Where the Real Demons Are

by EGB Fan

Egon is convinced there's "something coming", but it seems that other members of the team are too preoccupied with their own stuff to do anything about it.

2. Chapter 2

Extreme Ghostbusters: Where the Real Demons Are

Part 2

Garrett was only too happy to get away from the atmosphere at home, and Winston Zeddemore moved pretty fast when he heard there was trouble at the party his daughter was attending. Eduardo and Roland both made themselves available too, and they took a full quota of equipment with them for Peter.

When they arrived on the Venkmans' street, they saw a lot of bewildered looking teenage boys getting into chauffeured cars, and inside the house Charlene was talking to a gaggle of girls. When she saw her father she said, "Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I'm checking you're okay," said Winston.

"I'm okay," Charlene said airily. "Hey, can I stay the night?"

"Um, why?" asked Winston.

"We're, like, having a slumber party?" a pretty raven-haired girl said. She made it sound like a question. "So that Amber doesn't have to go home because, like, something's happened to her and she doesn't want her mom and dad to know or something?"

"Right," said Winston. "What's happened to her?"

"I don't know," the girl said scathingly.

"Can I stay, Dad?" asked Charlene.

"Sure, if whatever's been hassling Amber's gone," said Winston.

"Great," said Charlene. "Okay, who else for the slumber party?"

Winston made his way upstairs behind the three younger Ghostbusters, where they found Peter, Dana and Ant all crowded round the bathroom door, and Oz leaning casually on the opposite wall. Dana had her arm around Ant, who was looking slightly green.

"Amber?" called Peter. "Some more Ghostbusters are here. Are you going to let us in?"

"No!" Amber called back.

"Amber." Inside, Jessica's voice was distinctly audible. "They're here to help you."

Amber hissed something at her, and then the two girls in the bathroom proceeded to have a hushed conversation until Jessica came out - making sure to shut the door behind her - and said, "Okay, have you guys seen that episode of South Park where the school nurse has a dead foetus on her head?"

"Er, yeah," said Garrett.

"I haven't," said Roland.

"Ha, yeah, right - I don't suppose you watch South Park," said Jessica. "But you get the picture, right? She has a dead foetus on her head? Well… it's that."

"What?" said Peter. "You mean Amber has a dead foetus on her head?"

"Yes."

"How the hell did that happen?" cried Ant.

"Ant, honey, calm down, she'll be okay," Dana said soothingly, squeezing his shoulder.

"Okay," said Jessica. "Here's the only thing I can think. She - "

"Ant." Charlene suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs. "Your mom's here."

"I can't leave Amber," said Ant.

"Ant, go home!" Amber yelled from the bathroom. "You can't see me like this!"

"But Amber," said Ant, "I don't care if you've got a dead foetus on your head!"

"Wait - what?" said Charlene.

"Come on, Ant, let's go," Dana said gently, and she started steering him downstairs. "Now don't worry - by the time you wake up tomorrow she'll be absolutely fine."

"Char," said Jessica, "who can stay for the emergency slumber party?"

"Most people are getting picked up," said Charlene, "but Dylan and Shelby can stay."

"Ugh - Dylan and Shelby?" moaned Jessica. "But they're almost as bad as Amber!"

"Hey!" yelled Amber.

"Amber, listen," said Winston. "You really are going to have to let at least one of us see your… foetus."

"No way!"

"Jess, what's your theory?" asked Roland, just as Dana reappeared.

"Well, it's flawed," said Jessica, "because I know that if Amber had a conjoined twin it would have to be the same sex as her - but the only reason I can think this might have happened to her is that she said she said she wished she had a brother who was in the news all the time."

"Oh," said Garrett, "one of those."

"It can't be a brother, though," said Jessica.

"Well," said Roland, "this is some kind of magic we're dealing with - obviously that's not an actual conjoined twin. Amber… someone needs to take a look at it."

"Oh Jesus, all right, just one of you," said Amber.

"Ooh - me!" Garrett said eagerly.

Roland looked dubious but said, without much enthusiasm, "All right, go on then."

Amber unlocked the bathroom door, and Garrett pushed it wide to go in. Everyone clamoured for a look, but sensibly Amber had hidden behind the door. They heard Garrett exclaiming, "Whoa!", much as Jessica had done, and then waited.

"Well," Garrett's voice came shortly, "it has a penis."

"Eww! Oh my God!" squealed Amber.

"Well," said Roland, as Garrett re-emerged, "that's newsworthy all right. I suppose it could be possible, if one twin was a hermaphrodite, or both of them were, and their sex organs developed to look different even though they're essentially the same."

"I'm not a hermaphrodite!" sobbed Amber.

"No one's saying you are, honey," Dana said soothingly.

"I think it's more likely," said Oz, speaking for the first time, as two girls who had to be Dylan and Shelby appeared on the scene, "that the being responsible for this doesn't really understand monozygotic twins."

"Is Amber, like, still in the bathroom?" the dark-haired girl from earlier asked scathingly.

"I'm staying in here all night!" Amber said defiantly.

"Amber, come on!" the other girl, a cutesy curly-haired blonde, said imploringly. "We're gonna make a list of all the boys in our class and then give them marks out of ten. And Dylan's got nail varnish!"

Jessica clutched both hands to her forehead. "Oh my God."

"Amber, come on, you don't want to miss all the fun," Dana said reasonably. "Look… what if we wrapped a towel around it or something?"

"I might just get looking for that entity," said Roland, beginning to slink away.

Amber was silent for a moment. Then she said, "I guess that could work."

"Can I come in?" asked Dana.

"Well… okay."

"Jessica," said Shelby, the blond girl. "What are we, like, supposed to wear?"

"Can't you just wear that?" asked Jessica.

"What, like, you mean sleep in a halter top?" said Dylan. "Hello?"

Jessica stared blankly at her for a moment. Then she said, "I'll find you something," and walked off along the landing.

"Thank you!" Shelby called after. "It'll be, like, way fun - I promise!"

"It's no longer in the house," said Roland, reappearing just as Amber emerged from the bathroom, wearing a large towel on her head with a very noticeable bump on the left-hand side. "Ah, Amber… I don't suppose you saw what did this to you?"

Amber sniffed, swiped at a tear with her hand and said, "No."

"Well," said Roland, "never mind - we can still follow it."

"Okay," said Jessica, pushing into the gathering and thrusting identical black-and-pink t-shirts at Charlene, Dylan and Shelby. "Mood Slime t-shirts for the three of you. Amber, I found you something with buttons so you wouldn't have to take the towel off to get it over your, um… head. Here - this is one of Oscar's."

Again, Amber's eyes started to fill up, but this time they were tears of joy as she took the faded black shirt and said, "Oh… thank you!"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"It will have headed for the nearest place where there are a lot of people still awake," said Roland, as the five Ghostbusters all piled out of Peter's front door, "if it's one those demons that takes wishes and turns them into something horrible. Or we could go back to the firehouse and find out if there have been any other reports of this nature."

"Oz!" said Peter, when Oz too came out of the house. "How are you getting home?"

"I'm walking," said Oz.

"You walk everywhere."

"Well, it's not difficult - I've been doing it since I was a year old."

Peter's eyes narrowed on Oz's face - not that he could see much of it in the darkness. "Sarcasm doesn't suit you. I want to ask you something."

"Oh yes?"

"What were you doing with that doll, what's her name…?"

"Sindy," said Oz, "as I recall. Wanda gave that to me."

"Why?" asked Eduardo, who suddenly seemed to have cropped up beside Peter.

"She thought I could use it."

"What for?"

"For Jessica," said Oz, "to get closer to her. Wanda told me it used to belong to her. I returned it, of course, as soon as I found out that your daughters would be missing it."

"What the hell did you do with it in the meantime?" Peter asked shrilly.

"It made me curious, I do admit," said Oz. "I may have read the doll a little."

"That's disgusting!"

"Oh, not really. You can't learn much from toys."

"And that's it?" asked Eduardo.

"Well," said Oz, "is there anything else you wish to ask me?"

"Well… no…"

"Then I must be leaving," said Oz. "Goodnight to you."

