Chapter 2 - Chihiro

Seven years ago, both of them had been children. Chihiro was young in years, Haku, young in experience. They had viewed the world simply, unburdened by adult complexities, and had loved each other the way only children could.

Zeniba watched them grow up as much as her magic allowed. She had spelled the hair tie to join and to protect. Using it, Zeniba could find Chihiro wherever she went in the world. Zeniba and Haku watched as Chihiro settled into her new school. She did not remember her experiences in the Spirit World. The Gate had done its job, and had locked her memories away as she had walked through it. Still, she blossomed into a cheerful and confident little girl. In her new home and at her new school, she worked hard and seemed happy enough, though it was clear she found it difficult to make friends. Things seemed normal. Then one day, when she was twelve, the spell stopped working. Or perhaps she had simply taken off the hair tie. Everything was dark. It was as if she'd disappeared off the face of the earth.

After that, there was no reason for Haku to live at Swamp Bottom any longer. His outer injuries had healed. As for heartbreak and grief, there was no telling how long it would take. Zeniba urged Haku to go back to the palace and family he no longer remembered, and the King had been overjoyed. Under Nihonkai's guidance, Haku quickly regained many of the years he had lost, though as a river spirit without a river, the powers that were a dragon's birthright remained elusive. The child was still not quite whole.

The shutters rattled. The door opened, and Haku entered. He was taller than he had been the last time Zeniba had seen him. His hair had grown out about his shoulders as befitted a young prince. His face, still pale, had lost some of its roundness. His olive-green eyes echoed with grief, though he didn't know it.

Child? Zeniba thought. They are no longer children. And by the time this ordeal is over, they will be fully adult.

Haku was afraid. For five years he'd dreamt of her, the Chihiro that he knew. He had told Tenryu that she had no doubt changed, and in his mind he knew that she had. A lot happened between twelve and eighteen. But still he hoped he would know her. He even hoped, irrationally, that she would know him.

He walked into the living room. Zeniba greeted him warmly, and he replied with his own greeting. She continued to talk but in Haku's attention had been completely taken up by the magical window hanging in the air above the table. Zeniba must've scanned the entire town to find her, he thought.

At first, Haku was afraid there had been a mistake. The window was dark. Then a screen lit up in the room beyond the window, illuminating a dozen adolescent humans piled onto couches and a low table covered with food and bottles and glasses of drink. One girl stood, microphone in hand, her swaying figure silhouetted by the bright screen. Words crawled across the picture below the image of two lovers. The others laughed. There was no sound, but Haku could almost smell the alcohol on her breath.

Zeniba came to stand behind him. With a gesture, the view shifted to the faces of the young men and women sitting and standing around the couches, illuminated by the light from the screen. Haku cried out. The faces were blinding white and there were glittering voids were the eyes should be.

He looked closer. The girls had painted their faces and were improbably dressed, some in cloth that was transparent in the harsh light of the screen, others in spiked and garishly colored stomach-baring tops. In the twilight, they looked like mannequins. Chihiro can't possibly be among them, Haku thought. He tried desperately to find a girl that stood out from the others.

The window moved toward the face of one of the female mannequins. She was holding a half-empty glass in one hand and was laughing and shouting with the rest. She had short dark hair, waved to look windblown and gelled to the nines, with a blond streak on one side. Her face filled the magical window as her green-tipped fingers raised her glass to her darkened lips, and there she was. Behind the exaggerated plastic eyelashes, those big brown eyes were Chihiro's eyes.

Haku held his breath as he stared at the image. What did the human world do to her? Then Zeniba's words from minutes ago finally registered.

"What did you say?" he said.

"It's possible," Zeniba said. "The worlds are still connected in some secret places. I've known for some time now, but I didn't want to get your hopes up, Haku."

"Get my hopes up!" Haku exclaimed. It's possible to cross the border? "You should have told me. Do you know the despair… I had completely given up seeing her again…"

"It would've been a far crueler thing to tell you," Zeniba said sternly. "The information was useless as long as we couldn't find her. You time was well spent reuniting with your family and your responsibilities. But now, it is time."

