"Bella," Edward whispered. His voice was too beautiful to believe, even now, after two years of knowing him, of loving him, I still couldn't get over the look in his eyes. My head turned to look at him from its resting place on the head rest, my eyes searched his gold ones for the briefest of moments. But even in that short moment I felt unbareable love, joy and desire surge through me, bringing up tears. I was shocked with myself and so I looked away, try to subtly brush the wetness from my eyes, but the tears were just as stubburn as I was, and kept coming.
Edward scootched closer to me in the back limo seat and touched my shuddering shoulder tentivly, as if he was suddnely afraid of me. I wondered momentarily why he hadn't wrapped me in his arms, like he usually did when I was upset. That's all I wanted him to do, was to hold me tightly, this new carefulness worried me. I acted on instinct alone and spun around and wrapped my arms around him, crying into his beautifully soft tuxedo.
"I'm sorry," Edward whispered into my hair.
"F-for what?" I stuttered, wiping the tears from my cheeks as I looked up at him. He seemed pained as our eyes connected.
"For ruinung your life, you could have been so much more," he gave a sad sigh as he looked away form me.
I gave a sigh and raised my head so I could kiss the hollow of his neck, and his hands wrapped around me, keeping me there. I fitted perfectly against his body, as if I had been modeled to fit into that perfect man's arms.
"That's not why I'm crying, you silly man!" I say, suddenly fighting off the urge to giggle at him. "These are tears of happiness!"
Edward let out an annoyed sigh, as he pulled away from me just far enough so he could look into my eyes again. He looked like he was concentrating hard, and suddenly his intense gold eyes unnerved me. They had that dazzling quality that had always been able to send my head spinning and twirling. I blinked but still wasn't able to look away from Edward's eyes.
"I wish I could read your thoughts," he said in a ragged voice. "I wouldn't keep doubting myself about this."
"Hey, hey!" I said, moving up so I sat in his lap. I was suddenly afraid that he would still be cautious, and gently push me off him, so I wrapped my arms around his chest tightly. Edward responded by wrapping his own long marble arms around my waste, holding me so tightly to him I wondered if I would have bruises. "We're married now, Edward!" I said, smiling widely at the term - married. "No doubts anymore!"
"You're right Bells," Edward said with a nod, placing his cheek against mine. "I want to say more, but we're almost at my house."
"Don't say more, Edward," I said, I was suddenly edgy. "I want more time, more... seriousness... Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes," Edward said with a long breath. "I'll wait, there is so much too say."
Edward's hand brushed down my neck and he let my favourite crooked smile grab at his lips. I nodded, feeling dazed at the sudden rsh of longing that swept through me. I needed to wait.
"I wish I could say it now, but it just doesn't feel right," I said. "But Tonight."
A wistful smile spread across his face, he leant in and kissed my forhead. "Tonight." he repeated against my skin.
We both closed our eyes at the feeling, and I felt my heart beat embarassingly fast. I couldn't wait until my heart couldn't embarass me like this in front of him. But he seemed pleased by the noise, and took in a deep pleased breath as I let his hand touch where my heart was. Edward was so close, I dipped my head to catch his peaceful eyes, and he looked up at me. My breath caught as Edward angled his head up to mine.
The car slowed to a stop and I was suddenly off his lap. I could hear sounds of a large crowd out side the limo, and I knew we had arrived at the after wedding party. The limo had taken its sweet time, giving us two newly wedded teens some time to indulge in some wedding bliss. Little did anyone but the Cullens really know that Edward and my wedding celebrations wouldn't start until we were away from Forks. Until everything was safe and secured. I grabbed Edward's hand so hard I began to turn my tight hand white, my face was no doubt blushing to the greatest extent. I hated being centre of attention, and that's all I would be for the next few hours until dark, and then we would be sent away to our honey moon.
From which we would never return...
"I won't ever let go." he swore, holding to my left hand with the same force in his grip. Edward brought my knuckles to his lips and kissed each one individually. I felt a huge smile spread acorss my face and so I brushed both our hands down his cheek, and that's when the door opened wide.