Peter watched him walk away, open-mouthed, apparently speechless. Eduardo said, "I… there's something not quite right about that."

"Hey, you guys!" called Garrett, from the Ecto-1. "What are you doing over there?"

Eduardo and Peter exchanged rueful looks, and then made their way over to the Ecto-1. Eduardo was the first to make it into the front, with Winston and Roland, meaning that Peter had to get into the back with Garrett.

"Finally," said Garrett. "Hey, Eddie - you be careful with this demon, okay?"

"Right, yeah," Eduardo said heavily.

"You remember what happened that time you wished you could get into Kylie's - "

"That is not what I wished for!"

"No?" Garrett raised his eyebrows, catching Eduardo's eye in the rear view mirror. "So what did you wish for to make you end up stuck inside of her cat?"

Eduardo averted his gaze, muttering, "That's private."

"Oh, okay," Garrett said sardonically. "Just remember not to say 'I wish' to anyone or anything, won't you?"

"Like I would," said Eduardo. "I didn't actually say 'I wish' the last time."

"What? Why not?" Roland, who was driving, jumped in. "It was a demon that granted wishes - I thought you had to say 'I wish'."

"Well you didn't," Eduardo said irritably. "You just had to tell it what you wanted."

"It's not a nice thing to tell a stranger, Eddie, is it?" said Garrett.

"Leave him alone, Garrett," said Roland. "It's not funny anymore. And besides, you need to be careful more than anyone - you have someone in your apartment you want to get rid of."

"Yeah, sure," said Garrett. "You'll be all right, seeing as Grace doesn't have a cat."

Roland was following a dimming PKE trail, and before long they were flagged down by an anxious looking young woman in the first busy street they came to. Roland pulled over, wound down his window and said, "What seems to be the problem?"

"Something really weird is happening in that pizza joint over there," the woman said, in panicked tones. "Things keep happening to people. I was talking to my friend about her boyfriend, and now suddenly she's eight months pregnant!"

"It's keen on foetuses, isn't it?" Garrett said quietly.

"Ma'am… what's your name?" asked Roland.

"Kristy Shaw," the woman said.

"Kristy, by any chance, when you were talking to your friend did she say 'I wish'?"

"Um." Kristy thought for a moment. Then she said, "Yes! Yes she did. She's worried her boyfriend's gonna dump her, and she said she wished she had more to offer him."

"I don't suppose you saw what did it to her?" asked Roland.

Kristy shook her head. "Sorry."

"All right." Roland opened the car door. "We'll take a look."

As the five Ghostbusters made their way towards the pizza joint, Garrett remarked, "That woman's friend and Amber's wishes were very vague, weren't they? I wonder if it still turns the wish into something shitty if you're more specific. Like, if I wished Stephie could get a job in Burger King…"

"Mmm," Peter said grimly, "or I wished Jessica would stop seeing Oz."

"Don't you dare!" Winston said sharply. "Either of you! Do you want Jess to go blind and, um, Stephie to end up in a hamburger?"

"Ooh, yeah, maybe I should rephrase that," said Garrett.

"Right," said Peter. "Maybe if I - "

"No!" snapped Winston.

They expected chaos when they entered the pizza joint, and they found it. Somebody's head had shrunk to the size of a tangerine; somebody had huge purple boils bursting out of their clothes, and one woman was chasing around an excitable chimpanzee that might once have been a person.

"Whoa," said Roland. "I wonder what they all wished for."

Winston went in and started talking to the woman with the chimpanzee. All five Ghostbusters picked someone to interview; Garrett went to two acne-ridden young men who were serving, and came back with the most useful information of anyone.

"Apparently they served a lady who was dressed like somebody out of a Sinbad movie," he said. "She was sitting over there by the window."

"Right," said Roland, looking at the empty window seat. "Well, she's not there now."

"You should have been a cop," said Garrett.

They all crowded around the spot with their PKE meters, and came to the conclusion that a supernatural being had been sitting there all right. Then Garrett added helpfully, "The guy said she had one of those swords."

"What swords?" Eduardo asked disinterestedly.

"You know, one of those eastern ones. A, um… a scimitar."

"Right," said Peter, "well, she sounds paranormal all right - let's get after her."

They followed the entity's trail out onto the street, but then Peter fell behind when his cell phone rang. Looking at the caller display, he saw that it was Jessica calling, and immediately answered it.

"Help!" Jessica said feebly.

"Is it really that bad?"

"We were just playing Truth or Dare - they were asking me the most… personal questions - and now Dylan's crying in the bathroom and she won't come out."

"Why?" asked Peter.

"Well apparently Shelby kissed her boyfriend once at a party or something. It's all completely juvenile."

"Well honey, I don't know what you want me to do."

Jessica sighed. "I guess there's nothing you can do."

"How's Charlene?"

"She's enjoying herself okay - or she was, before Dylan locked herself in the bathroom. She's trying to get her out now."

"I wish I knew what to tell you," said Peter. "But unfortunately I'm not a girl, so I don't know how these things work."

"I guess I could persuade them to play the Orange Game."

"The what?"

"The Orange Game - it's way fun," said Jessica, her tone brightening. "You start by getting somebody to name four boys, four places - like the shower or in church or something - four male body parts and four things you can do with an orange."

"Right, and then what?"

"Ah, well… just think about it. Shelby, can you get a pen and some paper from that middle drawer there? Yeah, so anyway - how are you getting on?"

"We've almost found it," said Peter. "Then it'll just be a matter of trapping it."

"Cool," said Jessica. "Shelby, we can't use that for the Orange Game, it was expensive - there should be like a crummy old notebook in there or something."

"Jess," Peter said hesitantly. "I spoke to Oz just before we left."

Jessica's tone hardened as she said, "Oh yes?"

"You, er… might want to ask him what he was doing with that old Sindy doll."

"Oh I might, might I?"

"Please," Peter said pathetically.

"Yeah, maybe," Jessica said coldly. "I have to go."

She hung up, and Peter thought with a pang that he could guess what she was thinking: He's just like Mom. It wasn't easy for him, having his wife and daughter feuding. He sympathised with Dana, because he didn't like Jessica seeing Oz either, but on the other hand he knew what it was to be fifteen and desperate not to be kept a child any longer.

But those were matters for another time. Peter caught sight of his companions entering a fast food establishment, and went to join them. They were all standing around with PKE meters and looking vague. When Roland caught sight of Peter, he said distastefully, "What have you been doing?"

"Jess called," said Peter.

"Yeah?" said Winston. "How's Amber?"

"She didn't say."

"It's in here somewhere," said Roland. "Only we can't see it."

"Okay," said Eduardo, "so let's get looking."

He started a very intense search of the premises, much to the bemusement of the customers and the girl serving behind the counter, but as soon as the other Ghostbusters were absorbed in their own detective work Eduardo sidled up beside Peter and said quietly, "Did you tell her about the doll?"

"I said she might want to ask Oz about it."

"And will she?"

"I'm sure she will, even if she doesn't tell me about it. It's no good me just telling her stuff like that - she'd only pretend not to care. But if I can get her wondering and she actually asks him… I don't know, we'll see. Look, why are you so interested, anyway? What are you trying to find out?"

"I've told you, that's my business."

"So then stop asking me questions about Oz all the time," said Peter. "If you've got some kind of beef with him then either tell me or keep it to your- "

"Hey!" Winston's voice cut across them. "Stop bickering!"

"This whole I-know-something-but-it's-too-important-for-the-likes-of-you act is really starting to piss me off," Peter went on, in a low voice. "Put yourself in my shoes. What if one of your girls was hanging out with a psycho and I knew something about him that I kept hinting at, but refused to actually say?"

"I don't know anything about Oz," hissed Eduardo.

"Well that's obviously not true. Jesus, Eduardo, I wish you'd just - "

He was cut off when Eduardo clamped a gloved hand across his mouth. The two men glared at each other for a few moments, and then suddenly Eduardo's eyes darted towards the fryer behind the counter. He took his hand away from Peter's mouth, and made his way across the room.

"What have you seen?" Roland asked sharply.

"Something moved over here," said Eduardo.

