Things tried to go on without much suffering.
She eventually returned to her Division, after an elongated debate between the sparring Captains that resulted in a list of restrictions and limits that he wasn't allow to cross- under no circumstances anyways. It reduced her to handling just paperwork… something she could easily do but felt as though it wasted her true potential in Division Twelve. But as Captain Unohana and Isane herself had listed, at this point, just about any kind of vapor, fume or chemical could prove fatal to the unborn child.
Unborn thing as many others had described…
She couldn't blame them, those same thoughts had crossed her once or twice before.
This kind of offspring… she supposed it didn't really have a name. It wasn't human, it wouldn't be Shinigami and it wouldn't be Hollow; it was a mix, a hybrid of something in between those two. Would it deserve it's own category? It's own name and title to be stuffed into a research novel that would be published in a few years. Groundbreaking news, right? Asides from his initial dismay at the news, her Captain had shifted his mood just ever so slightly… enough to be noticed by her and not many others. Because this was a first time event and had very little chance of being recreated by someone else, he was pretty much at the front of a scientific, revolutionary breakthrough; no one could compete with him, not Captain Unohana, not even Urahara… of course that would put him into a good mood.
In a sense, she was finally proving to be of some worth to him.
And that was a good thing, right?
He didn't have to deal with the cold sweats, constant tremors and the continuous feeling of exhaustion. The fatigue drove her to be unconscious for days at a time without any realization of the passing time. What felt like just a few hours of sleep turned into three days and it was progressively getting longer every time she closed her eyes. She couldn't really understand why Isane had looked so worried when she woke up from the latest incident… at least until the woman explained that she had been out for almost a week and a half. It was a strange side effect, certainly not one of normal proportions, but she supposed it seemed suitable at best. This thing that was growing inside of her was fighting her just the same; her body was trying to shut itself down into a hibernating state to better adjust to the situation. She kept fighting it though, knowing well that she still needed to get things done and try to keep herself from losing the little bit of importance she had to this Division.
Sometimes it was just easier to sleep though.
That way she didn't have to deal with the bleeding.
She didn't have to deal with the constant feeling as though something was chewing through her insides. Pain bounced from one end of her ribcage to the next until it settled into the pit of her stomach, churning and twisting till it brought her to her knees. She tried not to let it get in her way though… as hard as that was on some days.
But she guessed it might've been a little harder for the being inside of her. It was growing in a body that it half recognized and half hated, that was if it was possible for their differentiating energies to merge together; one would definitely be dominate over the other and with just these first few symptoms… she was beginning to wonder if it was a little Hollow taking control.
There wasn't a heartbeat when it was checked for, but Captain Unohana assured that it was just too early to determine that for sure. She said they would try again around twenty weeks or so and see what there was to see… the simple thought of that created an unsettled feeling inside of her. It was difficult to understand; she guessed a lot of it had to be put on how outside factors were affecting her. She didn't leave the Twelfth Division barracks anymore and the few times that she did… it didn't exactly help her all that much. The talking was still there, but no one bothered to hide it anymore; the details and words were intensified and there was no lack of strange looks directed at her. They were easy to ignore during their appearances, but those cold night sweats that destroyed her sleeping schedules when she was most vulnerable flooded her memory with those ill-toned phrases.
She didn't blame them… it was true… everything they said after all.
And yet she couldn't bring herself to think those kinds of things towards that little flicker of life that was feeding off of her. It wasn't like this whole mess was its fault. If anything, she was more to blame than it was.
It.
She kept referring to the offspring as that, didn't she? It would be a long time before they'd be able to determine the sex of the child… but she managed to convince herself to refer to it as a girl, because it was essentially an extension of herself. Whether or not that would stay true in the distant future, she would have to wait and see…
The time spent in her Division house felt like it was slowly draining her of any ounce of artificial life she bore in her test-tube veins. When the words of another visit to the human world came up, she offered to go along despite her condition- which was the first thing everyone brought up. She assured them that the transfer into her gigai wouldn't affect her condition and that it was highly doubtful that, in the off chance that it does, the damages would prove any significance. There were concerns about her safety and health, Captain Unohana didn't want to risk the chance that she could possibly be injured in the moving between the dimensions; Captain Mayuri didn't wish to give someone the chance to mess up the rarity of this situation, he didn't want to lose the research they had going; and Isane… she was afraid that the entire situation that gave start to this was going to repeat itself, she was certain there were going to be Hollows there.
In the end, she was granted permission to go.
How the odds managed to swing into her favor, she wasn't sure… but they did and that relieved her for once. It would be a nice break from the confining environment around her, but she'd only be fooling herself if she said that was her only reason. If anyone else had known about the truth behind this severe circumstance, the motive would be easy to give up. She just… wanted to see if he was there, just this once.
If he wasn't, then things would go on as they were.