"Now?" Haku said, taken aback. I can see Chihiro now? The image of that china face with its painted cheeks and lips, inhuman eyelashes, and stiff bobbed hair filled his mind. Except for the eyes. He had recognized those eyes. Maybe he would recognize other things. "Tell me how."

"Watch carefully."

He felt Zeniba place a hand on his arm and pushed the troubling thoughts away, leaving the excitement bubbling under his skin in its place. The vision of a spring appeared in his mind. Through the eyes of a fish, he sank beneath the surface and against the current deeper and deeper into the source of the spring. The tunnel around him narrowed until he squeezed through a small hole in the rock, and then like an hourglass it widened dramatically. The vision rose until it broke the surface of the water on the other side. Haku was incredulous. He had recognized the spring as the one behind Zeniba's house. Passage had been hidden beneath the swamp this whole time!

"Do you see where it is?" Zeniba asked.

"Yes," Haku said.

"Good. Before you go, remember, she won't recognize you or anything else about her time here. Moreover, the spell uses pain to train humans to avoid anything that triggers those memories. Fear, hatred and ignorance of the Spirit World spreads on the other side as a result, which I'm certain he intended. The charm I placed on her hair tie sealed her memories into the realm of dreams when she passed through the Gate, away from her consciousness. They should be safe, if dormant. Without the charm's protection, her memories can be dangerous. Be careful."

Zeniba beckoned, and led Haku through the house and out the paneled back doors into the swamp.

Haku emerged from the lake on the human side of the barrier, exhausted. The current had been stronger than the vision had led him to believe, and he had swum against it for hours. The sky on the human side was grey with the false dawn. Haku pulled himself into a clump of bushes and fell into an uneasy sleep.

Sunrise woke him. It was the wrong color, and the edges of the sun were soft, as if he was looking through a piece of glass or the wall of the palace. Haku shuddered and sat up. The air felt thicker. He looked at the surface of the lake and frowned. The water rippled. The ground was trembling. Is there a territory dispute between the local spirits? Haku wondered. Who could it be? The guardian of the lake? Then he realized he had heard no consciousness in the lake water since he had emerged. He shook his head and put the thought out of his mind.

The smell of human musk led him uphill through the woods, away from the acrid fumes of the road, until he could see a row of houses beyond the trees. He watched groups of children pass, younger ones and older ones. And then there she was, walking with a group of girls all wearing the same t-shirts and pleated skirts - no doubt a uniform of some kind. He quickly stepped behind a tree to avoid being seen. Her face was no longer as round as he remembered; the delicate skin hugged the cheekbones more tightly now, but it was still familiar. Her face was shockingly pale, her eyelids and eyelashes a deep blue whenever she blinked, and her lips were flamboyantly red. It was as if someone had replaced her face with a flesh-colored canvas, and then had painted the features back on. She wore her hair in a bob that hung to her chin. One rose-gold lock peeked out from beneath her bangs by one ear.

Some young men turned a corner into the street. The two groups merged. A few couples moved to the periphery of the group and began to kiss loudly. Haku withdrew his gaze in disgust. His eyes fell back on Chihiro, who was bantering with a taller boy while smacking on a piece of gum. He said something Haku didn't catch, puffing his chest out as he did. Chihiro smirked and rolled her eyes in response, and the group shrieked with laughter. The boy looked disgruntled.

Haku suppressed the fear that was welling up inside and inspected the boys' uniforms. Easy enough. He waved a hand over his white knee-length kimono. It now looked like a black jacket and tie over a white collared shirt, with black slacks. His face had lengthened in the last few years, but he was still recognizable. Still, he wanted to show Chihiro a face that was his own. With a sigh, he reached up and tied back his shoulder length hair.

When the next group of boys passed, he left the shelter of the trees and followed them at a distance to the school.

With the help of a little magic, he talked his way past the school administrators and into the classroom. The time he had spent at the bathhouse as a witch's apprentice had some use after all. He was disappointed to find that the boys and girls attended separate schools, but it wasn't long before he heard someone mention Chihiro's name.

