A/N: Very dark fanfiction with implied rape and torture. Major violence and whumpage for Brandt. Ethan/Brandt slash. MI4 does not belong to me and I am just borrowing the character for fun.
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Chapter 2 – Holding on
Benji pulls their van into the dark alley of the brothel while Ethan and Jane maneuver Brandt out through the back door.
Ethan carefully cradles Brandt's torso close to his chest, reaches down and scoops up his legs. Jane drapes Benji's jacket over Brandt's chest and also covers his private area.
A low soft whisper escapes Brandt's lips and he clutches Ethan's shirt until his knuckles turn white.
The last time Ethan attempted fireman's carry was with Julia at their honeymoon and that's five years ago. There is no doubt Brandt is fitted. But five days of torture and suffering have brutalized his body and probably have caused him to drop 20 or 30 pounds. Ethan wonders if the last time Brandt eat anything was the morning of the mission.
"I…I think I can walk…Ethan"
Ethan knows Brandt does not mean to sound so pathetic, but his voice shakes with uncertainty and hesitation.
"And I can fly too Brandt. Relax, this might be the only time you earn this kind of luxury treatment." Ethan feels the young man takes a deep breath and sinks into his arms.
The summer heat in a un-air conditioned brothel is making Ethan sweated profoundly. He wishes he had listened to Benji and opted for a cooler clothing choice. The heat is making it hard to firmly hold onto Brandt and Ethan has to stop a couple of times to readjust.
"Sorry…" Brandt chuckles while Ethan stops briefly to shift his agent's weight.
"What for?" Ethan can't help but wonder.
"To…heavy…"Brandt manages to grind the words out.
Ethan smiles at the comment. "Not at all, in fact I feel like I am carrying a feather. I am going to cook for you every day until you gain all the pounds you have lost."
The statement warms Brandt's heart. In their relationship, Brandt discovers that Ethan absolutely hates cooking. However, when he does, he makes an amazing meal. Up to today, Ethan has only cooked for Brandt twice and once on Christmas and once on his birthday. Brandt has pushed Ethan for the reason. But Ethan has never told him.
It was six months ago when they were moving that Brandt discovered all the recipes Ethan cooked for him on Christmas in an old wooden box. Brandt immediately recognized the handwriting. It was Julia's. Since that day, Brandt has never asked again for the reason and has just accepted whenever Ethan wants to cook.
With a gun draw-out, Jane leads the way and Ethan follows not far behind. Jane kicks down the door leading to the back alley and sees Benji drives-up to the door.
The welcoming breeze of a summer night is like heaven for Ethan. But the fragile body in his arms shakes and shivers violently.
"Stay with me, Will." Ethan comforts.
"We better hurry; a van in the middle of the red light district certainly will draw attention." Benji says as he parks the van and speaks to the group through the opened passage window.
"Why?" Jane asks as she opens the slide doors and climbs in first.
"While, I mean, there are so many you know places to do it, why would there be a van? You know?" Benji answers. "I mean no one wants to do it in a van…it is small, hot and messy. Plus there are so many things you can't do in a van like if you want to be on top then your head will technically hit the roof of the car and…
"Shut-it Benji!" Jane stares at the technician. Benji's analysis is not something that Jane wants or cares to hear at this moment.
"Ethan, hand him to me, it will be easier for you to get in." Jane motions for Ethan to shift Brandt over.
"I got him!" Ethan does not mean to sound so defensive. But it is already too late. Thankfully Jane understands and smiles at him. "I know, but let's not do anymore damage to Brandt by having you fall over, ok"
Ethan nods and gently hands Brandt over to Jane and climbs in after. The back of the van is stripped of the seats and the floor is covered with soft mats. Sitting on the floor is not so bad until the van starts to move through the streets of Kosovo. With no seats and seatbelts to stabilize the bodies, Ethan and Jane glide with the motion of the car.
Brandt lies on the floor of the van with his head on Jane's lap while Ethan digs through the first aid kit for anything that will help.
