Cuddy opened her eyes and was disorientated for a few seconds. She took in her surroundings. She was in a hospital bed in a private room at her own hospital. She had an IV in her right arm, a white ID bracelet around her wrist, and a stiff hospital gown covered her body below the blankets.
And she was alone.
House had saved her life; she would have died from internal bleeding after her stitches ripped had he not have been there and reacted so quickly. The irony would have made her smile were she not in so much pain. He had been there for her. But now he was gone.
Cuddy's disappointment in House brought tears to her eyes. She was still delicate from both the pain of the surgery and the memory of her last waking hours. She took deep breaths to calm herself when she noticed a nurse entering the room.
"How are you feeling?" The RN asked her.
Cuddy managed a weak smile: "I'm fine," she reassured the nurse as her vital signs were taken. Once the nurse had finished, she left Cuddy alone in her room. Alone with her thoughts.
House was in his office when his cell phone rang. "House," he answered gruffly.
"Dr House? It's Ashley from the ICU?"
"Yeah?" House was getting annoyed. He had waited and worried throughout Cuddy's emergency surgery, anticipating a phone call confirming that either Cuddy was okay or that his worst fear had come to fruition.
"Dr. Cuddy just woke up. She's okay."
House shut his cell phone, abruptly ending the call. He let out a breath he had not known he was holding. Cuddy was okay. She was going to make it.
The events that occurred from her house to the hospital had been one of the most frightening experiences House had ever been through. She had lost a lot of blood from her kidneys, and her blood was being poisoned by the waste products from the organs.
House recalled the manic moments after Cuddy's stitches had torn. She had lost consciousness just before the ambulance had arrived, which had sent him into a blind panic. When the paramedics arrived, House had barked out orders and even grabbed the intubation tube right out of one paramedic's hand, deeming the young man incompetent to place a tube down Cuddy's delicate airway. Once in the ambulance, House screeched when a paramedic tried to start an IV in Cuddy's left arm ("She's left handed!") and he pushed them out of the way. He had yelled at the workers to give him a bag of A+ blood, which he had hung himself.
"You're a bunch of idiots!" House complained as the crew along with an unconscious Cuddy exited the ambulance in the emergency area of the hospital. He had stood in the observation room during Cuddy's entire surgery, daring the surgeon to make a mistake. Everyone in the operating room was on edge by the deranged look in House's eyes.
Once Cuddy was moved to recovery from the operating room, House retreated to his office to ponder in solitude. He knew he needed to be there when she woke up. It would be the right thing to do; the only thing to do to win her back. Not to mention that he needed to see those blue eyes open up, to know that she was still with him; that she did not die. To see her animated and happy to see him, for his own peace of mind. She would be grateful that he saved her life.
But House just could not bring himself to wait in her hospital room. Yes, she may forgive him temporarily. They would get along and he would bring light back into her eyes with his crude comments. He would dismiss the nurses and other doctors that were attending Cuddy because only Gregory House was worthy of taking care of her. And when she was released to go home, he would be allowed to hold her again. But then Cuddy would inevitably dump him. Again. It could be in a matter of days, it could be years from now. But House had learned that he did not deserve happiness.
House left his office, standing in the hallway, unsure of which direction to go. After staring in the direction of Cuddy's room, he dejectedly turned and walked the opposite way, accepting his defeat and going home.