After that, her mother came to the hospital (apparently she were unstable and not strong enough to face all this alone) and had been closed - for more than an hour - talking in private with Dr Fell in her studio while she was there, waiting in the hall, with a nurse who, despite supposing to be baby-sitting her, was actually all Grey's-anatomnly flirting with an apprentice.
Looking at her poor attempt to flirt with him (God, you could have drown in her drooling), she realized that that was how the things would have go on from that point. Would she get someone to follow me anywhere? Fuck. In a few months she'd hoped to gain her complete independence, to be finally totally free from any trivial small-town-girl convention, to embrace the joy of university with its parties and sororities and new people. Instead it looked like she would have to come back to freedom of a 5-year-old child.
As all the mating thing seemed to be last for long, she took advantage of her distraction and made for a snack machine. At least now she had an excuse to drown her sorrow into sweets. Who would have noticed her cellulite from the coffin? But this hadn't to be her lucky day, since that after having taken the coins, the machine looked to be stuck.
"What the hell" she exhaled smashing her hands over the glass of the machine to make it work.
"You know ,love, there are other ways, far less brutal and quieter, to adjust it" said someone with a hint of sarcasm in his accented voice.
She turned her head at the left. There was a guy. Maybe twenty-three/twenty-four years old from the appearance; but there was something in the way he stood, leaned against the wall, that gave him a distinct and respectful air. What to add: dirty blond hair, blue eyes and a smirk on his face that made her wanna slap him.
"Well, please, light me up with your experience" she invited him indicating the machine with a hand.
"Oh, who mentioned anything about showing up my tricks" he answered crossing his arms and enjoying the scene.
She rose my eyebrows. Was he kidding her? Had her day not been enough for now? Was she in a sort of candid camera? "Then why did you stop? Is mocking me so funny? Don't you have something else to do?" she asked him a bit frustrated, keeping on smashing her hands on the glass.
"What can I say? I'm impossibly attracted by damsel in distress" he claimed, not even hiding the pleasure that the situation was giving him. It had been a long time since that someone had dared to talk to him in that way. "If only she knew who I am" he thought giving a very interested look to the beautiful girl in front of him. Usually even the ones to whom his name was unknown, and they were not so many, had a sort of instinctual respect and fear towards him; nevertheless this young woman had even barely considered his presence. He didn't know if that was more annoying or amusing to him.
"I must have missed your shining armour" she replied with a fake smile, trying to be clear about her wish for him to evaporate.
Even more interested in the feisty girl, he came behind her, his lips lightly brushing against her ear "Never said I was a white knight" he whispered in a husky tone.
"Believe me" she exhaled, blushing for the closeness of his chest to her back " I've noticed". Stupid hormones. Stupid, stupid hormones.
He smirked, sensing the raced beating of her heart.
"Well" he did walking away and looking at his watch "I'm sorry to interrupt our lovely conversation but I must go, as you said, I gotta something to do. See you around, love".
And with this sentence and two firm knocks on the machine he left.
When she looked back at the bottom of the glass, her Oreo were out.
Once that her mother left the studio, she come back to her sad and creepy reality of a cancer affected.
"Dr Fell has told me that there are some cures, and that you could follow some programmes. Then there are the chemo. She actually gave me the number of this oncologist, Dr Salvatore. He's new in town, he's been here for a year or less but she says that he knows what he does. I'll call him later to have an appointment " she keeps rambling while walking back home – she had never seen her mother so anxious; usually she was always calm like if she was perfectly in control of everything - "Look Caroline," she suddenly added, stopping from walking, with a serious but soft voice staring her in the eyes "I know that I haven't been such a good mother but I swear that I'll be next to you in these months, ok? You're not lonely" and as fighting the tears that she had seen coming into her eyes , she looked away checking her watch. "Now I should go back work honey. Are you ok? Can you stay alone for a while?" she asked her a bit concerned.
"Sure mum". She would have liked to make some irony about how she had actually lived alone since her father had left them, without her worrying for her meals or checking her homework like the other mothers did. But today it was not the case.
"See you tonight honey" and so, she went away.
She had barely taken a step inside that got a message from Elena "How do you do?".