Humans are so obvious, Haku thought. Do they realize they haven't filtered their odors? His nose was able to pick out every base emotion the boys emitted, by scent. It didn't take long for him to insert himself into the most influential group of young men, a gang led by Kane, the boy Chihiro had spoken with before school. They were too easy to read.

But by the end of the day, his sensitive nose and ears had been so overwhelmed that they felt numb. He longed to den up in a cave in clear, shallow water and wait for spring to come. He lagged behind as they left the schoolyard, cajoled into staying in the group by Kane.

And then there she was again, in the fenced lawn of the girls' school talking to the long-haired girl next to her. Haku's heart thumped against his ribcage.

The salty metallic smell of human females filled his nose as the girls swarmed out of the schoolyard. The air around them grew warm with the heat of so many bodies crowded together. Haku lost sight of Chihiro immediately. The girls all looked the same in their uniforms, with their faces hidden behind the boys' taller frames. He looked around. Kane had disappeared too. Everyone was talking at once. Warm bodies pressed in on every side. Haku imagined his senses frying.

Haku scanned the faces around him, trying to hold off the dizziness. He finally spotted Kane, leaning against the cast iron gate. He had his arm snaked around Chihiro's waist possessively and was whispering in her ear. She laughed and pushed his arm away playfully. Haku's heart sank. He began to wade through the sea of flesh toward her.

Chihiro's long-haired friend elbowed her as Haku approached, and she turned around. Haku saw her gaze explore his face curiously. He was almost a full head taller than she was, and she had to tilt her head to see his face at this close proximity. Haku looked from her long skinny legs showing below her short skirt to her lime green fingernails to her face, which was still painted, though not freakishly so. The air reeked of testosterone and sweat. He wanted to gag. He held his breath and bowed slightly. She blushed. "My name is Kohaku," he said. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

Chihiro's eyes widened. For a second he allowed himself to hope that maybe she recognized him. But then she bowed back, and when she straightened, the moment of uncertainty had passed.

"My name is Ogino," she said, raising her voice to be heard above the din. "Ogino Chihiro. Pleased to meet you." It was hard to concentrate on her words. The voices of the crowd battered at his ears. Her words replayed in his mind. Her voice was so formal, so polite. The blond lock of hair swayed in the wind. Where was she?

"Chihiro," Haku began to say. He couldn't bring himself to call her by her last name, after all she'd done for him, all they'd done together. He couldn't pretend that he didn't know her. It would make it real. After all the first time they had met she had, literally, fallen into him. If only he could explain, surely she would understand. Let me take you somewhere I can think straight. "I-"

Kane glared at Haku and interrupted. "Let's go, Chihiro," he said, and tried to pull her away. His body exuded the smell of adrenaline. Haku barely stopped himself from slapping Kane's hand away from Chihiro.

"Don't be a jerk, Kane. Let me talk to him," Chihiro protested.

Does she forgive my rudeness? Haku thought.

"Do you know him?" Kane demanded.

"I don't think so," Chihiro said thoughtfully. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, her voice jumped up an octave. "Nope, definitely not. But he's cute!" she teased. Her voice seared Haku's ears. He mentally grimaced. She flashed a smile toward Haku while looking at Kane.

Kane ignored this jibe. "Then he has no right to address you by your first name," Kane said. "Come on. We're going to my place tonight, remember?"

Place? His home? What is she doing there? Haku's thoughts swirled. He couldn't keep them coherent.

There was a slight hesitation - some subconscious thought passed, perhaps, like a cool breeze - but before Haku could do anything, Chihiro turned around and called out: "Yumi! Akari! Movie night at Kane's, let's go!"

A few of the girls and boys emerged from the crowd, bantering and chattering about home theaters and actors and clothes. Without the magnetism of the popular kids holding it together, the group dispersed in every direction. Haku was left standing there, shell shocked and ears ringing, looking in the direction that Chihiro had disappeared in. Her last words still echoed in his ears. She had not once looked back.

