Chapter One
The morning air was crisp. Sharp and clear, and refreshingly cool as it filled his lungs. There was still a slight mist clinging to the ground, and the sunlight glinted off the beads of dew sitting in the grass. If the sunlight could make a sound, it would tinkle like countless tiny bells as it filtered through the gaps in the leaves.
But there was no sound, only the occasional rustle of leaves as the wind breathed through them, and Kakashi's own breath, each intake a guilty reminder of what he had that they didn't.
Sometimes visiting the memorial would be soothing. Like a balm for the soul, he could look at the names of the people who had left him and remember why he kept breathing. So that he could live their share of life, carry them with him wherever he went and keep them alive. He lived by the lessons they taught him, they existed in everything he did.
At other times, visiting the stone would serve only to remind him of the mistakes he had made. Grief would braid itself through his gut and he'd pass the hours reliving every past mistake he had ever made, playing out what he would have done differently, loathing the person he once was. It was on these days that he was later than usual for any appointments he had. But once he had turned away from the names of those he had loved he would feel lighter. He could never forget his mistakes, but he had learnt from them. Hating himself for his mistakes was denying the lessons they had taught him.
But this time, he felt oddly numb as he swept his one dark eye over the names carved into the stone. His sensei had tried to teach him once what it was they kept fighting for, why they continued to wash the blood away and start again. Kakashi fought for them, the people most precious to him. Still precious even though they were dead. But it didn't seem enough any more. It wasn't enough to carry on for a memory, for the legacy someone else had left behind for him to defend. It was lonely, loving only the dead.
But everyone he cared about left him. That was the crux of the problem. They all left him alone in the end, until it had gotten to the point where he had stopped caring for anyone else. Because he'd be left behind again and the old pain would be brand new.
His father, Obito, Sensei, Rin. And then Sasuke and Naruto and Sakura. He'd grown comfortable with those kids, he hadn't even realised that he'd let them into his affections until Sasuke left. When he'd carried Naruto back to Konoha after finding him unconscious at the Valley of the End, he had marked off another person who had left him and found himself becoming even more attached to Naruto and Sakura, the ones left behind with him. But then Naruto had gone. Not for good like the others, still out there somewhere, but gone nonetheless. And Tsunade had stolen Sakura away. She might still be in Konoha, but he hardly saw her anymore, and truth be told, he didn't really want to. The uncomfortable truth was that he had cared for those three, but he was just Kakashi-sensei to them, perfectly easy to leave behind and forget.
He could see the pattern. He would get attached and they would leave. There was a simple solution. Don't get attached. Wasn't what they were taught as shinobi?
Still, it was lonely, loving only the dead.
oO0Oo
There is a sanctuary in the heart of Konoha that only a precious few are permitted to enter. The younger generations cast the entrance wary glances and hurry past in nervous silence. Parents hesitate outside. Hardened shinobi wonder what it looks like on the inside but would never satisfy their curiosity out of a grudging respect.
Only a select few are allowed into the teacher's lounge of Konoha's Ninja Academy.
Inside may not seem like much. There are a few battered couches; a coffee table that has been resurrected from the dead with nails and duct tape; desks with wounds from kunai and shuriken eating into the wood; tatty chairs and a carpet that is more a map of coffee stains. But it is a haven for the teachers of the next generation, because "NO STUDENTS PERMITTED."
Iruka kicked the door open and ducked the kunai that zipped through the air, only to thunk into the wall of the corridor behind him.
"Sorry!" Namida Suzume waved her hands frantically, her eyes wide behind her glasses, "I guess we should move the dart board off the back of the door; one day someone will lose an eye."
Iruka kicked the door shut behind him, revealing the dart board that was no more than a mess of pockmarked cork after bearing the brunt of the teachers' frustrations for so many years.
"Maa," Iruka grinned, "we're all more than capable of dodging a kunai."
He weaved through the battered furniture towards the coffee machine that had pride of place at the back of the teachers' lounge. When Iruka had started working in the mission room he had made the horrific discovery that the coffee they had was the drink of the gods, whereas the coffee in the teachers' lounge tasted like weak tar. Since he spent more time in the Academy than in the mission room, he had set out to right this heinous wrong. He had stolen into the mission room in the dead of night, and switched the coffee machines. The jounin were still trying to work out what had happened to their precious, godly beverage.
