A List of 97 Things I, Zac Efron, Must Not Do

I must not give out Ashley's phone number to obsessed Ashley fans

Even if they pay me to do so

I may not tell people that Ashley is a lesbian

I may not hide in my bathroom when she comes after me for doing so

I must not let Ashley put me in make up

Even if it brings out my eyes

I may not dare Ashley and Vanessa to kiss when playing truth or dare

I may not take a picture of them doing so

I may not jump out my window to keep said picture

I may not scream when I see the two in my hospital room afterwards

I may not put the picture online under the name Lady Love

I may not skip shooting of HSM to hide from said ladies

I may not go to my parents and tell them I got Ashley pregnant

Or Vanessa

Or any other female that comes to mind

I may not call Ashley's parents pretending to be a doctor and tricking them into thinking she is pregnant

I may not do this for Vanessa, Brenda, or any other female for that matter

I may not tell Ashley, that Lucas loves her

Even though I think it's true

I may not tell Lucas that Ashley is in love with him

Even though Lucas would finally be happy

I must not go to Corbin's house at three am and throw basketballs at his window

I must not go to any of my female co-stars and quote Shakespeare after throwing things at their windows at two am

I must not scream bloody murder, when they throw sharp things out the window at me

I may not give Vanessa a picture of me for her birthday

Even if she likes me to do so

I may not send her pictures of me and some random girl just to piss her off

I may not get angry when she curses me out for doing so

I may not tell people I am related to Elvis Presley

Even if I do a good Elvis impression

I may not call Chris (Zeke) at four am and tell him that Ashley wants to marry him

I may not call anyone before noon during weekdays to prank call them

I am not to send Ashley a picture of Lucas in Speedos

I am not to tell people that I took a picture of Lucas in Speedos

I am not to tell Lucas that I took of a picture of him in Speedos

I am not to take pictures of people when they are not looking

I am not to put the pictures of the girls on my walls

Even if the girls look really, really, REALLY, hot

I am not to bring cameras near pools

I am not to bring cameras any where

I am not to come within twenty feet of Ashley with a camera unless she has gone through wardrobe

Same for Vanessa

And Lucas

I am not to wear tights and call myself freaky call back boy

I am not to take pictures of myself doing so

I am not to send pictures of myself to people

I am not to call that a Zac exclusive

I am not to scream when I see it on websites, and in magazines

I may not kiss Ashley in front of Vanessa to see Van's reaction

I may not say Ashley taste likes the first kind of food that comes to mind

I must tell Ashley why I just randomly kissed her

I must beg her not to sue me for being insane

I must not plead insanity in court

I may not call Jessica Alba and invite her to private party for Ashley

I may not invite Ashley to said party

I may not throw parties for just me and cute celebrities who won't just come over and hang out

I may not dress as a clown and scare little kids

I may not scare Corbin by doing a girly laugh while I look like a clown

I may not paint Corbin's nails while he is sleeping

I may not try to cut off his hair

I may not cry when he punches me for doing so

I may not sing commercial jingles during shooting

I may not sing theme songs during this time either

I may not sing either one of those in public

Or in private unless it is just me

I may not record myself singing cereal jingles

I may not send anyone videos of me dancing to My Humps

Or Buttons

I may not stare at the TV when Vanessa's Come Back To Me video comes on

I may not ask Vanessa to perform the song for me with the dance in private

I may not dare Vanessa, Ashley, or any other female for that matter to give me a lap dance

Even if they want to

I may not walk around at midnight singing Stacy's Mom at the top of my lungs

I may not dance as I do so

I may not claim I am drunk

I may not drink

I may not drink alone, in public, and especially not with Ashley

I may not get Ashley drunk to watch her go crazy

I may not get Ashley drunk then tell her to go swimming

I may not call Lucas and tell him he has a once in a life time chance to make out with Ashley

I may not laugh when Lucas comes dressed up

I may not laugh as he takes off his fancy dress shirt and dives in the water to save the drowning Ashley

I may not laugh when Kenny comes and sees Lucas and Ashley kissing on the ground

I may not laugh when Kenny takes out his cell and takes pictures

I may not send the pictures I take to everyone on my cell phone

I may not laugh when Ashley wakes up in my house sleeping with a piece of fried chicken

I must not laugh at what her crazy guesses are for why she is over my house

I may not call the police and alert them of a murder when she finds out what happened last night

I may not tell the police the truth

I may not call Kenny at six am to bail me out of jail for lying to an officer and under-aged drinking

Even though I wasn't drinking

I am not king of England

I am no tell people I am

I am not to shred this list

I am not to burn, rip, destroy, tear, eat, boil, braise, barbeque, flambe, sauté, or bake this list

I am not to do any of the things on the list ever again, ok maybe numbers 1 through 93

I may not redo and or change this list

Signed Zac Efron

So what did you guys think of the list Zac must never do again, and truth be told some of the things on this list were actually done by Zac, but I can't tell you which ones. I'll leave your imaginations to guess which ones Zac has actually done, and no he does not have a picture of Lucas in Speedos.