Future Plans

A/N: Edited.

Chapter II: The Sasuke Retrieval Team Redux

XXX

"Umm...are you positive about this, Tsunade-dono?"

"Questioning my motives, Kakashi? That's queer. Since when did you get upgraded into such a position to do so? Last I recalled, you were one of my faithful Jonin; you don't ask questions, you only follow directions."

Confused beyond reason, Kakashi took his gaze away from the dossier in his hands and pleadingly stared up at his superior officer, his one visible eye lowering in an attempt to win sympathy. "Alright then. Tsunade-dono...permission to speak freely?"

It was tough, struggling not to laugh as one of her more lovable Jonin squirmed before her desk. The light streaming in from the window behind her was subdued and after a tiring day of nothing but redundant paperwork she needed a little cool-down time, and wouldn't you know it there was a little problem that needed fixing.

She wanted to laugh at his fidgeting but kept it professional. "Of course, Kakashi. Thoughts?"

"Yes, many. For one, I think this is downright crazy," spoke Kakashi. He glanced at the report one last time before stowing it in his back pocket, resigned to his fate, and instead pulled out a familiar orange book. "I know you have a truckload of work to do but really now, bullying? I have enough on my plate without you adding to it, Tsunade-dono."

Now a smile graced Tsunade's porcelain face. She leaned back in her chair and eyed the Jonin. He always did impress her with his profound thought process—but then again, you didn't get into the bingo books of nearly every major village by power alone. "Fairly played, Kakashi. Recite the name back to me, won't you?"

There wasn't a need for Kakashi to pull the slip back out; he'd never forget a name like that, giving what it implied and the trouble it certainly promised to bring.

"Crowa. No middle or last name."

"Correct. You may feel free to further the name if you wish, I daresay the child will be in need of some dire nurturing," explained Tsunade and from a drawer under her desk she unearthed a thick manila folder, one fit to bursting with files and sticky notes upon other sticky notes. "This behemoth of a file is just for one of those from Moon-X, most presently your new charge." She let it fall to the desk and the sheer weight of it caused the room to quake with a loud THAM!

The situation would have been comical to Kakashi if not for the fact that all of this—this seismic upturn of events—were made possible by the fact that his protégé were dead. Only two months had passed and already every major village in existence seem to hear the details, how the Uchiha and Nine-Tails supposedly clashed for one final time ending with a gruesome death.

Like a bad trip, Kakashi was thrown back to racing through the outskirts of the Konoha border, trying his hardest to get to his students before they took things too far. Pakkun was literally barking out courses, led by his nose, and, as he was sitting atop Kakashi's head, constantly pulled the Jonin's hair in the right direction.

"Pak! I get it—I know where you're leading me!" he shouted through his sodden facemask, now worried both for his students and the possibility of being snatched bald. And it was true, the trail he was streaking over like lightning was indeed familiar, hauntingly familiar in that both Naruto and Sasuke would have their fight over the same grounds where he and Obito usually sparred.

"Yeah…except we weren't trying to kill each other!" growled Kakashi and the fury that rolled from him temporary sideswiped Pakkun's senses so much that the dog whimpered. "Those idiots…."

"Tsunade-dono…don't you think it's a bit early for a replacement? I know we live in a world of uncertainty but considering who…who passed, I think this calls for a tender approach," offered Kakashi, his gaze never once leaving the novel in his hand. As a matter of fact, despite the conversation, he began to slouch against the entry door, one foot up in a relaxed manner.

Now this was interesting, and Tsunade remained silent for a few seconds, merely studying him. In all honesty, she figured Kakashi would be in shambles over the loss of his protégé but so far, outside of a few heartfelt words at the boy's funeral, he seemed completely at ease.

She had noticed a change in Naruto as well. Where once, that blonde-haired little ball of madness bounced all over the village pulling pranks and basically annoying the village to no end, he now kept mostly to himself. Oh sure, the pranks continued but instead of the juvenile water-bucket-atop-a-door trick, he had progressed into such cerebral pranks that Tsunade herself had been caught in them once or twice. She'd never tell a soul though, but enjoy a hearty laugh when others came complaining to her about it—that way she didn't feel quite so daft, caught in a teenagers trick.

