I almost didn't continue this story. I even deleted it since it wasn't even getting viewed at all in the past month, but then I brought it back because...well, I don't really even know why. I've been really out of sorts lately...you may know why from my other author notes in other stories. I'm not gonna repeat myself. For those who think I don't finish my stories, I do. If I know I'm not going to or can't, I delete them. Just an FYI.
There may be triggering things in this chapter and in future chapters. Just throwing it out there.
I know this isn't the typical Mondler or Roschel story everyone loves, but I will throw a bit in here and there. Give it a chance. I'm hoping it won't disappoint. Anyway, I'll stop rambling. Happy reading.
Phoebe hid herself away for a few days. She answered her phone as little as possible but just enough so that no one would come over to check on her. She didn't feel well. She felt incredibly alone. She missed the three babies she talked to every day. She wondered how they were doing. She kept thinking about how she felt like this the last time. At least now she wasn't homeless.
Flashback
"You're back," Stabby Joe commented. Phoebe nodded. "No baby?"
"She died during childbirth," Phoebe lied. To explain to him what she had done would be admitting she had done a horrible thing. She had given away her own flesh and blood like it was nothing, like it didn't mean anything to her.
"Aw, I'm sorry," Joe said.
"It's for the best," Phoebe shrugged. Joe didn't think much of it. He went back to what he was doing. Phoebe sank down into her beat up, smelly box and thought again of the better life her daughter was going to have. This pain she was feeling, this emptiness and loneliness, it would eventually fade away. If she kept telling herself it was the right decision, she'd eventually feel better. That was what she was hoping for anyway. She pulled out Science Boy again, not knowing why this amateur comic made her feel better. It just seemed to remind her that there was so much she could learn, that there could still be hope for her one day.
Present
Phoebe cringed when someone knocked on her door. She was not up to company.
"Phoebs?" Joey's voice called. She didn't have the heart to tell him to go away. She pulled herself off of the couch and answered the door.
"You drew the short straw?" she asked. He gave her a confused look.
"What?"
"Nevermind," she sighed, letting him in.
"I thought you'd like to have dinner like we usually do," Joey said. "You know? Discuss the others?"
"I'm not up to it," she replied.
"Okay, now I know something is wrong," Joey pointed out. "You don't ever pass up the chance of discussing our friends' lives."
"I'm just tired."
"You keep saying that, but aren't you sleeping?" he asked, puzzled.
"I just don't feel well," Phoebe corrected. "The whole 'I just had triplets' thing, you know?"
"Right," Joey nodded. She bit back a laugh as he unconsciously touched his own belly as though he was trying to know what being pregnant would be like.
"You can tell Monica I'm fine."
"She had nothing to do with sending me here," Joey told her. "She's been acting weird anyway."
"Weird how?"
"I dunno. Just weird, like she's started a new relationship kind of weird."
"Right, like that phase where you're all dreamy and happy," Phoebe nodded. She pondered. Who would Monica be dating? Why hadn't she said anything?
"Yea!" Joey nodded vigorously. "Maybe she hooked up with someone at Ross's wedding."
"Well, I could tell she had had sex, so you may be right," Phoebe agreed.
"You sure you don't wanna have dinner and talk about this more?" Joey asked. Phoebe had to admit she was hungry, and she did want to talk about this more.
"Okay," she caved. "We can go."
"Yes," Joey fist pumped. Phoebe let him out and locked the door behind her. Maybe this would help clear her mind.
Later
Phoebe walked into her apartment after dinner and felt a bit better. It had been nice talking to Joey. They talked about the whole Ross and Emily fiasco as well as Rachel trying to pretend she didn't still love Ross while Chandler was Chandler and Monica was possibly secretly dating someone. She didn't talk about the babies, and Joey didn't bring it up. Phoebe wished she was brave enough to tell him about her secret daughter, how it ate at her constantly and left her to wonder where she was now. Phoebe had sort of found her once, but then she never found her again.
Flashback
"I thought you didn't want to know?" Fiona asked when Phoebe had asked her where her daughter was taken. It was three months after Phoebe had given her away. The not knowing had been driving her insane.
