Chapter 2 Off to a Hellish Pokemon Journey
Jackuss, now irritated, walked towards the route that led out of the town and further into the region, but he was tackled by some crazed researcher guy.
"DON'T COME THROUGH HERE!" The crazed researcher guy screamed.
"Why?" Jackuss asked.
"Because I'm researching A VERY rare pokemon's tracks. So get the fuck away." The crazed researcher said.
"Uh... I need to get through here." Jackuss said.
Just then the crazed researcher pulled out a gun and aimed at Jackuss. Jackuss ran away towards the northern exit to the town which was Route 103.
He walked through the first two groups of bushes and saw the girl that was in the neighbor's house.
"Hi." Jackuss said.
"Let's see... the POKeMON found on ROUTE 103 include..." May said, ignoring Jackuss.
"I said hi..." Jackuss said.
"Oh, you're that guy who "visited" our house after midnight." May said. "Wait... what's in that pokeball?" May asked, noticing it in Jackuss backpack.
"Did you just unzip my backpack and look inside?" Jackuss asked, wondering how she knew about the pokeball in it.
"No I didn't." May said. "Say would you like a completely random pokemon battle?" May asked.
"Well no I really didn't..." Jackuss said.
"I SAID WE'RE GONNA BATTLE BITCH!" May yelled.
"Okayyy..." Jackuss said. He threw out his pokeball that contained FireBird.
May threw her pokeball out which contained "Teh most liekable pokehmon".
A mudkip.
"Now I'm gonna warn you... DON'T look into it's eyes." May said.
"Why what's wrong it's... holy fuck." Jackuss said, looking into the mudkip's eyes even though May had just warned him. He collapsed to whatever he saw in the mudkip's eyes, and the mudkip and Gujin battled it out when May tried to revive Jackuss.
FireBird the Torchic vs. May's Mudkip
FireBird scratched the mudkip, which covered it's face in claw marks, the mudkip tried to tackle FireBird but he didn't even come any where near tackling FireBird.
FireBird scratched the mudkip again, and this time the mudkip growled at FireBird, which somewhat scared him.
FireBird for the third time due to not knowing any better moves scratched the mudkip, and this time the mudkip didn't miss it's tackle. The mudkip was down to half health.
The battle continued this way to the very end when FireBird left the mudkip crying in the corner due to it's defeat. He didn't liek mudkipz.
Jackuss woke up and put the victorious FireBird back in it's pokeball after it leveled up and learned focus energy.
"Eh, you got lucky." May said. Jackuss noticed May's purse dangling from her arm. Jackuss without thinking snatched the purse and ran off, with her 300 poke dollars.
Jackuss walked back towards the exit of the OldFail town, and he was approached by May.
"I'm gonna tell everyone that you stole my money!" May yelled. May took off running towards LittleShit.
Jackuss had to catch her before she made it back to LittleShit.
He ran and caught up with her and smacked her.
"You won't tell ANYONE." Jackuss said.
"Fine, fine." May said.
Jackuss walked back inside of LittleShit and walked into the lab, to see if he could blackmail Professor Birch anymore.
"Here, take this pokedex, leave the beggining town forever, and go catch all of the pokemon." Professor Birch said. "Oh here, have some balls for once." Professor Birch said, throwing a bag of pokeballs at Jackuss.
"What? Don't you know how wrong that sound just now?" Jackuss asked.
"I SAID GO CATCH ALL OF THE FUCKING POKEMON! NOW FUCKING GO BEFORE THAT RABID RACCOON GETS YOUR ASS!" Professor Birch yelled.
Jackuss walked out of the pokelab shrugging.
"So hey... what are you doing tonight?" Professor Birch asked May.
"Uh... I'm your daughter." May said.
"That doesn't mean anything does it?" Prof. Birch said.
"Um... yeah, it does." May said.
"Come on! Our family has always been inbreeding!" Prof. Birch said.
"Wait what?" May asked.
"Yeah, I'm your mother's brother and uncle..." Prof. Birch said.
"... I don't think I even want to work that one out." May said.
"I'm your..."
"SHUT UP. I don't want to hear what you're about to explain to me." May said.
Outside...
Jackuss walked out of the town ignoring his mom who was standing out there yelling at him in front of their house.
"HEY! Failure of a son! You forgot your damn shoes you fucking idiot!" She yelled, she had Jackuss' shoes tied to each other.
She chucked them at him, and they hit Jackuss in the head.
Jackuss realized something after rubbing his head. He had been walking around this whole time barefoot.
So that's why it hurt when I ran. Jackuss thought.
Jackuss put his shoes on but noticed that there was something taped to his left shoe.
"The hell? Running shoe manual..." Jackuss said.
The manual:
"Press the B Button while wearing these RUNNING SHOES to run extra-fast! Slip on these RUNNING SHOES and race in the great outdoors!"
"What the fuck... press B to run? Does anything make sense in this region?" Jackuss said.
Jackuss ran out of the town, and through the first patch of grass and got attacked by a wild dog in the second patch of grass.
Rabid Dog (poochyena) vs FireBird
FireBird scratched the poochyhena and the rabid dog tackled FireBird.
FireBird scratched the rabid dog again, and it ran away as it was hurt too bad. (fainted)
FireBird was put back in the pokeball, and Jackuss kept walking through the third patch of grass until he was attacked by a random worm (wurmple).
Jackuss looked at the small wurmple and laughed, and stomped on it, and kept walking through the grass to OldFail.
