Chapter 2

The first week or so wasn't that bad. It's not like they hadn't been apart before–different sets of duties had kept them separated for nearly the same length of time on several occasions. It wasn't something they enjoyed, but they'd dealt with it. There had been no other choice—just as they had no choice now. But when it reached the tenth day of John's absence, things seemed to change.

Teyla was lying in her quarters, trying to sleep, when reality sunk in: John was gone, and it would be a very long time before he came back. She couldn't figure out why the comprehension hit her so hard and so suddenly—it was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

It was obvious that she cared for John, that she loved him—she had known that for a long time—but she never prepared for the loss she'd feel. She had never before missed anyone like that. She could feel her heart clenching in her chest out of sheer loneliness.

Teyla couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same.

The thing between them certainly wasn't one-sided, but for all the caring and loving gestures, John had never truly told her how he felt. She had always assumed that it was similar to how she felt, but it was not as if she had told him of her feelings either. Their time together was stolen from the hectic lives they lead, almost too precious to waste on words. Now she was beginning to regret not attempting to speak to him about this… thing, whatever it was.

Teyla pushed herself up off of the bed and, in one fluid movement, swung her legs over the side and stood up. It was late and she was tired, but knew that, despite that, she would not be able to sleep. It would be impossible with the growing ache in her heart and the thoughts that had crept into her mind.

She decided to go work out, to try and take her mind off of what was slowly breaking her resolve.

When she reached the training room, she was pleased to find it empty. She could only hope that a good hard workout would tire her out enough to take her mind off of John, and then she might be able to sleep.

Two hours later, when she was back in her bed and still unable to fall asleep, she realized that she should have known better. Exercising was something that they did together, and all of the drills that she had executed in the gym had only served to fix her mind more firmly on John.

Normally she had no qualms about thinking of him; in fact she usually enjoyed it, but this was different. He wasn't there, she couldn't slip out of her room and walk to his, simply to crawl into bed with him. Thinking of him now wasn't a good thing. Thinking of him now only served to remind her that he wasn't there—that he was gone.

OoOoOoOoO

"Teyla!"

Her head jerked suddenly as she focused on what was going on in front of her. Elizabeth was staring at her from across the table, a mixture of worry and annoyance on her face. Apparently, she had been the one to call for her attention. Teyla couldn't believe that she had nodded off during a briefing again. It had been happening occasionally for just over seven weeks now, ever since John had left.

"I am sorry, Dr. Weir," she said, keeping her voice low as she fixed her gaze upon the table.

"It's alright," Elizabeth said, resuming her normal authoritative voice. "The next thing that we need to discuss is the information that we've recently found in the database."

Teyla raised her head, wondering what information Dr. Weir was referring to.

"As you all know the database itself is huge, but we've managed to create a search engine…" Teyla caught a glimpse out of the corner of her eye of Rodney puffing out his chest in pride, obviously having been the one to create this… search engine. "By creating it, we've managed to access the pieces of information that are most crucial to us right now, without having to filter through everything else."

Teyla found herself nodding her head; it was an ingenious idea.

"Now there are still kinks in the process," Elizabeth said as she looked around the room, briefly resting her gaze on each person there. "But one of our initial finds was an ancient log from the very beginning of their war against the Wraith. Whoever constructed this log unfortunately didn't mention anything about ZPMs, but there are mentions of drones."

"Where are they?" Ronon asked, his deep voice echoing throughout the room.

"Well," Elizabeth said while raising one eyebrow slightly. "We don't exactly know."

"Ok, then why are we here?" Rodney asked impatiently, everyone turning to glare at him. "I'm sorry, it's great that they referenced them, but what are we going to do if we don't know where they are!"

Despite the fact that Teyla often found Rodney's snarky attitude annoying and unnecessary, she had to admit that he had a point.

"I was getting to that Rodney," Elizabeth said, fixing him with a stern look. He had, at the very least, the good grace to look a bit embarrassed. "We may not know exactly where the drones are, but we know where we can find out."

Elizabeth took a deep breath before plunging in to her explanation. "The reference to the drones in the database wasn't particularly long, or very specific. I'm just thankful that Dr. Zelenka noticed it before he moved on to search through other sections of information.

"There's a gate address for a planet and a rather complicated explanation about how it is connected to the drones. To make a long story short, the planet was, or rather still is, an ancient outpost. This outpost is where the ancients first created the drones, and then later manufactured as many as they needed."

"Are you kidding me!" Rodney said, interrupting as he leaned forward, obviously excited. "Do you know how valuable that is?"

"Yes, Rodney, I do," Elizabeth said, exasperated at his constant interruptions. "Now we're guessing that there might be a complete catalogue of all the drones at the outpost. And even if there isn't… well, as Dr. McKay pointed out, the simple existence of the outpost is reason enough to go."