If he was… she didn't know.
The human world felt odd against her skin and even worse as it circulated through her airways and blood streams. She kept a straight face with it and went about with the expedition team, keeping herself close with the group as they collected their needed samples. A few members were ordered to keep a close eye on her, but she watched as they progressively moved further and further away instead; their minds working on a dozen things at once and trying to switch between whichever topic needed their attention the most. It would've been easy to slip away… but she had assured both Captain Unohana and Isane that she would be careful on this trip.
She had no intentions of breaking her word to the both of them.
From what she could tell though… he wasn't here anyways. She didn't know why she thought he would be here, or why she was even looking forward to seeing him again. As far as he was probably concerned, he got what he wanted; his curiosity was satisfied.
And just like many others had done so before, he probably tossed her aside with little given to second thoughts. On any normal basis, it wouldn't have bothered her and she would've been okay with it… this was different though, wasn't it?
"Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant Kurotsuchi?"
She glanced up at the quiet call and watched as a pale-skinned Division member approached her. His gigai dressed in a suiting, semi-formal attire with a black vest over a white dress shirt to match the dark slacks and colorless belt around his narrow waist; discolored locks were neatly pulled back into a small ponytail and revealed the multitude of piercings that dangled off of one ear. "Yes."
"We need to gather some test samples from one more location, but we're already stretched thin enough as it is…"
She knew where this was going without having the man finish his sentence. "Where's the next location? I'll be able to handle the sample collections on my own."
And just like that, they had forgotten again about their duties to her… but she wouldn't remind them. She just took the needed paperwork and went about her way. Isolation and seclusion… she could use those right about now. Her body was overreacting to this world and she wanted to hide that weakness from the others. They probably wouldn't recognize it or they would kid her into thinking they didn't notice it; she was smarter than that though, smarter than them.
She let herself become immersed into this mismatched world and tried to find some kind of comfort in the cool breeze that played with the ends of her bangs. It felt like every set of eyes were drawn into her direction, pinned to her as they watched her ever so carefully. It wasn't necessarily something new she supposed… it did make her rethink the rather shortened outfit she had been fitted to wear though. Had it been any other mission, she wouldn't have found the looks to be daunting, but they made her want to leave as quickly as she could this time around.
The gentle rustling of the leaves above her helped to calm the unsettling thoughts as she tried to remain focused on the task at hand. The device they used to record the different energy levels around them was usually a complex-looking machine that only Division Twelve members knew how to operate, but for the sake of moving around in the human world, it was outfitted with a difference appearance; it was shrunk down into a cellular device-looking piece and could be operated with a few button clicks. So far, no one seemed to think otherwise of it, which meant the prototype was working its way into being a success. Even she was surprised by how efficient it worked with just a few clicks given at the proper time.
Green eyes watched as several numerical readings ran back and forth across the screen, ascending with significant differences as the decimal point was pushed further and further back. It was enough to cause her to stop briefly and look up into the surroundings around her. From what several signs had said and given the landscape outline, the small park seemed to offer little more than a few walking paths and an outfitted entertainment course for small children… It didn't exactly seem like a place for readings like these. They weren't high enough to cause a stir but they did confirm some kind of previous engagement. Either several low-leveled Hollows were about and close by, or… a higher-leveled one had just left and his energy residue was left behind.
The numbers just kept going up though… and then they stopped.
She passed it off as a fluke; perhaps the machine wasn't working as well as they had thought.
Still, for that brief moment, there was just that small glimmer of… something.
When they returned to the Division house and handed in their reports, the high numbers were briefly questioned but didn't go much further than that. She was almost certain someone would have brought them up but Captain Mayuri gave a brief grumble and that was it. Levels like those would have to be accompanied by a sighting in order for it to be reported and everyone said they didn't see anything out on the streets… Maybe it had been just a fluke.
Why did she feel so disappointed that she didn't get to see him?
Why was she expecting so much from him?
It left her conflicted and raw on the inside… What did she want from him?
When Isane asked if she wanted to drop by the Fourth Division barracks to hang out for a little bit, she declined the offer. As much as she enjoyed company from time to time, she wasn't really in the mood for it right now… not to mention the woman would only want to ask her how the mission went, and she didn't want to talk about it. She was almost certain she wouldn't be able to hide her sense of disappointment; perhaps it would be okay since most people couldn't read her emotions anyways, or maybe even her lack thereof. It was passed off that she had some last-minute reports to do and would be busy the rest of the day, but if she had more time tomorrow, then they could get together.
Maybe by tomorrow she would feel better.
Captain Mayuri was running experiments for the rest of the day, so she wasn't allowed to be in or even near the labs… which didn't leave her with all too many options. After spending a majority of the day in the human world, she could use a good shower… just to clear her head.