When Ethan is about to use the alcohol wipes to clean the dirt and dried blood trails off, Brandt weakly grabs hold of Ethan's wrist and successfully got all Ethan's attention on him.
His dark green eyes are clouded over with a feverish look and pain. Beads of sweat cover the young agent's forehead. But there is something else. Ethan sees fear, helplessness, and panic.
"I need to take a look Brandt." Ethan coaxes.
"I am ok, Ethan, really." Brandt whispers quietly. He still holds onto Ethan's wrist with no indication of releasing.
"You're a terrible liar." Ethan states as he tries to break free. But he stops dead in his attempt as he witnesses the anguish in Brandt's eyes and the trail of tears trickling down his face.
Brandt sniffs a sob. "Please…" Whatever Ethan is going to say or do, Brandt's desperate plead is enough to halt everything. At this moment Ethan decides he will do whatever he can even if it means leaving the IMF to never hear Brand sobs please in that awful broken voice again.
"Ok…ok how about just some water for now? Can you drink some for me?" Ethan asks softly as he carefully wipes Brandt's tears away. Ethan would gladly trade places with Brandt if it eased all these pain.
Brandt slowly nods. Water sure sounds good right now. Brandt can't remember the last time he actual drink anything that was not the freeze water they poured on him to shock him awake. Ethan grabs a nearby water bottle, unscrews the cap and shifts forward to tilt the opening towards Brandt's lips. Jane uses both her knees and slowly elevates the young agent in her lap.
"Small sips ok." Ethan instructs as he carefully angles the bottle.
The water feels good against his dry throat. But at the same time it also washes down the residual loads in Brandt does mouth, making the water tastes salty.
Ethan and Jane both are equally unprepared when Brandt nearly chokes on the water. However, it is Ethan that grabs hold of Brandt as his body shakes to expel the water.
"Slow down, breathe with me…" Ethan starts to rub small circles behind Brandt's back and takes deep breath, hoping the agent will follow his lead.
After a minute, Brandt slowly calms down, mentally trying to push away the image of his assault. He realizes now he is leaning against Ethan and his chin rests on his Ethan's shoulder. Ethan's hand is still rubbing small circles behind him. For a moment, Brandt imagines they are back in Rome where they had their first date.
"Are you still with me Brandt?" Ethan gently stokes his partner's arm. Brandt has been still for a while now and Ethan has become worried.
Brandt exhales deeply and leans closer to Ethan to show that he is aware. Ethan tightens his hold on his partner, vowing never to let go.
Jane feels self-conscious in the back with Ethan and Brandt, like she is intruding on a private moment between the two. It is no secret in their team that Ethan and Brandt have been together. Although for a while Benji was blinded to the fact. They never come out and state the fact, but little things here and there are clear enough for Jane to see.
Two years ago, Julia remarried. She wanted a child and that was something Ethan could never give her. So instead, Ethan let her go. She met a doctor at the hospital she worked in and in Ethan's absence; they quickly went from friends to more than friends. Ethan mailed the divorce paper to her house and Julia mailed her ring to his apartment. There were no hard feelings and Ethan even attended her wedding. But deep down, Jane knew Ethan was lost and miserable and that was until he came back from Rome. Ethan and Brandt went on a two men mission to extract a CIA agent in Rome. Somewhere between Ethan falling into a freezing river and a hotel in Rome, Ethan and Brandt happened.
After that mission, often Jane would catch Ethan staring at Brandt with devotion. In Benji and her presences, there is never physical contact between the two, never a display of affection or a hint of love. But every time Brandt is the decoy in a mission, Ethan will always say something extra to him. Every time Brandt comes back unscratched, Ethan will exhale deeply and smile at the young agent. Those little things here and there have allowed Jane to piece together the puzzle.
And now here, in the back of the van, Ethan forgoes all formality and holds onto Brandt.
I will gladly take your pain away, love you like there is no tomorrow
I will gladly wipe your tears away, love you like the sun will never rise
Please don't cry my love, I will shoulder all your sorrow
Please don't leave my love, I will never forget your beautiful eyes.