"What's the plan for today then?" Suzume asked as she wielded a fresh kunai, scrutinising the disfigured cork hanging off the door with a look of deadly intent, "your class is going on a field trip today, right?"
Iruka nodded, "The Nara clan agreed to let me bring the children to see their deer." He filled his mug with the steaming beverage, the rich aroma of the coffee permeating the air, "we've been studying shinobi medicinal practices. The Nara clan have kept records of the preparation and effects of different medicine for generations, and the antlers of their deer have medicinal properties, so I thought this would be a nice treat."
The kunai whipped from Suzume's hand and imbedded itself in the door, stabbing straight through the abused dart board with a crack, "you're a glutton for punishment," she chuckled, "I can only imagine what kind of mischief Konohamaru will cook up when surrounded by all those deer, you'll end up with an antler up your butt, mark my words."
"Been there, done that," Iruka smirked as he blew over his coffee, "not something I'd like to repeat."
Suzume's next kunai went wide of the mark as his words sunk in. The weapon glanced off the doorknob and lodged itself in the ceiling, dangerously close to the lampshade, "you've had an antler up your butt?" she goggled.
Iruka grinned and took a sip of coffee, "close enough," he said, amusement dripping off his words, "I tried to make off with one of the deer once. In my naivety, I assumed that deer were pretty much like horses. The stag I chose for my little escapade was not happy."
Suzume snorted and shook her head, "I sometimes forget what you were like. I should be more worried about Konohamaru running afoul of you than the other way around."
Iruka nodded the affirmative and finished his coffee. People tended to have difficulty relating Iruka's approachable schoolteacher demeanour to the hellion he once was.
Poor, misguided fools.
oO0Oo
A thick, white mist claimed the ancient trees that framed Konoha. It sprang up from nothing and crawled along the roots and leaves of the forest floor, like a heavy wave of milky air, rolling onwards. It breathed its way around the thick trunks, more like pale liquid pouring over the ground. Opalescent tendrils of fog reached upwards, fingering the canopy of leaves above with potent curiosity.
Within the mist, silence hung over the forest, heavy and patient. The rustle of the leaves dimmed within the weighted air and the birdsong became muted, swallowed by the blanket of white. The colour of the forest was robbed by the fog, the trees were shrouded and the green was overpowered. Everything was white and oppressive and intangible.
And in the heart of the nothingness blinked two eyes, emerald green and as hard as jewels.
The forest, lost in the fog, held it's breath.
oO0Oo
The Nara compound sat on the outskirts of Konoha. The clan house opened up onto vast fields, fenced in by the colossal trees of the forest that was home to the family's herd of deer. Across the grass, half of Iruka's class flitted back and forth between their teacher and the proud animals that pawed at the earth and shook their heads, tossing tall antlers from side to side.
Iruka was grateful that some of the animals had ventured out of the trees and across the field. He had no intention of letting his students loose in the forest, and it would have been a pity if they had come all this way and not had a chance to see the deer.
Behind the chuunin, the door to the compound was yawning open, and inside the other half of Iruka's class was cautiously poring over the documents of the Nara clan, listening intently to Nara Yoshino as she explained the properties of various herbs found in the forests of Fire Country. Iruka was rather impressed that she had managed to exert her control over his unruly students, but for such a delicate seeming woman, she gave off quite a forbidding aura.
Perhaps that was why her husband was slouched in the doorway, purposefully not looking back inside where his wife was watching the children. Iruka had split his class into two groups, the first inside with Yoshino, benefiting from generations of notes on medicine, the second out with the deer, stretching their legs, with Iruka watching them to making sure no one ended up with antlers being jammed somewhere painful
"Thank you for doing this Nara-san," Iruka smiled over his shoulder at the man slouched in the doorway.
Nara Shikaku sighed and shook his head, "troublesome."
"Shikaku!"
Iruka winced at the shrill sound of Yoshino's voice as she called for her husband.
"Shikaku! Get in here!" she screeched, "where are the records on the Akimichi pills? Have you been messing with the filing system again?"
With a world weary sigh, Shikaku turned away from Iruka and the frolicking children, and slumped into the house, where the rest of Iruka's class were cowering in Yoshino's shadow.
