The Second Verse

She smiles at you when you wake up and asks how your doing. You still haven't remembered how to use your voice. She just smiles some more when she realizes you aren't going to answer. Still, that doesn't keep her from talking, and you find you don't mind. She's got a beautiful smile, and big ruby eyes. Her hair is long, and a dark brown, and you know you don't want to see anything on that face but a smile. She reminds you of your mother. Not 'mother', but the real one who sung you lullabies. She asks when was the last time you ate, and in all honesty you don't know. You wonder if you can die. You know you can feel pain, and you can be tired, and you can certainly be hungry, as the growl from your stomach just concluded that...but after everything you've been through, after everything that's been done to you, you wonder if you can die. She gives you soup, it's chicken noodle, she says, home made and fresh. You manage something of a smile, a way to thank her and she laughs.

"I'm glad to see you can at least smile."

When she says this, it makes you blush. You try to remember blushing. It'd been so long, especially when you lost most emotions when you lost your memories, and were left with the bare basics. Happiness, sadness, anger, and that was about it. A bit of cockiness, too, that you picked up from Kadaj. She smiles, and watches you eat, and then directs you to the bathroom before you even finish. It's hard to stand, your legs have become jelly. As you wash your hands in the sink, you glance up, catching yourself in the mirror and sort of gasp. You had wondered lightly why she hadn't killed you on sight, and why she had nursed you back to health. You see now she didn't recognize you, you barely recognize yourself. You touch your cheek lightly, revealing in the fact that your skin feels warm and alive. When you were 'Loz', you knew it didn't feel this way, it was cold and clammy...almost like you were dead, and in a way, you were. Your hair isn't silver anymore, it's black, and your eyes are blue again. Your large muscles have all but disappeared, leaving you a scrawny being. You're thin in lack of nutrition, but healthy otherwise. You don't look like the old you, but at least no one out there with silver hair will call you brother now. You clear your throat before walking back out in hopes that you may be able to say something to her. She smiles at you again when you sit on the bed and she asks you your name, saying hers is Tifa Lockhart.

"Shale."

You sort of gasp at the almost automatic reaction of stating your name.

"So you do have a voice." She says, smiling.

You wonder if all she ever does is smile, course, not that you mind. You can't remember the last smile that was directed towards you that didn't have some type of malice to it. You also don't know if Shale's really your name, or just some resemblance to your name. When she caries your dirty dishes downstairs, and says that you should take a shower, you move towards the bathroom with your borrowed clothes. She says she tossed out your curtain toga thing. As you stand in the shower and remember what it's like to feel, words escape your mouth, surprising you.

"Love is life, and life is love.

Fly away my beautiful dove."

When you see him the first time, you pity him, thinking he's a broken man...nothing more than a shell. He shows little emotions when he looks at you, but seems to ignore everything else and considers you with a strange look. You think it's your fault. That last stunt you pulled up in the ruins could've cost him a lot. Still, once Kadaj had...well, 'died', you couldn't bring yourself to shoot him with Yazoo. Yazoo was angry with you, and so was your 'Loz' self. You don't care though, you know if you shot him along with Yazoo, he'd probably die. So you have a lot of respect for him when he walks into the bar, unaffected it seems by any past wounds. He gives you a strange look, almost as if he's recognized you for a moment, and then sort of shrugs and continues on about his daily routine. You don't know where you fit in all this, and kind of wish you had something to do, but Tifa tells you that you still need to recover. After he leaves and she's working on opening the bar, she asks you where you live, and who your family is. Even though you remember, you don't tell her.

You cast your eyes down, and say "I don't remember, but I think my parents are dead."

You're an orphan. You realize this with a grim thought.

She gives you a sad smile and replies, "Don't worry, we're all orphans here."

That day you meet the children. Denzel is nice enough, but the girl, Marlene...when she looks at you, you're afraid she can see straight through you, that she sees Loz. She doesn't speak to you much, and while, she isn't mean, she acts like you don't exist. You think that maybe she doesn't recognize you, but reminds her of Loz. You're ashamed of yourself, and decide how to make it all up to Tifa. She's always haggard, running around the bar between customers and the children, so you say you'll help her with the bar. But she never lets you help at the bar; instead most of the time you end up with the children. This way, Marlene soon overcomes her shyness, seeing that it isn't Loz you figure, and Denzel is just Denzel.

You form a quick daily routine like the rest of them. You wake in the morning, and eat breakfast with the children. While Tifa prepares the bar, you get the kids ready for school. They've taken a liking to you, and you've taken a liking to them. They make you feel like you have purpose, like they give you a reason in life to keep on living and not just curl up and die. You walk the kids to school, and it's interesting to see how their friends react. Some of them are jealous, others in just plain awe, when it's Marlene who states (and that's the surprising part for you) that you're their big brother. In a way, it sounds kind of nice. That is the role you've taken on, you believe. It makes you feel sort of, special, and important. You stand a little taller, a bit prouder, than you have in a long time. It only bothers you at first that the word 'brother' brings up unwanted memories. However, you work past it, seeing the new meaning behind it. You pick them up at the end of the school day, help them with homework, play with them, and then help Tifa fix supper. You eat with the two, though Tifa never does. She always eats with him. You wrestle the two into the tub as he comes in, tired and stinking from the days events. You finally get them into bed, where you read or tell a story. You go to bed yourself not to long after, but not before you hear Tifa and Cloud come up to tell the kids good night.

You wear smiles on your face more often now, and you attribute it mostly to the kids and their infecting presence of mind. Also, though, you attribute it to Tifa. She's has a contagious air about her, that makes you feel good. On more than one occasion you've watched her talk drunken customers out suicide.

"Everyone has rough times," She says. "If you're brave enough to survive them though, then things have to get better. Sure, you're thinking that you've been working so long, nothing has changed! But you have to do more than just work. You have to believe, and you have to love...cause what's life without love? Go get a dog or a cat and make it your pet and love it...always love someone or something, or else life isn't worth living. Go out and find someone to love, and you'll be okay. You can't give up if you love someone."

It's at this point and time that the drunken suicidal people will reply that they love her.

She doesn't realize how much of an impact these words have on you, and how you know in your heart you'll live your life by them. After all, you've found some people to love, and you can't give up if you love someone.

Breathe my child, it's all okay.

Don't cry anymore, my love today.

Love is life, and life is love,

Fly away my beautiful dove.