"When do we leave?" Teyla asked. A small, irrational part of her was hoping that it would be after John got back, but that was nearly a week away.

"Well," Elizabeth said. "I was hoping that you could leave tomorrow. I was going to send you today, but some of the defensive systems have been acting up and we need Dr. McKay to take a look at them immediately following this meeting.

"In addition, I have assigned Major Lorne as the fourth member of your team for this one," Dr. Weir continued.

Teyla glanced over to her right. She had been wondering why Major Lorne was sitting in on their briefing. He had been assigned to go on missions with them before and, although he wasn't John, he did his job fine. However, Dr. McKay did not seem too happy about the announcement. He and Major Lorne still had their… differences.

Elizabeth continued on for the next twenty minutes or so, going over the details of what their mission would be. None of it would be too hard, assuming that they could find what they were looking for.

Immediately after Elizabeth concluded the briefing, everyone began to file out of the room except for Teyla, who was stopped by Dr. Weir's request. "Teyla, could I have a minute?" she asked, quietly.

Teyla nodded her head and sat back down at the briefing table.

"Is there something going on Teyla?" she asked as soon as the last person had left the room. Her voice wasn't angry, but neither was there warmth in it.

Immediately Teyla's thoughts jumped to John. She couldn't help but fear that Dr. Weir had found out. Her heart began to beat faster. Elizabeth would ask her to end things. But then she mentally chided herself, there was no way that she knew.

"Teyla?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, hoping that Dr. Weir did not notice. "There is nothing going on," she said quietly.

"Alright…" Elizabeth assented, although Teyla could sense the doubt, the skepticism. "I know that times are hard, Teyla, that things are stressful." Teyla nodded slowly.

"But we must stay focused." There was something ultimate and final about Dr. Weir's last sentiment—something distinct.

Teyla nodded her head again. "I am aware, Dr. Weir," she responded, feeling the need to say something. "I believe it's because I have not been sleeping well lately."

It was the truth—the reason why she was having trouble focusing on some of her daily duties. Since the realization six weeks ago that John was gone, she had hardly slept at all, catching only enough rest to keep her functioning. It wasn't healthy, and she knew that, but the only times that she could fall asleep were when she was dead-tired. She needed to work herself into a state of near exhaustion before she would even contemplate going to bed.

"You should go down and see Carson," Elizabeth suggested, as she leaned her elbows against the table. "He might be able to give you something."

Teyla found herself nodding once again. As much as she did not want to admit it, sleeping pills might help.

"Thank you Dr. Weir," Teyla said, pushing her chair back and standing up. "I will go and see him right now."

OoOoOoOoO

Nearly twelve hours later, after a day filled with work and a visit to the infirmary, Teyla found herself at the door to one of the city's balconies. She pulled her jacket a little tighter around her body before stepping out into the cool fresh air. She was in need of both some serious thinking and an escape.

They had nearly lost Major Lorne this time.

Following their briefing that morning, he had been scheduled to go on a mission with another team. He had gone, but he had almost not returned. Teyla wasn't sure of the specifics, but the team had run in to some natives on the planet they had been visiting. The natives had not been friendly.

While most of the team had escaped with only a few scraps, bruises and the occasional graze from an arrow that nearly made it's target, Major Lorne had not been so lucky. From what Teyla could gather, he had used himself as a distraction. While running through the woods, he had not only been shot at, receiving two arrows in his lower back, but he had also tripped and broken his leg. Needless to say, he would no longer be accompanying them on their mission the next day.

They had done three-man missions before, but with the way things were shaping up out there in the rest of the galaxy, Teyla couldn't help but feel concerned. She would feel much better if John had been with her, but knew it was an impossibility.

Leaning against the edge of the balcony, Teyla lifted her eyes to look up at the stars. They seemed to shine so much brighter on Atlantis than anywhere else she had ever visited. They were like perfect crystals imbedded in an ebony cloth. It was really a marvelous thing to see.

She leaned against the railing, but did not look down. John was out there somewhere, but she had no idea where. She wondered if he was thinking about her too; she knew that he did often, or at least that was what he had told her three or four months ago.

It was dusk, and Teyla was in a jumper, flying back to Atlantis with Carson. He had been kind enough to take her to the mainland—Dr. Weir had needed someone to go and speak with the Athosians. Naturally Teyla had felt it her duty to tell the news to her people and volunteered. The bad news might be easier to hear from one of their own.

None of the Athosians, least of all Halling, had been pleased to hear that the wraith were rallying their rather large numbers for what they could only assume was a full out attack. The deep space scanners had not been able to tell them more, but it was obvious that things were going to get worse and quickly. The wraith may not know exactly where they were, but Dr. McKay's theory was that they were planning to visit every planet they had to until they found the Atlantis expedition. The wraith would not kill everyone for obvious reasons, but they would do unfathomable damage.