"Wow," a voice said dryly. Haku turned around and looked down. It was Chihiro's friend, the long-haired girl. She was in the same uniform that the others wore, and she was the same age as the others, but there was something different about her. Is it because she isn't wearing any make-up? Haku thought. But it seemed to be something more fundamental than that. Then Haku realized that the oppressive and musky smell of humans, which had nauseated him all day, was quickly diffusing. He looked at the girl in surprise. Who is she? And what is she doing here? She couldn't be human. A local spirit? Haku thought, but what would a spirit be doing at a high school?

"You really shook her," the girl commented, seemingly oblivious to Haku's surprise.

"What do you mean?" Haku asked.

"I mean Chihiro, of course," the girl said, nonchalant. "Don't think I didn't notice you staring at her that entire time. Her acting is usually better than it was today. I mean, did you hear her voice jump? What a mess."

"Acting?" Haku said.

The girl laughed happily. "I'm Shinkono Risuni," she said. She looked up and smiled a genuine smile at Haku. "You're new in town, aren't you? Shall I show you around?"

Haku leafed through the silk-bound copy of the Kojiki in astonishment. Someone had put a lot of time and magic into the volume he held in his hands. The technique was impeccable; the spell had been woven so that it lay dormant in the spine's binding, adding and revising to the tale written in the pages as the history played out. That girl, Risuni, knew about this? Haku thought.

There wasn't much to the small town that Chihiro lived in. Risuni had shown him around the parks, the small mall, and other public spaces, telling him stories as they went, and had ended her tour at the library. She had left him there and gone home. Haku's eyes had been drawn to the enchanted tome immediately.

The air in the library was cool and still. The human smell of the other patrons was diluted with the vanillin of old books. Haku felt the small hairs standing on his skin settle for the first time that day. He flipped back to the beginning of the book, to the creation story, to read the book properly.

Haku didn't know how long he'd been standing there when suddenly he heard Chihiro's voice moving towards him in the aisle. She was talking softly to herself.

"The beauty of a sharpened blade; thy shadow mirrors that sword point..."

Haku recognized those words, though he had not remembered them until the moment he had heard them. He joined in, singing softly. "Only the forest spirits know your heart concealed in sorrow and anger…" What else is concealed in my heart? Would the forest spirits know?

He heard her gasp and stop her recital. She came to his row and froze. She was still in her school uniform and make-up. There was something incongruous about her flamboyant appearance in the quiet atmosphere of the library.

"Um, hi," Chihiro stammered after a few seconds of silence. Her face flushed. "I didn't expect anyone else to be here. I heard you, uh, singing. What was that… I mean, sorry."

Haku stared at her, perplexed. "There's nothing to apologize for, Chihiro" he said. Belatedly, he remembered to bow. As far as she knew, they had met for the first time earlier that day. "May I help you with something?"

"Okay, I guess. I, uh, was actually looking for that." She pointed to the book in his hands. Her neck and ears were pink with heat.

Haku looked down at the book he still held held in his hands. She was looking for this? Does she realize what this is? He closed the book and handed it to her. "Have you read this?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, it's for my history paper…" She stared down at her shoes. She seemed embarrassed for some reason. There was none of the confident manner that she had embodied earlier that day.

"It's a very unusual anthology," Haku said. "I don't know if you realized that." Could she possibly remember? Could the Gate have had no effect on her?

She slowly opened the book to the first page of the creation story and looked up at him. He nodded slowly. He could see her pulse rising in the exposed artery in her neck. His own heart was pounding, and he wondered briefly if she could see it the way he could. He was afraid. She was so close to remembering, and so close to the war.

Maybe she caught his fear, because she gulped.

"There you are, Chihiro!" Risuni's head poked into the aisle, startling them both. "I should've known. Why didn't you pick up your phone? I only called you, oh I don't know, eight million times," Then she saw that Kohaku was standing there with Chihiro. "Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting something? I'll leave you guys to it. Don't mind me." She grinned at Chihiro, eyes twinkling merrily.

