Disclaimer: Delirium and all it's characters belong to Lauren Oliver
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Lena POV Now
I was taken aback by her question but, then again I haven't talked to her as Lena for the past ten years nor has Hana talked to me as Hana. Instead, I talk to her as Magdalena Haloway-Sheathes, and she talks to me as Mrs. Hardgrove (AN:Is that how you spell it?) widow of the mayor of Portland now paired with Daniel Thomas another high political figure and, she is still cured.
"Fine," I say in a tone that matches her causality, "How is Daniel?" I ask politely. I hate this. I hate talking to Hana like this. Like everything is fine and nothing has happened in the past ten years. Like we are just two strangers who know nothing about each other; that we didn't spend an entire childhood together, laughing at secrets that only we knew, going running whenever we got the chance to making up rewards to help us get through the pain into the pleasure. The same thing I did when I thought Alex was dead. Hatred, pure dark hatred encroaches on me threatening to kill any light in my life. I am not sure who I am mad at me, Hana, or the rest of society. Why didn't Hana uncured herself? Why did she have to turn Alex and me in? Why didn't she save Fred all those years ago? Why am I still worrying about her? Why didn't our friendship survive this? Was it because I always said our friendship would never last? Yes, What could I have done differently? How dare this society make lovers into fighters? How dare we have to hate to love? Then, I remember Hana's word from before all this madness happened. When I was just in-between and Hana was my Hana: You can't be happy unless your unhappy too. I ball my hands into fists and took a deep breath and, watched Gracie look at me. Her eyes are as wide as the moon but shining like stars with worry. She recognizes Hana and doesn't know what to do. She does not know what happened to Hana and me all those years ago but, she knows it was bad. Then, she told me about the food I remember that day so clearly.
Lena POV Then
"Mom," I said in a clear but obviously tired voice but, content voice, "This is Grace." My mother smiles she like everyone else was covered in sweat and grim and blood. Like a plant trying to break free of the dirt to rise up into the sky to feel the sun on its leaves. Mine and Gracie's hands are now bloody because of tearing and fighting the wall, she is now a rebel to. I will protect her from as many of the things I can of this harsh life. She will not kill she will be safe and have a happy life full of love.
Then, my stomach feels as if someone has put a boulder in it and decided to shake me and at any moment it would explode. We will be like Raven and Blue, I realize.
"Hey, Gracie you must be hungry why don't you find some food for the two of us, I'll be right here and after words we can talk." I say nodding to the line of rations. She senses my change in mood and nods.
I turn to my mother, "How is Raven?" I ask though I know the answer I can't bring myself to believe it until I hear it.
My mother shakes her head sympathy in her eyes, "I'm sorry Lena, Raven is dead." Those words tear my world apart like Alex did all those, what feels like, years ago with his t-shirt, ripping away strip by strip until all you have left is a bunch of tatter cloths
Or, bandages.
Because that is what we do in the Wilds we break and then take the shards and scraps and build them into something useful, something functional. I will file her death and everything else that happened today for the night. I still have Grace to take care of today and, she needs answers.
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