She exhaled, a bit tired and a bit amused by the question. "If only she knew..." and here there was her dilemma: tell them or not tell them, that was the question. Of course, they were her friends. She had shared and confided them her most intimate thoughts since she could remember. They even knew of when in primary school, Mark Scoffield, of the other second class, had bullied her after school because of her father. She remembered to have cried for a week. Before she didn't know that what her father was or liked was considered like a sort of guilt by many. How could it be? Well, yeah, she hadn't been happy when he had left them alone, but she didn't blame that on Steven... Her mother had never known the reason she had feared going to school for those two weeks. She just told her two friends... She started thinking, throwing her bag on the bed and switching the computer on. Ugh, although she couldn't but remember the doctor's expression. That sense of commiseration and comprehension as she could understand her feeling, her situation. Would she ever be able to constantly read the seriousness of her disease in other people's eyes, into my friends' eyes?".
After she had begun reading some of those brochures that Meredith had given her mother and had glanced at the pictures of those patients, all bald and pale and sad...she knew that she would not be able to endure through all this alone . So she asked Elena and Bonnie out.
"Mmm, you know that to see your future you must read coffee grounds and not the tea ones, do you?" joked Bonnie, laughing on the fact that Caroline had stared at the bottom of the cup since Matt has served her.
"Sorry, it's that.. ugh, I don't even know how to tell you. I mean, it's not that easy" she rambled, not finding the words she needed.
"Please, don't tell me we already must begin with the preparations for prom. My lungs haven't recovered yet from the last ball... just the thought of other balloons makes me wanna stake me with a pencil" claimed ironically Elena eating a fry and checking her phone, as she had constantly done since we got here.
"No, no, don't worry" she ensured her lightly laughing "and, just for the record, your balloons weren't so inflated so I can't see your complain. By the way, I gather you here today to tell you something... Oh God, I didn't want to sound so grieving and mournful; well, of course I expect you to be sad, very sad for me, but perhaps I should have.."
"Care, I reckon that you are wondering off" Bonnie stopped her covering her hand.
Squeezing it, she found the courage to say "I've got a brain cancer and..."
"WHAT !" shouted Elena and Bonnie together, visibly shocked "Care, if you're joking .."
"Please, let me finish. I have a brain cancer and, as I have understood, they can't remove it , so I just can follow some therapy to, well..." how could she explain to them the reason of her next months of living hell if neither she could see the use of those useless cures?
"Oh Care..." did Elena, caressing her other hand.
"No, please, no. Don't do this, neither of you. Promise me, promise to never treat me like a proximal corpse-to-be or like a little kicked puppy. I'm not looking for pity or compassion. I'm always the same, so I expect you to keep on chat, smile and making fun of me. Is it clear? So, now, say something. Let's talk about anything else; make me forget all this crap" she said smiling, wanting just to have a normal girl chat with my friends.
"Well, in this case, we could talk about the fellow with whom Elena is texting since we got here" added Bonnie smirking to her.
"Ah, he's no one" the brunette answered trying to contain her smile "he's just a guy that I met in the cemetery while I was writing my diary, you know, near my parents' graves"
"Let's say that's a bit awkward" exclaimed Bonnie with a half disgusted face "what was he doing there ?"
"He said that he was there to find some peace, to rest his mind. He's got a certain sense of humor"
"Ooh, that's a bit creepy" added the blonde "Darling, before to get too much involved you should check if he's not into kinky stuff or either in some sort of cult. Maybe he was looking for a corpse for some Satanic ritual. Please, if that's so, don't you even dare to give mine to him"
"How could we?" intervened Bonn kidding "Of course your corpse will be donate to the Town Council that will expose it in a museum named after you, for "the beauty and the parties given to our society" " then turning to Elena "So, what's his name?"
"Damon".
"Since when knocking has become a forgotten costume, Klaus?" asked Dr Salvatore not even raising his head from the clinical report he is analysing.
"You know Stefan, you should find someone a bit more awake as a secretary" stated Klaus while wandering through the studio "I don't think she even noticed that I've arrived"
"Then we can talk about why you are here" replied the doctor, selecting another file to check.
"I was really impressed when I found out that you had become a doctor, ripper. Last time I checked you were on the other side, weren't you?" smiled the Original finding a seat on the other part of the desk.
"Again, Klaus, why are you here?" repeated clearly annoyed and now more seriously Stefan, finally looking the other man in the eyes.
"How rude, shouldn't you be a bit more friendly with an old pal?" he smirked standing up from the chair "Anyway, I've just come to collect some blood bags for Rebekah. She wants to try a new diet. You know, she quite likes this town and she wouldn't arise some suspects with unnecessary deaths. Women. Me, on the other hand..."
"It's a quite town, Klaus. Let's not change that". It had been a lot since Stefan had been in Mystic Falls, his native town, and had the total intention to remain there until he could. Despite everything, it was still the only place he could call home. Anyway he was no fool and knew that the Mikaelson family meant "danger". The quiet day were over.
