Hey guys. Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed the first chapter of this story! I appreciate it so much. I apologize for the delay in getting Chapter 2 up. I was busy getting my ass kicked by the end of the semester. But here you go. I'll get the next one up ASAP, and please feel free to review and let me know what you think! Happy holidays to everyone celebrating.
Delphine spends the rest of Postmodern worrying about Cosima, both because of her clear exhaustion levels and because of the ominous text that sent her flying from the room. She thinks about texting her to see if she's okay but stops, reminding herself that they only exchanged numbers for class and school purposes. As day turns into night, Delphine even contemplates stopping by the club to check on the brunette. She scolds herself for this and, ultimately, decides against it. Unable to stop her mind from dwelling on her concern for Cosima, Delphine spends her dinner with Paul and a few hours of homework sufficiently distracted.
At 11 o'clock, Delphine is unable to stop herself from sending a simple text, figuring that Cosima probably won't see it since she's at work. But the brunette's response comes almost immediately.
Delphine: Hey, are you ok?
Cosima: Totes fine, gorgeous. Thanks for checking on me.
Delphine smiles at her phone, something she's only ever made fun of other people for doing.
Delphine: You sure? I could come by the club to cheer you up.
Cosima: Didn't make it into work.
A few seconds pass before Cosima's next text comes through.
Cosima: Tomorrow night? We'll be busy, but you can keep me company if you want.
Delphine: I'll be there. Get some sleep, mon amie.
Delphine doesn't even think about it before she sends that last text. Regardless of what Cosima says, Delphine knows she's stressed. While she can't really imagine what else the brunette has on her plate in addition to her already busy schedule of school and work, she knows there's something. She needs to see Cosima before next week, if only to confirm that she really is okay and isn't working herself silly. The level of protection and concern she's feeling for her new friend does not go unnoticed by Delphine. While it is true that she is protective of people she loves, she's never felt this deep of a need to make sure a friend is okay after knowing them for so short a time.
Delphine plans to get to the club early the next night, and she plans to go alone. Only one of those plans works out. Paul insists on taking her out to dinner and a movie, and she acquiesces, staying out with him until almost midnight. When he drops her off at her apartment, she tells him she's really tired and just wants to go to sleep, stopping his already heavy advances in their tracks. She rushes inside to change her clothes and freshen up, putting on a fully sleeved, lacy, navy blue dress that, again, shows off her legs really well. Her heels are black, and she touches up her makeup, calling herself a fool the entire time. Paul isn't even going out with her this time, so there's no reason she should be trying to look good or impress anyone. But on the inside, she is hoping to see the same look in Cosima's eyes that she saw last week.
Cosima has been busy all night, the Friday night crowd getting started earlier than usual. Tonight she has both Felix and another bartender, Cal, helping her out. Cal is wildly popular with the ladies, so a lot of them wait to be served by him, probably entertaining some hopeless thoughts about hooking up with a happily married man. Cosima is thankful to have another set of hands behind the bar, and as the clock hits half past midnight, the bar slows down a bit. Most people are dancing, and every few minutes some people will wander up for fresh drinks. Cosima is handing a beer to a woman when she spots Delphine walking towards the bar, and it's like she's never seen her before. Her eyes linger everywhere they have before, and she is almost overwhelmed with how much this woman affects her. She wonders briefly if she should continue forming a friendship with Delphine, knowing that eventually she'll fuck it up by pressing past harmless flirtations. But just as fast, Cosima pushes this thought out, her body taking full control as she leans against the bar where Delphine is approaching, eyes locking with the blonde's.
Delphine is pleased. All of the touching up and time she spent picking a dress suddenly feels worth it as she watches Cosima checking her out. It's wrong, and she shouldn't like it, but she does. Before she knows it, she's doing the same thing, albeit less obviously, appreciating Cosima's figure in her tribal looking crop top and dark skirt, eyes lingering on her stomach and breasts. Cosima does look like she got a little more sleep last night, though her eyes still express a dull exhaustion.
"No Paul?" Cosima asks in greeting, craning her neck to look behind Delphine.
Delphine shakes her head. "I wanted to come alone to keep you company."
Cosima smiles and responds, "I'm not complaining. It's good to see you. It's been a long day."
