The truth is, neither our love for the person, nor their love for us, nor our memories, are in the possession. The love is in us, and so are the memories. Letting go of the possession doesn't mean we lose the love or the memories.

"Leo Babauta"

Tell me, what's right, when you give up,

Throw away precious memories, you let them go,

Out of hurt, you're resigned and your bite is venomous,

And you let it go, you let it drop.

To the ground with a clatter, it's useless to you,

Because you've lost faith...in me.

And the person you see,

Isn't the person you see,

It's no longer sentimental...

Sam never mentioned the amulet to Dean and Dean never said a word about it.

Sam kept it close in a place that it would never get lost, it would never disappear or leave his sight because it remained a constant weight against his chest, always reminding him that it was there and not in the grimy trash can back in some cheap motel. Sometimes, when he was asleep, he would get plagued by nightmares that were so surreal and vivid that he would find himself locked in their depths as they sunk their sharp claws right into his mind. They kept him in their grasp as he re-lived one of his worse moments. Some would call him a girl if they knew that dream involved a certain amulet being thrown away. What they would never understand was how a piece of Sam was also tossed out along with it.

The nightmare always started the same way. Him and Dean would be back in the so called 'heaven' one moment and be standing in the motel the next. Sam would stand there with a baited breath as he watched so many emotions flicker across Dean's usual controlled and calm expression, his shoulders tense with barely controlled anger. Time seemed to move slower as his brothers extended hand, his fingers holding onto the black cord, allowed the amulet to fall, dangling over the trash for agonizing seconds.

'Dean, please.' Sam would silently plead even though Dean couldn't hear him and even if he could he doubted it would have done much good seeing how his brother's mind was filled with hurt and betrayal, hurt and betrayal to a heaven, Sam's heaven, that wasn't even a heaven to begin with.

Sam's most precise, his most memorable memories were of him and Dean. It wasn't with a family that wasn't his own even if it was a happy memory it certainly was not one of his fondest. He couldn't understand why Dean couldn't see that.

The amulet seemed to fall in slow motion the moment Dean let go and the light of the room would bounce off the metal making it glint and Sam watched. He just kept watching until its image faded in thin air. Everything went black and Sam was falling back but before he woke up, before he bolted up out of bed with sweat glistening over his forehead, his heart pounding unnaturally out of rhythm, Dean's cold voice penetrated the dark and it was loud and harsh.

Sorry, Sam but I don't believe in you...

I don't believe.

His brother didn't say them out loud and he didn't need to for the small thud from the metal hitting solid bottom was words spoken unsaid. They hurt worse than a full force punch and cut through his soul like a sharp knife. Dean didn't need to say anything. Actions speak louder than words, at least that small action spoke higher volumes and no word could hurt worse than that.

Sam would wake with a start as he yelled 'no', frantically trying to grab the amulet as it fell but it always vanished. His fingers never brushed up against the material, he never felt its touch because it disappeared before he could even grasp it and Dean' words were always the last he heard and pitch black was always the last thing he saw before his eyes snapped open and he was sitting up in the bed. His chest would heave as he breathed hard and deep as if he ran a marathon.

His first instinct was to touch his chest for some kind of comfort because he would always feel the amulet right there around his neck and it calmed him. Although Dean tossed it away it wasn't left in the grimy apartment in a dirty trash can simply because Sam refused to leave it there. It was something irreplaceable. Dean may be angry for a while but eventually he believed his brother would regret throwing it out and maybe, just maybe, he would want it back where it belonged. Around Dean's neck where it should be.

Sam ran a tired hand through his long locks of brown hair. He was sitting up in his bed clutching the necklace in his hand. He was shaking only slightly but it was enough to make it noticeable. He took a deep breath to calm his erratic beating chest.

He glanced to the bed closest to the door where his brother was peacefully sleeping. Dean's face was turned towards him. His features were smoothed out, his mouth agape, and snoring lightly, laying on his stomach. Dean's arms were crossed underneath the pillow. It was an action Dean always did for easy access to his gun that laid untouched until it was needed.

Sam laid back down. He stared up at the ceiling. His mind was anything but silent, filled with endless thoughts as he pondered. Would Dean even miss the amulet? Would he even want it back? As it is, his brother already seemed to forget about it, when it was all Sam could think about.

He glanced back at Dean's bed when he heard a low snort. Dean had turned his head to the other side.

Sam never mentioned the amulet...

Cant you see, I'm bleeding, my hearts tattered,

I see no light, I'm thrown into a dark abyss of nothing,

Because you don't believe in me,

Your faith fell because you believe,

In what you think you see,

Actions hurt worse than words,

Because they speak loud and I'm a listening,

My brother, i'm sorry, forgive me,

For I don't see...

Why you believe so little, in me.

A/N- Okay guys so ill be starting on the story 'Fighting Darkness'! Most of you guys wanted to see that one first! But I have two more chapters to go on this one.