Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Author's note: Finally, the second chapter is up. I thought I'd take a slightly different take on Esme's reaction to Edward than the usual; tell me if it's convincing. I wanted their bonding to be slightly different from what is typically expected.

Broken Smiles and Goodbyes

Chapter II

I blinked in surprise at the golden hue of the kindly pair of eyes. How could they be so...golden? No other colour came close to describing the colour but I had never seen eyes so gold and loving. Certainly not my husband's.

Another blink brought his face into focus. And I remembered. This face was familiar, more familiar than it should have been. I remembered him from when I had to go to the doctor and his had been the only kindly face of the time. I was in disgrace with my family for my hoydenish behaviour and, as always, I was susceptible enough to the feelings around me to be upset. Doctor Cullen's face had been the first one to smile at me in days, and talk to me gently. And from that one meeting, his face had been forever imprinted in my mind as the ideal man. I had given myself the liberty to endow him with every virtue I could think of and every vice I found attractive, and, having never met him more than once, that notion of an ideal man had never suffered from the restraints of reality.

My husband could never have lived up to the image of Doctor Cullen in my mind but unfortunately, nor could he live up to the image of a decent man. Or maybe it was a fortunate circumstance, considering who was looking down at me, hints of relief showing through an otherwise impassive face.

I opened my mouth – to say what, even I didn't know – but it was overwhelming. A myriad of scents, so strong that they could have been flavours, assailed me and I was left dizzy. Questions of heaven and hell jostled with each other in my mind, and yet, no words could leave my lips, despite how ardently I wanted to ask these questions, have them answered.

"Neither."

Just as my dizzy spell was lessening, this noise introduced an entirely different variety of dizziness, one caused by such subtleties between sounds that overpowered my mind. And, beneath my senses swimming achingly and my utter confusion over how and why everything seemed so devastating, I wondered who they were talking to.

"To you," The voice sounded impatient now. "It's neither heaven, nor hell."

Those kind golden eyes now took on a look of concern. To a woman used to cruelty and unkindness, such concern could not but be welcome and beloved, and I wondered how I could have ever thought this hell.

"Esme..." My name sounded beautiful when spoken in a voice of wind chimes, though Doctor Cullen sounded uncertain. I opened my mouth to speak but I didn't know what to say. 'Yes, it's me' sounded foolish. 'What?' would sound ungrateful. What words could express the emotions I myself couldn't decipher? I contented myself with a blink, a nod and what felt like a tentative smile on my lips. Doctor Cullen now looked openly uncertain, his emotions failing to be disguised in the least.

"Yes?" My voice startled me to such an extent that it took me seconds to realise it was my own voice, and not that of some mythical being. It was beautiful. There was a musical quality in it that had never been there before, each letter sounding like a song in itself. Good god, what had I become?

"A bloodsucker," the voice was calculatedly cold and emotionless. It took seconds for the words to register...and when they did, if I had bile, it would have risen up my throat. As it was, only a gagging sound passed my lips, somehow still sounding attractive and producing a panic that I found hard to contain.

"Esme, it's ok," Doctor Cullen's voice was soothing in its lies. His golden hued eyes glanced in a different direction and back at me, and I felt the vibrations from my lips trembling as I tried to comprehend that I had turned into a monster. I couldn't. How could such beautiful creatures be creatures of the damned? How could such kind eyes bring death and destruction to innocent people?

An emotion assailed me and, sensing how overpowering it would be in moments, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Innocent people... And it came to me, visions of my husband, uncaring, unloving, jeering, hurting, distant, cold. Hurting people didn't seem an act of evil; innocent people seemed like a myth, dreamt about rather than the reality of the world I had lived in. And I knew we weren't monsters, not in the least. We were more than humans were, and yet we had all their weaknesses that their emotions represented. We were merely powerful humans, as such. And such loving ones, I thought, as Carlisle continued to look down at me with such touching concern.

I knew I loved him then. At this precise moment, I knew that I had loved him all my life since our one chance encounter and my love only grew as I saw this concern and I knew that I could never stop loving him, no matter who came or what happened. He would be my husband in all essentials but the legal requirement. He would be my husband and I would be his wife and the happy family I never got as a mere ordinary human, I would now get having become something more than a human but not the monster the voice kept telling me we were.

There was a snort now. The kind of snort I was used to, indicative of derision and a total absence of respect. My eyes turned to seek out who this could be when I saw him; a boy, nothing but a young boy. His eyes narrowed as they looked at me and his mouth seemed to grimace but I looked at him unabashedly. What was there for me to be shy of? He was nothing but a little boy – an insolent, spoilt little boy, from what I'd heard of him so far. And what in the world was he doing here, anyway? How could Doctor Cullen bear to have him around?

Nothing but an insolent, spoilt little boy...the words danced in my head. They almost danced in front of my eyes as I interestedly watched the boy's nostrils flare in anger, his face seeming to become ever more rigid, ever less human. Nothing but an insolent, spoilt little boy...

"Nothing but a crazy, pathetic woman," he said, in a carefully modulated voice, showing no hint of emotion except in his choice of words.

"Edward!" Doctor Cullen's voice expressed shock and disapproval, and certain emotions I couldn't quite decipher. I was surprised by its intensity – he'd been nothing but civil and polite to me in the past and now and this intensity was new. I looked again at this boy, now scowling and looking down. Who was this boy that could make Doctor Cullen speak so...emotionally? I didn't like him, I decided.

"Esme," Doctor Cullen's voice was quiet now, soothing in its tone and it irritated me. "I'm sure you have questions, many, many questions. And I'll try and answer them for you. But first, you must be thirsty."

The irritation that his soothing tone had caused and the presence of the insolent, spoilt little boy remained, and I opened my mouth to deny any thirst when I found a sensation I couldn't explain. It hurt like something had been rubbed raw and yet, where this pain was, I couldn't have said.

"I'll take her hunting," the insolent, spoilt boy said, looking away from me and straight at Doctor Cullent. As if I had no choice in this matter, I thought resentfully. "Come." He beckoned with a certainty that I loathed, and again, I opened to deny the thirst when Doctor Cullen's hands found mine and he helped me into a sitting position.

"Come." The insolent, spoilt boy said again, this time with impatience. "Don't be scared."

I wanted to tell him that I feared nothing; that the things I'd suffered and gone through he couldn't even imagine but the word 'hunting' repeated itself in my head, time and again, each time penetrating into some place deeper. What had I become? What were these people? Were we just monsters?

"Come." He said again, but this time, there was something else in his voice. Sympathy or pity? I couldn't determine which it was but nevertheless, I followed him, trying desperately to deny my fear to myself.