He went and stood by the fryer, looked at the floor surrounding it for a few moments and finally stooped down and picked something up off the ground. The five Ghostbusters pushed their way past confused looking patrons to convene around an empty table, and Eduardo showed them a jewelled ring that was giving off a very strong PKE signal.

"Give that to me," said Winston.

Eduardo gave it to him, and Winston put the ring down on the floor. He then shot a short burst of proton fire at it, and suddenly it exploded into the likeness of a particularly beautiful brown-skinned woman. Dressed in rich jewellery and colourful veils, and with the promised scimitar hanging at her waist, she looked indignantly at the five men surrounding her. Then suddenly she adopted a serene expression and said, "I am the Genie of the Ring. Please, good sir," looking at Peter, "tell me what you wish of me."

"Do you just overhear wishes and grant them?" Garrett asked scathingly.

"It's better that way," the genie said smilingly. "People wish so much more… truthfully when they don't have the opportunity to prepare."

"They don't know what they're wishing for," snapped Peter. "You couldn't seriously have thought that my daughter's fr-… er, classmate wanted a dead foetus on her head!"

"Yeah, have you been watching South Park?" Garrett asked interestedly.

"I am always watching," said the genie. "I see many things."

"Let's just blast her," said Eduardo.

At this the genie, clearly realising that it wasn't going to be good, suddenly grew to twice her height and her eyes glowed red. She drew her scimitar and slashed violently at Eduardo, who took a step back and just avoided being sliced across the middle. Winston responded quickly with a blast of proton fire at the genie's right hand. She screamed and dropped the scimitar; it was then small trouble for the Ghostbusters to get her into a trap.

Like the goblins and the mountain troll, it wasn't difficult at all. While Eduardo was picking up the trap and Winston retrieving the intact spectral scimitar, Roland went to check on the pizza joint across the street while Peter went over to the girl who was serving and said, "You'll be receiving an invoice during the week."

The girl was too young and timid to argue, just as Peter had thought. Once they'd left, Roland said to him, "We can't charge them - they didn't call us!"

"Yeah," added Garrett. "You did."

"Someone has to pay us," said Peter. "No one actually paid us for that mountain troll, if you remember."

"Your daughter called us to that one too, Pete," said Winston.

"Yeah, well, that one'll have to be on the house," said Peter. "I can't take it out of her allowance - she's on the verge of hating me as it is."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Kylie was just climbing into bed when Eduardo arrived home. The first thing she said to him was, "What was it?"

"Genie," he said.

"Oh - tell me."

She seemed more than usually interested in what he had to say, and nodded along in a just-as-I-thought kind of way when he described to her exactly what the genie did. Then when he had finished she said, "It still fits with my human weakness theory."

"How?" asked Eduardo.

"Well," said Kylie, "greed, obviously."

He nodded. "Of course."

"It's interesting that it was a genie," said Kylie. "She looked eastern, did she?"

"Sure, I guess."

"That's interesting, because we've already had goblins and a mountain troll within the past few days. Goblins are from the west, and the mountain troll would have been from the north - they're Scandinavian. So maybe we can expect something from the south."

"The south is nearer than the east," said Eduardo. "Why wouldn't that one come before the genie? I mean, the goblins came first, and then the troll had further to travel…"

"Well, if they're harbingers of doom," said Kylie, "they'll come in a particular order. I guess west, north, east, south makes a neat circle."

"So after whatever comes from the south…?"

"I might be wrong about that, but if I'm not then I think we should tackle this one entity at a time. Still, it can't hurt for me to do some research tomorrow. I shouldn't assume these things are all related, but Egon's so sure there's something coming, and I've just got a really strong hunch these things are connected by the flaws in humanity they represent."

Eduardo snorted. "There's more than four of those."

"I know, babe."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Peter would have liked a lie-in on Sunday morning, but it was impossible with five teenage girls stampeding all over the house and fighting over the bathroom. When he emerged from his bedroom, a few minutes after Dana had vacated the bed, he saw Amber coming out of the bathroom wearing a Mood Slime t-shirt, which thankfully reached her knees. She was as knowingly pretty as ever, and running a comb through her long golden tresses as she asked loudly, "Jessica, where's your hair straightener?"

Jessica's head popped out of her bedroom doorway, wearing a blank look, and she said, "Where's my what?"

"Here you go, Amber, you can borrow mine," said Dana, brushing past Peter with a lethal looking implement in her hand. "I'm glad to see you're back to normal."

Dana looked happy to be hosting Jessica's first (and almost certainly last) girly event, but Peter was finding it all very alien. When he passed Jessica's bedroom doorway, he trod on a piece of notebook paper that he found to read: "Josh, school cafeteria, penis, peel; Ant, Statue of Liberty, balls, squeeze; Ricky, McDonald's restroom, buttocks, juice"; at that point he stopped reading. Dylan came bouncing out the bedroom and swept past him just as the phone started ringing. Peter went downstairs, and answered the phone to Ant.

"How's Amber?" the boy asked anxiously.

"Oh, yeah, she's fine now," said Peter. "We dealt with it."

The expressions of relief were so uninhibited that Peter was quite moved. Ant then requested that he be allowed to talk to Amber; Peter called her down and handed her the phone, and then went to the kitchen, where he found Dana making an awful lot of toast.

Jessica was there too, saying hotly, "That was the worst night of my life."

"Wait until you've spent twenty-three hours in a hospital trying to give birth," said Dana.

"Ha, yeah, right - like that's ever gonna happen. Oh - hi, Dad. What was it?"

"What was what?" asked Peter.

"Duh - last night," said Jessica. "The thing that made me have that slumber party."

"Oh, right," said Peter. "Genie."

"What, really?"

"Yeah - she was kinda like Barbara Eden in that thing."

"I Dream of Jeannie," said Dana.

"Right, only she looked less American. Morning, Amber," as Amber walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel great," Amber said brightly. "Thanks for dealing with it, Dr. Venkman."

"Oh, no problem," said Peter.

"And I'm sorry I ruined your birthday party," she said to Jessica.

Jessica blinked. "You are?"

"Of course. I mean, it wasn't the best party, but that's not the point. And thanks for having that slumber party - I know all that stuff's not really your thing."

"Yeah, you're right, it's not," said Jessica.

"But it was kinda fun in the end, wasn't it? I mean, like, you laughed when we played the Orange Game. Where d'you learn that, anyway?"

"My cousin taught it to me a few years ago."

"Which one?" asked Peter. Between them Dana's two brothers had three children, and he was interested in knowing which of them had taught his daughter a game that apparently involved making up erotic tortures for the boys in her class.

"Serena, obviously - it's a girl game," said Jessica. "Dad, are you going to work today?"

"I guess so," said Peter.

"Can I come with you to the firehouse and finish my homework?"

"Sure, if you want to."

Peter had an idea that Jessica didn't want to be on her own in the house with Dana. They had called a truce for the party, and then Amber's ordeal had been a distraction to everyone, but now there was no reason for the hostility not to resume.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

To the untrained eye, the firehouse late on Sunday morning would have provided a rather touching scene. Kylie was kicking back on the couch, absorbed in a book, while her husband and young daughters, Conchita and Rose, played with Barbie dolls on the floor; and Jessica was quietly doing her homework while her father sat nearby, engrossed in conversation with an old friend. Even Slimer, the Ghostbusters' glutinous pet ghoul, added to the hominess of it with his insistence on helping Jessica. It would have been impossible to tell that Eduardo was going crazy wondering about one scruffy brown-haired doll in particular, or that Kylie was reading about a possible end of the world scenario, or that Jessica was silently trying to decide which she hated more: algebra, or her mother. She felt so strongly towards both of them, Slimer didn't even register.

As for Peter, he was pestering Egon by asking what a warlock could learn about a person from a doll that had once belonged to her, and trying not to be overheard as he did so. Egon, who was anxious to examine the scimitar that lay on a nearby table, was insisting with increasing volume, "I don't know," until Eduardo heard him and was moved to say, "Why can't you just take 'I don't know' for an answer?"

"Why don't you butt out?" retorted Peter.

