A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. This is the last fully written chapter I have done so far so I didn't want to rush through posting the first bits and then not update for ages lol. Updates will likely be slow like this; motivation is fleeting these days.

After a brief, fitful sleep, Buck decided he might as well go to the gym before his shift like he had said. Maybe a good workout would help clear his mind. He got dressed and threw a change of clothes in his gym bag, figuring he would just shower at the gym and go straight to work. Before he left though, he couldn't resist sitting on the edge of the bed and watching Abby sleep peacefully for a minute. He was still unsettled by their talk last night. He loved her, he knew that, and he really didn't want to imagine his life without her, but that was essentially what she was asking him to do: take her out of the equation and figure out what he wanted independent of her. And while he understood where she was coming from, he wasn't a fan of the idea. Every time he looked at her, he was awestruck that a woman so amazing actually wanted to be with him. She was more than he had ever hoped for. But he had made her a promise, and he would try his best to keep it. He bent over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before reluctantly heading out.

As it turned out, the workout did not bring him clarity or take his mind off of Abby. He knew she hadn't meant for him to think obsessively about his future but he couldn't help it. In hindsight, he supposed her concern really wasn't out of left field; it had just felt like it was, because it had simply never occurred to him before. And he was starting to get a little annoyed at himself for that. She had hit the nail on the head: he had just been going with the flow, feeling like there was all the time in the world, because for him, there was. It was her that he hadn't considered, and that was a disappointing realization. In his mind, that was his lack of maturity showing through, in spite of his best efforts to get with the program. She hadn't said so, but he felt like he had let her down by being so unprepared to discuss their future.

Similar thoughts plagued him all day, to the point where he was having trouble concentrating when they weren't out on a call. After catching him zoning out for the third time, Bobby called him over to sit at the table.

"You want to tell me what's been on your mind all day?"

Buck hesitated. Family was a bit of a sensitive subject, and he wasn't sure if he should bring it up. But on the other hand, he could really use some advice.

With a deep breath, he bit the bullet. "Did you always know you wanted to have kids?"

Bobby looked momentarily surprised, but took it in stride. "Pretty much, yeah. I wasn't always sure it would happen for me, but that was always the goal. Why, are you and Abby thinking about having a baby?"

"No… sort of… I don't know." He sighed. "I guess with her birthday and everything, she's just wondering if we'll really work out. She's worried I'll decide I want a family, and it'll be too late for us, so she wants me to start thinking about it."

"She has a point. If you want a biological child together, you don't have a lot of time left. You could always adopt though if you decide later on that you want to be parents."

"That's true. Would you have adopted if you couldn't have your own?"

"Yeah, I think we probably would have. To be honest though, I really enjoyed the whole pregnancy thing. It's kind of amazing to watch your baby grow, feel it kick, hear its heartbeat. But I think there's a lot more options with adoptions now; I'm pretty sure there are arrangements where you can be involved in the baby's life before it's born."

Buck groaned. "There's so much to think about."

"When you boil it down, there really isn't. The only questions you need to answer are: do you want to be a father, and are you ready now or do you need more time? Your answers to those two things will dictate the rest for you."

"I guess you're right."

"What does Abby want?"

"I asked but I didn't get a straight answer. I think the gist of it was that she's afraid to want anything."

"Well, on the plus side, not having an answer means her response won't influence yours. That being said, I think there is an answer hidden in what you just said."

Buck thought so too, and he was pretty sure he knew what that answer was, but he was trying not to think about it too much. As much as he yearned to give her everything she ever wanted, he had to be sure he was 100% on board with something this big or it could tear them apart in the end.

"Did you feel ready when you had your first?"

"I don't think anyone feels completely ready the first time. Even when you think you are, it's still a little scary when it becomes real. But at the same time, it's also pretty exciting. What does your gut tell you?"

"Honestly? I have no idea."

"Well, take as much time and space and you need to think things out. It's a big decision. Deep down, I think you do have a gut feeling about it, you're just not hearing it yet."

With that, Bobby pushed his chair back and headed to the sink to tackle some dishwashing.

"Thanks," Buck called after him. He wasn't sure that conversation had actually helped him get closer to a decision, but he at least felt better for hearing someone else's experience.

Abby was already home when he got back to the apartment, sitting on the couch and watching the news. He sat down beside her and she smiled, leaning over to kiss him before turning her attention back to the screen. Again, he took the opportunity to just look at her for a minute, and he was almost overwhelmed by the amount of emotions swirling in his chest. His thoughts were instantly in a jumble as he tried to process everything he was feeling, and then suddenly he realized she had been talking to him.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked what you wanted to do about dinner. We've done takeout a lot lately, I was thinking I should make something."

"Sure, whatever you want."

She looked at him quizzically. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been kind of spacey today, I don't know why."

He did know why, but he wasn't going to admit it. He thought back over what he just said, and a word clicked in his head: space. Bobby had mentioned space, and that's exactly what he needed right now. He couldn't think straight with her so close by.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go for a run before dinner."

"I thought you went to the gym this morning. You were gone when I woke up."