A loud cheer swelled outside, it was deafening, and I wondered if I really had all those firends. If all of them really were that happy to see me, I couldn't imagine it. Edward let out a low chuckle as he slipped out of the white limo first, giving the crowd a large wave and a huge smile like a celebirty. He tugged eagerly on my arm as I made my way slowly from the saftey of the car. I stumbled out and felt my face go even redder as everyone cheered at my appearance. I knew everyone in the crowd, and so felt slightly better about the fact that if I did embarass myself, it would be in front of friends.
Edward led me across his lawn, where the party would evidently be held. I waved shyly at everyone as we passed through them. I tried to figure out where we were going, but I couldn't figure it out, everyone was watching us make our way somewhere.
I found myself on Edward's front porch, and Edward was clearing his voice, preparing to speak. I saw my father standing in the crowd, beaming up at me as I stood red and silent at Edward's side. He let go of my hand to wrap his arm around my waste, pulling me in tightly to his side. I felt so comfortable there that I could even feel my blush going down. I nuzzled closer in to his side, not thinking of the crowd until they let out a long 'aw'.
Edward laughed and let his thumb idly stroke the white silk fabric of my dress. "Welcome, friends!" He said with a beautiful smile. "We are honoured by your presence at our home, and emplore you to make your self comfortable and enjoy the festivities, for there could be no better reason to be happy."
Everyone cheered at Edward, and I loved how charasmatic he could be, he made up for the both of us.
"Now, let the feast begin!" He shouted and everyone gave out more cheers. If they had known what Edward and his family really were, his last words would have the screeaming in fright and trying their best to run as far away from them as possible before they could eat them.
Edward turned us around and we headed in his front door. I should have known that it was going to be a huge galla. I had after all put Alice in charge and she couldn't help herself. Along the all window side of the huge first floor room, was a long table covered in a fine white table cloth, large high backed gold chairs were set up, no doubt for Edward and I and our families. The rest of the room was filled with circular tables with elaborate purple flower arrangements in the middle of gold dish sets. I growned inwardly at the fact that the piano still stood on its platform, and there was a man in an elaborate tuxedo standing by its side.
"I told her not to go too far," I muttered to Edward as we weaved up to the main table.
He laughed and kissed the top of my head, still keeping me firmly pinned to his side. "And did you expect her to listen?"
"I guess not." I grumbled as we made our way to our seats.
Quite embarassingly, I noticed that our two chairs were the biggest and had the most complex and delicate carvings. I sighed as Edward let me go and pulled out my chiar for me. I sat down a little less gracefully than I had palnned, but the seat was too high for me to gracefully sweep on to it. Edward pushed the huge seat in easily and sat down in his seat so fluently it raised jealousy in me. But his hand found mine again and he began to play delicatly with my fingers the way he always did, and all anger was gone from me.
We waited for everyone to come in and find their seats. Charlie sat next to me, beaming proudly, Renee sat next to him and Paul was next to her. My side of the family was certainly lacking when compared to Edward's side. Next to him sat Carlisle, then Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and lastly Roaslie.
The meal was brilliant and so delicious that I felt my taste buds go over the edge with each course. All my friends that sat at the tables in front of me couldn't beleive it either, and suddenly the room was booming with conversation. I was so glad that everyone felt at ease near the Cullens. I glanced over to see Edward eating pleasantly, he didn't seem to have as much on his plate as I or anyone else did, but I knew that he didn't really eat proper human food all that much.
I wasn't midning this wedding party all that much, I had expected to be centre of attention, and was quite pleased to find that the food distracted most of the guests. But suddenly, I was filled with fear as the piano man, who had been playing softly, stopped playing all together. I heard someone clear their throat and tap their glass. My headd turned to give Charlie a horrified look of betrayal as he stood... to make a toast!
"Calm down, Bella," Edward murmured in a voice so convincing it should have been illegal. "Everyone wanted to say something, but Alice and I cut it down a bit."
"A bit?" I choked out, but Edward had broken off the conversation to look up at Charlie intently. Smiling warmly as he pulled me a little closer.
