A/n same warnings apply as the first chapter. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Is anyone else having trouble uploading documents or is it just me?

Disclaimer: I don't own CM only my own characters

Reid closed his phone; he'd just called Morgan to inform him what was happening, and to tell him he wouldn't be back to the BAU indefinitely. Morgan had understood, and had said he would come up with a story for the rest of the team. Reid could tell them himself when he was ready. He had decided that he was going to stay with Elle and Kara till she was well. He kept up a mantra to himself.

She's going to be fine, just believe she's going to be fine.

This he repeated to himself, over and over again, till it was a desperate prayer to the invisible Keeper of the Universe. He'd never believed in a Supreme Power until now. He had to believe in something, because Kara had to be all right, he had to have the chance to know her, and love her.

He finally convinced Elle to leave the hospital, and get food. He wanted to stand vigil as much as she did, but he couldn't stand the waiting, and the wondering. He had to get out of there, just for a couple of hours. He vetoed the hospital cafeteria. He hated hospitals, and refused to eat their food if he didn't have to. Anyway they needed to talk.

"I don't want to do this in public, Spencer, my home is in Georgetown. Lets just head out there, and we can stop, and grab fast food on the way."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea Elle, that last time we were alone together, we conceived a child."

She stopped just outside the door to the ER, and looked at him like he was crazy. "I don't have plans to try and seduce you Dr Reid, my little girl was almost killed, and sex is the furthest thing from my mind."

She was extremely irritated that he'd even suggest such a possibility. It made her wonder what else he was thinking. She wasn't sure she wanted to know. The truth was she didn't trust herself with him, alone… despite what had happened to Kara. He was her daughter's father and she was pretty sure she loved him. She'd been able to convince herself it wasn't true till he'd stepped through the ER doors, and her heart had stopped.

She had forgotten just how very attractive he was, in spite of no regard for what he wore, or that he was still way too skinny. His eyes were the same, expressive and beautiful, just like Kara's.

God, she was so confused. Why did this have to happen this way? Why were their lives a constant train wreck waiting to happen?

"Elle, are you listening to me, or are you going to day-dream all day?"

God, she couldn't even pay attention to him for five minutes. This was going to be a long afternoon.

She ignored him till they reached the car, and he asked her what she wanted to eat. She told him just to stop at the first place he saw. It didn't matter… she wasn't planning on eating anything, anyway.

He picked up food at the first burger join the found, hamburgers were the only food he liked when upset or angry.

She gave him directions to get to her home. They made the rest of the drive in stony silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. She spoke only to tell him to turn left here, or turn right there. Soon they were in front of a white two story home that looked like it had come straight out of "Leave it to Beaver" Spencer was a little shocked, this was the last place he expected Elle to live.

"What," she said, a little irritated when after parking the truck, he just sat there staring at her home.

"I just didn't expect that you would live in a place like this, it's so - well so domestic."

"I'm a mother now Spencer, I'm not going to live in a little apartment anymore."

He got out of his SUV without another word, and followed her into the house. If was beautifully decorated in soft pastel colors. The windows sparkled, and were hung with white lace curtains. As she led him to the kitchen, they passed the living room. The sight of Kara toys strewn about broke his heart, again.

She dropped the paper sack of food on the table, and pulled off her jacket. She sat down without offering him a chair. That was okay, she could be defensive and rude. In fact he hoped she would, it would make what he wanted to say to her easier. He pulled out a burger, and began to eat, as she began to speak.

"Spencer, I wanted to tell you about Kara, a million times I nearly picked up the phone to call you, and it just never seemed to be the right time. I didn't want to disturb you life."

"You think that telling me I was a father would disturb my life?"

"Oh come on, you're Dr Reid, profiler extraordinaire, you live in a small apartment that you keep so neat it borders on obsessive, and you don't like children."

"Please don't tell me those are your excuses for withholding my child from me because if you're serious, then you aren't the Elle I knew from six years ago. That Elle was upfront and honest - she wouldn't make up lame excuses to cover up her real reasons for her actions."

