Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Samantha Wildman
"Samantha."
On hearing my name, I look up, and see Chakotay beaming down at me. I stand to greet him, and he envelops me in a friendly hug. He is warm, and his aftershave is sweet and spicy. He pulls back to look at me, "how are you?" he asks me quickly, "how are Naomi and Greskrendtregk?"
"We're all good," I reply with a smile, finding myself looking up at him with the same fondness I see returned in his eyes. "My husband has taken Naomi camping for a few days, so I have the house to myself at the moment."
He shoots me a grin, "is that good or bad?" he asks.
I chuckle, "both."
He nods, and indicates that I should enter his office. He has been planet side for over a week now, and having been promoted to Captain, has been assigned a temporary office in head quarters whilst he completes the crew compliment of his new ship.
"I feel like I haven't seen you since the debriefings finished," he comments as he walks around his desk, "we hardly got to speak at the Voyager reunion last week."
I consider making a joke at his late arrival, but then I reconsider, as I do not think that our friendship is close enough to share that type of banter. "Actually Captain, I saw you over a month ago, but I don't think you were aware."
His brows furrow as he tries to consider when our paths could have crossed. "Where was that?"
"In the docking bay of deep space 5," I explain.
Chakotay looks disappointed, "you should have drawn my attention, it's a shame I missed you."
I shake my head, "there was a glass panel between us. You must have been just boarding your shuttle as I was disembarking mine," I explain. "Were you there visiting Admiral Janeway?"
At the mention of Janeway, something unreadable passes across his face, which he quickly masks. I sense that I should not have mentioned her name.
"I wasn't aware that Admiral Janeway was on the station," he replies softly, "I was only there for a few hours to collect some supplies."
"That's too bad you missed her, I am sure she would have liked to see you." Even as I say the words I am not so sure if they are the truth. On Voyager they had always given the impression of close friends, if not more than that. However soon after our return to Earth their behaviour towards one another changed drastically. They were seldom seen together except at meetings or events they were both required to attend, and when they were together, they regarded each other formally and with a cold distance I had rarely seen either of them display.
I remember one occasion in particular, a short while after our return to the alpha quadrant, when I had observed them at Starfleet headquarters. I had been sat in the atrium outside some of the meeting rooms, waiting for the start of the next debriefing, when I caught mention of Janeway's name from a stranger close by.
Seeing the direction the woman was pointing, I looked up at the distant balcony, and caught sight of the Admiral standing by the railing. She wore a sombre expression as she spoke to a man in front of her: Chakotay.
I immediately wanted to get their attention, but something about their manner stopped me. Chakotay's face looked pained, and Janeway's stance was rigid and uncomfortable. Their conversation looked no less pleasant, they looked like a couple having a private disagreement, and trying to draw as little attention as possible to it.
I have observed thousands of exchanges between the two of them over the years. I have seen them openly disagree on the bridge about an order. I have witnessed Janeway's usually patient temper flare, and Chakotay's always steady aura calm her down. I have watched them laugh, and joke, and flirt at crew social events. And then of course, I don't think anyone missed them dance at the Voyager reunion. But I had never seen them like that before, as they stood on the balcony and... fought.
They appeared to be having an argument at a very personal level, the type of confrontation the crew had seldom been aware of, let alone a witness to aboard Voyager. I do not think this was due to the rarity of their personal disagreements, quite the contrary. I believe those were moments that they never intended to share with anyone else, that they always retreated to her ready room, or their quarters to have. Almost like two parents not wanting their children see them row, they avoided having such confrontations in front of witnesses, preferring instead to vent in private and present a united front for their crew.
However, for whatever reason, that day they had been forced into a public arena. Although I could see neither of them looked comfortable with the setting, whatever words they were shared seemed urgent and emotive enough to disregard their usual care.
If Chakotay is affected this time by my words, he does not show it. He smiles gently across at me, "I would have liked to see her also. Anyway," he bristles, "let's get down to why you're here. What do you know about the mission so far?"
"Very little," I confess, "I know that Sirius was commissioned as a scientific research vessel, however I have not yet heard what the ship's first mission will be under your command."
"We intend to undertake a six month expedition towards the outskirts of Buoron rift. There is a cluster of M class planets in orbit of the largest star." Chakotay smiles, "this is of particular interest to me from an anthropological angle because we believe this was the home of a highly developed society many years ago. Our objective is to find out what happened to them, and determine if they were warp capable. I have requested you in particular as we expect to uncover remains of the inhabitants, and your expertise will be valuable to determine what they would have looked like, and if they have any distant relatives in the known galaxy."
"And Starfleet has dedicated six months to this mission?" I eye him carefully, knowing that we could potentially collect all the research we need within a few weeks.
He concedes to my questioning with a slight tilt of his head, and his face turns stern. "As a research vessel, Sirius has been fitted with acute long range scanners. The Buoron rift will take us within range of the Romulan boarder... Starfleet have therefore decided to prolong our stay within the vicinity to allow us to do some reconnaissance. Although we have no intention of making contact with the Romulans, I feel I should keep you informed on all aspects of the mission, as Naomi will be coming, and I know that this could affect your decision."
I understand immediately that he is breaking a few rules by telling me all of this in advance of the official briefing. Perhaps he is wanting to give me the opportunity to turn down the assignment if I consider it too much of a risk with my child. Or, more likely, he wants me to accept with full knowledge of what we might get ourselves into. I shoot him a grateful expression, "I appreciate your concern Captain," I tell him gently, "but Greskrendtregk and I are both Starfleet officers, and we understand there is always an element of risk with each mission, but this is what we do. Since Voyager, we have decided that we want to remain together as a family, and Naomi is a space boomer, so I don't think she would know how to grow up any other way now. I can't think of a better ship to be on, than one under your command."
He looks slightly embarrassed by my compliment, and tugs at his earlobe slightly, but a smile eventually consumes his face. "I don't know how people balance a career in Starfleet with a family," he admits, "If I was a parent I think I would be a nervous wreck having my child onboard during a red alert."
His words strike up the thought in my head that he would be a wonderful father. He is caring, and patient, and very loving; it is a shame that he has not yet had the chance to share these wonderful traits with a son or daughter. I wonder if he and Seven will eventually start a family, I know that Naomi adores Seven, and she would also make a good mother. Then again, the couple may be content enough with each other, parenthood may be one opportunity that they chose to forego.
"You get used to it," I promise.
Chakotay doesn't say anything further on the topic, and our conversation drifts. He fills me in on the details of the team I will be working with over the following few months. I ask him some more questions about the ship, and the planets we will be studying, and I make requests for some additional lab equipment that I know we could benefit from.
Eventually, our conversation drifts into reminiscing out the years on Voyager.
When I tell family and friends about our time, it sounds like an adventure, as if we never wanted to leave the delta quadrant. With fellow comrades though, it is easier to be honest, to admit that we were scared, tired and frustrated some of the time. We can talk about those we lost along the way, and Chakotay especially really cares to listen; of all the crew, he is possibly the easiest to open up to... I almost find myself in tears when we discuss Neelix.
All too soon though, his next meeting is waiting, and I bid him a fond goodbye, leaving in good spirits for the mission that awaits us.