Sapphire, 2010

I am dancing under the stars in a small gold wooden gazebo with Eli Fletcher outside in a garden of roses and jasmine. There are sparkly fairy lights rigged up in the trellis walls and trees around us, casting a dim golden glow over us. Eli is looking at me like I'm the most amazing girl he's ever seen in his life. He's looking at me like I'm the best. I lean my cheek against his shoulder and deeply inhale the scent of his jacket. I catch a glimpse of myself in a huge gold framed mirror set into one of the trellis walls. Some unconscious part of me recognizes the girl. A half second late I realise that blond girl in the black dress is me. I laugh at myself quietly. Even in my dreams I'm scatterbrained.

'Sapphire…' says my dream boy. His light brown eyes meet my blue ones. For one second I am dazed. This is so perfect.

'Sapphire?' a different voice calls this time. I frown. This is my fantasy, so why is Serena's voice here? Suddenly the beautiful setting and Eli fade away.

'Sapphire? You up?' Serena whispered through the door. I looked at my clock, and groan. It was 4.27 am and I was meant to be asleep.

'Sapphire? Wake up… I had the dream again.' God, she was persistent. I mumbled back something like 'ahhmm koommbingg.', then promptly fell out of the bed with a loud thud and woke up. Cursing under my breath, I stumbled over to the door and let Serena in. She was shivering and looked scared. Her long dark curls were tangled all down her back and her green eyes were all teary. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and her face was covered in a sheen of sweat. We'd been in this situation plenty of times before.

'Aw Serena, did you have the dream again?' I asked, concerned for my younger sister. She nodded.

'Do you want to sleep in my room again tonight?' I asked. She nodded again, and we crawled into my bed. I gave her a quick hug and told her everything was going to be fine, nothing would hurt her, I was here for her, she was safe now, standard comforting words. She was relieved, and fell asleep quickly. Serena was only a month younger than me, and most of the time she seemed so much older than me. But at times like this, I was the big sister. And at times like this, it was her who needed me.

My mom adopted Serena when we were 5 years old, and I was, to put it mildly, ecstatic. My whole life I'd wanted a sister to play with and dress up. I thought they were like dolls, there for you to play with when you wanted and did whatever you wanted happily. Serena, however, wasn't taking orders from anyone and eventually the tables turned and she was soon dressing me up; which is a big deal when you're five. We stood up for each other and we were the best of friends. Mom never favoured either of us, and she showered us with love equally. Our childhood was great together. Serena was always amazingly confident. Even immediately after the accident when most people go into depression or trauma, she just moved on, which was incredible for a 5 year old. It was like the accident never happened. The only evidence that it even happened were the medical and police reports. Oh and the dreams. She had these weird recurring dreams every few weeks. The dream was her subconscious dragging up the memory of her accident. This was the only time I would ever see her vulnerable. Usually she was fiercely protective of me and when she had her guard down after these dreams, it was me being fiercely protective of her. I remember once we were at the park down the street once when we were 8 years old. I was on a swing trying to kick so high that I'd flip the swing over the bar when the big bad bully of the neighbourhood pulled my swing to a stop, and told me I was going to get off now. I shook my head, no way was this guy going to tell me what to do. He pushed me off roughly and I fell into the mud. I ran away trying to hold back tears and Serena chased me down, concerned for why I was so upset. When I told her, she just walked up to him fearlessly and demanded that he get off that swing immediately or else. The kid took one look at her enraged 8 year old face and left the park straight away. By this point I didn't even want to go on the swing anymore so we went home. She piggy-backed me the whole way because my knee was sore from when I was pushed off the swing. She was my best friend.

'OOOF!' I groaned as Serena ran into my room and dropped our shiatsu dog Danny on my stomach. She then, as if shocking me into consciousness by leaving me at the mercy of the slobber machine Danny wasn't enough, proceeded to open the curtains and open the window. Double whammy, sunlight and the noise of New York City traffic poured in through my window. I pulled my pillow over my head and pushed Danny off my bed.

'Go away.' I mumbled. I'm not really a morning person.