"When Bella came to live me a little over two years ago, I was terrified. There was this teenage girl in fornt of me, and all I could think was 'Where did my little Bells go?'. She stood at the airport, waiting for me with squared hsoulders, braving herself to face me." Charlie looked so charasmatic as he gave his speech, and I wondered where this bravery had come from. "Over the years, Bella pretty much went her own way, barely telling me anything she was planning over an hour in advance. When Edward here, showed up, I felt a sweep of dread." Everyone laughed, even Edward, it all seemed so normal that I couldn't help but laugh too. "He was the definition of heart breaker in my books, and I felt suddenly floored as Bella sat in my kicthen one night and told me she was meeting her boyfriend's family that night and that he would actually be coming over in five minutes so I oculd meet him. And that his name was Edward Cullen. Then, a few months ago, the same thing happened. I was sitting in my kitchen, home from a fishing trip, and that's when Edward and Bella came rushing into my house, telling me that they were actually engaged to be married in a few months, and I could like it or lump it."
I blushed and looked away from the laughing crowd, I met Edward's smiling eyes and he leant in and gave me a kiss.
"To Edward and Bella." Charlie said as he raised his champagne glass, everyone falled suit. "May you always live life with the same passion!"
Everyone drank down their champagne and then began clapping. I began to only sip mine, I had enough balance problems, being tipsy probably wouldn't help me in that catagory. Charlie sat and I leaned over and kissed his cheek as he wrapped me in a hug. Suddenly, Carlisle had stood up, and Edward's hand was tight. Finally, he would knwo what it wzas like to be nervous about what his own dad would say about him.
"I don't want to give a huge speach," Carlisle began, looking down at Edwrad as if he was silently apoligizing for something. "But a few days ago, as I tried my hardest to think of what I wasgoing to say, I remembered teh first day I met Bella." Carlisle laughed and corrected himself. "Well, second time I met her, first time was when she managed to get herself in to the ER.
But the first time I met her as 'Edward's girlfirend' was a Sunday, and she had come to visit our house for the first time. My wife, Esma, had embarassed our son by forcing him to play some piano for Bella. He obeyed his mother like a good boy, and Bella sat next to him as he began to play out. But suddenly, he began playing an unfamiliar tune." I gasped and covered my mouth as Edward glanced to me with wide eyes. Was Carlisle talking about my lullaby?
"Dad," Edward grolwed and everyone laughed. Carlisle patted Edward's back as he continued.
"He bent over and told Bella, who sat by his side on the piano seat, that she had inspired the song." Carlisle flourished a hand to the paino player who sat up straight and hovered his hands over the keys. "Bella had looked truly touched as Edward continued to play the sweet song. So, this evening, I give you Bella's Lullaby." he sat back down and the piano player took his que.
The piano player began to play out the ver familiar tune that had given me so many peaceful nights that as I heard it I flet immediatly calmed. I closed my eyes and rememberred the first night he stayed, and when his mouth had hovered near my ear, humming my lullaby. The song finsihed and I notcied there was barely a dry eye in the house!
"One of these days Im going to write lyrics for it," Edward whispered in to my ear and I felt myself go red. I couldn't stop myself, his lips had moved against the sensitive skin of my ear as he had said it in the most seductive voice. It sent a thrill threw me as it sent images in my head of what we'd be doing together once we were on our honey moon.
Everyone cheered as the piano player stood and bowed. Edward bent over and gave Carlisle a few good thumps on his back. Edward didn't look too happy that the whole world had heard our lullaby. But I was glad everyone had heard that story, maybe because it really showed Edward and my love. It seemed so much more real in the medium of song, it said so much more than words could.
I held my breath in dread as I prepared myself for another speech, but nothing came. I let out a deep breath as I looked back down at my plate. But there was no food left! In fact, I noted with fear, the caterers were actuallly moving around to take away the desert plates and dirty cups.
"What now?" I grumbled to Edward, and he laughed.
"You throw the boquet and we get to dance." Edward replied, letting his fingers wrap and unwrap themselves around my loose hair.
"Edward, I'm going to kill someone if I try to throw a boquet blindly into a crowd! And dancing! Edward! You know I seriously lack dancing skills." I began to scramble for any excuse to get me out of the rest of this party. Maybe I could convince him to take me away sooner than expected...