He entered OldFail, and he was immediately punched by the guy, who's jigglypuff he had kicked.
The guy let the bandaged jigglypuff down and it began to kick Jackuss in the face.
Jackuss punched the jigglypuff, and then got up to headbutt the man.
Both were now knocked out. Jackuss laughed and walked into the pokecenter to get Gujin healed, as he had gotten pretty fucked up from the few last battles with rabid dogs.
The PokeCenter...
"Doctor! We're losing him!" The nurse cried.
"Give me the defibrillator!" The doctor yelled, beside the bloody mudkip.
"Wait... doctor NO!" The nurse yelled, as the doctor grabbed the defrillibrator.
"Clear!" The doctor was halfway to using the defibrillator on the mudkip.
"NOOOOO! He's a mudkip! He's a water pokemon!" The nurse cried.
The doctor had used the defibrillator on the mudkip, and it began to pulse and shake with electricity.
The flat lining noise was heard throughout the pokecenter.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't you die on me!" The doctor screamed, he pounded on the mudkip's chest severly. "WHY! WHY? Why..." The doctor cried, kneeling.
"Uh... because you used a defibrillator on a water pokemon?" The nurse asked.
"Uhm... can I have my Torchic "FireBird" healed please?" Jackuss asked nervously after witnessing the scene.
FireBird then randomly popped out of his pokeball on his own and began to shake his head furiously.
"Well... would you rather die because of you're injuries, or would you rather take a 50/50 chance of either being healed or being killed like that mudkip over there?" Jackuss asked, pointing to the dead mudkip.
FireBird had a tear running down his face. He got back in the pokeball, and Jackuss handed him to the nurse.
"I'll put your Torchic in the healing machine and..." Jackuss interrupted the nurse.
"Uhm... if you have a healing machine then... why didn't you just put the mudkip in the healing machine?" Jackuss asked.
The nurse pointed up to the sign above the counter.
The sign read "We don't liek mudkipz, so they don't get as good treatment as the other pokemon."
"...isn't that racist?" Jackuss asked.
"Have you ever looked at a mudkip? All they do is... smile... but what's in their eyes is true evil..." The nurse said. She put FireBird's pokeball into the healing machine and it glowed for a minute.
"Here you go." The nurse said. She handed Jackuss FireBird's pokeball to him.
"Thank you." Jackuss said, he began to walk away.
"Have a nice fucking day, asshole." The nurse said.
Jackuss wheeled around.
"What?" Jackuss said.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I healed your pokemon, and you gave me nothing, I guess this is just a free clinic huh?" The nurse said rudely.
"Uh... pokecenters ARE free clinics for pokemon." Jackuss said. "Also... all you did was walk over to a machine and put my pokemon in it. In fact... you don't serve any purpose you racist bitch." Jackuss said.
"Fuck y..." The nurse was interrupted by a doctor.
"He's got a point. If we fire you, we get more money, so pack your shit and leave you bitch." The doctor said.
"Damn it, kid... now I have to go get hired at another pokecenter..." The nurse said.
"Oh hell no. I'm telling every pokecenter that gem that this kid gave to us. All bitchy nurses at the pokecenters are being fired, and the machines are going to be made where you can heal your own pokemon, by yourself." The doctor said.
"...I'll get you for this, kid. Mark my fucking words." The nurse said.
That doesn't sound good. Jackuss thought.
He walked out of the PokeCenter.
Jackuss walked up to the center of OldFail where he found the crazed researcher guy from earlier, he was now in the middle of the town crying.
"Uh... I'd ask what was wrong but I think you still have that gun." Jackuss said.
"I finished sketching those tracks of that very rare pokemon..." The researcher cried.
"What pokemon was it from?" Jackuss asked.
"It was from me." The researcher cried.
"Me? There's actually a pokemon called Me?" Jackuss asked.
"...no I mean me." The researcher said.
"Yeah I know. The pokemon called Me, which I've never heard of before..." Jackuss said.
"GOD DAMN IT! Don't you have any sense! It was my tracks! I was sketching the bottom of my own shoes..." The researcher cried.
"...no I don't have any cents, what do you think I am? A change machine? And you were sketching yourself's tracks? What an idiot..." Jackuss said.
"GOD DA... you know what? Just go the fuck away I'm gonna kill myself." The researcher cried.
Jackuss didn't go away, but he stood there.
"Why are you still here?" The researcher asked.
"... do it! Take your gun and place it to your head and end your miserable life!" Jackuss said.
"Aren't you supposed to talk me out of it?" The researcher asked.
"I would if you would actually do it. But you don't have the backbone to shoot yourself in the fucking face! So yet again, DO IT!" Jackuss yelled.
The researcher stared at Jackuss.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO LOAD THE GUN!" Jackuss said, taking the researcher's pistol and bullets from his pocket.
He loaded the bullets into the pistol.
"There. NOW DO IT." Jackuss said, handing the loaded pistol to the researcher.
"I WILL!" The researcher yelled.
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING WAITING FOR? DO IT NOW!" Jackuss yelled.
Just then a gunshot echoed through OldFail, and Jackuss was now covered in blood.
"...those bastards who wrote that book lied to me. Reverse psychology doesn't work at all!" Jackuss said, staring at the dead researcher who had shot himself.
Jackuss crouched and began to pilfer through the researcher pockets looking for his money.
End of Chapter 2 Off to a Hellish Pokemon Journey
Chapter 2 is up. I would tell some person who is whining about killing himself to do that...
...
What? If they're stupid enough to do it then... why not? Anyways... adios.