'Aw come on Sapph, it's Sunday. Lets go shopping, or to the cinema or to brunch with the girls or something. Don't waste your time lying bed all day. Or I'll throw Danny at you again.' She threatened.

'What's the time?' I moaned. 'Why are you awake at this hour you physco? If it's early enough for a brunch then I'm supposed to be asleep! How long have you been up for?' She dropped Danny back on my bed and he licked my face. Serena laughed and picked him up again.

'More? No more questions. Get up. We leave for India in three days, shopping is in order.' commanded Serena. I obeyed, Danny's breath stinks.

I took a quick look at my clock. 9.32am. I moaned again.

'Go have a shower, I'll call the girls. Let's have brunch at that new breakfast place around the block. Anyone you want to invite. Like, maybe Eli?' she teased, as she thrust my towel at me.

'Eli? No. I'm not interested in him anymore. Why would you think that?' I lied, trying not to look shifty and failing in a major way.

'Because, he was all you were talking about last night.' She giggled at me.

'"Oh Eli, you're such a good dancer… Thanks Eli, I'm glad you like my dress… Oh sure, I'd love to do this again with you sometime Eli." I can't believe you're still into him. You. Shower. Now. Quick. If we wait any longer the breakfast place will close and we'll have to go for lunch instead..' She winked mischievously. I just put my I'm-tired-and-half-asleep-so-I-can't-function face on. What the heck was I going to wear? She was already dressed in a black high-waisted skirt, white singlet, my black and silver belt, her diamond bracelet that she never took off (it was on her when she was found after her accident) and her favourite black leather jacket. Dang, I wanted to wear that jacket today. She pushed me out of my room towards the bathroom, with her cell phone already in hand. No doubt about it, she was going to send Eli a message to have brunch with us and to bring his buddies. She gave me the look, the look that says 'do as I say or you're toast'. I knew better than to disagree with that look, a few minutes later I was lathering my hair up with shampoo. Serena is a force to be reckoned with. And I loved her for it.

One hour later we were seated in the cosy new breakfast place. It was warm but small. There were 7 of us all squished up together around a small rounded table. Serena worked her magic and somehow I was between Eli and Danielle, my closest friend since before Serena was adopted into our family. Danielle's twin Jaycob had come and brought his friend Justin along and none of us had met him before and he was cute, albeit a little shy. Serena's friend Aimee had come too. Aimee was just as shy as Justin seemed and they looked like they were getting on pretty well. Serena was talking to Jaycob and Danielle about our schools upcoming trip to India. Which left me to talk to Eli. I cursed at Serena internally for putting me in this situation. I was sitting next to him and after all our history and last nights dream the conversation was strained and extremely awkward.

'So, err, what've you been doing lately? I haven't seen you for a while.'

'I've been around.' He mumbled back vaguely. Oh so he had been here. Just avoiding me. Fair enough, our summer break-up had been bad.

'Surely you've been doing something. Is it a secret?' I smiled, trying to be friendly. He looked up at me like I was accusing him of something.

'Nothing interesting, just been with the boys. We all drove to Chicago for a weekend not long ago. What about you?'

'Same old, I haven't gone anywhere. I was helping Jaycob out with his fundraiser to get money for the India trip.' I wasn't about to mention that this fundraiser was also for Jaycob's friend Sam, another ex of mine and a guy that Eli absolutely hated with a passion.

'Cool, how'd you fundraise for it?' he asked, wiping his black hair out of his light brown eyes. Wow, he looked genuinely curious. It was a miracle.

'We busked. Got a permit and everything. What a freaking mission that was. Jake wrote and choose the songs and helped Serena sing them, I played the guitar. We did this for a good 3 days, same corner, different songs. We raised about $1000. It was pretty good, you meet some strange people on the street.' I smiled, remembering the old man who had given us 50 Australian dollars. Then walked away humming, 'I come from the land down under', under his breath. That guy made my day. Eli interrupted my thoughts.

'You always do that!' he said, with mock solemnity.

'Do what?' I asked, confused.