"Oh, but we all want the same things, ripper. You just must provide me with some blood bags every week. I could compel and steal and hide and so on, but I'm a very busy man" explained the hybrid getting close to the desk "so if we could skip all this unnecessary steps... " and noticing the frown forming between the doctor's eyes, he continued " ... or I could just dry out some of those terminally ill, they would be dead in a while, after all" he finished with a smile which showed his dimples.
"I'll let you know when it's available, until then you won't come here, and don't you dare to touch anyone of my patients"
"Perfect. And don't worry, as long as I have my bags I'll pretend to tame your poor excuse of a threatening; although I wouldn't attempt to do it again if I were you," then, resting both his hands on the desk and leaning towards him "I'm the one who puts conditions, don't forget it"
"Then..." but Stefan's words were interrupted by Stacey, the secretary, who, opening the door, introduced his next patient.
When Stefan turned his head to the balcony, the windows were open and Klaus was gone.
"Please, come in. Let's sit" gently said Stefan looking at the two women sat in front of his desk.
" You must be Caroline Forbes" kept saying, turning his head to the young girl. Looking into her eyes, he could see her fear, doubts, hesitations but even something that he couldn't soon identify if not as a light, yeah... the light of a candle that looked fragile but that, despite everything, bravely fought to keep staying alive. Despite everything she had to have come to know, she seemed not to have lost her thirst of life.
"I've talked with your mother" informs her now nodding to the Sheriff Forbes "and I've also had a talk with Dr Fell, to be unacknowledged of every aspect of your healthy state. Unfortunately your case is a very sorrowful one, but I'll do everything I can to help and support you. You should come here every 21 days for the chemotherapy and then, at home, every day you must take some pills that I'll prescribe you. Now, if you want to make me some questions"
"Well..." Caroline was hesitantly starting before to be interrupted by her mother.
" Will she be able to keep on doing all her daily activities?" asked Liz deeply concerned.
"Yeah, sure. Of course, one or two days after the chemo she will probably feel nausea and she'll be a bit of a wreck but she can conduct a normal life. She can do anything she wants as long as she can endure it" answered Dr Salvatore with a comforting smile addressed to Caroline.
"But I wondered..." tried Caroline again, even this time interrupted by the older woman.
"When should she start with the pills ? Before or after the chemo? How many times a day? At the morning or at the evening?"
"I'll write down all the information about this aspect in the recipe and, regarding that, I've just noticed that I've run out of sheets. Sorry Sheriff, could you make me a favour and go at the first floor and ask any nurse for any, please?"
As Liz left the studio,
" I didn't want to sound rude, and I understand that she's a mother and is concerned for you" began Stefan, standing up from his place and sitting into the chair where the sheriff had been before.
"Now, that's just you and me, and I can tell there are some things you wanna ask me. Please, don't be afraid to speak."
"I...I've done some researches and they said that I could lose my hair, is that right?" she asked staring at her hands, actually hiding her true interest.
"Well, the chemical industry has greatly improved in the last years, so theoretically with these new medicine you shouldn't lose your hair; on the other hand that's just hypothetical. It's not sure. It depends on how your body will react. By the way, I don't' think that's your real doubt. Although I understand that hair is un undoubtedly important part in the life of an American teenager" he joked. And holding her shoulder he encouraged her "Come on Care, tell me what you really wanna know"
Cause a very long medical experience and all those years spent watching people embracing their fatale destiny, there had always been one question that they had asked:
"How much do I have?" she finally whispered between her lips, sniffing to not make those tears spill from her eyes.
"Six, eight months at the longest, I'm sorry" he answered softly. Then, as sensing it was the right thing to do, he stood up carrying her with him into a hug. And with this move, every attempt to stay composed fell and she started sobbing loudly into his arms, crying hard, as she had never done in her life.
"I'm sorry. You're nineteen, you should be out smiling and laughing and worrying about your dress for the prom or the shoes to pair with it ; and not certainly here, trying to come to pact with your life. I know that telling you "I know how you feel" won't make your day but..." he just made some space between them, sensing her recollecting herself "I'm here, for everything, even just to stay sit in silence. Consider me not just as your doctor, but even as a friend, ok?" . She nodded.
And for the first time, Caroline found in those comforting eyes that the burden that had pressed her chest for a few days had finally gone. Well, not really gone gone, but at least softened.
She was dying, and maybe she had just few months, but she would have made sure that those months would have been the best ones of her life.