Delphine sits at the bar and leans forward, resting the side of her head in her palm with her elbow on the bar. "Oui? I am sorry. You can sleep in tomorrow, non?"
"I wish," Cosima responds. "I'll probably leave here at 3 or 4, and I have to go to a soccer game at 8."
Before Delphine can respond, the petite blonde that she recognizes as Shay draws up right next to her and leans towards Cosima. She leans to kiss the brunette on the cheek and whisper in her ear, and Cosima starts making her a drink.
"How's Julian doing?" Shay asks, looking totally innocent and beautiful and nice as far as Delphine can tell, which she wishes wasn't true.
Delphine watches Cosima, a little smile appearing on her face as she puts a lime in the drink. She slides it into Shay's hands and says, "Ah, he's doing okay. He's tough. Once he got through the x-rays and got some pain medicine, he was just excited to pick a color for his cast." She chuckles.
Shay laughs as well, picking up her drink and taking a small sip. "Well give him a hug for me."
Cosima smiles in response as Shay walks away. Suddenly Cosima is very nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers and seeking something to keep her hands busy. So she asks Delphine, "Sex on the beach?"
"Sure," is the response she gets from the blonde. Delphine watches Cosima as she mixes her drink, contemplating whether or not to ask the question that's on her mind. Ultimately, she waits until Cosima slides her drink to her and asks curiously, "Who's Julian?"
Cosima's heart rate picks up, but she smiles. She's proud of Julian. She's just gotten used to the judgmental reactions from many people when they find out about him. Cosima doesn't generally try to hide him. He is her complete joy. She just doesn't want to see the look she thinks she will on Delphine's face. Certainly if Delphine finds out the whole story about who Cosima used to be, she'll run for the hills. Cosima takes a deep breath and returns to her previous position leaning against the bar in front of Delphine after making sure no other customers are trying to get her attention. "He's my son," Cosima finally says. She watches Delphine's face, expecting to see judgment or dramatic surprise.
Delphine only smiles. This time, she's the one who reaches across the bar, placing her hand on Cosima's forearm to try to communicate that she doesn't have to be nervous. "How old is he?" Delphine asks with what appears to be a genuinely interested smile. This would certainly contribute to Cosima's exhaustion, and though it's not what Delphine expected, her urge to get to know this woman better hasn't diminished.
Cosima smiles when she feels Delphine's hand on her arm, her body warming and her nerves dissipating with the simple gesture. "He's four," Cosima responds, launching into a long ramble. "I was seventeen and totally not ready for a baby, but I really wouldn't change anything. He's the most amazing person ever. I have so much fun with him. He is a huge ball of energy though. Uh, yesterday the text I got in class was from Shay. She works at his daycare, and apparently another little boy pushed him off the top of the slide when he was about to go down, and he fell and broke his arm. I was sufficiently freaked out. He's never gotten hurt that bad before. But uh, like I said, he's doing okay now. He keeps saying he wants me to draw some cool pictures on his cast for him." Cosima chuckles, nerves still present even if they have eased up a bit.
Delphine laughs and absentmindedly rubs her thumb back and forth on Cosima's arm. "Poor little guy," she says. "I'm glad he is okay."
Swallowing at the feeling of the blonde's thumb moving on her arm, Cosima smiles. "But yeah, that's why I have to be up early. He's on a youth soccer team, and he's wicked good. Of course he can't really play with his arm in a cast, but I kind of coach his team so we still have to be there."
Delphine shakes her head and sips her drink. "You know, you are really incredible, Cosima."
"Nah," the brunette brushes off, looking down. "I'm just trying to do my best and get through school and support my guy. I want everything for him."
"Do your parents help you a lot?" Delphine asks.
Spotting a customer walking up to the bar, Cosima doesn't miss an opportunity to evade that question, pulling her arm away from Delphine and whispering, "Ah, a tale for another time. I'll be right back."
