He knew coming back to the States probably wasn't a good idea… it's not until he arrives at the memorial ceremony that he realizes how fucked up he really is…he's not ready to face anything that reminds him of his former life…not the families he will see…not the pictures of the faces of those that he had lost… thankfully the ceremony is short…he tries to act how a normal person would in this situation…he hugs their wives…gives their sons a pat on the head…tells them how sorry he is for their loss…that they were the real heroes that day…but only he knows the truth…that it's because of him…that they are not alive today…as he kneels below their framed faces…he silently prays to them…tells them how sorry he is…that he wishes that it was him that was being mourned today… he feels claustrophobic...excuses himself…he sits in his truck…all he wants is a drink…he drives back to his motel…there's a bottle of whiskey there… when he gets back to his room…he chugs the bottle of dry…and feels at peace when he finally blacks out.
He saw her…she was as clear as day…she sat on a park bench…a stroller next to her…every so often she would lean down…check to see if her daughter was still sleeping…she smiles….she looks happy…and beautiful…always beautiful…how different his life could have been…if only he had been sitting there next to her…but she wouldn't even know him now…six months ago…someone else awoke from that bed…the Quinn she knew before he left….that Quinn was still in Syria…still kneeling in that hell hole with his hands tied behind his back…his eyes flicker open…it's too bright…he covers them with his arm…when his eyes finally start to adjust he looks around him…the clock on the nightstand blinks 9:30 AM…he's glad he woke up…the last thing he needed was the thoughts of her to cloud his judgment…there was one target he still needed to eliminate…and then maybe…he would feel better… he smiles to himself…gets out of bed…walks over to the closet…pushes his clothes on the hangers to one side…he bends down to the safe in the back corner…enters the combination he had set earlier…coming back to the States probably wasn't a good idea…the shiny metal of the gun gleams back at him…as if to say…it's been a longtime friend.