'Space out. You get so lost in your own memories that you forget what you're saying in the present. It's actually pretty funny.' He laughed at me.

I blushed bright red. Note to self, NO MORE SPACING OUT.

'I'm sorry.' I mumbled.

'No, I like it.' He blurted out, as if he hadn't actually meant to say it. It was his turn to blush. And we're back to square one. I thought, Awkward… and just then the waitress arrived with our waffles and ice-cream. Great timing.

'So do you love me, or do you love me?' asked Serena jokingly as we briskly walked home in the cold NYC weather. She gave me the look.

I gave her the look back. She gave me the look again but with more oomph this time. I sighed, she won. She always did that.

'Well it's just that things are so awkward between me and him already and then that little comment sort of accidently brought up the intensity level of the conversation. He'll probably be avoiding me again now.' I moaned.

'He will do no such thing. I'll make sure of it. And on the plus side, he said he liked it. That's not a bad thing. While we're on the plus side, Aimee and Justin totally hit it off, and he asked her to go with him to the movies tonight. And Jaycob nearly has enough money for India, and his parents are leaning towards the idea of giving him a loan. All in all, I think it was a very successful brunch.' She summed up, obviously very pleased with herself.

I rolled my eyes. How one girl wielded so much confidence was beyond me.

'Well, what about you? Everyone else has a plus side. What's your benefit?'

'My benefit is benefitting you lot, who are so hopelessly lost without me that you need me here to point you in the right direction. Admit it Sapphire. You need me.' I resisted the urge to poke my tongue out at her like a child. We arrived at our apartment building.

'Aw crap, I forgot my key. You have yours?' I fumbled around in my purse looking for my key. Serena already had hers in her fingers.

'See, you'd be lost without me Sapph.' She laughed at me and let us into our apartment. Mom was sitting in the lounge with her laptop balanced on her knee. She was typing furiously, her long manicured fingers tapping on the keys with a loud click-click-click noise. Working. Again.

'Mom, it's Sunday. Take a break. Get your coat, lets go for a walk to Central Park.' Serena instructed. It was like a second nature to her, I swear.

'One second honey, I'm almost finished this report okay? Give me 10 minutes then we'll go.' replied Mom, without looking up from the laptop, her fingers never ceasing in their steady click-click-click rhythm. I suppressed a laugh. Mom was a work-a-holic. I went to walk out of the room, but Serena grabbed my arm and stopped me without taking her eyes off mom. She gestured for me to do the same. After about 2 minutes of resisting the force of our combined stare, mom flipped her laptop shut and gave up.

'Alright! You win! Get your jackets, lets go.' she laughed, defeated.

'Where did you say you wanted to go?' mom asked us.

'Central Park? I don't care. Let's just go do something. No point staying in an apartment when you live in a city this big.' said Serena. I nodded. Mom just stared at us for a second.

'What?' asked Serena impatiently, she was practically tapping her foot, she was that ready to leave the apartment; despite the fact that we'd only just entered it less than 5 minutes ago.

'I just love you girls so much!' mom moaned at us.

'No, no maternal moping on us today mom. Let's go.' Instructed Serena. Mom had been getting all mopey on us lately. We figured it was because we were both leaving for India soon. 1 month in India with no parents and just 3 young teacher aids. Mom was distraught. It was actually pretty funny.

'Right. Sorry girls, lets go.' apologized mom. I laughed.

'COME ON!' shouted Serena. Sheesh, she had confidence but no patience.

We exited the apartment and walked around the cold busy streets of NYC. We just wandered randomly, going into shops at random. We stopped at a Starbucks briefly and that's where things went weird. Serena ordered her usual tall white chocolate mocchacino, no cream, with extra vanilla.

'Hey, you're Serena Richards right?' asked the Starbucks worker serving us. He seemed to be staring at her wrist. Which was weird. Mom had already sat down. Richards wasn't our last name, Mason was.

'Serena Mason actually. Do I know you?' Serena asked, confused.