Also, another unusual happening was that Naruto seemed to have found an invisible friend of sorts. Through the Third's crystal ball—whenever the blasted thing wanted to work for her—she would see him strolling through town having arguments with himself, cursing himself, or, most laughably, try to throw a punch at thin air. Maybe it was his way of coping with the longer distance now placed on him and the villagers since Sasuke's death. She didn't blame him for doing what he had to do but still, a mission was a mission and so he, Chouji, Kiba, Neji, and Shikamaru received a failing mark for it.

The order was to retrieve Sasuke. Not to kill him.

Conversely, the raven-haired boy's death had pushed Sakura into an abyss that she only now seemed to be slowly pulling herself out of. In the first month, she might as well have been a zombie, shambling along with a lifeless glaze to her once bright emerald eyes. She barely reacted to anything and showed neither joy, pain, sorrow, excitement; the girl had been reduced to a brick. And something about it greatly miffed Tsunade. She knew of Sasuke's immensely popular fanbase within most of the female kunoichi—hell, she had seen some of the older females making passes at the boy—but also knew he possessed a superiority complex longer than the pack of lies that led to the Sound village attacking Konoha. He treated everyone without rank as dirt, even the Hyuuga, and walked with his nose in the air.

This was by no means Tsunade's way of thinking 'the brat got what he had coming', but it explained the series of events that led up to his death. Caught up in the thirst for power, hating that Naruto seemed to be advancing fastest, actually willing to submit to one of the most dangerous S-ranked ninja's in the world…the list was long and bloody.

Point blank, if he treated you like the dirt under his shoe, why feel so downtrodden upon his death like a husband had been lost? Her mourning went well past the normal amount of grief.

It baffled her but, thank God, it wasn't her problem. As their sensei, it was Kakashi's. She smiled.

"You lose your precious student and you hardly shed a tear," she murmured softly, crossing her legs with an elegant flair. Even though she shared no romantic feelings for the silver-haired copycat, her coy side couldn't help but show itself when in his presence, especially when he paid more attention to that filthy book than her. The subject material was right in front of him for goodness sakes. "What's the logic behind that, Kakashi?"

As she knew he would, she saw his visible eye shoot up like a mouse for cheese, lingering on her thighs before slinking back to his book. "Do you really want to know? The truth might sound harsh, especially considering our relationship, and hurt feelings aren't my intent."

"Do I look like a politely confused genin trying to figure out why I failed the evaluation test, Kakashi? Or perhaps how you look when someone buys the last copy of Icha Icha right before you can?" she added with a twisted smirk when he flinched. "A person cannot become a Kage if they are tender in feelings," she finished with a haughty sniff. "Now, what is it?"

Almost as if Tsunade had not spoken, Kakashi continued to read his perverted book, actually going to so far as to lick his thumb and turn to the next page. "No, Hideki—don't fall for her plan! She's only using those luscious breasts of hers to get your fortune! Fight the temptation!" he exclaimed in mock-rapture, clutching the novel to within an inch of his face.

A vein throbbed to life in Tsunade's temple; her hand clenched over the desk and the magnitude of her chakra caused a crack to burst in the middle. "Kakashi—" she started angrily but the Jonin suddenly slammed his book closed, flinging it at her. It skidded neatly over the desktop, colliding with her chest with such force she felt her girls vibrate. "What the—?"

"I saw this coming the moment they assigned you to be Hokage, Tsunade-dono," interrupted Kakashi in a deadpan tone, approaching the desk to plant his hands palm-down over a stack of important looking documents, "and to be totally, truthfully honest…I think this was the best outcome."

For the first time in recent memory while sober, Tsunade was confused. Something like a cog in her brain knew what Kakashi was trying to say, but the gear was too rusted to turn properly, thus leaving her with a furrowed brow, gesturing with her hand for him to continue.

"When Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were assigned to be my charges, I felt a certain…chill. It wasn't quite the same as when a ghost runs its finger down your spine, but more like when a particularly cold chill rushes past." Holding up three fingers, Kakashi began counting off: "Naruto is the spitting image of a younger Jiraiya, he even has toad summons. Last month you took on Sakura as your own personal apprentice—and ever since, for reasons beyond me her strength has risen." He shook his head at that. "And that leaves Sasuke," continued Kakashi almost bitterly. "He was a great pupil, bursting with limitless potential that could have changed the face of the shinobi world as we know it…just like Orochimaru."

