I Wish I Could Remember


"The wand chooses the wizard," Ollivander told the gap-toothed little boy in his shop. "Here. Give this one a wave."

The boy did. The wand emitted a low-pitched hum and began to vibrate in his hand.

"Very nice," Ollivander said with a nod. "First try. That's unusual."

"Is it bad?" the boy asked.

"No. Not bad at all. Just unusual." He took the wand back and stowed it in a long box. "I would guess that you are going to be a very powerful wizard, Mr. Yaxley."


It isn't until he's standing in Ollivander's that he realizes he can't recall the day he bought his wand.

It shouldn't bother him so much. He grew up in a wizarding family, after all; trips to Diagon Alley were frequent in his youth. He can hardly be expected to remember each and every time they'd Floo'd into the Leaky Cauldron. He's shuffled through the shops on this street a hundred times, from Madam Malkin's to Gringotts to the Magical Menagerie, and each place holds thousands of memories all blurred into smells and sounds and snapshots.

But he's only stepped into Ollivander's one time before this, and even though it was years ago, even though he was young then, it's a little unsettling that he can't remember the first time he held his wand.

"Mr. Yaxley," says the old man behind the counter. "I was wondering when I'd see you again."

(And he nearly gasps, because Ollivander remembers him, and that's not what he expected, and a part of him thinks that isn't fair.)

"Still using the same wand?" Ollivander continues pleasantly, but there's a flicker of fear in his eyes, because he knows what's coming, he knows why Yaxley's here, he knows there's nothing he can do. . . .

"Yes." Yaxley pulls it out and holds it up for the old man to see. "It's done me well. Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Ollivander says with a nervous chuckle. "The wand chooses the wizard, after all. And you're a powerful wizard, Mr. Yaxley. I always said you would be."

"I remember," he lies. I wish I could remember.

"Mr. Yaxley," Ollivander says, beckoning him closer. "Let's not play games. I know why you're here. You know why you're here."

He laughed. "You don't know why I'm here."

"I do." With trembling hands, he lifts a long, thin box onto the counter. "You're here for a wand."

"Not that one. Not one of your wands. Not the kind that comes in a box."

(Had his own wand come in a box? Had it been on a shelf, balanced between ten thousand other wands? Had it been stowed beneath the counter? Had it flown into his hand the moment he'd walked in?)

"Oh, I know exactly which wand you're after, Mr. Yaxley." He removes the lid and takes out the wand inside. "You don't know which wand. Your master would never have trusted you with such information. But I know the one."

"The Elder Wand," Yaxley snarls, but his heart isn't in it, he can't stop looking around this shop, trying to remember, trying to find any inch of it that's familiar. "My master trusts me. And that wand" - he points to the one in Ollivander's hand - "isn't it."

"No," Ollivander says. "No, I'm afraid this is my wand."

And he brings said wand down in a long, quick arc and sends Yaxley sprawling across the floor.

The Death Eater jumps to his feet and howls, "Stupefy," but the wandmaker blocks it, sends it away like it's nothing, and comes back with a quiet, "Expelliarmus."

And Yaxley feels his wand begin to jump out of his hand but he holds tightly, he doesn't let go - he's a powerful wizard, Ollivander said so himself, even if Yaxley can't remember him saying it - and when he cries, "Imperio!" the old man is too surprised to do anything but succumb.

"You are under my control," Yaxley says in a low voice.

"I am under your control."

"Good. Very good." Yaxley licks his lips. "Now break your wand."

And Ollivander, with trembling hands, obeys.


"You are going to be a very powerful wizard, Mr. Yaxley."

"You really think so?" the boy asked, eyes wide.

"I do. And I haven't been wrong yet." Ollivander smiled and handed over the wand. "You'll have to come back and show me your magic someday."

"I will," the boy promised with a gap-toothed grin. "You won't even know what hit you."


[Wishes of the Dark Side Competition: Inner Circle - Yaxley, expelliarmus, "I wish I could remember..."]

[100 prompts: duel]

[Star Challenge: Shaula - write about a Death Eater]