"I just...I wanna see if she's okay."
"She's okay, trust me," Fiona replied.
"Fiona, please," Phoebe begged. Fiona looked at her hard and long before sighing. She pulled off a piece of paper and wrote down a place.
"The mother goes here for a group thing," Fiona said. "That's all I'm giving you, and don't you dare follow her home."
"I won't," Phoebe promised. She just wanted to see her, to be reassured that she was okay. She took the paper and followed the directions. She found the place no problem at all. It was way on the other side from where she lived, so it was a bit of a walk. The only problem was, when she got there, she didn't know which baby was hers with which mother. It was a beautiful summer day, so they were all in the park chatting. Phoebe lingered, hoping to find some clue as to which baby was hers. It was hard to tell with the babies wearing hats and all. She focused on the pink outfits, but there were too many. She felt defeated. All this way and for nothing. After a while longer of searching, she was accosted by a police officer.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
"Nothing," she answered quickly.
"Why are you watching these people? What are you planning?"
"Nothing!"
The officer grabbed her then, scaring her. She struggled, not even thinking of screaming because who would help a homeless girl anyway?
"Looks like you got nowhere to go," he hissed. "Homeless bitch. Maybe I oughta teach you a lesson. No one would even miss you."
Phoebe yanked away and kicked him, but he grabbed her wrist, pulled out a knife and stabbed her right in the thigh. Without even hesitating, she pulled out her knife and stabbed him back, right in the abdomen. He screamed. Phoebe then ran for her life. Her leg was hurting very badly, and it was bleeding. She wasn't sure what that officer's intentions were with her, but she wasn't going to hang around to find out.
"You got hit," Stabby Joe noted, seeing the wound.
"Yea. I could have used your help," Phoebe commented.
"Here," Joe said, pulling out rags. "We'll clean it up." She started to cry as he fixed up her wound. All she had wanted was to see her baby. The drama that ensued just reaffirmed for her that perhaps it was best to just let her go.
Present
Phoebe unconsciously rubbed where the scar was from that knife wound. She still to this day didn't know why the officer had stabbed her. Had he been planning to incapacitate her to take her somewhere? She didn't know. It gave her shivers. She got ready for bed and was about to turn off the lights and crawl under the covers when rapid knocking sounded on her door.
"What now?" she muttered, going over to it.
"Phoebe? Are you here?" a voice called. She froze. It sounded an awful lot like...
"David!" she cried, pulling the door open and seeing her first serious boyfriend grinning back at her. "What are you doing here?!"
"I...I left," he answered, pushing his glasses up onto his nose further.
"You left?!"
"I left Minsk," he bobbed his head. "Nothing was happening, and I wanted to see you. I just...I didn't know if you wanted to see me."
"Of course I do," she gushed. David. How she had loved him. Her heart had been so broken when he had left.
"May I come in?"
"Yes!"
David cautiously came inside, looking at her nervously.
"Are you...are you seeing someone?" he asked. "I don't want to upset them by being here if you are."
"No, no. I'm not. I just had triplets, though."
"You...you what?" he asked, alarmed.
"They were my brother's," Phoebe shrugged. He gaped at her.
"What?!"
"I was the surrogate for him and his wife," Phoebe finished, having told him this way on purpose just to freak him out. She smirked now.
"Oh, why didn't you lead with that?" David asked, clutching his chest from anxiety.
"I thought it would be fun," she teased.
"It was...shocking," he said, starting to laugh now. "So, no boyfriend? Right?"
"Right."
"Oh...good," David smiled. Then he saw her pajamas. "Oh. You're going to bed."
"It can wait," she reassured him. "Sit! Tell me everything!"
"Okay," he nodded. They sat on the couch, and he started talking. Phoebe felt a lightness in her chest then. David was back. Her David. Maybe this was to help her feel better after the triplets. Maybe things would be okay after all.
To those wondering about TOW All the Love, I'm working on an update I promise. I just haven't been in a comedy writing mood lately, but I'm trying. Cheers.