A flash of pure rage crossed Tsunade's beatific face and Kakashi gave a grim nod. "Sasuke had talent in spades and he squandered it all for the sake of revenge. I talked to him countless times, telling him that rage as dark as his would only lead to destruction," and now Kakashi stood up straight, hands in his pockets. "I had unconditional love for the kid—it was thanks to his family that I even lived to see past my thirteenth birthday."

He put a finger to his forehead. "There's a revenge plot brewing up here, Tsunade-dono, and when the copy-nin of lore gets going, no one can stop him," he said unabashedly. "Even though Sasuke had been corrupted…he was still my damn student. Letting it get this far is inexcusable and Naruto's taking the brunt for something I should've forestalled as their sensei. He was trying to stop Sasuke, not kill him…."

"I know that, Kakashi," agreed Tsunade quietly, and she eyed the spot where his hands had been. The surface was slightly charred, a testament to the feelings he refused to show.

"I'm not sure you do," remarked Kakashi, an indifferent glint settling into his onyx eye. "From what Naruto told me, the moment they clashed, Sasuke cancelled his jutsu and actually dove onto the rasengan. Furthermore, according to what Ibiki managed to get from interrogation, Sasuke came to his senses midway through and decided to end it there, not trusting himself enough to allow a second chance. That boy died a tragic death."

Those bitter words reverberated and a sudden chill invaded the office despite the rays of afternoon light flowing in. That much was true, if Naruto's word could be trusted. Tsunade remembered the gaunt look plastered over the blonde's face as he was dragged into the interrogation room fresh after the horror, how his legs were unable to support him. All the wounds adorning his frail body, all the caked on blood—she wanted to cry then; hell, thinking about it now caused her eyes to sting but there were more pressing matters.

"Crowa is your new charge as of today. He'll be arriving in Konoha tonight and tomorrow you'll spend the day introducing him to Naruto and Sakura. I've given her the week off so all of them could…bond." She used the word tersely, clearly doubting the success rate.

To that, Kakashi nodded militantly. "Trust me," he began, pulling out his book again, "I'm a master at forming teamwork. To quote Naruto, it's my ninja way. We'll pull together as a single mind and body or I'll kill them in the process."

"Spoken like a true cell leader," smiled Tsunade. While she smiled on the outside, she knew the moment Kakashi left that emergency bottle of sake under her desk would be making a surprise visit; that little trip down memory lane had opened tender wounds once again. "Alright then, that's all the tasks I have for you today. You're dis—"

The word barely left her lips when Kakashi reached forward, seemingly for her chest and she froze like a deer in the headlights; then his hand curved down, barely brushing the fabric of her shirt. He yanked open a random drawer and pulled out a mint bottle of sake. While he read the label to himself, Tsunade was struggling to speak, her lips floundering.

"Ah yes, Ginjo-Shu…now here's some quality brand sake. As expected of the Hokage," smirked Kakashi—well, his eye seemed to smile. "Go big or go home."

After jiggling the bottle and hearing that alluring 'slush' of liquid, he promptly left the room.

Once lost, Tsunade found herself as the door closed behind him. "HEY!" Her voice blared like a dragon's roar; the windows rattled dangerously. "IF YOU DON'T GET THAT SKINNY ASS BACK IN HERE—"

The door opened again and Kakashi reentered, sake in one hand and a chair in the other. After locking the door behind him, he took a seat in front of her and slammed the bottle down.

"I know as the Hokage you're staggeringly busy so allow me to save you for the rest of the afternoon." And without another word, he swept a good majority of her papers to the floor. "I have words from a certain blue-eyed blonde that may border on the line of lunacy. Supply the cups will you?"

Perhaps it was the fact that even with the mask on, Kakashi was strikingly handsome; perhaps it was due to the fact that the subject matter concerned Naruto; and then, perhaps it was the turn-on of watching a handsome younger man toss her work on the floor and basically say 'the rest of the afternoon, you're with me'.

Whatever the case, two sake cups were instantly out in the open, faster than the copy-nin could blink.

As he cracked the bottle, she sat back with a voluptuous smirk. "I'm all ears. What's our little blonde bundle of chaos been up to lately?"

XXX

Next Day

Konoha Library

6:32 am

"You are insane. You do know that, don't you?"

"I've known it since day one. Point?"

"Huh. I didn't really expect you to admit it so easily. They usually try to deny it."

Naruto let slip an animalistic smirk. "See, crazy people don't know they're crazy—they're the simple idiots of this place. Now insane people have the smarts to know they're insane—they're the ones you probably wanna watch out for. A man with knowledge of himself is extremely volatile."

