure enough, the princess's canopied bed was vacant. Katara huffed and stomped towards the verandah.

A very small figure crept towards the broad wall surrounding the garden. As Katara approached, the intruder whirled around, hands up. "Not the hair!" she pleaded.

Katara grabbed Toph by one of her long braids. "Princess," she growled. "What in the name of the big blue ocean are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Katara, but I can't stay here and have my life lived for me," the young princess said. She glared in the wrong direction.

Katara sighed. "You know I can't, as the lady-in-waiting that your parents appointed, support in you good conscience," she said.

Toph scowled. "I figured as much," she groused.

"But besides that, you go, girl," Katara said. She let go of Toph's hair. "Shall I give you a boost?"

"You shall," Toph said. Katara lifted the younger girl closer to the top of the wall; with a nimble swing, the princess leapt over the top. She held onto the edge for a moment. "Well, bye!"

Katara waved back before she could remember that Toph couldn't see.

-----

"Try this!" the salesman hollered. "Try this! Your taste buds will dance and sing!"

Sokka took a bite of the melon that Momo had stolen while the big man's back was turned. "I don't know about you, Momo, but my taste buds aren't dancing," he commented. Momo chattered in agreement. "Oh, well. Breakfast is served!"

Sokka took another huge bite. The pink-hued melon tasted sweet and spicy, but it still wasn't quite enough to fill his rumbling stomach. He chomped down, scraping his teeth against the bitter rind.

Momo yelped and plucked at his sleeve. "What?" he mumbled around the mouthful. "I split it evenly. You got the same amount as me."

The lemur pointed into the marketplace. Sokka followed his gaze. A petite, pretty girl had bumped into a firebender who was showing off tricks; the bender's eyes bulged and he coughed. The girl laughed as her hood fell back.

"Wow," Sokka said under his breath. She was pale but rosy-cheeked, with delicate features undermined by a mouth slightly too wide for conventional beauty. Long, glossy black braids hung behind her small ears. She wore a cloak of dark green linen, and despite the heat of the late morning, she drew the hood over her head.

Momo chattered. "What? No, I didn't just say 'wow'," Sokka denied irritably. He turned his attention back to the slightly overripe melon.

"No one steals from my cart!"

Sokka nearly choked on his melon. The salesman below him looked like he was about to blow. The pretty girl stood in front of him, her arms folded behind her back in complete unconcern. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir," she said. "I don't have any money."

"Thief!" the merchant bellowed.

"If you let me go to the palace, I can get some from the king," she offered.

The salesman grabbed her small wrists and pulled her down over the counter of his cart. Her hood drooped back and her long braids flew in the air. Sokka wiped melon juice from his chin and watched, mouth agape. "Do you know what the penalty is for stealing?" he threatened. He pulled out a long silver knife.

"No!" the girl cried. "No, please!"

Sokka leaped from the roof to the awning to the ground and caught the man by the throat. "Thank you, kind sir. I'm so glad you found her," he said easily. The salesman stared at him in confusion. Sokka turned to the girl. She didn't look at him. "I've been looking all over for you."

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Just play along," he whispered back.

"You know this girl?" the salesman rumbled.

"Sadly, yes," Sokka said. He took the girl's captured hands while the salesman was startled, turning her in a circle and extricating her from his grasp simultaneously. "She's my sister. And she's a little crazy."

"She said she knows the king," the salesman said.

"She thinks the lemur's the king," Sokka said, pointing at Momo. Momo stood up on top of a barrel and preened.

To Sokka's surprise, the girl swept an elaborate curtsy and fell on her knees in front of the lemur. "Oh wise king," she said. "How may I serve you?"

"Tragic, isn't it?" Sokka said. He picked the girl up around her waist and tossed her over his shoulder with her knees against his chest. "Now come along, sis. Time to see the doctor."

"Oh, hello, Doctor, how are you?" she said in a dreamy sort of voice.

He twisted to see over his shoulder and found her staring at an ostrich horse. "No, no, no," he said, stifling a laugh. "Not that one." He clicked his tongue for Momo. "Come along, your majesty."

He carried the girl through the souk. Momo followed them close behind. Conversation was rendered impossible, between the noise of the marketplace and that fact that he was facing her little bare feet instead of her face. Sokka carried her towards one of the many back alleys and set her on her feet in front of a wooden ladder. "Follow me," he said, and he climbed up eagerly.

She followed him slowly, as if she couldn't see where she was going. "I want to thank you for stopping that man," she said. She tripped over the top rung of the ladder and he caught her. The hood of her cloak shifted onto her shoulders and he found himself looking straight into her eyes. They were large and luminous and a lovely shade of green…and clearly sightless.

He realized he was staring. "Uh, forget it," he stammered.

Sunshine bore down on them as they stood on the roof, facing each other awkwardly. "So, uh," he said, clearing his throat. He snatched up a long pole."This is your first time in the marketplace, huh?"

He vaulted over the space between buildings, Momo clinging to his shoulder. Across the way he saw her smile and wrinkle her nose. It was cute. "Is it that obvious?" she said.

"Well, you do kind of stand out," he said. She tossed her long, glossy braids over her narrow shoulders. His cheeks flushed. "I mean, um, you don't seem to know how dangerous the city can be."

Sokka picked up a wide plank and set it down carefully between the two buildings. He bent down to adjust it, and something flew over his head. He straightened quickly. The pretty girl leaned casually on a pole. "I'm a fast learner," she said, her silvery green eyes shaded by her thick black lashes.

"Right," he stammered. "Come on this way."