"I did. I'm just a little wound up from work still. I'll help you with dinner when I get back."

She looked concerned, but she nodded and headed off to the kitchen to survey the fridge.

He knew where he was going, and he ran hard the whole way there, trying to burn off some nervous energy. He slowed to a walk as he approached the little park and took a seat on the bench next to the little footpath that ran the length of the park. He seriously needed to get his shit together about this parenting thing before he lost his marbles. Absentmindedly, he found himself watching a woman push her young child on the swing in the playground across the way. He could see himself playing with a child like that. It wasn't like he didn't like kids. And in that moment he understood that he definitely wasn't ready to rule out having a family. That was progress, he supposed. Closing his eyes, he thought back to the night of the full moon, when those women were in labour. Initially he was terrified, but when he saw Bobby deliver that baby and he cut the cord, he had to admit, he had been pretty jazzed about it. It was like Bobby had said earlier: scary, but exciting. He imagined seeing and holding his own baby for the first time, and his heart started to beat faster. Bobby had been right that deep down, he did know what he wanted, and he just hadn't been listening. He wanted all of it. But he didn't just want it for himself; he wanted it for him and Abby. When he tried to picture another woman in her place, he felt ambivalent. But when he thought about doing this with her, that's when he would feel the surge of excitement. They could do this. With renewed energy, he hopped up off the bench and started running towards home.

Despite being physically tired, he felt like he was walking on a cloud by the time he walked through the front door. It was like coming to this realization had lifted a huge weight off his shoulders, one he didn't even know he was carrying, and now he felt so empowered that he was almost giddy. He came up behind Abby and spun her around, pinning her against the counter.

"Well hello," she giggled.

"Hi."

She wrinkled her nose. "You need a shower."

"Yeah, but I need to kiss you first."

He silenced her soft laughter with his lips.

"You seem awfully happy. Must have been a really good run."

"Extremely good," he replied, kissing her again before she shoved him towards the bathroom with a laugh and told him to shower quick before dinner was ready.

When he returned, now donning sweatpants and an LAFD t-shirt, there was a salad and spaghetti waiting for him on the table. He took his seat across from Abby and started tossing the salad.

"So I remembered why we've been doing takeout lately," she said.

"Oh yeah? Why?"

"Because there's no food in the house."

He chuckled. "At least we had lettuce."

"I picked that up on my way home yesterday because I needed it to make my lunch for today."

"So what you're saying is date night will be at the grocery store this week."

"Pretty much. I don't think it can wait until our day off."

"That's okay, I'll figure out a way we can have fun at the grocery store."

"I'm sure you will."

He was dying to tell her about his decision, but he didn't want to have a table between them when he told her, so he was waited until after dinner. It took all of his willpower not to blurt it out, but he did manage to keep it under wraps. As soon as they had filled the dishwasher, he took her hand and led her to the couch.

"I take it you want to talk?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah. I, uh, I've been thinking a lot about what you said last night."

Her smile faltered. "Buck, you don't have to –" He held up his hand and she stopped.

"I know you said I wasn't on a deadline, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. You're the most important thing in the world to me, and I hate not knowing where we stand so I needed to work this out as soon as I could. Abby, I do want to have kids, but only if I can do that with you. And if it doesn't work out for us to have one of our own or we decide we want to wait a while, I'm fine with adopting. I mean, if you're fine with it, of course."

She looked shocked, and there were tears in her eyes. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "Are you sure? It's okay if you want to sleep on it."

"I'm sure. Very sure. I'm actually pretty excited about it."

"Really?" she asked, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

"Really. Now, you know what I want; what do you want?"

"The same thing. All of it. But if we want any chance of having a biological child…"

"It would have to be soon," he finished for her.

"Yeah."

"I'm fine with that."

"You are?"

"I told you, I'm excited. I really do want this. Let's just go for it."

"Buck, it's a big decision."

"If it happened now, would you be okay with it?"

She bit her lip. "Yes."

"Then what's the problem? You want to, I want to, so let's do this!"

"Okay. But you have to promise me you won't get your hopes up too high, okay? I don't know how successful we'll be, and if I need fertility treatment, that's going to be expensive."

"Okay, I'll try to take it down a notch."

"Let's just stop using protection for a while and see if anything happens, and in the mean time we can start putting some money aside in case we need to go to a specialist."

"Deal."

She laughed. "Oh my God, I can't believe we're doing this. We haven't even been together for a full year yet."

"Almost."

"That depends – are you counting from when we met, or when we actually attempted a date?"

"From when we met. I knew you were special from the get go."

"Okay, then it is pretty close," she conceded.

"I just didn't need a whole year to figure out you're a keeper."

He pulled her into his lap, and kissed her slowly, deeply, until she was squirming in his arms. He loosened his hold on her and she shifted to straddle him, moaning into his mouth when she felt his hardness between her legs.

"What do you say," he murmured between kisses, "we take this to the other room... get started on the whole baby thing."

"I would say… what are we waiting for?"

A/N: I know, I cheated you out of the smut lol. But my other fic I'm working on requires quite a lot of it, so I'm a little tapped out atm :P.