"Okay, where'd you read that line from? No way you came up with that on your own."

"Point?" Naruto repeated, amused.

"I think it's freakin' awesome! Dude, if this works do you know how much of a hero you'll be?"

"I'm not doing this to be a hero," muttered Naruto, rapidly flipping pages through a book. "I already told you guys…the Sasuke retrieval mission ain't over yet. It's just gettin' started."

Anybody up at the crack of dawn would find the Konoha library a strange sight, made such by the cluster of genin around a table in the far back of the gigantic building. The fact that a Hyuuga was present was already enough cause for some to nearly crack their necks getting a second glance, but to see Naruto Uzumaki, a boy proclaimed dead-last in the academy, with an actual book in his hands was nothing short of jaw-dropping.

Scattered around him were five more equally famous ninja. Unfortunately, their fame came with a failed mission and the death of a fellow shinobi. Thumbing through a shelf behind the blonde was Neji Hyuuga, his pale eyes taking in books that he had already read. He wasn't quite sure what to expect when Uzumaki had called him that day but this…wanting to bring back the dead? Even if he didn't stick to his 'destiny' motif anymore, some things really were the way they were.

Sitting with his legs up on the table, Kiba sported a fanged grin, excited by the prospect of bringing back a teammate. He may not have been close to Sasuke but his primal instincts told him that the Uchiha had power—and Kiba always dreamed of taking that power. His clan had sacred, secret techniques that he wasn't even sure the Hokage herself was aware of. The Third was. After all, he'd helped them perfect it after making them promise not to use it outside of their clan.

"This is gonna be soooo sweet! Ain't that right, Akamaru?" The little vanilla colored dog at his feet yipped with just as much excitement.

"This is anything but sweet. It's troublesome out the ass," spoke Shikamaru, scratching behind his head. He stood behind Naruto, peeking over his shoulder at a book entitled 'Scrolls of The Gate Chakra's: Harness the Right Gate for You.' It's writing was complex to the point of causing a brain lesion but to the Nara, it was little more than child's play.

Shikamaru found the whole subject troublesome—actually, he found just being a ninja troublesome but this was a different matter. A personal matter that caused the Nara to have nightmares over the fiasco that became his first botched leading mission. And with the murder of the last of the Uchiha…well, the shame and blame may not have been put on him but he felt it all the same. It really pissed him off to see people scorning Naruto and hissing out death threats when it was he, Shikamaru, who had been the mission leader, the one who was supposed to shoulder the shit end of it.

What was he, chopped liver? Unfit to be blamed alongside his comrade? That type of thinking only cemented his belief that his own sanity was teetering but the hell with it. For the chance to bring back a comrade, no matter how troublesome they've been acting, then he'd gladly join in Naruto's suicidal plan.

Luckily for them, the librarian was busy tending to an inhumane amount of weapons books returned earlier that day and was thus unable to reprimand the portliest member of their team for noisily crunching down on his chips. Chouji made a mental note to thank Tenten for her perfect timing, then suggest her to a good therapist for her addictions to weapons. His motives for rejoining the team were not as complex as the others. Shikamaru was there, and his reasons were good enough for him.

"So what's the first step, Uzumaki?" wondered Neji listlessly, turning to stare at the back of the blonde's head. "I assume you have a game plan having called us out here at this ungodly hour."

"Yeah, but I guarantee you guys aren't gonna like it. Worst case scenario, you try to stop me and then that's when things turn ugly." Naruto's answer was methodically spoken, already planned out, and that alone caused the five around him to tense. "Do you wanna hear it?"

"Are you gonna make this into a fight?" asked Kiba, slowly cracking his knuckles with a fanged grin. "Cuz if so, I'm game whenever, man."

"Won't be a fight, Kibble," smirked Naruto, closing the heavy tomb with a snap that blew dust into the air.

"Don't call me that!" snapped Kiba.

"Then quit eating out of Akamaru's food dish," muttered Shikamaru under his breath.

Growling, Kiba banged his fist down on the table causing a tower of Naruto's books to tremble. "Hey! I'll have all you bastards know that kibble is dog-fortified with—"

"So you're basically calling yourself a dog," surmised Neji slowly, cocking an eyebrow. A smirk graced his lips when Kiba looked shot. "Yeah, smooth move, rover."