"Are you on about that damn doll again?" Jessica asked sharply. "If I want to know about that, I'll ask Oz, okay? Now just drop it!"

"HEY!" yelled Kylie. "Look, we have got to stop this - I've just found something out."

"What's that?" Egon asked wearily.

"My harbingers-from-the-four-corners-of-the-earth theory," said Kylie. "It might be right. I've just found this old Norse prophecy."

"Norse?" said Egon. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's been translated, so it's probably not all that accurate, but this is what it says." She cleared her throat, and began to read: " 'And monsters shall come from the north, the south, the east and west, and they shall show the humans their own Evil, and the humans may die if the monsters are made wrathful. And when the final monster has come, the humans' own Evil shall appear to them in its purest form. And where there is anger, the demon shall be strong. And where there is hatred, the demon shall be strong. And where there is greed, the demon shall be strong. And where there is foolish pride, the demon shall be strong. And where there is selfishness and lovelessness, the demon shall gain great power, and the world will be consumed by the Evil of its human parasites.'"

"Well," said Jessica, "my English teacher would hate that - she busts a gut if anyone starts a sentence with 'And'."

"Jessica, this is serious," said Kylie. "If this is what's happening now, then we can expect one more harbinger, and then the main event!"

"What, the destruction of the entire world?"

"Yes!"

She turned back to her maths book, muttering, "Good."

"Don't say that, Jessica," said Peter.

"I mean it!" Jessica said loudly. "I'm so sick of it!"

"Of what?" Conchita asked anxiously, always sorry to see someone distressed.

"Everything!" said Jessica. "I'm sick of this math homework, and I'm sick of school and everyone there, and I'm sick of home, and I am sick to death of my fucking mother…!"

"Don't talk about your mother that way," snapped Peter.

"And you're no better," Jessica said bitterly. "Mom didn't have to let you do it, but it was still you who turned her into a little wifey at home, wasn't it? If I ever end up married to some guy who goes around talking about me as 'we' then I'll - "

"HEY!" yelled Kylie. "This isn't helping! The whole reason these harbingers of doom have been coming here is because of negative emotion. And I'm not just talking to you," she said, when Jessica looked about to give her a piece of her mind. "We all need to just… try and get along!"

As she spoke Jo Miller walked in, headed straight for the genie's scimitar, picked it up and said, "How about this for Stephie, Max - what do you think?"

She mimed stabbing somebody violently through the stomach, much to the amusement of her three-year-old son, who had followed her into the room.

"Can you put that down, please?" said Egon.

"I might just put it up here, where Max can't reach it," said Jo, taking the scimitar over to a high shelf. "You're a bit of a grabber, aren't you, honey?"

"Is this just a social visit, Jo?" asked Peter, who was not in the mood for entertaining - but quite frankly, who was?

"It's an I-can't-stand-another-minute-with-that-woman visit," said Jo.

"Can't Max stand her either?" Kylie asked interestedly. She had never known Max Miller not to like somebody, even if the feeling was not mutual.

"'Course not," said Jo. "Max likes fun people. All Stephie ever does is moan and whine. I had to put up with the sound of her voice all day yesterday and I am sick of it! And so's Max - aren't you, hon?"

"When is she going?" asked Max.

"Tell you what," said Jo. "If she's not gone by tomorrow night, you and I can go and stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a bit, okay?"

"What about Knicks?"

"Knicks can come too."

"Okay!" said Max, beaming.

"Is it really that bad?" asked Kylie, glancing down at the translated Norse prophecy.

Scowling, Jo went to join her on the sofa. "It's a complete nightmare! I don't know how much longer I can put up with her sleeping on my couch and eating my food and abusing my dog and patronising my son and hitting on my husband…"

"Oh, is she still doing that?" Kylie asked sympathetically.

"She keeps taking showers and then wandering around in a towel," said Jo.

Kylie wrinkled her nose. "That old chestnut, huh?"

"And crying."

"About what?"

"Everything! 'My dad died!' 'No one will ever want to employ me!' 'Why do we have to watch basketball? I don't understand it.' 'Look, Garrett, I'm allergic to this soap.' Whose goddamn soap is it anyway?"

"What," said Kylie, "she cries about that?"

"And the towel thing is really starting to annoy me, actually, because when she does that it even gets Max on her side."

"She's pretty," Max said simply.

"Oh, what, already?" Jessica jumped in. "Unbelievable. You're not even four!"

"You should have been at our place this morning, Max," said Peter. "It was like Miss World, if the contestants were all fifteen."

"Life must be so much easier if you're just some, some simple-minded Barbie doll whose biggest problem is deciding whether or not to straighten your hair," muttered Jessica. Then suddenly she threw down her pen, got to her feet and said, "I'm going out."

"Where?" Peter asked sharply.

"That's none of your business."

"Jessica!"

"You don't wanna make me stay, Dad - maybe I'm going to confront Oz about that doll."

"Jess, wait, let me give you some money for a cab," said Peter. "I don't want you mugged and raped and murdered and stuff."

Jessica accepted a handful of dollar bills without a word, and then made for the exit. Of everyone present, Eduardo looked most shocked by it all; he would have got something for talking to his father like that, and it wouldn't have been money for a cab.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Oz had a phone call that afternoon from Celine Beck, his ex-tenant.

"I've got a problem," she said. "Roland thinks I can tell him something incriminating about you, and I can, and now I kind of want to."

"What can you tell him?" Oz asked interestedly.

"The fact that you gave Wanda and me Eduardo's earring in exchange for the doll."

"Oh, yes, that. Must you, Celine? They'd all know within minutes, and I really don't want to sever my ties with the Ghostbusters."

"I'm sorry," said Celine. "It's just that it's kind of on my conscience now that Roland's asked me - and what if he finds out some other way?"

"What if he does?"

"He'll be very upset with me, and right now I can't think of anything worse than that. I… I think I'm in love with him."

"Really?" said Oz. "I thought you were a lesbian."

"Only sometimes, apparently."

"Oh, okay, fair enough. Celine, why are you talking to me about this? Surely you don't expect me to give you my permission."

"Well," said Celine, "I'm trying to be a better person - otherwise I've got no chance with Roland, or anyone, since I had Wanda committed - and asking seemed like the right thing to do. I mean, it's just a girl, right? And you didn't seem that fussed about her before."

"Mmm, I suppose I wasn't," Oz said speculatively. "It's different now, though. She's gotten under my skin somehow - I'm not sure I like it."

"Maybe you're falling in love with her," said Celine.

Oz winced. "Oh, I hope not."

"It might be good for you."

"Hardly."

"So maybe it'd be better if I did tell them about the earring," Celine said brightly. "Then she can dump you and you can go back to being asexual and amoral. Life must be so much easier that way."

"Easier than being bisexual and bi-moral, you mean?"

"Well, I'm certainly not finding it easy."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?" said Celine. "Y'know, for someone who claims not to care about people's feelings, you kinda seem to."

"Some of the time, I suppose I do," said Oz. "But then why did I give you that earring? I know, logically, that it was the wrong thing to do - but I don't care about that Eduardo character, so my conscience wasn't pricked."

"Yeah, well, it's sorta pricking mine at the moment."

"I won't beg. But the thing is, Celine, that if you don't tell those people about our deal with the earring, they'll never know. Wouldn't it be better all round to keep it a secret?"

"Don't you have any qualms at all about keeping secrets?"

"No," Oz said coolly. "And I'm rather surprised that you do."

"I know, it's weird. I think it's because I'm in love. It's the same with you - that's why you're feeling sympathy for me. She's touched your heart, that jailbait girl of yours."

"Celine, please, I am not in love with the Venkman girl."

"All right, if you say so," said Celine. "So if anyone did happen to find out about the earring thing, you'd know it was because of me, wouldn't you?"

"It might be Wanda," said Oz. "She's locked up, Celine - she's not dead."

"True. So would you, like, do anything to either of us if we told?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I mean, after all the things you said your father did…"

"I'm not my father," said Oz. "It's a shame he's dead, really - he and Wanda would have got on like a house on fire. Oh, there's someone at the door."

"Oh, please - that's the oldest and lamest excuse for wanting to hang up on someone."