A couple of hours later, Delphine is still seated at the bar, only having gotten up a couple times to go to the bathroom since she's consumed several drinks. Things have been busy, but another lull rolls around, and Cosima heads back towards Delphine. The two have gotten to chat a lot in the last couple hours, Cosima telling more stories about Julian and Delphine asking only surface questions. What color did he pick for his cast? What stories does he like to read? Truthfully, she's interested in anything Cosima wants to tell her, but she doesn't want to push for any details she's not willing or able to share. Also, it's ridiculously adorable how much Cosima's face lights up each time she talks about her son.
When Cosima reaches Delphine again, she brings a cup of water for her and feels an urge to apologize, as has been a habit of hers for most of her life. "Sorry if I'm talking too much about Julian. I'm not trying to monopolize the conversation or anything. People our age usually get annoyed when I talk about him too much, so I don't want to make that mistake with you."
Delphine shakes her head. She's feeling a good buzz from the alcohol she's had, but she's definitely not drunk. She accepts the water and takes a big sip. "I am not at all annoyed, Cosima. I am just really impressed with how much you're juggling, and I think it's adorable that you want to talk about him." She pauses and takes another long sip. "But I am curious. Did you ever play soccer? You said you coach his team."
Cosima smiles, believing that Delphine hasn't minded her kid talk and relieved by that belief. Then she's nodding her head. "Yeah, I played all my life actually, until I got pregnant."
"I bet you were fast," Delphine finds herself saying, resting her chin in her hand and leaning closer to Cosima, eyes sparkling.
There is a sultry undertone in Delphine's voice that immediately makes Cosima's throat go dry and propels her body forward. There's nothing about their conversation that should be making her feel so hot. "Still am," Cosima whispers.
Delphine laughs, feeling both silly and very overheated.
The remainder of the night is a bit of a blur for Delphine. She knows she must have had more drinks, and she remembers talking more about soccer and then being in Cosima's car and then at her own apartment and then a strange new apartment. She tries to remember more as she wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, but her head is pounding and she's still a little groggy since it's only been a few hours since she crashed. It is hard to keep her eyes open, so she closes them. A few minutes later, she hears a whisper, and her eyes snap open.
With his good arm and his cast crossed on the edge of the bed, Julian Niehaus stares at the strange lady in his mother's bed. When she opens her eyes, he jumps. Then he smiles, the same megawatt smile she's seen on Cosima's face so many times recently. His hair is dark brown and shaggy, eyes a deep blue color. He's dressed in a green soccer uniform. "Are you my mom's new friend?" he whispers again.
Delphine blinks and, after several seconds, realizes that this must be Cosima's son. Though her head is pounding, she smiles back, aware that the boy's smile is just as infectious as his mom's. "Yes, I am her new friend. My name is Delphine," she whispers back.
"I'm Julian Charles Niehaus. It's nice to meet you," Julian responds, still whispering.
Chuckling a little, Delphine whispers, "Nice to meet you, too, Julian."
Cosima walks into the room with her brow furrowed, and she whispers as well. "Julian, come in here and eat your breakfast. I told you not to wake Delphine or Uncle Felix." Cosima's already dressed for the day, but she looks different than Delphine's ever seen her, dressed to coach in soccer shorts and a green t-shirt that declares her coach of the Dinos.
Julian whispers a goodbye and follows his mom out of the room, sitting down at the table to eat his cereal.
Cosima returns to her bedroom a minute later with a glass of water and some Aspirin. She sets them on the nightstand and looks at Delphine, who she thinks looks adorable having just woken up. The blonde's hair is all messed up in the best way. "Hey, sorry about that. Take this medicine, drink some water, and get some more sleep. We have to leave for the game soon, but we'll be back in, like, an hour."
Delphine sits up in the bed, wiping her eyes. She reaches for the water and takes the pills and several more sips before speaking. "How did I end up sleeping here?" she asks.
"Ah, yeah well you were pretty drunk when we were leaving the club, and I didn't think it would be safe for you to drive. I got your address out of you and took you home, but then you started crying and said you wanted to have a sleepover and come to the soccer game. So you got some clothes, and we came here. I didn't want to upset you anymore. I slept on the couch," Cosima explains.
"The game!" Delphine exclaims, as if she's just remembering it even though there are clues all around her. "When do you have to leave?"
"In about thirty minutes."
Delphine drinks more water and says, "Can I go?"