Before Kiba could retort, Naruto threw his head back, staring up into the mirror-like ceiling of the library, his mind racing. "Looking at it realistically…how far are you guys willing to go to bring back Sasuke?" he wondered offhandedly. "I need that answered before I tell you anything."

Neji turned to Shikamaru, who shrugged, before saying, "I guess that would depend on the stakes involved. What would you have us do to achieve this outlandish goal?"

Naruto smirked. "I'm already a pariah so whatever I do won't matter to jack shit. You guys, you got family and—"

"Okay, cut the clichéd bull and just tell us," snapped Shikamaru, placing his hands in his pockets. "That line's been said so many times it's not even funny anymore. I'll ask one more damn time: what do we have to do?"

"Track down Orochimaru."

For a moment there was silence as every eye widened to almost laughable proportions. The only one who spoke was Sasuke, who came waltzing from between the aisle next to them. He observed the faces of those trying to revive him and laughed. "So you told 'em, eh?"

In his mind, Naruto willed Sasuke to shut up. Why couldn't you be the regular stony asshole I used to hate?

A sadistic flare settled behind Sasuke's eyes. "Because having a sense of humor is nice for a change of pace. Sure pisses you off—"

"I'm in," said Kiba audibly, throwing his hand in the air. The look on his face was paramount; he wasn't joking.

All Naruto could do was stare. The only reason he had assembled this team again was because he felt it only fair that the ones who participated in the disaster know of his plans. He hadn't expected any of them to actually join.

Wordlessly, Shikamaru opened a pouch on the front of his chunin vest and out fell a miniature scroll that he unfurled over the table. The contents were blank. Narrowing his eyes, he glanced around at the ninja before him. "Seems Kiba was the only one crazy enough to admit to such a plan out in the open," he stated morosely. While Kiba looked confused, Neji nodded. "This is a special binding contract, issued to every chunin. It's usually reserved for the enemy by getting them to agree to terms you make. If they break it…." And it was here that Shikamaru fell silent leading the others to assume the worse. "It takes blood to work. Sign if you're serious because the effects are permanent."

And Shikamaru crunched down on his pointing finger without a second thought. In a flash, his name was signed in scarlet script.

Naruto blinked when Chouji, stuffing chips far too fast into his mouth, bit his finger. Pulling it out left a blood trail to his mouth yet he slammed it to the scroll and scribbled his name down in what looked like chicken scratch. "I'm in," he replied, crumbling his empty snack bag.

Sighing like it was a terrible chore, Neji came up behind Naruto, pricking his finger over one of the bookcase shelves. "I do not shed blood lightly. Anything short of a death promise for failure and I'll be highly disappointed, Nara," he said reaching over Naruto's shoulder to sign his name upside down.

Still shocked, Naruto didn't think it possible to reveal ones nobility in their writing but Neji's was as beautiful as his clans fighting style.

Shikamaru nodded. "Trust me, the heading becomes clear when all those willing to sign do. Troublesome as all hell, I did give this some forethought."

As Kiba snatched the scroll, Naruto did a double take. "How the hell did you plan for something I hadn't even thought of yet, dude?"

"The Nara boy's smarter than he lets on," snickered Sasuke yet no one could hear.

"Simple. Because you were involved," answered Shikamaru passively, watching as both Kiba and Akamaru signed, the latter pricking one of his paw pads to do so. "I figured anything that involved Naruto Uzumaki…well, I'd better think of the impossible. And it don't get much more impossible-er than this."

"That's not a word, you know," pointed out Neji.

"Yeah, and apparently Ino doesn't have that glorious D-cup she's always bragging about either," argued Shikamaru and his random snap-back left the Hyuuga speechless, those clear eyes widening.

Just as Kiba put the finishing touches on his signature—his script was fairly impressive for someone of his background—the scroll suddenly grew a mind of its own, trembling like an earthquake was rolling through. The scarlet of their blood began to bubble and froth, hissing angrily—

"Uh, Shikamaru? What the hell is that thing doing?" Naruto asked with more bravery than he felt, inching back in his chair.

"Like I said, it's a high-level jutsu, almost of a sealing nature. It's only supposed to be used for criminals but I figure," began Shikamaru with a nauseous grin, "by the time this journey is through, we'll all be fugitives anyway."

"As long as I come back it don't matter to me," laughed Sasuke in Naruto's mind but Naruto couldn't hear properly.

