Wow my head hurts so bad. It legitimately feels as though a cow has sat on it. Oh god and I stink like vomit, fags and booze to add to that. Well at least I'm. Where the fuck am I? Oh holy crap muffins where the hell am I?
"Morning sunshine!"
"OH MY LORD" I think I've just broken my nose face-planting the floor. "What the... how...when...huh?"
"Haha, confused? Well you were slightly pissed last night and I thought it best to keep you here. Don't worry you only threw up twice." He had a smile of his face that made me feel at home. Relaxed and calm. Well I suppose that's Liam for you. But I felt exposed and insecure. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this, especially in the mood I'm now in after yesterday.
"I have my reasons."
"I know, you were telling us whilst downing a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's"
"Us? Who else was I making a toad of myself in front of?"
" Well, we were all here, as well as Danni and Eleanor. The girls helped you get to sleep." Great. Basically all of the family have seen me probably pouring my heart out with wonderful facts about myself or doing an eyebrow raising dance in the nude. I mean, I could have said some serious stuff...wait, I haven't said anything about my creepy obsession over Harry have I?
"So, where is everyone? Do you want me to go before they see me?"
"Oh no they'll all be in the kitchen in a few minutes waiting for you." Not the reply I was looking for. I was hoping to just return to my hole that I would love to proudly bury myself in. I throw my face back into the pillow placed on the side of the sofa and sluggishly throw my backside onto the floor. I catch a glimpse past my boobs and see that I'm wearing nothing but a baggy t-shirt and my underwear. I see the faint print of 'Hipsta Please' and shiver slightly. As if they put me in Harry's t-shirt. Now I really feel exposed.
"Good morning! How did you sleep last night?"
"Ermmm... not bad... I guess" Okay I don't know if I'm staring but Louis is standing in the kitchen in nothing but his boxers making pancakes; Surely I'm in some weird fan fiction.
"Sorry about the partial nudity babe. I didn't know any of the girls were up yet. They normally sleep later."
"So this view is mainly for the boys then?"
"Yeah, wait...no"
"Don't deny it. Every guy has a secret part of them that screams feminine qualities. You mainly share that within closed doors but unfortunately everyone else seems to see that you may have just accidentally slipped a foot out the closet door and into the view of millions of hormonal teenagers that assume everyone that they find attractive is gay." Okay that didn't sound offensive or homophobic at all. Louis started laughing as he shyly looked at the last burning pancake in the pan.
"You know what. I think really you described all of us."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Well we used to act camp because it made people laugh but now everything we do seems to somehow turn out dirty or gay."
"Well at least I'm not throwing carrots at you" I saw Louis twitch a little. "Don't worry (!) I'm sure you are showing equality and fairness to all the other food products."
"We haven't had a carrot in this house for 6 months now. It hurts too much to see them"
"Nahh you guys are good to your fans. Even the crazy psychopathic ones like me." Giving a cheeky wink, I slid off out of the kitchen to find Zayn sitting cross-legged on one of the dining room chairs; happily eating a bowl of Cheerios. He glanced up too see who was standing in front of him but did a double take making the bowl nearly fall out of his hand.
"Oh sorry, I thought you heard me come in."
"No no it's alright. Yeah. Ermm. Yeah. Right. Ermmm. Yeah." He was looking farther south of my face and wondered what could be distracting him so much. Oh for fuck's sake I forgot that I was half naked with my distinctly horrifying knees on display and my legs bare and vulnerable.
" Oh shit yeah sorry I forgot. I was actually wondering where my jeans were?"
"I...I think they..." What is wrong with this boy? I might as well be completely naked and waving my tits about seeing as he's acting like a lost virgin in a brothel.
"Should I sit down to make this a little easier?" I said jogging to the seat opposite him, hiding the bottom half of my body as to continue the conversation.
"Well I think that your clothes were put in to be washed."
"What." You mean I have to stand around here flashing myself. Well this has turned out to be a productive day hasn't it?
"Well you spilt a whole bottle of vodka down you."
"I don't think I should ask but how did I manage that?"
"Well you kinda were dancing..." Shit. "...and then you fell over..." Balls. "...and then the bottle broke on the table next to you and poured over your head." Oh so that's what was smelling so bad.
"I'm sure you're the one who's supposed to be breaking things eh?" He looked blankly at me.
"huh?"
"No not funny? Alright then moving on" I got up from the table and pulled down the shirt over my bum as much as I could whilst skidding out of the room back into the kitchen.
Holy sweet digestive biscuits I've walked into an orgy. Liam and Niall had both joined Louis in making breakfast. It seemed they had also joined him by walking round topless.