It had been grave news to bear.

The only thing that Teyla was grateful for was that she was no longer required to sit in on the meeting of the council. They had invited her, but she had declined, saying that she had things that required attention in the city. In a way, it was true, there were always things that needed to be done, but she had mostly just wanted to try and escape from the bleakness of their situation for a little while.

As Carson piloted the jumper past the perimeter of the city, Teyla noticed a solitary figure standing on one of the balconies. And she knew exactly who it was.

After they landed in the jumper bay, Teyla thanked Carson for taking her.

"Oh, it's not a problem, love," he said earnestly. "Anytime."

"Thank you, Dr. Beckett," she said kindly as she followed him out of the jumper.

When they reached the hallway directly outside the jumper bay, they parted ways, Carson turning left to head to the infirmary and Teyla turning right. She made her way through the corridors, passing a few stray people as she headed in to one of the less occupied areas of the city. It wasn't long before she reached one of the transport rooms, and with a single touch of her finger on the screen she was in the far west section of Atlantis.

She exited the transport room and turned right, heading for the large balcony. She swiped her left hand over the sensor, and the door opened, the smell of the ocean carried in on a cool breeze.

John turned around immediately upon hearing the door open. "Hi," he said, obviously a bit surprised to see her.

"Hello," she responded as she slid up next to him, leaning against the railing and mimicking his position.

"I thought you were on the mainland," he said quietly, tilting his head to look down at her.

"I was," Teyla said. An involuntary sigh escaped from her lips.

"You ok?" John asked, turning his body to face her.

"Yes," she replied, her voice quiet.

He must not have believed her, because the next thing Teyla knew, he was gently pulling her into a hug. His arms wrapped securely around her shoulders, and he held her pressed tightly against him.

Teyla knew that someone might see them and begin to ask questions, but for once she didn't care—instead wrapping her arms around John's torso. She let out another sigh, this time out of contentment.

It wasn't long before they pulled apart, but it had been enough for her to make things seem a bit less desolate. They both went back to leaning on the railing, looking out over the ocean, their shoulders touching.

"How did you know I was here?" John quietly intoned, although he didn't turn to look at her.

His voice wasn't loud enough to startle her, but it jolted her back to the present. "I saw you," she said simply. "When we were flying into the city."

She saw him nod his head, as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. When he didn't say anything, she added, "Did you want to be alone?" She hadn't even considered the fact that he might; she had just barged up there to see him.

Teyla made to push herself away from the railing, but John's words stopped her.

"No," he said, turning to look at her. "I was just thinking."

As he said the last part she caught a glimpse of a mischievous look in his eye. "What were you thinking about?" she questioned.

He chuckled quietly as he turned around so that his back was leaning against the railing. "It's funny you should ask that."

"It is?"

He nodded. "I was thinking about you."

He said it so candidly that Teyla felt her cheeks get warm. John merely gave her one of his cute and utterly irresistible smiles.

"Do you think about me often?" she asked, meaning for it to sound like she was teasing, but in reality it came out more heartfelt than that.

John nodded. "Yeah," he said, and this time it was him who blushed. "A lot actually." It was rare for him to be this open, and Teyla cherished it, burning the words and scene into her memory.

"What about you?" he asked lightly. "Do you think about me?"

He might sound like he was joking, but she knew he really wanted to know. That was how John worked.

Teyla shrugged her shoulders flirtatiously. "Perhaps…" she said, a large smile growing on her face.

John grinned back and she knew that he understood. That she did think about him, probably just as much as he thought about her.

Then, taking her by surprise, John leaned down and kissed her fully on the lips. Her body began to respond instinctively, leaning into the contact, but she stopped when her mind caught up with her actions.

"John," she whispered harshly. "We can't… not here." She looked around, but didn't see anyone through the glass windows, nor did she see any people on the other balconies.

"Well then," John said. "Let's go." He glanced at the door that lead back inside.

She couldn't help but laugh as he winked at her suggestively. Things really did seem brighter when he was around.

"Fine," she said, smiling brightly. "After you," she added, gesturing that he should precede her to the door.

He shook his head slightly. "Ladies first."

Teyla's smile grew even larger as she walked past him and he fell into step behind her. She was very lucky to have someone like John Sheppard in her life.

Teyla stood and gazed up at the stars for a few more minutes. She did have a mission to go on tomorrow and she needed her rest.

When she made it back to her room, Teyla popped open the small container of sleeping medication that Dr. Beckett had given her. She settled in to bed and lay there, waiting for the pill to take effect. She could only hope that it would make her drowsy enough to drop off into sleep.

Just as she was beginning to feel the effects of the medication, she thought she heard the soft sound of John snoring, something she missed dearly, and began to doze off. Then sleep took her completely, allowing her to get the rest she desperately needed.

TBC