Sure, he thought he knew the risks of his plan but when Shikamaru said it like that a ball of lead fell into his stomach and he started to shake. Doubt…damn, he hated doubt. He just had to wonder, was it worth it? In the end, would everything be all right? What if they didn't resurrect Sasuke? What if they failed and wound up in prison, or worse, dead?

Shit…shit, shit, shit….Quit shaking, damn it! Naruto yelled mentally, grabbing his arm under the table. He jerked when Shikamaru pushed the still-frothing scroll towards him.

"It activates when the last person signs," he explained, unclipping another pouch on his vest. A roll of gauze fell out and all of them took a strand to wrap around their bleeding digits.

When Naruto only stared at the scroll like it was a diamond-backed snake, Sasuke closed his eyes and the atmosphere took a drastic pitfall into frigid temperatures. The only ones who took notice were Naruto, Kiba, and Akamaru; Kiba glanced around with a cocked eyebrow.

"Where is it, huh? Where's all that bravado you had earlier when you told me, Sakura-kun, and Kaka-sensei that you would bring me back?" If looks could kill, the glare Sasuke was piercing Naruto with would have put the blonde six feet under. "Was it fake? Were you caught up in the moment of everything like I said? Just spouting stupid crap as usual, huh? Figures."

Something rubbery took hold of Naruto's throat making speech all but impossible. As he stared to the right at Sasuke, his lips floundering, the others had to wonder what in the world was making him act like that. They were blind to the spectral version of the boy they sought to see breath again.

"'I don't quit and I don't run—that's my ninja way'," Sasuke recited darkly. "Say it…say it or so help me God I'll haunt you into an early grave!" When Naruto remained silent, beads of seat curving his whiskered cheeks, Sasuke snapped. "Say it, damn you! You think this is just some fucked up memory of me going wild in your miniscule brain? This is my soul!" he shouted, slapping himself on the chest. "I didn't know why I came back to this dirtball called earth until you told me your plan—I was angry, oh yeah, I was pissed off but then I remembered all the times you would shoot off at the mouth, make retarded promises, and then somehow, somehow pull through! Bring that back! You know damn well if anyone can do this, it's you! NOW SAY IT!"

"Naruto…?" Even through the ringing in his ears, Naruto could make out the uncertainty in Shikamaru's voice. "Wait," he began almost accusingly, his eyes growing slitted, "don't tell me you're not—"

With a tham that rocked the entire table and sent towers of books tumbling to the floor, Naruto slammed his hand down, reminding himself of the time he stood up to Ibiki during the first part of the chunin exam. "I DON'T QUIT AND I DON'T FUCKING RUN AWAY! MY NAME IS NARUTO 'GOT DAMN' UZUMAKI AND THAT'S MY NINJA WAY!"

"Damn right!" cheered Kiba, punching the air with his fist. "Go on, you idiot! Sign your name already and let's get this over with!"

"Must you make us wait, Uzumaki?" said Neji with quaint smirk. "Always the slowest…."

Chouji said nothing, licking the finger of his left hand while offering a thumbs up with his right.

Nodding so hard he almost gave himself a headache, Naruto snatched the piece of parchment towards him. He tore a chunk from his thumb with his teeth, ignored the pain, and wrote his name in capital, jagged letters so that his stood out among everyone else's. "There! What happens now, lazy bastard?"

Choosing to ignore that jibe, Shikamaru merely pointed to the very top where words were making themselves clear, inked in the same glistening black as their signatures. There was no frothing, no bubbling; it just rose to the surface like a whisper.

As one, they all leaned forward to read the passage:

The names of the ones who are written,

Are joined together, their acceptance willing.

To this promise, they'll all be held,

Until the very end, until the very last bell.

"Well, that doesn't sound foreboding in the least," said Neji sarcastically, standing upright.

"Whatever, I think it sounds cool!" exclaimed Naruto, his previous hesitation gone. "What's all that fancy rhymin' supposed to mean anyway, man?"

Rolling the scroll back up, Shikamaru produced a black string from his pocket and tied it closed. "Oh, nothing much, really. Just saying that if we break this bond we'll be joining Sasuke wherever he is."

Where the others looked stricken, Sasuke alone snickered as the sounds of hurried footsteps echoed throughout the silence. "Cool. I could use some company."

"Like hell," muttered Naruto under his breath. He cringed at the sharp click-clak of heels over the tiled floor. "Who in the hell is walking like—"

A woman had just rounded the corner and all movement ceased. Every breath caught as they realized who stood before them: Kaede Mikuru, her chest expanding like a balloon.