"Iruka-sensei!"
Iruka looked down at Moegi. The little girl was tugging excitedly on his flak jacket and beaming up at him with barely suppressed glee.
"Come and see this Iruka-sensei!" she giggled, "it's really cool! Come see!"
Iruka let her tug him along, further into the field where the grazing deer were clustered and the rest of the students were gathered.
Moegi let go of Iruka and skipped closer to one of the stags, only slowing to a cautious walk when the animal raised its head to peer at her warily.
Nara Shikaku had given the children sugar cubes and told them to see what would happen. So far the children had shied away from the stags, only approaching the animals that didn't have crowns of antlers. With a shaky arm, Moegi reached out tentatively, holding her palm open and offering one of the small sugar cubes to the distinctly unimpressed looking stag.
The animal regarded her for a moment before lowering its head, nuzzling against Moegi's palm as it lapped up the proffered treat. Moegi snapped her arm back as the stag raised its head, and then to Iruka's amazement and the children's delight, the stag bowed. It lowered its head and swept the grass with its antlers in front of Moegi, before it turned to stride away, leaving Moegi to giggle and bounce on the spot.
"Did you see that, Iruka-sensei?" she squealed, "it bowed!"
Iruka chucked and nodded to her, "I saw Moegi."
"My turn!" Konohamaru marched past the girl, a look of determination set into his face and a sugar cube clutched in his fist.
Before Konohamaru could get close enough to one of the stags, every last one of the creatures raised its head and turned. With an eerie collective consciousness, all of the deer aimed their dark eyes to the line of trees across the field, utterly still.
Konohamaru faltered and paused amidst the unmoving creatures.
"What's going on?" he asked. But before Iruka could come up with a possible explanation, the deer ran. They twisted around, leaping away from whatever it was they had sensed and flying past the children and their teacher.
Iruka could feel the ground shake each time a hoof hit the earth. The deer weaved between them, running flat out to the other side of the field. Iruka only looked back to the trees when the hammering of hooves had faded, and his body tensed.
He couldn't see the trees anymore. Where the forest had been there was now a wall of white, and it was stealing closer. A thick mist was curling and rolling over the grass, eating the green of the field as it moved. It had an unnatural quality to it, and Iruka wondered if mist was supposed to move so quickly, but it had washed over them before he could puzzle it out. Moments ago it had been a clear day. The sky was a vivid blue and the colours of the day had been startling in the sunshine. But suddenly everything was white; he could barely even see Moegi who had clutched his arm as the mist swallowed them.
Around him he could hear the voices of his students. They were yelling, but their voices were oddly muffled, as though the air was absorbing the sound. Konohamaru was cursing and yelling for his friends, and the rest were calling out for Iruka or Nara-san.
"Konohamaru!" Iruka yelled as loudly as his throat would let him, "Udon! Children! Over here!"
Ice was trickling into Iruka's chest. He knew this was no ordinary mist; it was too thick; it had moved too quickly and enveloped everything it touched. He had to find his students and get them back to the house. He couldn't pinpoint any threat, but he knew there was something sinister hiding in the mist.
Iruka managed to pry Moegi's grip from his arm. He'd need to be able to move if they were attacked and Moegi seemed intent on fusing herself to him. He carried on calling, trying to draw the children closer with his voice. Hyuuga Hanabi strode up to him first, exuding confidence when Iruka had never felt so helpless and blind. Then he realised.
"Hanabi," he said as he looked down into the girl's opal eyes, "can you see through this mist?"
Hanabi raised an eyebrow, "of course," she replied, "but it isn't normal mist."
He had formed that conclusion on his own. With Moegi clinging to his vest and Hanabi holding his hand, he let the Hyuuga heir pull him blindly through the swirling white, until he had the rest of his students gathered around him.
"Everyone form a line," Iruka called, "and hold the hand of the person next to you. It's just a little fog, nothing to worry about." His words felt like ash in his mouth, he was definitely worried, but he couldn't let his voice betray him. If the students panicked then there would be chaos. Iruka needed everyone to be calm. He knew which direction the house was in, and he was careful to keep his bearings as he checked the children over. If they got lost in this they'd never escape.
"Where's Konohamaru?" Iruka frowned when he'd checked the line of children, "Konohamaru! Hanabi, can you see him?"