Exactly twenty-nine minutes later, Delphine comes out of Cosima's bathroom, having showered and dressed in the jeans and t-shirt she'd grabbed at her apartment sometime in the middle of the night. "One minute to spare," she says, glancing at her watch as she enters the living room.
Cosima and Julian are both on the couch, and Beetlejuice is playing on the television. Suddenly "Day O" begins, and Julian is on his feet, saying the words and dancing. Cosima laughs and stands as well, walking over to Delphine. "I'm impressed," she whispers, keeping her eyes on her son's amusing dance.
Delphine smiles, also watching Julian. Then she looks at Cosima. "Well I know I look terrible, but how could I miss an opportunity to see you coaching a bunch of three and four year olds?"
Cosima turns her head to Delphine, deliberately looking at her whole body and then making eye contact with the blonde. "You look gorgeous. You always do."
They maintain eye contact for several seconds, and then Cosima feels her arm being tugged. "Mom, come on! We have to go. It's 7:30. We're gonna be late."
"Okay, okay," Cosima responds. She turns the television off and glances at Delphine with an amused smile. "He keeps me in line."
Julian turns to Delphine as well and cups his hand around his mouth like he's telling her a secret. "Mommy's always late."
They get there on time, Cosima leading them over to the small team bench on the edge of the very tiny soccer field. The goals are also tiny. Julian sits down on the edge of the bench. "You can sit with me, Delphine," he says, grabbing the blonde's hand and pulling her to sit next to him. "I can't play today cause I broke my arm." He holds up his cast. "I got green to match our soccer jerseys. Last week I scored two goals."
Delphine looks utterly amused, and Cosima mouths a "sorry" to her, which is waved off. While Delphine listens intently to Julian tell the story of breaking his arm, she sends several glances towards Cosima, who is unsuccessfully trying to wrangle the kids over to the bench. #3 is hungry and wants her mom to get her a snack or she'll refuse to play. #8 and #5 are running around the middle of the field in dizzying circles. Only #6 obediently joins Julian on the bench.
Finally, Cosima is able to get all the kids over to the bench, and they start the game against the red team.
The combination of Julian commentating the game and Cosima coaching is truly astounding. The little boy is both amusing and heartwarming. He says his mom is the best coach because she's the nicest and also brings the best after-game snacks.
Cosima is also both amusing and endearing. When the kids kick the ball out of bounds and try to keep running with it, she blows a whistle and says, "Red light!" Upon hearing this, the kids immediately stop in their tracks and wait for Cosima or the red coach to retrieve the ball. Cosima high fives the kids when they score or assist or do nothing at all, regardless of which team they're on. At one point, #5 kicks the ball a few feet and then picks it up and starts running towards the goal. Cosima laughs and blows her whistle. "Red light, Grayson. Can't use your hands, remember, buddy?"
"He always does that," Julian whispers to Delphine, who laughs. Later he says, "How do you know my mom?"
"I go to school with her," Delphine responds.
Julian nods. "Mommy's very smart. One day maybe she'll write a book and get rich. Then we can have a house with a pool and a soccer field and a dog." He takes a quick breath. "Hey, do you wanna sign my cast when we get home? Mommy's gonna draw me a dinosaur and a Frankenstein and a soccer ball."
Delphine has the best time. She is amazed by Julian's energy level and laughs when he rambles and abruptly changes topics, thinking how very alike he is to Cosima. Delphine still feels slightly crazy, going to the club last night, drinking, and demanding she be able to come to the soccer game. She's still embarrassed about the crying, but she can't bring herself to regret any of those actions or her lack of sleep. She loves seeing all the sides of Cosima: student, bartender, coach. She wonders how many other sides there are and if she'll ever get to see them all. She wants to.
"You are welcome to stay however long. Just let me know when to take you to your car," Cosima says as they walk into her apartment. "I don't want you to think I'm holding you hostage or anything. Saturdays are usually pretty kid-focused around here."
"Well I can't miss signing Julian's cast," Delphine responds, smiling big at Cosima.
For the next little bit, Cosima decorates Julian's cast. Everything she draws looks amazing, and when Delphine receives the sharpie she doesn't dare to write anything but her name.