Kiba's eyes bulged. "Oh shit—"

"W-wait!" started Neji, sounding terrified for the first time in years. "Mikuru-sama, we were just—"

"YOU STUPID BRATS!" she roared and the sheer magnitude of her voice knocked all the ninja off their feet. At only twenty-four years old, Kaede Mikuru was a child of prophecy where the books and ledgers of Konoha were concerned. Like others in her line of work she was called a Keeper, someone who specialized in every document, every book, and every scroll the village had to offer. Her memory spanned light-years and her skill quickly surpassed the last Grand Keeper, her grandmother.

Even though she was the youngest of the organization, she took the throne with great dexterity. Unlike the Yamanaka who specialized in the mind, Keepers kept logs of different subjects and it was the Grand's job to keep track of everything. Tending to the Konoha library was not her jurisdiction—something of this level could have been passed down to a tier one Keeper—but she loved being surrounded by the books and wanted to be the first to read a new novel shipped in from other villages and lands.

"What in the hell is on your scrawny minds?" she raged, bending over and scooping up books into her arms. "I could hear your depraved yelling all the way on the other side of the building! All the cheering, the fist slamming, and then you have the balls to actually spill my precious children!" By 'children' they automatically knew she was referring to her books. "Before I plant my fist knee-deep in your mouth, have you any words for your defense? It won't help whatsoever but I'm not as cruel as my grandmother. I'll at least listen."

Standing over them, Kaede was what one would call a 'tough' beauty, more than a tomboy but a woman who liked to dress up. Lengthy auburn tresses adorned her head and were tied into a back-length ponytail. Her face was smooth, almost as if carved from marble by the world's most delicate hands, and her eyes, a deep maroon, were narrowed like a hawk spotting its next meal. Unlike most Keepers, she wore nothing but bandages around her admittedly eye-catching bust—like the samurai of olden times—and then a pair of thigh-high shorts made from some of the finest black silk money could buy. Instead of shoes or sandals, she wore something called high heels, a new brand of footwear from an up-and-coming village of merchandise and goods.

Struck by her beauty, as he was every time, Naruto struggled to untangle his legs from Neji's. How could she go around looking like that and be perfectly okay? Didn't anyone find that indecent? Didn't anyone ever report her?

"Okay, first of all, she's the freaking Grand Keeper," probed Sasuke, reading the blonde's thoughts. "She could go around stark naked and no one except the Hokage would have the authority to question her. And besides all that…do you really have a problem with how she dresses? I mean, really, as a man, do you?"

It was easy enough to ignore that question and focus on getting up on the opposite side of the table, anything to put some distance between himself and the alluring creature bearing down on them.

"I've given you forty-three seconds to reply," counted Kaede, leaning towards the young ninja. She merely twitched her nose and enjoyed how all of them jumped, including the Hyuuga. "You have seventeen more. Make the most of it before you—"

"RUUUUUN!" Naruto bellowed.

And it was like a herd of elephant had suddenly come charging in for all the noise Naruto and the others made as they hauled ass for the exit: they stumbled over chairs, sent heaps of books crashing to the floor, and were literally jumping over each others heads as they stampeded for that glorious strip of light filtering in through the glass entrance doors.

A sudden howl from behind caused the very floors to tremble and the chandeliers above to creak: "GET BACK HERE AND CLEAN ALL THIS SHIT UP!"

"Can't do that now, Mikuru-sama!" yelled Kiba over his shoulder, bolting on all fours like his canine companion.

"Yeah, duty calls!" echoed Naruto, skipping past Chouji by planting a hand on his shoulder ad pole-vaulting over; Sasuke was casually floating beside them, laughing his head off. Naruto glanced back only once and withheld a laugh of his own at the sight of that Grand Keeper chasing them down. "For a bear with sweater-puppets you sure are cute, Kaede-chan! Keep up the good work!"

And with an ear-shattering bang that caused many villagers to whip around, five ninja burst through the library doors, nearly snatching them off the hinges, and tore off in separate directions after promising to discuss things later.

As Naruto sped off towards the cell 7 training grounds, he couldn't help but smile the same as the spirit keeping pace with him. Kakashi wanted to introduce them to somebody but Naruto didn't care so much. No matter what, today would be a good day.

XXX