Hanabi peered into the fog, the veins around her eyes bulging and throbbing. Iruka had to make a conscious effort not to clutch Moegi's hand tighter or shake the white eyed girl to make her hurry up and find Konohamaru.
Hanabi's eyes widened suddenly and she pointed towards something Iruka couldn't see. "There are people coming," she said softly, her voice further nulled by the strange mist, "three shinobi, one of them is carrying Konohamaru."
Iruka tensed and loosened his grip on Moegi's hand, in case he needed to reach for any weapons.
"Do they have any insignia?" Iruka asked her, "can you see their hitai-ates?"
She nodded, her shoulders relaxed and she looked up at her teacher, the veins of her face sinking back beneath her pale flesh, "they're Leaf shinobi."
Iruka felt the tension ebb out of him. The nervous energy he had been storing for a fight drained out through his feet and into the ground beneath him. But if one of them was carrying Konohamaru, then something must have happened to him.
Out of the pale void, three silhouettes wavered, becoming steadily more solid as they approached. For some reason Iruka felt himself tense up again; a tight coil wound in his gut, ready to snap at a moments notice. He didn't like not being able to identify the shinobi approaching them. With sudden haste, Iruka felt the need to get the students back to the Nara clan house. He knew Konohamaru was with those hazy figures, but something wasn't right, all of his instincts went into overdrive. But as his fingers wrapped more firmly around Moegi's small hand, and he shifted his weight to lead his class through the fog, the voice of the mysterious shinobi approaching them called out.
"Umino-san!" Iruka paused and waited for the figures to get closer, he recognised that voice from somewhere.
"Umino-san," the silhouette steadied, and suddenly Iruka was looking at a fellow chuunin, a man he didn't know well, but knew enough to feel much better for seeing him. The man was holding Konohamaru under one thick arm. The boy was unconscious, hanging limply in the chuunin's grip.
"Konohamaru!" Iruka yelled as the remaining two figures waded through the fog. Two more chuunin, a man he knew on sight but not by name, and a woman he had been in the same class as at the Academy. Iruka felt relief wash over him like a wave.
"He's fine Umino-san," the first shinobi said hastily, "but we have to get out of here. Follow us."
The shinobi turned and set off at a brisk walk. Iruka had a second of indecision. He felt like he was being torn in two. The house was behind them, he knew it was. But the chuunin were leading him towards the forest. He had a split second to assess the situation before he lost the shinobi carrying Konohamaru in the mist. His insides were screaming at him to turn back towards the house, but maybe the chuunin knew more about the situation than he did. They wouldn't lead him and his class into the forest, away from the village without good reason.
He made his mind up as the fog began to swallow the shinobi before him. He squeezed Moegi's hand gently and stepped further into the white world in front of them. He had to trust that those chuunin knew what was going on, they were Leaf shinobi after all, and Leaf shinobi took care of their own.
oO0Oo
Yoshino threw Shikaku a heated glare before turning to smile sweetly at the students sat at her feet. Shikaku came to the conclusion that his wife was possibly schizophrenic, and shook his head as he turned back to the door so that he could escape outside.
He halted when he saw the field. Or rather, when he didn't see the field. Outside, instead of the blue sky and green field he was expecting, was the thickest mist he had ever seen.
It was almost solid. He couldn't see the field, the trees encircling it, the sky. He stepped carefully out onto the grass and peered at his feet. The mist swirled around his ankles, giving him glimpses of muted green grass. The world had been silenced; there were no birds, no wind, no deer roaming the field. And no children.
"Iruka-sensei!" he yelled, but even his own voice was dampened in the heaviness of the air. No fog descended that fast, or so thick.
And there were no shadows in the milky existence he had stepped into.
He took a single step backwards, moving up onto the porch, his eyes fixed firmly on the fog. Only it wasn't just fog.
"Yoshino!"
"What?" his wife cried angrily, "I'm busy Shikaku!"
Shikaku ignored her and carried on, "take the kids further into the house and get Shikamaru, tell him to come here."
If Yoshino had a reply, it didn't make it to her tongue. She might wear the trousers in their family, but it was rare for her to say anything when Shikaku took on that tone of voice. Quickly and quietly, she did exactly as her husband said.