Shhhh…I really shouldn't be doing this while I'm supposed to be typing an essay, but, hey, who needs three hours for a five paragraph essay? Not me! So, enjoy. And hope I don't get busted typing this.

Disclaimer: lemme check...nope, still don't own Harry Potter. Darnit.

Snape appeared several hundred feet from his house, just outside the range of the wards about his house, just in time to see a dog walking away from the spot. Sure enough, he was standing in poo.

Serenity giggled.

Cursing the dog, which had run out of sight, Snape stomped down the sidewalk to his house, his right shoe squelching unpleasantly. He made his way up the walk and kicked the ruined shoe off, the house elves would get rid of it later.

In his arms the baby girl stirred, and her pale face scrunched up in a wailing cry. Alarmed, Snape hurried to the living room and laid her on the sofa.

That dog wasn't the only one doing its business that day.

Snape pointed at an old copy of the Daily Prophet, transfiguring it into a diaper for the baby, changed her, somehow managed to get that powder stuff onto her-and all over him as well-and lifted her again.

She giggled, and then kept crying.

Deciding she was hungry, Snape took her to the kitchen, and having nothing more suitable for a baby, opened a can of applesauce, which he attempted to feed her.

In the end, there was more on his robes than in her belly. The baby seemed to delight in slapping the spoon at the last moment, covering both of them in applesauce. She giggled, pointed at him and cried "dirty!"

"Thanks for the observation." Said Snape dryly. He lifted her again and carried her upstairs to the bathroom, where he debated on EXACTLY he was going to clean them both up. Absently, he turned on the faucets to start a bath. Serenity lurched from his grip, causing him to grapple to keep hold of her, and knocked his shampoo bottle-which he rarely used-into the tub.

As Snape groped to find the bottle in the tub, young Serenity climbed to the edge, grabbed on and stood up.

"Bath!" She announced proudly.

Snape, now covered with dog poo, applesauce, baby powder, and shampoo, blinked at her.

"Bath!" She insisted, looking from him to the tub.

Seeing no other alternative and no harm in it, Snape removed his robes and hers-she didn't like that much-and climbed into the tub with Serenity on his lap. When the water was around her belly he shut off the taps so the water did not get too deep. Serenity splashed about happily.

"Who knew a little thing like you could make such a big mess?" Snape said as he washed the grime from himself.

"Bath!" Serenity announced again.

"I'm surprised you even know that word. It was Pettigrew watching you before, after all." Snape snickered. "Alright, your turn." Snape washed her face and hair, careful of getting soap in her eyes. Once he was satisfied that she was clean, he allowed her to splash about for a few more minutes before removing her from the tub and drying her off. He left her small black robe in the hamper, and walked back to his room.

Serenity yawned sleepily, and placed her head on his shoulder. Snape suppressed a smile as he pulled on a clean robe, then selected another, blue, and shrank it for her, pulling it over her head.

Her eyes dropped and she leaned against him. Snape lifted her and carried her to a room near his, pointing his wand at the large winged armchair and changing it into a crib. He lay her down and covered her with a light white blanket-previously his father's lamp-and stood to walk out of the room.

"Goodnight Da." Whispered the girl.

Snape froze, unable to comprehend what he had heard. "No little one, I am not your daddy. I am Severus."

The girl blinked at him. "Daddy go 'way. Da stay...Da stay..." and she was asleep. There was no arguing with her now.

Softly, Snape closed the door and left the smile, a small smile on his face.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

By the next morning, Lucius Malfoy almost wished he had stayed at the Potter house.

"YOU DID WHAT!" Narcissa screeched at her husband, "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THE GIRL WITH SEVERUS? EH WOULDN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT A BABY!"

Lucius winced as his wife raved. "Now Narcissa, be reasonable. How could we pass off a dark haired child as mine? Malfoy's have always been blonde."

"YOU ARE A COMPLETE IMBECILE! I WILL MARCH OVER THERE MYSELF AND BRING HER BACK IF I HAVE TO!" Narcissa stalked to the fireplace, and grabbed for the floo powder before Lucius could stop her.

"Snape Mansion!" She announced as she stepped into the fire, Lucius hurrying behind.

Snape looked up from his work as Narcissa stepped from the fireplace in his study.

"Where is the child!" Demanded Narcissa.

"Asleep." Said Snape coldly, "and I will have to ask you to lower your voice before you wake her."

Not two seconds later, a wail was heard.

Snape sighed and stood, walking down the hall with the Malfoys behind him. Serenity stood in her crib, arms outstretched to be picked up, while she cried. "DA! DA!"

Snape lifted her, while the Malfoys stood open-mouthed behind him.

"What in the world did you do to the room!" Exclaimed Lucius, who had never seen a room in Snape manor that was clean and well-lit.

"You let her call you DA! Severus how could you!" Shrieked Narcissa.

Severus shrugged while he patted Serenity's back to quiet her and looked around the room. "She insisted on calling me Da. Who am I to say no? And as for the room...I couldn't sleep last night."

The room which had previously been his father's study had changed overnight. The drab grey walls were now painted white, the study oak desk and side chair now a changing table and rocking chair. The black curtain had been changed to pink, some of his more useless books and ugly paintings to various toys and a few diapers. The gray carpeting was now pink also, and two robes, pink and yellow, hung in a now white wardrobe that used to hold books.

Snape shook his head. "I can only transfigure so much. I'll have to take her shopping today." Snape turned from them to change her diaper, smirking to himself at their expressions.

"Now then dear, I told you there was nothing to worry about. Now come on darling, Draco will be waking soon." Said Lucius, pulling his reluctant wife from the room.

Once they were gone Snape looked down at the girl. "We don't need help, now do we? He gave you to me to take care of, and that's exactly what I'll do little one. Nobody is going to hurt you, not on my watch." He tickled her tummy and made her smile and giggle, before picking her up and heading downstairs to make another attempt at breakfast.

- - - - - - - - -

There you go, chapter two! R&R! It tempts me to avoid homework and write instead.