The day is kid-focused indeed, but Delphine can't bring herself to leave. Ultimately, she decides to just have Cosima bring her to her car when she goes to work in the evening. They watch the rest of Beetlejuice, and then they play Go Fish and put together a shark puzzle. She comments to Delphine, "He'd watch TV all day if I'd let him, but I really try to limit that." Julian reads to Delphine from a children's book. He says most of his friends can't read yet, but they'll get there, and that his mom just wanted to teach him early. They play Operation, and Delphine is quickly introduced to Felix when he leaves for the club in the afternoon. They eat lunch and dinner together and spend some time outside at the apartment complex's playground. There are many things Julian can't do with his arm, and Cosima tells him not to run too fast and to be very careful. Most of the time, he just runs back and forth on the swinging bridge. Then they go to the humane society, a weekly trip for the Niehaus family, and Julian picks out the dogs he would get if he was allowed to have a dog.
Delphine meets someone called Scott, who she would have met the night before had she been sober, when he comes over to look after Julian, something he regularly does when the brunette has to work in the evenings. Scott doesn't mind being up and driving home at late hours, and Julian seems to love him. He has Scott sign his cast.
When they get to the club's nearly empty parking lot, Cosima, dressed in yet another flattering dress, walks Delphine over to her car. "Thanks for hanging out with us today," she says with a smile, twirling her rings around her fingers. "I know it was probably pretty lame for you, but we had fun. Julian really likes you."
"Not lame at all," Delphine assures her, leaning against the driver side door. "I had fun, too. He seems like such a great kid, Cosima. I don't know how you do it all." When the brunette starts shaking her head, Delphine grabs one of her hands and continues, "No, seriously. You are amazing. You should be proud of yourself." She smiles. "I feel very fortunate to be your new friend, as Julian called me."
Cosima laughs and blushes. "Thanks, Delphine."
Still holding one of Cosima's hands, Delphine leans forward and kisses each of the brunette's cheeks, lingering for a couple seconds longer than she intended. "Bye, Cosima. I'll see you in class."
Cosima is able to mutter a response but is mostly frozen as the blonde gets in her car and drives away, her mind still stuck in the moment when those lips were pressed against her cheeks. Logically, she knows it's a European thing and not something she should dwell on. But it felt like so much more.
The last twenty-four hours had gone by so quickly, and Cosima doesn't know what to make of it. Seeing Delphine accept her son and be willing to spend time with him was shocking and delightful, simply because so few people in her life had been willing to do so. But another part of her, the simultaneously hopeful and hopeless part, also feels more attracted to Delphine than she's ever been to anyone after seeing her interactions with Julian. It's not that she's the first one to take an interest in him; it's something else. Shay, who has consistently expressed interest in forming a relationship with Cosima, is great with Julian. But Delphine is different.
Cosima spends the first half of her night behind the bar dwelling on all the things she likes about Delphine and the second half berating herself for getting so caught up in a woman, especially one who is committed to someone else. By the end of the night, she knows she needs a distraction.
After closing the bar, Cosima goes home with Shay. The two have been friends since Julian started daycare, and they've made out many times, Shay always instigating flirtations and trying to push the boundaries. Cosima always stops it before it goes too far, not wanting to give Shay the wrong idea. The brunette, while she loves Shay in a way, does not want to be in a relationship with her. She makes that clear again to the blonde before agreeing to go home with her. When Cosima thinks Shay understands that this is just a one-time thing, no feelings whatsoever, she fucks her, releasing all of her pent-up frustrations. She leaves right after, rushing home to relieve Scott, shower, and try to sleep a little before Julian wakes up.
A couple of hours later, after making Julian's breakfast for him, Cosima lays in bed while he eats right outside her bedroom door at the table. She grabs her phone, checking it for the first time since the middle of the night. When she sees the text waiting for her, she rubs her eyes and mutters, "Fuck."
Shay: That was amazing, baby. Can't wait to do it again.
Cosima doesn't respond to Shay, instead typing a new message to Delphine, who she misses after less than twenty-four hours apart.