Chihiro glared back. "It's not like that," she protested.

Haku looked from Risuni to Chihiro. Their expressions seemed to be saying something in a secret language, one unreadable to Haku. "That's not necessary," he said. "I was just about to leave. It was nice seeing you both." He bowed to them, and left. Risuni turned to watch him go, winking and smiling at him once her back was to Chihiro. She had known Chihiro would be there, Haku realized. She arranged this meeting.

As he left he heard her say to Chihiro: "It's getting late, so I'll let you off the hook today, but you are telling me everything when you come over tomorrow."

The smile slipped off Haku's face as the door of the library closed behind him. Beneath his feet, the ground was trembling again.

The water streamed down Haku's sides as he emerged from the spring. The water seemed to flee from his hair and clothes as he transformed, scales melting away into skin and cloth. He trudged toward the house and slid open the paper-screen doors. He had stayed here for a year after he left the bathhouse, and after he had left Zeniba had kept the bedroom furnished for him. He could hear her bustling around beyond the closed door that led to the rest of the house - night was when spirits were up and about - but he was too tired for conversation. The exhaustion from crossing the borders between the worlds in this way had drained him, but was minor still compared to a day in the presence of human teenagers. His ears felt raw from the stimulation of so many voices.

You'd think that after the bathhouse… How do humans deal with… And to think that it was in the spring all that time… His mind jumped from thought to thought, but many of them were left trailing off. His weariness was deep, and left him without the energy to follow the trains of thought to their conclusions.

He lay on the bed, staring up into the darkness of the ceiling. In his human form, the ceiling disappeared into the darkness, except where shreds of moonlight illuminated it. He could almost pretend he was looking down into the deep. What is it like to be instead of just to see? Where is the part of me which is still missing? And he thought of Chihiro, whose voice had rung out without effort but others ran to obey; whose face and smile radiated confidence and detachment; who held herself like royalty and need notice no one. And then there was the other Chihiro, the one who was shy, who knew the songs of seven hundred years ago, even if the tunes had been lost. The one who was a child. And the other girl, the one who wasn't human... She said Chihiro was acting. But why? And which Chihiro is the real one? He meant to think about it more, but the day had been overwhelming, and soon the darkness of the room faded behind the darkness of his eyelids, and he fell asleep.

Zeniba saw Haku rise from the spring and stagger into the house, and she sighed. She couldn't speak to the swamp water like the dragons could, but she had been out there every day for centuries, and her senses told her that things were still not right. She had built her house here when she realized that the worlds were still connected here beneath the rock, and at first she had thought that the wrongness in the swamp was because the lake was polluted on the human side. But the small silver fish that used this point to cross the border told her it wasn't so. They told her that it was because the lake was dead. For a long time she could not understand how this was so - the lake existed and things lived in it, so how can it be dead? - but its spirit had never awakened. And she saw that the problem was more widespread than Swamp Bottom. There were many such "dead" places.

And then, seven years ago, Haku showed up at her door. Rivers had been destroyed by humans before. The spirits of those rivers had died. Haku survived. He seemed to have no memories of his past and only the most rudimentary of a dragon's magic, but he was alive.

Zeniba had hoped that the spring would adopt Haku as its spirit, and that it would heal him in the process. Haku had been reluctant, but had also wanted to please her, and so for the year and a half that he had stayed with her, she had watched him go out there every night to sit in the waters, letting his magic flow out over the surface. Nothing had ever come of it. There was some kind of barrier that prevented Haku from fusing with the spring. Even so, he's grown up, she thought. Of all of Nihonkai's sons, he has the most potential. Even now.

A fleet shadow suddenly darted across the face of the moon, catching her attention. Then another, and another. It looked like a flock of swan geese migrating in a V, but it was the wrong time of year. Something is wrong, she thought, and almost immediately, one of the goose spirits faltered and dropped. Four of the others dove to help their sister, and then flew back up to the flock, supporting the injured goose with their backs and necks. They flew on out of sight, toward Aburaya.