"You don't know me anymore Spencer - you have no idea what I would or wouldn't do."

"Well that much is obvious."

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated Dr Reid.

"And neither are your insults," He said, anger threatening to overflow.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I had plans to introduce you to Kara. I never wanted things to happen the way they have, you have to believe me.

He got up, his food forgotten and began to pace. There was something she was holding back, and he didn't know how to make her tell him. This was more than her not wanting to disturb his life, but he knew she wouldn't tell him till she wanted to. Still, that didn't mean he wouldn't push, and push hard.

"Elle you and I both know there is no reason in the world for you to keep my daughter a secret. So, I'll ask you again, why didn't you tell me about her?"

"I was afraid you would hate me, for everything that happened between us."

'Elle… stop lying to me, damn it. I know you, and you never cared about my feelings before, so why start now? You were the one who seduced me, because you wanted to punish the team for abandoning you. I was the easy target, geeky young Dr Reid. You used my insecurities against me, you knew I had a crush on you, and that made it that much easier for you."

Elle stood up her eyes blazing as she grabbed one of his arms. "Don't lecture to me Dr Reid, it was Hotch that sent me home that night, it was Gideon that broke Gardner's rules to not involve anyone but the team, he had JJ call that press conference. If he hadn't done that, Gardner wouldn't have come after me. I almost died that day, so don't you dare preach to me."

"I know you almost died Elle, I was there and I was terrified for you, but I couldn't let it show. You were always way out of my league, so I had to be content to admire you from a distance."

He couldn't believe he'd just admitted all of this to her. He was so angry that his better sense had gone out the window. He pulled his arm out of her grasp, and walked out of the kitchen into the living room. He sat down on the couch, and nearly lost that last of his composure when he saw the drawing on the floor. It was clearly a child's drawing, but it showed the potential for real talent.

He picked up the drawing to get a closer look at it. In the drawing was a house just like Elle's with a figure of a woman, and a small child holding hands in front of the home. The colors were bight, and cheerful. At least she was happy here, thank God.

Elle stood in the doorway, and watched him breakdown as he held Kara's drawing in his hand. It truly hit her at that moment just what she had done, and she was overcome with remorse so large it blocked out even the grief she felt for her child's pain.

"Jesus Christ Elle… you really are an insensitive bitch. I don't think I've ever hated anyone more than I hate you right now." His voice was so choked with tears she could barely understand him.

"I hope to God for your sake that Kara pulls through this," Elle said from the doorway. She knew better than to approach him.

"Since when did you care about me… or my child? If you'd had any compassion in you soul, I wouldn't be waiting to meet my baby girl for the first time in a hospital bed."

He got up still holding the picture, and moved past her heading for the front door, he didn't want to be there anymore. Elle could wait for news on her own. He had to get a hold of his emotions on his own, without the confusion, just being near her brought to him.

"Spencer… wait-"

She put a hand on his arm to stop him from leaving. He shrugged her hand away. "Elle, I'm going to leave now before I say, or do something I regret. You and I will pick this up after we find out how our daughter is doing. Right now, I need to find a motel to stay in - I'm not leaving DC till she's well."

"Stay here Spencer, I have an extra room, there's no reason for you to pay for a room."

"You can't be serious Elle - there is no way I am going to stay in this house, alone with you. If you seriously think I would, you are more deluded than I thought."

"I don't know how many ways I can tell you I'm sorry Spencer."

"You can start by telling me the truth Elle, why did you keep me away from my daughter?"

How could she tell him that staying away from him was the only way she had to forget what Gardner did to her? How could she tell him that she loved him more than anyone else in the world, but she had realized it too late? The dye had been set the day she learned she was pregnant, and made the decision to stay away from him, the BAU, and everything that had hurt her.

"Spencer I-" she couldn't say it.

He turned from her and left the house. She fell on the couch, and cried for all of the things she'd lost because of her own stubborn pride, and need for revenge. She didn't move until it was time for her to go back to the hospital. Kara would be out of recovery, and she could finally see her sweet little girl.