He walked through the interlocking maze of abandoned buildings and vacant stairwells, picking his way through from memory. She reached over and wrapped her fingers around his wrist; her skin was soft and smooth. He swallowed hard. "Watch your head."

She ducked. "Is this where you live?" she asked.

"Yep," he said. "Just me and Momo. We come and go as we please."

"Fabulous," she sighed. He glanced over his shoulder, but she didn't seem sarcastic. In fact, she looked jealous.

"Well, it's not much, but it's got a great view," he said. He pulled back the tattered curtain to reveal the gleaming white palace, then glanced down at her. "Just take my word for it. You can see the palace perfectly from here."

"Wonderful," she said, but this time it sounded a bit sarcastic.

He leaned his elbows on the window ledge, feeling the warmth of the sun on his face. "I wonder what it would be like to live there," he mused. "To have servants and valets…"

"Oh, sure," she said. He glanced at her. She sat on the floor with her green linen dress hiked up almost her knees and dug her bare feet into the dirt. "People to tell you where to go and how to dress."

"It's better than here," Sokka shrugged. "Always scraping for food and ducking the guards."

"You're not free to make your own choices," she said.

"Sometimes you feel so-"

"You're just-"

"Trapped," they said in unison.

She looked at the ground and he looked at her. Sokka opened his mouth to say something, but instead he picked up the apple that Momo was about to bite. "So where are you from?" he asked, nonchalantly tossing the apple in her direction. It bounced off her forehead. "Sorry."

"What does it matter?" she sighed. She rubbed her forehead and took a large bite of the red-skinned apple. "I ran away, and I'm not going back."

"Really?" Sokka said. "Why does a girl like you run away?"

She pushed the partially chewed apple to one side of her mouth. "My parents are forcing me to get married," she said, her cheek bulging.

"That's awful," he said. "A girl as pretty as you should-"

She nearly choked. "What?"

Sokka felt his ears burn. He looked around for an excuse and grabbed Momo. "Momo says…that's not fair," he fibbed.

She swallowed the rest of the bite of apple and wiped a drop of juice from her chin. "Oh, did he?" she teased.

"Yeah, of course," he said.

She sidled up to him until she was leaning against the window ledge too, her hip touching his. "And does Momo have anything else to say?" she said.

"Well," he said slowly, willing his heartbeat to be calm again. "Uh…he wishes there was something he could do to help."

"Hm," she said. "Tell him that's very…sweet."

She was so close that he could breathe in the scent of soap and lotus blossoms. His arm touched hers. She closed her eyes. He leaned in until his lips were nearly touching hers; he could taste the sweet stickiness of apple juice.

Several guards clattered into the abandoned attic, their swords clanking at their sides. He choked and she tumbled over his knee. "There you are!" the captain growled.

"They've found me!" they yelped. They turned to each other and frowned. "They're after you?"

Sokka glanced out the wide-open window as she backed against the wall. "My father must have sent them," she groaned.

"Do you trust me?" he said.

She blinked. "What?" she said.

He took her by the hand. "Do you trust me?" he repeated.

"Yes," she said slowly, her slender fingers wrapping around his.

"Then jump!" he hollered. He leaped out the window. She screamed shrilly, locking her arms around his waist. They plummeted into a heap of burlap sacks in the now-quiet marketplace below. "You all right?"

"Ask me when my equilibrium's back," she panted, struggling to her feet. He helped her up and took off running.

"We just keep running into each other, don't we, street rat?" the guard grinned as he pressed his dagger against Sokka's throat.

The other guards poured into the alley. One of them held Momo by the tail. "It's the dungeon for you, boy," he grinned.

"Hey, get off of me," Sokka argued, wrestling away.

"Let go of him," the girl ordered. She sounded rather bossy.

"Look what we have here, boys," the captain leered. He took the girl by one long braid and tossed her back as easily as a child would toss a doll. "A street mouse."

Rather than bursting in tears, the girl leaped to her feet, scowling fiercely. "Unhand him," she commanded. "By order of the princess."

She ripped off the green linen cloak. Underneath she wore a simple knee-length dress of spring green silk, with a gold and jade pendant around her neck. Sokka swallowed hard as he recognized the flying boar- the symbol of the royal house. "The princess?" he spluttered.

She sighed. "Sorry," she said. "I don't like it any better than you do."

"But I thought you were just a myth!"

"Do I look like a myth to you?"

The guards bowed deeply. "What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street rat?" the captain said. "And without shoes?"

"That's not your concern," the young princess said, crossing her arms. "Do as I command and release him."

"Well, I would, princess, but my orders from the king," the captain said, perplexed. "He said that Prince Zuko and Princess Azula of the Fire Nation ordered for his arrest."

"I don't even know them!" Sokka protested. "I was framed!"

"You'll have to take it up with them," the captain of the guard said, almost apologetically.

The princess glared, although it was in the wrong direction. "Believe me," she said. "I will."

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Author's Notes:

This is seriously a joy to write. I haven't written a comedy, much less a parody, in forever. I really ought to do this more often.

I think my favorite part is writing the arguments between Zuko and Azula. They're hilarious when they play for the same team.

I also have a reference from one the best "Silly Songs with Larry" from Veggie Tales. There's a whole song about "everybody's got a water buffalo/yours is fast but mine is slow/oh, where we get them I don't know/but everybody's got a water buffalo." Love it. This might come into play later.

Also: Katara as Rajah FOR THE WIN.

And Sokka and Toph are just too precious.

I hope you're enjoying this!