Cosima: Work sucks without you :(
Delphine: Guess I'll have to spend more time there, huh? ;)
Cosima smiles, responding and trying to focus on her new friendship with Delphine and not the one she has potentially ruined with Shay. Once the day gets started, there's no time to worry about either. She juggles homework and spending time with Julian, completely ignoring her phone for the rest of the day and missing the rest of the texts and missed calls from Shay. When she finally does see them, she still doesn't respond.
Cosima and Delphine barely talk in class on Tuesday, since the former somehow manages to be late to both classes. That night, a slow one at the club, Delphine shows up and sits at the bar reading Mark Twain's Pudd'nhead Wilson for Realism when the two aren't talking. Cosima is pleasantly surprised to see her there until she sees Shay approaching the bar.
"Fuck," Cosima mutters, looking down at the bar and closing her eyes momentarily.
"What?" Delphine asks, looking up from Pudd'nhead.
"You have some fucking nerve," Shay says angrily as she reaches the bar, standing just a few inches away from Delphine.
Cosima opens her eyes and looks at Shay apologetically. "Shay, please just lis-"
"Oh, now you want me to listen? You've been ignoring my calls and texts for three fucking days, and now you have something to say?" Shay scoffs. "No, Cosima. How about you listen? You know how I feel about you. You've always known. And up until now, I've been fine putting up with just flirting and kissing and not having anything real. I don't need a relationship. But Jesus Christ, Cosima. The least you could do after three years of friendship is respond to me or acknowledge my existence after fucking me. It's common fucking decency."
Cosima reaches for Shay's hand on the bar, but the blonde jerks it away. "Shay, I know I fucked up," she says. "I am so, so sorry for ignoring your texts and calls. I just freaked out, and then I got busy, and I'm really sorry. That was shitty of me." Cosima is painfully aware that Delphine is listening to this, but it's somehow not affecting her words. Shay is a really good friend, and regardless of what's happened she doesn't want to lose her. "Look, I told you the other night that I didn't want it to mean anything and that it was a one-time thing, okay? That doesn't excuse my ignoring you, but that hasn't changed. Your messages were very relationship-y, and I didn't know how to respond. You know how weird I am about that shit." Cosima takes a deep breath. "That doesn't change that I've been a shit friend the last few days, and I'm sorry. I should have responded to you, and it'll never happen again, okay? Please forgive me."
Shay still isn't happy, but she's softened. She offers her hand to Cosima, who takes it. "You're not off the hook yet," Shay mutters.
Cosima gives her a soft, apologetic smile. "I know I'm not. I'll make it up to you, I swear."
When Shay is gone, Cosima's face turns red, and she says to Delphine, "I'm really sorry you had to witness that." She clears her throat as she wipes down the bar. "If you think I'm a terrible person now, I totally understand."
Delphine's eyes are still wide from the interaction she just watched, but she manages to shake her head. "I do not think you are a terrible person, Cosima." A few minutes later, after Cosima serves some customers, Delphine says, "So you two…" She trails off.
Cosima rests her head in her hands with her elbows on the bar in front of Delphine. "I fucked up. I let things go too far, and I shouldn't have. And then I freaked out. I love Shay, but not…like that." She shakes her head inside her hands, and for a second it looks like she'll cry. "I was just having a bad night, and I wanted to feel good, but now I'm the asshole."
"Everybody makes mistakes, Cosima," Delphine says. She wants to comfort her friend, so she pushes the feelings of something similar to jealousy to the back of her mind. It can't actually be jealousy because she's with Paul, and she's only ever been with men, but it feels the same. "You are not a bad person."
Cosima looks at her with a small smile. "You barely know me."
Delphine smiles. "But I can already tell that."
"I should know by now that doing something just because it feels good at the time doesn't work for me." Cosima stands up straight and pushes her glasses up. "I should have gone straight home to Julian. I was being selfish."
Delphine places her hand on Cosima's arm on the bar. "It's okay to do something for yourself every now and then, Cosima. Maybe it won't always be the right thing, but you deserve to be selfish sometimes. Being a mom doesn't mean you give up who you are or what you want."
Cosima leans closer, placing her hand over Delphine's on her arm.
"So what do you want?" Delphine whispers, unsure why her voice sounds so breathy all of a sudden.
Before Cosima can answer, they are interrupted by Paul's deep voice coming from behind Delphine.
"What the hell is this?"