"No, really, there is. I think it's Jessica, actually."

"Why?"

"Just a feeling. Celine, please - don't tell anyone about the earring."

"I thought you weren't going to beg," said Celine. "You totally love her, don't you?"

"Goodbye, Celine."

Oz hung up and made his way to the front door, thinking of what he could do if Celine or, somehow, Wanda did let slip that he had sold them Eduardo for an old doll - and with him knowing that the two wannabe witches were planning a horrible revenge. There were things he could do to Jessica's mind, but he had an idea that perhaps he shouldn't.

Sure enough, it was Jessica who stood on the doorstep. As soon as Oz opened the door she wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "Kiss me."

"Why?" asked Oz.

"Because you're my boyfriend."

"Would you like to come in?"

"You bet I would."

He showed her in, invited her to sit on the couch and asked, "Would you like anything?"

"I can think of a few things," she said suggestively.

"Jessica, please stop doing that."

"What?"

"That thing with your eyes."

"That's my seducing people eyes," Jessica said sulkily. "Why don't you want me, Oz?"

"Because," said Oz, rather patronisingly, as he went to sit in an armchair near her, "you are too young."

"Then what are you doing with me?"

"I like you."

"Why did you go to all the trouble of finding out about me from some stupid old doll?"

Oz raised his eyebrows, and asked, "Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes!"

"You might not like it."

"Go on."

"There was something about you," said Oz. "I don't like to use the word 'aura' - it's overused nowadays. But there's something very special about you… magically speaking. You attract things of a paranormal nature, don't you, just occasionally?"

"Maybe a couple of times," said Jessica.

"The pet ghost is fond of you."

"He's fond of my dad too."

"Then maybe it's genetic."

"Is that it?" asked Jessica. "I'm some kind of science experiment to you?"

"I'm sorry," said Oz. "I suppose you'd rather my initial attraction to you was of a more… conventional nature. But I didn't know you then - that was all I saw."

She raised her eyebrows. "And now?"

Oz didn't have an answer, but he'd read plenty of trashy and clichéd love stories in his life, and he thought he knew how to improvise. He joined Jessica on the couch and started kissing her. He had never kissed anyone besides this girl, but he found it wasn't difficult. She seemed to take the lead anyway - all he really had to do was follow. As the kiss continued, she pressed her body against his and he felt her heart rate increasing. It was okay when she slipped her hand around his neck, but when her other hand started heading somewhere lower, he felt compelled to stop it.

"Please," he said.

"Why?"

"You could get me into trouble."

"I wouldn't tell anyone," said Jessica. "I know I'm 'too young to consent to any sexual activity', but the only way anyone could know would be if I got pregnant, and we don't need to risk that. To tell you the truth, I don't even feel ready for that."

"Oh, don't you?" said Oz, feeling slightly reassured.

"I just want to touch you a little bit - where's the harm?"

"Well, I'm a man. How do you know I won't lose control and let it get too far?"

She raised her eyebrows, and said cynically, "That's what you're afraid of?"

"Why the hurry, querida?"

"Oh Jesus, I don't know," said Jessica. "I just, oh fuck it, I get horny, okay? I'm constantly surrounded by people who are having sex - well, not at the time, obviously - and I get really obsessive about it, just wanting to know what it's like, and I get so frustrated being stuck at school and at home all the time - it's driving me crazy, I've been such a bitch to everyone lately, and I know I'm doing it but I can't stop it - and it's, it's just so unfair that my brother's left home and he's out there making money and hundreds of people want to sleep with him, but my boyfriend won't even kiss me!"

"Oh, I see," said Oz, who had the feeling that she had only stopped because she was out of breath, rather than out of words. "I think everyone feels like that sometimes."

"Yeah, right," Jessica said more calmly. "I guess what makes me so special is that I don't have the right temperament to handle it. I just get so, so angry, and then I take it out on people. I was yelling at my dad earlier. My dad is so great, and I just blew up at him."

"Maybe you should - "

"Don't say read a book."

" - take a walk."

"A walk?" She scoffed. "Yeah, that'll help."

"It's a nice day for it," said Oz. He stood up and held out his hand to her. "Come on, I'll take you to the park."

"I'm not a dog."

"You'll feel better."

Grudgingly, Jessica took his hand and rose to her feet.

"When are you going to tell me about your dad?" she asked.

"What about my dad?"

"Yesterday you were being all mysterious about him. Why did he have magic manacles in the basement, anyway?"

"Well," said Oz, "my father was not the nicest of men."

"Tell me!"

"Not now, my sweet, I'm calming you down."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Monday passed in a haze of anxiety, hostility and sexual frustration. Roland wasn't even allowed into Grace's house on Monday night; her daughter Natalie was there for the first Monday in a long time, as Stephanie - in whose home she would otherwise have been - could go into labour at any moment, and Grace's overprotective older brother Luke was babysitting. Apparently he didn't trust men with his sister ever since Spence had let her down so badly. Roland, meanwhile, found himself confronted with the usual feelings of lust, but now they were simultaneous with uncertainty about his future with her. After he had kissed her goodnight, he went home feeling positively caddish.

Eduardo clearly had things on his mind, and it was at the firehouse on Tuesday afternoon that Kylie finally decided to approach him about it. After all, if there really was a demon on its way to stamp out human weakness, it would be better for everyone if they were communicating well with their loved ones.

Catching him on his own in the kitchen, she wrapped her arms around him in a don't-get-mad kind of way and asked, "Are you still getting worked up about that doll?"

"I'm still thinking about it, yes," said Eduardo.

"You don't have to worry about it anymore," said Kylie. "Oz said it was about Jessica."

"Well I'd rather it wasn't," said Eduardo. He caught Kylie's look of surprise, and before she could ask him to elaborate he went on, "If it was about Wanda's beef with me - even if she wanted to do something to Conchita and Rose - it wouldn't matter now because it's over. But she gave it to Oz, and I'm sure that means he was involved somehow."

"But babe," said Kylie, "why would he? He doesn't have a problem with you."

"But he's interested in Jessica," said Eduardo. "And why would Wanda steal a doll just because of that? Maybe he… I don't know… helped them somehow, in exchange for it."

"I don't know," said Kylie. "Not that I've seen much of what he can do, but I get the impression that he's a very competent magician. If he was helping them, wouldn't all that stuff they did to you have lasted longer?"

"Well, what about the… the foetus?" He struggled with the word, and looked sick as it left his mouth. "That worked as well as anyone could hope for."

"You think Oz conjured a zombie foetus into your apartment?"

"It's not impossible."

"No," said Kylie, "it's not. Well, look, what did you tell me Oz said when you confronted him on Saturday night? 'Is there anything else you want to ask me,' wasn't it? Well, you could ask him about that."

"Whoa, hey, no." Quite suddenly, Garrett was in there with them, and panic was etched on his face. "Do not go aggravating Oz yet, please - I am this close to getting my wife and son and dog back."

"Has Oz kidnapped them?" Eduardo asked flippantly.

"Oh, if only it were that simple. Jo took Max and Knicks to her mom and dad's because she can't stand being around Stephie anymore."

"Oh yeah," said Kylie, "she said she was going to do that."

"So presumably she'll bring them back if Stephie moves out," Garrett went on, "and once Steph's working, Oz has said she can rent his spare room. And she is, as of next week. Working, I mean. I finally found her a job."

"Good one," said Kylie. "Where?"

"The gym. All she has to do is prove she can put together a salad and give the right change, and the job's hers."

"Can she put together a salad and give the right change?" asked Kylie.

"Ah, well," said Garrett, "I'm not sure. Eddie, how's Beth with salad?"

"Genius," said Eduardo.

"I don't suppose Stephie and I could borrow her, could we? I've asked my mother-in-law, but she can't do anything in the kitchen that doesn't involve either meat or chocolate, and I daren't ask my mom because… well, you know what mothers are like about women in your house."

"Not really," said Kylie. "Can't you think of any men who can cook?"

"Well… I guess Roland's okay. But Beth's better."

"Yeah, right, Beth's better than all of us. Wait there - I'll call and ask her."

