Welcome to the horde!
This was a great day for young war Chief Thrall, with the city of Orgrimmar finally built; he could make officials the creation of the horde. Of course, he would include his own people, the orcs, but he also wanted to hold a little ceremony to officially accept his new allies as well as any other race who would want to be part of it.
Sitting on his throne, Thrall saw the leaders lined up and first in line was his good friend Cairn Bloodhoof of the taurens.
"Well young chief…you have saved my people from the centaurs, we fought side by side with you against the demons and we have grown to like and respect the way of your people. In the name of my whole race, I say the taurens would be honored to be part of the horde."
"Welcome to the horde!" Thrall exclaimed with a rather childish enthusiasm. He pointed Cairn a spot next to his throne and invited him to stand there while he received the others.
Next in line was Vol'jin of the darkspear trolls.
"Hello mon, me people tha jungle trolls woulda been killed by tha sea witch if orcs had not helped us. Me wanna ask ya for all trolls who came to Kalimdor with ya mon, can darkspear tribe join da horde?"
"Of course, welcome to the horde!" Thrall said in the same tone of an overexcited child making new friends. He waved at Vol'jin to stand right next to the huge tauren leader. The two of them eyed each other and Thrall for a while, both finding that this Thrall was very different from the one they had followed in wartime.
The next representative to enter the throne room was a little goblin, Gazlowe, the leader of the goblins who had helped build Orgrimmar.
"Hey big guy…hum, this is kind of awkward, you paid us to build this city and we did, but now we think there is still profit to be made so hum…can we like, stay in durotar?"
"Welcome to the horde!" beamed Thrall for the third time.
"Wait, I don't think you got my drift here, we're goblin, we don't do the whole war with the alliance, worship the spirit, strength and honor thing, we want to stay here because there is money to be made, not because we believe in your high ideology or we want to have you as leader…We just want to, you know, hang around, do trade, earn gold…" Gazlowe explained, trying to talk his way out of his hasty inclusion in the horde.
Thrall posed for a minute, as if considering what the goblin had just said.
"Welcome to the horde!" he finally concluded, greeting him to a spot next to Cairn and Vol'Jin.
The goblin seemed awestruck by the sheer incoherence of the war chief's reaction, he walked up next to the troll and the tauren and as soon as Thrall's head was turned away, he made a spinning motion with his finger near his head, indicating that he was severely putting the young orc's mental health in doubt. Cairn and Vol'Jin only eyed Thrall with worry; they too were starting to think the goblin's hypothesis was right.
It was only when the next candidate to the whole, join the horde party entered that the three newly nominated horde members really started to fear for Thrall's sanity, mainly because he didn't rip them to pieces on sight.
The hooded woman was clearly undead, though she obviously had once been elf and had red glowing eyes and pale skin. That Thrall let her come in without swift and vindictive Doomhammer induced destruction still passed, she did seem smarter than the average mindless undead, but what surprised the tauren, troll and goblin was that the leader of he horde greeted with the same foolish smile the towering Nathrezim dreadlord who walked right behind her.
"War chief Thrall, I am Sylvanas Windrunner, formerly leader of the high elves sentinels of Quel'Thalas, who murdered a good number of your people during the second war but that his not the point, the thing is, I died at the hand of the scourge and was raised as an undead. When the lich king's power diminished in the aftermath of the recent war, me and a few of my fellow undead were freed from the lich king's control and formed our personal undead faction, the forsaken. As leader of the forsaken, I've come to offer an alliance against the scourge…now I know the new scourge has nothing to do with the demon controlled one and that Durotar is clearly not at war with Arthas, in fact, the only demon you'll find controlling undeads these day is my butler here, Varimathras. Still, we were wondering if you would take a bunch of treacherous, back stabbing, spiritually dead, walking corpses led by a former alliance leader advised by one of the only still living dreadlord within your rank in order to wage war on a guy that's recently done absolutely nothing to you and might very well have the power to destroy your hard built nation if you mess with him." Sylvannas explained her point.
Thrall's brow frowned a little; he seemed to be in deep reflection, but the three spectators and the honor guards were expecting him to be barely containing his fury as such wicked and evil creatures would dare ask to be part of the noble and proud orcish horde. Anytime now, he would vanquish them both with his hammer and shamanistic powers…
"Welcome to the horde!" he finally explained in the same, now painfully cheerful tone.
Gazlowe's jaw dropped almost to the ground, Vol'Jin, who had been standing ready to attack when he saw his leader move dropped to the ground, failing to cope with Thrall overwhelming naivety and Cairn simply shook his massive head, having concluded that the young orc had clearly lost his mind.
And as he had done before, he invited Sylvannas and her demonic butler to join the rank of the other gathered leader. The goblin took a few small sidestep when the dreadlord came standing next to him.
And it wasn't over yet, it seemed there was another racial leader who wanted his people to joint the horde. The stranger came in, dressed in red and black with ears similar to Sylvannas and immediately started pleading his point. Cairn growled at the newcomer for him, unlike the others, reeked of corrupting arcane magic from head to toe.
"Great war chief, my people, the high elves who murders a countless number of orcs" he turned to Vol'Jin "and trolls during the second war were decimated, as Sylvannas already told you and the survivors have taken the name of blood elves. I am their leaders, Kael'Thas Sunstrider and was wondering if my people of arcane addicted, demon energy siphoning, power hungry elves, who by the way recently raided what was left of the orc homewolrd and kill/enslaved what was left of them there under the leadership of an half-demon half-night elf sorcerer assisted by hateful snake folks, the naga, could joint your horde…cause we sort of need allies and the alliance, for reason beyond my comprehension, will not take us back in." explained the blood elf prince.
There was going to be some carnage after all, it was common knowledge that arcane magic was what almost doomed the first horde and it was obvious that no one was foolish enough to do the same near fatal mistake twice, these arcane addicted psychos would not be in the horde, or so Cairn though…
"Welcome to the horde!" said Thrall at the end of Kael's speech.
At this point, Cairn realized that maybe, just maybe he had just made a big mistake, had he really enlisted his people to serve a guy who was stupid enough to take two of the most dangerous and treacherous faction of Azeroth in his nation? Looking at Vol'Jin, he saw that the old troll and the goblin were both thinking the same thing: "How the fuck did this moron ended up being the leader?"
(Morale of this story: Thrall his stupid and takes just about everyone who asks nicely in the horde, hell how did you think the undead and blood elves got in?)