And yet, the cold water that rained down over her seemed to do the exact opposite of that. Fingers pushed through her black strands as she felt the water weigh them down into straight locks that touched at the curve of her lower back; hands curved over the back of her neck as she felt her muscles already start aching again. Even at this point, she felt odd in her own skin, knowing she was sharing it with someone else.
A few more weeks had passed since the initial report.
Was it thirteen weeks now?
She didn't know, most of the time had been spent being unconscious in some kind of comatose-like sleep. It was pretty obvious though… it had taken her some time to notice the changes, but now that she did, they were impossible to ignore. Her breasts were a little sore and in the past few weeks, they had certainly broken a seam or two in her uniform before she had it resized. There was a small pop of her stomach as it created just a small rounded shape outwards, barely noticeable underneath her obi sash but underneath the rain of water from the showerhead… it was all she could see.
But inside of her, tiny little eyes were developing while bones and the skull were solidifying; the ribcage would be soon to follow. Vocal cords and the larynx were nearing completion and the intestinal system was right where it was anatomically supposed to be.
And with every passing week, the offspring would become more and more developed until she represented the perfect combination everyone was looking forward to. Until she would become something they all wanted to examine and research, until there were novels of books and studies written about her; she would probably even go on display once or twice for the show of it.
It's disgusting…
She caught herself thinking long before she could stop herself… and yet the words seemed to match perfectly with the given mood. She wasn't anything but a host to this new being… that was the scientific look at it, the scientific description of a parasite. But willing to fight that explanation was how medicine looked at the process as a delicate cycle in life, in which case only the female body had the strength to create and carry a being like this. They were always at each other's necks though, weren't they? Science and Medicine could find no middle ground with one another and always went for the other's throat, willing to sink into a vulnerable theory or statement.
But which side did she want to stand on? What side did she find herself connecting the most with?
More importantly, would she even be given a choice on the matter of it?
No, perhaps not.
But the illusion of it was decent though…
The warm contact of his lips against her skin made the different vertebra of her spine shudder as he followed seemingly invisible trails that marked over her body. Numb fingertips pressed against the back of his neck, feeling the oddity of his flesh where black ink spoiled the flawless design of his form; hands cupped against his muscles and felt how they gingerly flexed at the tease of her touch.
It was an odd, strange embrace that brought them here…
A strange and odd obsession that pushed them to this empty brink.
And yet, the pulsating friction of his body moving against her own was becoming unbearable to dispute… in that empty, once animated mind of hers, all she think of was the rush of chemicals that were causing this reaction. He was the only one to come this close to touching her like this, or at least the only one who showed interest in doing so. His fingertips were cruel but forgiving as they bore heavy marks against her, reminding her again and again of his presence that she could never forget.
The movement of his lips shifting to claim her own repeated the same experiments they had done so many times moments before; the silk taste of his tongue against her own stirred up emotions and nerves she didn't think existed. Even as eager as the embrace seemed with a touch of roughness, he knew what to do and gladly took her with him into this messed up escapade of sweat and sheets. Sometimes it felt like those lips were crushing her own, but she wanted that kind of touch… she wanted to test the pure, raw reaction from them. It was a like a test to see how much of her own body she knew, and he was making her fail again and again with every new embrace.
Fingers brushed through pink strands and tangled themselves in the soft locks, knowing well this kind of contact would never occur again. She wanted to memorize every detail there was to him… she wanted to know every contour, every flaw, every inch that was to his form…
The brief separate for air was clouded by broken gasps as their lungs cried out for more oxygen and less euphoria. Green eyes broke loose from staring at the inside of her eyelids and looked up into the amber ones that hovered above her. The would be awkwardness of his hollow-piece, framed glasses did little to deter them and she barely even noticed their presence most of the time. And yet, he still took the brief moment to push them up to settle more comfortably against the bridge of his nose. That one little act that had helped to draw her in to him in the first place still held its affect on her now.
Fingertips moved to brush against the solid frames, feeling the tight grooves that decorated the edges of them. He barely reacted to the motion before he brought his lips back against her own.
"Am I just a specimen to you?"
His voice was low, just a little bit husky and yet his words rolled out smoothly against her. Fingers moved to touch at the curve of his jawline and for a moment, she swore she felt his lips tremble.
"Am I just a victim to you?"
Her return question failed to give him the answer he so desired and yet he didn't appear the least bit put off by it. If anything, it sparked a small fire of interest and curiosity in those eyes of his… the strange and rare amber shade flared up to match his mood.
"Would both our answers be yes?"
Tracing the soft shape of his lower lip once more, she dared herself to move just an inch closer to him; feeling that familiar warmth of contact all over again. And when she spoke, her lips moved with his own… it was like he already knew the answer she was going to give before it left her, or perhaps it was just her lips guiding his into the simple syllable.
"Yes."