"Thanks, Ky - you're an angel," said Garrett, beaming after Kylie's retreating form. Then he looked at Eduardo and said, "You okay, Eddie? You look like you're gonna be sick."

"I'm not," said Eduardo.

"Not what? Okay, or gonna be sick?"

"There's something I'm wondering if I should tell Peter."

"What, about Jess?"

"Maybe."

"You should," said Garrett. "If one of your - "

"I've heard all that from him," said Eduardo. "And I get it - I wouldn't want anyone keeping secrets about my daughter - but it's… I mean, I don't know if it's really about her, but it is about that stuff with Wanda and Celine, and it's… it's sensitive. You know more than Peter does, but you don't know about the, um… thing."

"What, there's something you didn't tell me?"

"A couple of things."

"What are they?"

"None of your business," said Eduardo. "I don't know. I want to find out more, but if you're not gonna let me ask Oz about it…"

"Eduardo, please," Garrett said pathetically. "Imagine Ky, Chita, Rose and Pagan all gone, and the only way you could get them back would be not pissing off Oz."

"Would it really make a difference to Stephie if I pissed him off?"

"It might."

In a few minutes Kylie returned and said, "Beth says she can impart a few of the secrets of being a domestic goddess and daughter-in-law supreme on Thursday. And Janine told me to tell you we've had a call from a guy who's run away from a demon and is now extremely ill."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Jessica was at school, and the bell had just gone for afternoon classes. She wasn't sorry. Some of her male friends were still pestering her for information gained at the slumber party, all the more persistent after she refused to tell them anything the day before - not so much out of respect for the girls' privacy as a determination not to sink to the level of a load of gossiping morons. She was hoisting her book bag onto her shoulder, ready to go back into school, when her cell phone rang. To her surprise the caller display said it was Cameron, Jessica's ex-boyfriend, who was calling.

"Hey," he said, when she answered. "Turn around."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it," said Cameron. "Please."

Jessica turned round, and saw on the road outside Cameron Doherty, straddling his motorcycle with windswept hair and his helmet tucked under one arm. With his free hand, he was waving at her. It was incredibly tacky, but Jessica found that she didn't care about that. She felt that she had never been so pleased to see anyone in her life. She put away her cell phone, walked towards him and hopped the fence.

"Can we get out of here?" she said, helping herself to the spare helmet.

"Yeah? Since when do you cut classes?"

"Since now."

"I think Charlene's seen you."

"Oh, fuck Charlene," said Jessica, throwing her leg over the motorcycle and grabbing onto Cameron's waist. "Just get me the hell out of here before a teacher sees us."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Roland," said Kylie, "do you have Celine's cell phone number?"

From his expression, it was clear that Roland thought this an odd time to ask. Garrett and Eduardo were making their way to the apartment block where their sick man lived, and Roland was doing his best to follow them.

"Yes," he said. "Why?"

"Let me have it - I need to call her now."

"Right now? Are you quite sure about that?"

"Yes!"

"All right," said Roland, and he went to retrieve his phone where the number was stored from the Ecto-1. "Why?"

"Never you mind," said Kylie.

She had a feeling that she'd blurted something out about the foetus when Roland found her about to charge into Oz's house, looking for Eduardo, who had been kidnapped by Celine and Wanda. She'd had to explain what was going on very quickly, and wasn't sure quite what she had said, but even if she did mention a foetus it had probably got lost among everything else that was falling out of her mouth. Roland had not since asked about it, anyway, which meant that he didn't know the full story.

Celine sounded pleased to be getting a call from Roland's cell phone, but her voice darkened considerably when she learnt the true identity of her caller.

"What do you want?" she said.

"I need to ask you a question," said Kylie.

"What makes you think I'll answer it?"

"Celine, come on, you don't have to be like this. It's not my fault your psycho girlfriend had a crush on me."

"Bess got dumped for you as well. I don't see what's so irresistible about you."

"Celine, please, I don't want to get into an argument - I'm working."

"You called me!"

"I know, I know," Kylie said wearily. "I just need to ask you something real quick. You remember the thing with the foetus?"

"What, that have-a-zombie-torment-your-enemy thing we did?" said Celine. "Yeah, I remember. That was nasty, doing the prep for that one. Look, I know that was a shitty thing to do, but it was such a cool idea - I just really wanted to know if it would work. I didn't think it would, honestly, because me and Wanda are a bit crap really."

"So how did you make it work?" asked Kylie. "Did anyone help you?"

"Like who?"

"Like anyone."

"You mean Oz," Celine said perceptively. "I've already had Roland calling and asking me about him. Oz didn't help us with any of our spells, Kylie."

"Right," said Kylie. "Okay. Thanks."

She hung up and made her way into the apartment block, where she was met by Eduardo just outside their new client's door.

"Oh, hey, there you are," he said. "Roland sent me to fetch you - we need your opinion."

"I was calling Celine," said Kylie. "I asked her, and she said not."

"Oh! But… we can't trust what Celine says, can we?"

"Well, why would she bother lying? I mean yeah, she's a bitter evil bitch, but why should she care if we manage to break up Jessica and Oz?"

"Is that what this is about?"

"Well it's not about you anymore - you're safe. She's not."

"Yeah," said Eduardo, "right, okay. Look… we need you to come and take a look at this guy because it's not like anything we've ever dealt with before. He's gotten worse since his wife called us. He's coughing up blood, like, constantly - and she's had to tell us everything he told her because he can't talk to us."

"That doesn't sound good," said Kylie. She walked into the apartment, to the sound of the man whose name she knew to be Abel Green retching violently, and approached his anxious looking young wife. "Hi, Mrs. Green - my name's Kylie Griffin. Can you tell me what happened to your husband?"

Mrs. Green scowled at her. "I've already told this guy and those two in there with Abel. Where were you?"

"I was… busy with another case," Kylie said hastily. "Please tell me, or I won't be able to help him."

Mrs. Green took a deep breath and said, with forced patience, "He was going for a run in the park when a big monster jumped out of the lake and dragged him off somewhere. This was six days ago. He was forced to work as a slave - he said it made him pick up trash at the bottom of the lake, he couldn't explain how he was able to breathe while he was doing it - and then last night he managed to escape. He was fine when he got home, but by this morning he was really sick, and now he's worse. You've got to help him!"

"Right," Kylie said slowly, and a little hoarsely. Then she cleared her throat and said, "I'll just go and take a look at your husband, Mrs. Green, and then we'll see what we can do about trapping this monster."

Mrs. Green watched her walk into the bathroom, and then looked anxiously at Eduardo, who gave her a watery smile. Understandably, the woman was hopeful of her husband recovering, but he could tell from Kylie's voice that something was very wrong.

She didn't spend long in the bathroom with the afflicted man. She emerged in less than a minute, with Roland and Garrett, and once they had all the readings and such they wanted they made their way back down to the Ecto-1.

It wasn't until they were all seated in the car that Kylie said shakily, "Oh God!"

"What's up?" asked Garrett.

"He's going to die!"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

They went to the street where Cameron and Jessica both lived. Jessica insisted that they go to his place, and wouldn't take off her motorcycle helmet until they were inside.

"I guess he'd probably recognise my clothes and general shape anyway," she said.

"Who?" asked Cameron.

"My dad."

"Is he home?"

"Yep." She put the helmet down on the nearest piece of furniture (some kind of side table), shook out her hair and said, "So how was Omaha?"

"It wasn't the best," said Cameron. "But I learnt how to, like, control my abilities and stuff. She's a really good teacher, my sister."

The sister, whose name Jessica did not know, was actually a half-sister on his father's side, their father being an incubus (currently in the containment unit at the firehouse).

"She can't have been that good," said Jessica. "You've been gone for like six months."

"Yeah, well, honing your superpowers takes a long time."

"So what's she like, anyway, this sister of yours? You never even told me her name."

"Her name's Summer," said Cameron. "She's… kind of intense and serious. Not very summery, really. I didn't have a lot of fun while I was with her."

Jessica grinned at him. "Not like here, then."

"Not at all."

"So did she teach you how to seduce a girl without killing her?"

"In theory," said Cameron. "I haven't tried it yet, though."