'No, I was sure your last name was Richards. Is your mothers name Julia?' the guy asked. Mom's name was Sarah. This guy was mistaking her for someone else for sure. He looked confused too. That made 3.

'No. You didn't' answer my question. Have we met somewhere before? You seem kind of familiar.' replied Serena cautiously. She looked at the guy with cautious eyes, suspiciously. I looked at him too. This guy was HOT. He looked about 17 years old and he had a great tan, like he'd just gotten back from a holiday in Fiji or some island resort. He had glowing blue eyes and light brown hair that was stylishly messy. He was tall too, about 6'3, and obviously spent a lot of time in a gym judging by the well developed muscles on his arms. When he spoke this dimple in his cheek jumped. He was hot, but Serena couldn't care less, she could have any hot guy she wanted she was that pretty. She just gave him the look.

'I think so… I'm Sebastian. Ring any bells?' he asked curiously.

'Nada. Well uh, thanks for the coffee.' Serena smiled, and went to walk away, but Sebastian grabbed her arm and stopped her.

'Wait, maybe we could catch up sometime? Figure out how I know you?'

'No thankyou, I'm fairly busy.'

'Aw come on, I'm intrigued.' Sebastian smiled.

'If I say yes will you go away and let me drink my coffee?'

'How about tomorrow, we could meet here at 5 o clock when my shift finishes, and we could have a coffee or something?'

'Fine. Now go' Serena brushed him away, 'Coffee time.' she moaned. She had no patience for boys. We started walking towards our table. I snuck a glance over my shoulder to see that Sebastian had gone.

'Serena? Sapphire? What's taking so long?' called our mom.

'Can we go home now? It's cold!' I moaned.

'Yeah, I'm not really keen to get soaked. Let's go.' decided Serena

'Who was the guy at Starbucks Serena?' asked mom mischievously.

'Nobody.'

'Really? He didn't seem like nobody.' Mom winked at me.

'Yeah Serena, who was he?' I teased.

'Like I said, nobody. I don't even know the guy. He didn't know me from Eve.'

'Yeah right, that's why you've got a date with him tomorrow.' I said, dangling this bit of information in front of mom. She took the bait.

'Ooooooh! Serena's got a date! Finally, I worry about you sometimes, you get so caught up setting other people up together that you never have time to find someone for yourself darling.'

'It's not a date exactly, I kind of recognized him vaguely. Otherwise I would've turned him down, I don't need a guy complicating life when it's already so busy.' moaned Serena. I sighed, only she could moan about getting asked out. It was a regular occurrence for her. Boys just couldn't help themselves, she had the whole package. The cheerleaders body, long dark hair, tanned skin, and these bright green eyes that could make you lose track of what you were saying. Team the fabulous physical picture with her incredible confidence and bubbly outlook on life, boys couldn't resist her. However, she intimidated some of the ones she actually became interested in. Her one long relationship ended abruptly when she found him making out with some random girl nobody knew at a party once. Since then, she distanced herself from guys, preferring to set me up with guys. More than once, the guy she'd set me up with would actually be interested in her and would just go out with me on a pity date hoping to get closer to her. It wasn't her fault. It's not that I wasn't attractive, I just didn't compare with Serena. Story of my life! But no matter how many times someone ignored me for her, or choose her over me I would always love my sister. She was my closest friend ever and we had so much fun together. Sharing clothes, waking each other up at random times of the night to talk about dreams, hanging out every weekend, helping each other when we needed it, nothing could make me resent that. I occasionally got jealous of her, and she would occasionally get jealous of me. Those conversations often went like:

'I wish I had your blonde hair! I wish I had your nose, it's so cute!'

'No! I wish I had your dark hair! I wish I had your eyes! Lucky bitch!' we'd laugh. I sighed again, and we reached the apartment. I made a beeline for the kitchen. I loved to cook, and since it was lunch time I decided to make spaghetti bolognaise, Serena's favourite. I busied myself with that while Serena went into her room and started playing my guitar. Mom immediately sat back down to her laptop and starting typing insanely fast. Another typical Saturday with those closest to me. I sighed again, happily this time. Life was good.