"Please, Bella..." Edward said as he siezed my hand tighter than ever and pulling it up to his face so I could lay it there. His skin was hard but I felt warmth spread in my stomach as I touched his beautiful skin. "Let me show my bride off, I want everyone to know I have you."
I couldn't help it, I had been convinced to let him dance with me. I grumbled an oath and then looked back up at his glorious eyes. "What about the boquet?"
"Alice really wants to catch it." Edward replied with a shrug. "At the last wedding we had, Emmet and Roaslie's, Esme caught the boquet, and Alice was bit down."
"Why?" I asked.
"She wants the next wedding to be hers, so she's desperate to catch it this time." Edward said with a shrug.
I let out a sigh and caught sight of Alice beaming, she had no doubt seen that I had decided to throw the boquet, and there for could see herself catching it in the future. She gave me a freidnly wave from the other side of Esme, and I waved back.
"Fine," I said back to Edward. "Let's get this disaster over with."
Edward laughed and played with my hand quietly. I don't know how everyone knew, but suddenly everyone was getting up as they talked in a quiet hum, and left to go outside onto the lawn. I felt weird that I had to wait for them all to leave, but I sat still by Edward's side, waiting.
"I'll see you outside, champ," Charlie said, standing. I gave him a wistful smile as I looked up at him. He saw something in my eyes, and rested a strong head atop my head. He ran his finger along the silver tiara I wore, and he gave a nastolgic smile. He turned and left alone. Renee had left long ago and so reallly all who was left were the Cullens and I. But I guess you could say I was a Cullen too. The thought had me smiling down at my hands that were still entwined with Edward's.
Alice rose form her seat and quickly walked over to us, looking like a beautiful angel in her purple dress. She wrapped her arms around Edward's neck from behind, but he seemed undisturbed by it, as if Alice had been a light breeze, and not a vampire holding him in a stone grasp. She smiled from her position at me, and I couldn't help but smile back, even though I had only just been feeling angry at her wedding plan craziness.
"You are the most beautiful bride," Alice cooed, her hand reached out and held to my chin. I barely noticed the coldness of her touch. "No one can doubt your love."
"I wasn't aware that anyone did," I said slowly, glancing to Edward who managed to shrug, and Alice's body heaved up and down with his movement.
"People talk," he said simply. "They can't help themselves. But don't let them worry you, Bella."
I winced slightly, knowing all too well that those who gossiped were probably my old friends. People I would be giving up forever, just for this love I felt between Edward and I.
"Come on," Alcie cheered, suddenly off Edward. "Boquet time!"
She grabbed hold of Jasper and yanked him off his chair, spinning him around once, twice, three times. He laughed easily and gave Alice a kiss just above her eyebrow. I smiled at them, I never saw Jasper happier than when he was with Alice. He seemed to take releif in her general presence, as if time spent apart was barely managable. I wondered that maybe we were much more alike in that way then I thought we were, both he and I had fallen hard in love. Cupid had both snuck up on us and pulled the rug from under our feet.
Alice and he came up to me in a flash, so quickly I was momentarily was caught off guard. Jasper smiled awkwardly, as if he would rather be somewhere else. Anywhere else rather than near me. I felt suddenly dejected, and focussed on Alice's eagar eyes.
"I'll be standing in the front of the crowd, so don't throw it too far," Alice instructed, and I nodded slowly, grasping she talked of the boquet only too late. She kissed my head, and then sprinted out of the room, Jasper following eagarly.
"He does like you," Edward whispered to me, he must have notcied how Jasper's continued ignorance hurt me. "He's always just a little overwhelmed... what with your scent..."
"Soon I'll make it better for him. Soon he'll be able to be around me with out feeling such pain." I swore, sounding eagar. My eyes shone to Edward, and he gave me a sad crooked smile. "And soon, it won't be painful for you either."
"I wish you didn't think it was your duty to help me, to help any one." He sighed. "We could stay married and still not change you."
I put my finger to his lips softly, letting it dwell against the hardness of them. "Shut up, Edward." I said kindly. "I love you, and there is no going back on your deal. Or I will hunt you down and force you to bite me."