"Maybe you should."

She leaned back against the front door, making sure to look seductive, and Cameron's beautiful chocolaty eyes narrowed predatorily on her face.

"Yeah," he said, walking slowly towards her. "Maybe I should."

When he kissed her, Jessica learnt for the first time what a kiss really should be. She'd kissed three guys in her life, but none of them had been able to give a very good example. Her first couple of times had been with a vampire; she was very young and unsure, and he was cold and dead. Then there had been Cameron, and that was always nice, but they were inhibited by the knowledge that his incubus genes made such physical contact dangerous. Then, of course, there was Oz. Jessica had assumed that an eighteen-year-old totally human guy would know how to kiss a girl, but now that she was being kissed by the new and improved Cameron, she realised just how much Oz had no idea.

"Wow, Jess," he said, coming up for air. "Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

"Um, nowhere, I'm making it up."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So there hasn't been anyone else, then?"

"Well," said Jessica, instinctively tilting her head to one side as he started to kiss her neck. Wow, that was good. "Maybe."

"Who is it? I'll fight him with my awesome cambion powers."

Jessica laughed. That was something else she didn't do with Oz. Actually, now that she thought about it, she wondered why she was seeing him in the first place.

"Whoa, oh my God, what are you doing?" said Cameron, pulling his head back in alarm.

"Seeing how far we can go before you start draining my life energy."

"Jess, come on, you're only fourt- haaah! Sorry - fifteen. Which is no better."

"What, not even a little?"

"Jess, really, you're too ya-aaah…"

She wanted to throw her head back and laugh. This was fantastic! How could Oz not want to do this stuff with her?

"You do realise you owe me a Christmas and birthday present?" she said.

Cameron breathed very deeply in, and then out, and said with some difficulty, "Dare I ask how you want me to repay that debt?"

"Well, you could give me a few more of those great noises you're making."

"Jess, you're…"

She stopped what she was doing, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What?"

"You're making it very ha-aa - um - very difficult for me to say no."

Good, she thought, and started kissing him again.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"I could be wrong," said Kylie, as Roland was driving the team to Central Park, "but it sounds like a bunyip. If it is a bunyip, then it's our harbinger from the south. They come from Australia - I've never heard of one being all the way up here."

"Does it show up human evil like the others?" Roland asked interestedly.

"Yes. They hate us because of what we've done to the natural world. That's why it's in the lake - they live in bodies of water that have been tainted by humans."

"It sounds like one of those people who like complaining," said Garrett. "Like, they'll sit down and watch a whole horror movie just so they can complain about how violent it is."

"Sort of like Stephie," Eduardo said flippantly.

"Anyway," Kylie said pointedly, "this is not good. It means that the main event is what's coming next, but even more urgent than that, it means that Abel Green is going to die. That's why I'm so sure it's a bunyip. They enslave humans, and anybody who escapes from the bunyip gets horribly ill and dies slowly and painfully."

"Ooh, yeah, that sounds like Green," Garrett said, wincing.

"What if we trap the demon?" Roland asked anxiously. "Does he still die?"

"Well," said Kylie, "I'd love to say probably not, but I see no reason to assume that."

"What about that water demon thingy we had years ago?" said Eduardo. "That sucked out people's souls and all their body fluids, but as soon as we trapped it they - "

"Yes, well, that was just silly," Kylie said waspishly. "And I sincerely doubt we'll get that lucky again."

"But," said Roland, "if we trap the demon before he - "

"The process has already started, Roland."

"There must be something we can do!"

"I doubt it," said Kylie. "But I'll radio Egon and ask him."

She reached for the two-way radio, quickly got hold of Egon and put the question to him.

"Oh - ah… hum, yes, well…"

"I take it that's a no," said Kylie.

"I'm thinking about it," said Egon. "It's never been proven that there's nothing to be done after a person escapes from a bunyip - I don't think anybody's ever tried to discover a cure."

"But Egon, you can't discover one - not in the next few hours!"

"I'll have to go and take a look at him, I suppose. I have to try and do something for him, but I don't think…"

"Egon." Roland snatched the radio from Kylie. "That's no attitude to start off with."

"I'll let you know what happens," said Egon, sounding far from hopeful.

Roland replaced the radio, took a deep breath and said, "All right, we're almost there. So the plan is that we lure the demon out of the lake by, by standing next to it - are you sure that'll work, Kylie?"

"The bunyip comes out and kidnaps you if you're standing dangerously close to the water - sort of like a crocodile," said Kylie. "There's no reason for it not to want one of us."

"And then," said Roland, "we trap it."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Oh, listen," said Kylie, "we won't be in any danger of getting this horrible disease and dying slowly and painfully. You have to escape from the bunyip, but once we've trapped it, everybody will be free to go."

"Well," said Garrett, "trapping it is sort of like escaping from it, isn't it?"

"It won't even have time to take us," said Kylie. "We'll trap it as soon as it sets foot out of the water. I'll be the bait, all right?"

"No, let me," said Eduardo.

Kylie looked at him. "Why should I let you?"

"Because I don't want you taking that risk."

"I don't want you taking that risk."

"You don't think there is a risk!"

"So what, I'm not supposed to care?"

"Not as much as I do, no, because you're sure I'll be okay."

"Oh, stop bickering - I'll do it," said Roland.

"Too bad I didn't bring Stephie for this," Garrett said quietly.

In the end, Eduardo's argument won. Kylie was ready to go and stand dangerously close to the lake, but Eduardo was panicking about her safety rather severely, so she allowed him to take her place because she wasn't as afraid of what would happen. They then had to wait ten minutes for the bunyip to appear. Eduardo stood teetering on the edge of the lake, surrounded by three armed and ready Ghostbusters, and they got a lot of strange looks from passers-by. At one point Garrett's mother-in-law even showed up with Knicks and her own dog, McEnroe.

"Sarah!" called Garrett, beckoning her over. "I don't suppose Jo's expressed any desire to come home?"

"Not really," Sarah said apologetically. "This morning she was saying how great it is not to have to put up with Stephie anymore."

"What about Max?"

"Max misses you."

Garrett nodded. "Good."

At that point, the bunyip rose up out of the water - much like a crocodile snapping at a wildebeest, actually, as Kylie had said. The difference was that it was about twenty times the size of a middle-sized crocodile, and looked like the lovechild of some kind of fish and a hippopotamus. Both the dogs started barking frantically and Sarah jumped in alarm, as no one had bothered telling her why they were there, and she hadn't asked.

After the goblins, the troll and the genie, the Ghostbusters didn't anticipate any problems trapping this thing, and they didn't encounter any. Garrett, being distracted with Sarah, was a little bit behind the others - but Eduardo got it square in the mouth the moment he saw it, and Roland and Kylie were quick too. Within moments, it was trapped.

Kylie went over to Eduardo and asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Now I guess you're gonna tell me I might die a slow painful death after all."

"Well," she said jovially, "you might."

"Did it look like a bunyip?" asked Eduardo.

"Yeah, it did."

"I wonder how Egon's getting on with that guy."

There was no answer to that. The four Ghostbusters made their way back to the Ecto-1, whilst Sarah continued on her walk with the dogs. Then, just as they were about to leave, Garrett spotted someone else he knew.

"Oh look, there's Spence," he said, and started wheeling his way towards him.

Spence was running along the concrete pathway, looking very out of breath, and he might not have spotted his friend if Garrett hadn't called out loudly, "SPENCE!"

Spence skidded to a halt and then bent over double, holding his knees and panting as he sweated profusely from every pore on his body. Finally he was just about able to say a breathless, "Hey."

"How long have you been running?" asked Garrett.

"I don't know. About twenty years."

"Well I hope you're planning on going home soon. The baby was due… about Saturday, wasn't it?"

"Sunday," said Spence.

"You have to get back to her."

Spence didn't say anything.

"Spence, this is getting silly. I don't know anyone who would sympathise with you. A beautiful woman who loves you is about to have your baby, and you're running away!"

"I know," panted Spence. "I… I know."

"Spence, please, it's bad enough that my marriage is going through a rough patch because I helped out a friend. I don't want to see you and Stephanie breaking up because you were an idiot."

