This little bunny bit me... um, about a week ago. For the record, this is just me, Shadow, writing. Den wasn't involved in this... beyond approving it. :) So, hope you enjoy!
Waking had a tint of unreality to it. Idly, Shadowsinger decided he was falling unconscious far too often, though granted he hadn't expected Megatron to... Megatron. Oh sweet Primus, had he really... Putting aside the confusing tangle of emotions that were rising up, the small mech tried to figure out where he was first. Where he was would dictate what he had to do.
It was mostly dark, a few lights from system monitors and soft beeping from the same... a med bay, then. Warm colors... An Autobot med bay. Right, because Megatron had let him go. Let him go, ensured he would be found quickly... Hadn't even asked questions, put no limits on him... Only a few simple commands... Shadowsinger still wasn't quite ready to think about those.
Calling up his self-diagnostics, everything scanned clean, reports that he was still recovering from chassis damage, thin weld lines from a medic's repairs, even thinner lines where his own self-repair had closed wounds... those chains, those painful chains... He would like to return to them at some point, as much as he wanted to touch his... His mate.
Monitoring equipment gave a louder tone as Shadowsinger began to tremble. It wasn't loud enough to summon a medic, just enough to draw the small mech's attention, giving him something to focus on as he slowed his systems back down, mastered his emotions for a time.
His mate. He was... bonded? Focus on that first, adjust to that... Paying attention now, he could hear... no, feel, a presence, the barest touch of another in his processor. It was a very thin and light bond, then. Almost not there. Shadowsinger didn't want to think about it not being there, didn't want to think about how thin it was... Maybe next time they would deepen it a little. He kind of hoped so, even if they never did finish it, he didn't really think they would ever finish the bonding, not the way things were...
Okay, so he accepted the presence of a bond. Accepted that he was tied to another until one or both of them offlined. But thinking about who that other was... Shadowsinger began trembling again, and this time yielded to it, letting the shaking rack through him freely, sending the equipment louder again. After maybe half a breem, the trembling subsided and the monitor's tone dropped again.
Try again. He was bonded. He had accepted the bond. Yearned for it, maybe even, desperate to please... his Lord? His Lord, yes. His Lord Megatron. Thinking the phrase, Shadowsinger paused a moment, waiting to see if he would begin shaking again. He didn't, leaving him free to consider just what he had done.
The first thing that came to his processor when considering the mech he was now bonded to was 'I don't love him.' Of course he didn't, why should he even think he should? Megatron hadn't asked for his love, hadn't really asked for anything at all... no. Well... he hadn't really asked... he had demanded everything... but neither had he truly taken anything that Shadowsinger had been unwilling to give. Shadowsinger had simply been willing to give... everything.
When had that happened? Megatron had terrified him in the arena... But he'd grown since then, seen more of life, and more of death. And he had never lost his... fascination. So, from there... maybe it made sense that he had been so willing to... submit... more than submit.
He accepted that he was bonded to Megatron, then. Even if the thought of how... thoroughly he had surrendered was almost enough to send him shaking again. He... belonged to the Decepticon tyrant... And yet, he was an Autobot. Well, that was why the bond would never be completed... Megatron hadn't sent him back to ... to spy, or gather info, or to sabotage anything. Had sent him back... to keep him safe? Or... to make him happy? Make him happy... Well, why not, his Lord had to have realized that Shadowsinger would change sides the moment Megatron asked. He would, and he would be satisfied with his new side... but happy... Shadowsinger couldn't answer, even to himself, if he would actually be happy as a Decepticon.
Did he regret it? Did he wish it had not... The monitor gave a very loud tone indeed as Shadowsinger shuddered violently. As the medic came hurrying over to check him, the small mech smiled. He was bonded. He was Megatron's mate. And as wrong as it might be, he was happy.
Sooo... Please leave a review! Hope you liked, but I'll even accept flames!