"How would you do that, exactly?" He asked playfully.
"Oh I'll find away. Don't ever doubt that, you'll be in for a shock. I can be quiteresourceful and cunning." I said with a laugh. "I am a ploice chief's daughter, after all!"
There was a small noise of disgust, and I looked up to see Rosalie rolling her eyes and stalking out of the room. Her hate for me seemed to grow now that I was sealing the deal with Edwrad. Had she really thought she could change my mind? That her unhappy tale would suddenly change my mind set... Did she think my heart that fickle? I glared at the back of her beautiful head, and she turned and caught my eye before I could change my look of anger. She just scoffed once more and swayed out of the room.
"Emmett," she called as she left the room. Emmett gave Edward an impish smile before he followed his mate out. I didn't hate Emmett for it, he was faithful to his love and that only strengthed my awe for him. Anyone who put up with Rosalie's odd pet peeves, if I could be considered a pet peeve, got a thumbs up from me. I wondered if I'd be able to do it.
I hadn't cared about Edward's prickly responce when ever I had brought up Jacob. In fact, back when visting Jacob had been a fixation for me, or an option for that matter, I had ignored Edward's demands to stay away. Now all that's changed. Edward had stopped caring about me going, giving my friendship allowance. But I had not seen the love between Jacob and myself. Not enough love to change a thing for my future, but enough to hurt everyone. I had nearly screwed everything up, but Edward had stayed by my side, even when I had ripped his dead heart from his chest, and fed it to the werewolf that was Jacob. I looked away from Edward's beautiful face, feeling as if I was betraying him all over agian by even thinking of Jacob. My love for Edward could never be threatened, everything paled in its wake, but the fact that Jacob existed... That there was a love available for me outside of Edward, made me think of the human I could be... The human Edward wanted me to be... The human I didn't want to be... But the human that was most likely the better choice...
"What are you thinking?" Edward asked me in a worried tone. I knew he hated not knowing the thoughts that passed through my head.. He thought the worst when my mind went off away from him, Edward always over-reacted. I placated him with a kiss against his grasping and anxious hand.
"What am I thinking?" I asked myself. "I'm thinking about the future, and what could have been. All those options that now seem bleak compared to what lays ahead of me."
"Ready, Bella?" Alice whined, her small head poking around the door.
I noticed that Esme and Carlisle had melted away, no doubt somewhere outside, waiting for the fated couple to emerge. I nodded to her and she vanished in fornt of my eyes.
"I can't keep my crowd waiting any longer," I sighed dramatically, standing from my seat and looking down at Edwards forzen figure. "Aren't you coming?" I asked him, suddenly wary I had said too much.
We weren't going to talk about anything serious until we were free. Until Forks, our temporary cage, was opened and we could be truly ourselves. It was for this main reason, the fact that what we had to say was too important to say so openly. The words, the feelings, the consequences, they were all too important to speak of with everyone around. They were purposeful words, they were our secret vows. I feared I had ruined the moment, the one at present and the one that promised itself for later.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Don't be. You should think about that while you have a chance to turn around," he said to me. I hated that we were talking about it while everyone waited for us outside. It was too rushed, too impersonal. Our first time really needed to be out first time. The first time for letting ourselves completely be exposed to another. In both a physical and emotional state.
"I'm not turning around." I said in a rushed voice. Than I pulled hard on his hand that was wrapped around my own. "Now come on! Give me a chance to screw up the boquet throwing. Maybe It'll impale someone!"
Edward smiled, gladly distracted. He stood up with me and we walked towards the front door. As we walked Edward wrapped his arm around my waste snuggly and I came in so close to him, that I could smell the delicious scent of him. "Its made of soft purple flowers, the only damamge it could do is if it flies to someone who is allergic." Edward said as he slolwy rubbed the fabric across my hip, giving me goosebumps.
"Not true," I said, feigning real concern about the deadliness of my wedding flowers. "They have stems. Pointy. Dangerous. Stems."
He hit his forehead dramatically. "Of course! How could I forget! Should I throw the flowers for you?
"I'm a bride, Edward." I said with a grumble. "Not a baby."