"GARRETT!" Roland called.

"You're wanted," said Spence.

"Yeah," said Garrett, turning his chair around. "So are you."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Dad'll be on the phone to an out of work actor or someone," said Jessica, hovering by Cameron's front door. "Why would he be looking out the window?"

"So go," said Cameron.

"What time is it?"

"Um… three twenty-three."

"Yeah, okay - that's what time I normally get in from school. I'll see you."

"Hey," said Cameron, grabbing her hand as she closed it over the doorknob. "Thanks for… that."

"No problem," said Jessica.

He kissed her again - playfully this time, and they laughed stupidly for a few seconds. Then she left, just in time to run into Charlene.

"Have you been with him all afternoon?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Jessica, making her way across the street to her own house.

"What have you been doing?"

"That's none of your business."

As she said this, Jessica was certain that she had made Charlene think she'd just lost her virginity, but she didn't retract the answer. So what if Charlene thought that? It was none of her business.

"I told Mr. Miles you went home sick."

"Oh," said Jessica. "Thanks."

"But I'm not going to cover for you again, Jessica - you have got to stop this."

"Have I?" She came to a stop outside her own front door, and rounded angrily on Charlene. "I didn't ask you to cover for me!"

"Well, what would have happened if I didn't?"

"I would have gotten a lecture from my mom and detention from Mr. Miles. I can think of worse things. Look, this has got nothing to do with you. I'll do it again if I want to, and you don't have to be involved!"

"You'll change your mind about that," Charlene said acidly. "I know exactly what'll happen. You'll get pregnant, and then you'll make me buy your pregnancy test for you because you'll be too embarrassed to do it yourself!"

Of course, just as she said this, the front door opened and Peter was standing there. Jessica raised her eyes to heaven. Why wouldn't he open the door at that moment?

"What's going on?" he asked.

Charlene looked awkwardly down at her feet. Clearly she didn't want to tell tales - she had to be admired for that.

"I cut a couple of classes this afternoon to catch up with Cameron," said Jessica.

"Really?" Peter looked across the street. "Cameron's back?"

"Yes."

"What's this about a pregnancy test? Did you have sex with him?"

She did it again: "That's none of your business."

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Dad." She caught his wrist as he walked past her. "I didn't."

Peter looked at her, clearly unsure whether or not to believe her. "Really?"

"Really."

He regarded her for a few more moments, and then suddenly changed his tune altogether. "Maybe you should get back with him."

"Yeah?" said Jessica. "Why? You think I have more to fear from Oz than from him?" That, after what she'd tried to do and managed to do with both of them, was laughable.

"He's younger."

"He's seventeen now."

"Mmm, yeah," said Peter. "It's not eighteen, though, is it? Well, it's up to you, obviously. Charlene, do you want to come in?"

"Weren't you going out?" asked Charlene, following Peter into his house.

"No," he said. "I heard you to talking, so I came out to tell you about what happened today. Egon just called me - a guy died."

"What guy?" Jessica asked disinterestedly.

"A client."

"Clients die all the time."

"Not if we can help it. This one's kind of a problem, because he died after the demon was trapped, and his wife showed him to us when he was obviously extremely sick. She's… not very happy with us."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The letter arrived on Thursday morning. Garrett was happy, because he'd just dropped Stephie with Beth Rivera so she could learn how to cobble together a salad for hungry gym-goers, and he'd even arranged to take her to see Oz's spare room at the weekend. Kylie was re-reading the Norse prophecy and wondering how they were going to stop that demon; Roland and Egon were examining some ectoplasm from the bunyip that the former had managed to salvage, and Peter was being pestered by Slimer.

Then Janine came in waving a piece of paper around, and said furiously, "We're being sued!"

Peter, who seemed most affected by the news, tore across the room and snatched the letter from her hand. "Janine, this is addressed personally to Kylie."

"What?" Kylie almost dropped her book. "What do you mean it's addressed to me?"

"She seems to think it's your fault the guy died," said Peter, scanning through the letter.

"It's Mrs. Green, I take it," said Kylie. "Well, I don't care - if this prophecy comes true then we're all gonna die soon anyway."

"It says in her letter she wants to sue the company," said Peter. "It says that we're all held responsible… but mostly you. She says you were negligent and you showed up late and then left. She's mentioned you too, Egon - apparently you should have done more."

"I can't see the case going to court," said Egon. "She knows that demons exist, and so do we, but the courts don't seem to recognise that fact."

"Yeah," said Peter, "there's no way we'll be held accountable for his death."

"Can you hear yourselves?" Roland said suddenly. "Her husband died!"

"I know," said Egon. "And that's a terrible thing, but it really is not our fault."

"I can't figure out what to do about this prophecy," said Kylie. "It keeps talking about a demon, but I've got a feeling it's going to be one of those serious ones we can't trap."

"Kylie, please, someone wants to sue us," Peter said irritably. "Can't we worry about your demon if and when it comes?"

"We should try to stop it before it comes!" bristled Kylie.

"I guess I should show this to Louis," said Peter, frowning down at the letter. "Maybe it'd even be worth showing it to a real attorney. I mean, she doesn't have a leg to stand on, but neither did this actress of mine who wanted to sue a magazine for printing a picture where you could see a part of her ankle she didn't like, and she won."

"Why is no one taking this seriously?" yelled Kylie. "We've had all the four harbingers! The reason she wants to sue us is because one of them killed her husband!"

Garrett's cell phone interrupted the erratic conversation. Hoping that it wasn't Beth calling to say that Stephie had no future in making and serving salads, he looked at the caller display and saw that it was Stephanie McBride calling. At first glance the name made him a little anxious, even though he knew Stephie had no cell phone. It was so confusing, being friends with a Stephie and a Stephanie - he even wondered sometimes if he could persuade Stephie to let him call her Persephonethius.

"Hey, Steph," he said. "What's up?"

"Hi," said Stephanie, and he noticed at once that she sounded like she was in pain. "Is Spence with you?"

"Um… no."

"Oh God! I'm in labour and his cell phone's switched off and I don't know where he is!"

"Oh Steph, Stephanie, don't start crying," Garrett panicked. "Look, I'll… I'll find him for you, okay? Can you call someone else to wait with you 'til he gets there?"

"Everyone's working," said Stephanie. "No one can get here."

"What, not even your mom?"

"She's in meetings all day! I can't reach her!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," said Garrett. "I'll… try and find someone to stay with you while I find Spence. How about that?"

Stephanie sniffed, and said quietly, "Yes please."

"Okay," said Garrett. "Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Right, just hang in there and I'll send someone round." He hung up, and announced to the room at large, "Stephanie just went into labour. Who can I send to hold her hand while I find Spence?"

"Spence isn't there?" asked Roland, looking shocked.

"No, Spence isn't there, she lost him."

"Well that's - "

"I know. Look, come on, help out me here. Ky, what about you?"

"Why me?" asked Kylie.

"Well because you're a woman."

"So?"

"So you know what she's going through. So do you, Janine - you could go."

"Garrett, Stephanie doesn't even know them," said Roland. "Look, here's an idea. Why don't you go and support Stephanie, and I'll get Grace and we can find Spence?"

Garrett looked alarmed. "Me?"

"She'll be in labour for hours, Garrett," said Kylie. "The contractions will be mild, she won't have to take anything off, and the baby won't start coming out until long after Spence is there. That, presumably, is why you're not taking her to the hospital yet."

"Oh, yeah, hospital," Garrett said distractedly.

"All right, look," said Kylie. "I'll go with you to Stephanie's place, and then she'll have someone she knows and a woman with her - she'll breeze through it. And Roland can get Grace and they'll look for Spence, like he said. Okay?"

Garrett nodded robotically. "Okay."

"Honestly, what is it about men that makes them turn into idiots when a woman goes into labour?" Kylie got to her feet, just as a huge lightning bolt split the sky outside. Her gaze moved to the window, and she said, "Oh, see - what did I say about that prophecy?"

There was no more lightning, or at least not yet, but the sky was red and there was an ominous wind building up. Roland winced, and said, "That's not going to be easy to drive through."

To be continued…