Forward
Chapter 2
December 2, 2011
The last thing Aaron expects when his phone rings in the morning is Emily on the ID. "What happened?"
"Nothing," she says with a little bit of a laugh and he's glad she can laugh about it. He's not quite sure he's there yet. "Well, nothing's wrong. Everything's still working just fine. Power down, Hotch."
He's also glad for the playfulness in her voice. He hasn't scared her off by essentially telling her she's got until Christmas Day to make a decision about them. She's teasing and for the first time in a while, Aaron can admit it feels good. "You don't need to go to the hospital?"
"Mm, mm," she says, her tone implying the negative answer to his question. "I was hoping you could do me a favour though."
He figures it's to come open a jar or something. She is only a couple of blocks away and he's about to head in. He could make a stop….
He kind of wants to make a stop.
"I want to go into the BAU."
"You're on med leave," he replies promptly. No. No BAU for her. She has a tendency to overdo it and he won't be the one to put her into a situation where that's a possibility. He won't be an enabler for her.
"So? Hotch, I can't sit around the house all day. I'll go crazy. And I can't do anything because I don't have the use of both arms."
"And you think it'll be better at the BAU?" There's so much skepticism in his voice it's kind of incredible. But there are so many opportunities at the BAU for her to come out worse than when she went in. And she's healing, which means rest and there's no way she's going to be able to find that at the Bureau. Home is the safest place for her.
Or so he's set on believing.
What he doesn't know, is there's a trump card. "Aaron, I need to go in. For the team."
First name and the team. This really is important to her. And he can feel himself giving in because there's a warmth in his stomach that wasn't there before. It's not the steel of Agent Hotchner anymore and he allows himself a split second of reflection on how dangerous that is totally going to be. Still. "I'm listening."
Make your case, Counselor.
"I was just stabbed," she says. There's no emotion to the tone and Aaron knows that she's found her center to deal with it. Or she knows, sees and understands that there is worse. There's been worse. "We both know this is going to bring up memories we all thought were buried away and, really, I just don't want to deal with constant phone calls all day under the pretense of a case just to check on me. From any of you."
Yeah, he was going to do it too. But that's because she's Emily and he has a claim now. A claim. It makes him feel good.
"We both know I can't drive myself in, but I owe it to them to show them that this is nothing like Doyle. To prove it." There's a pause. "And I haven't seen Penelope since we landed."
Oh. That's going to be a problem. He knows what the tech is like when she's got the bit between her teeth and he's not sure that's something he's really ready to handle today. He's still riding a high on Emily's agreement to a twenty-four day grace period, so his brain's a little fuzzier than it should be.
"We both know it's the best solution to everything."
It is, damn her. She's had this prepared. "I'll be by in fifteen minutes."
. . . . .
The start the day, as they do most others, in the conference room and Aaron is both surprised and a little peeved when he feels the tension level in the room drop as Emily steps in. Okay, sure, they watched Reid pretty closely after Henkle. And they definitely kept a closer eye on Dave a couple of weeks ago when he returned after Carolyn's suicide. Aaron himself lived under a hell of a microscope during the days of Foyet, but this is just ridiculous. And it's breaking into their ability to do their jobs.
But then there's a squeal and an 'oomph' and Aaron finds himself catching Emily as Garcia's hug propels her backwards. The blond has enough sense to offer an embarrassed smile.
"Sorry Hotch."
He rights Emily and the look she shoots him all but screams 'I told you so'. He rolls his own in response. No reason to encourage her. He still doesn't like the fact that she's managed to essentially guilt trip him into bringing her. Doesn't she know it's damn difficult to say no to her when she's not injured?
"Now that we've assured ourselves Emily's okay," he begins, even as he pulls out Emily's chair. No chances, that's his new motto. Not with her. "Can we get down to business?"
It's an interesting morning briefing.
Dave is okay. Not a shock since the man had figured out Emily was alive before she set foot back in DC. He's also sitting beside her, so his awareness is more fixed. Derek glances over every once in a while. Guilt makes him do it, because Aaron made sure he and Emily talked by forcing Derek to drive her back to the hotel. Reid and JJ are a little more vulnerable about the whole thing.
Reid glances her way every couple of seconds, like she's going to up and disappear again. Like this could have killed her. Aaron's not immune to thoughts like those, but he's been shoving them down into a heavy chest never to be opened again. She's here, he has to keep telling himself, and in one, if damaged, piece. Reid hasn't hit that point yet. He can't say that to himself and make himself believe it. Emily knows this. Aaron can tell by the way she keeps shifting in her chair, as if she can't find a comfortable decision.
JJ is a little more subtle about it. Then again, she's a little more subtle as a default setting. She still glances at Emily, but she doesn't jump like Reid every time Emily pitches in. It's their usual brainstorm session around the cases on their desks, so they all take the time to pick things apart. And Aaron notices that every time JJ speaks Emily face is the last one she rests on.
"Before we go," Emily says just as they're all moving to stand. Her voice is strong and sure, so he doesn't feel indignation at the authority in her tone. "I'm fine. I'm on painkillers so I don't feel it, I'm still wearing the sling so it stays immobile, but there's no infection and I'm keeping the wound clean. In six weeks, I'll be back full duty."
The tension drops another degree, but Aaron notices the way Penelope, JJ and Emily linger. Oh God. A pow-wow. He escapes, sharing a look and a smirk with Dave as he does. Sure, he wants to keep a very close eye on Emily, but he knows better than to get in the middle of girl talk.
Plus, he's got consults to do anyway.
. . . . .
"You're really okay?"
JJ's the one to come out and say it as Penelope settles in her chair again. She's been up and down over the course of the meeting, throwing up pictures and stats that contribute to all of the cases. Emily offers them both a wide smile.
"Totally fine. Honestly. The doctor said it'll heal without problem if I can keep it clean and immobile. I'll have to do some rehab for the shoulder, but it's nothing any of us haven't faced before."
Routine job accident. Not life-threatening injury. She has to make them see this.
Penelope's chuckle is more awkward than amused. "You need to stop jumping in front of pointy objects."
Emily's laugh is more joyful. How can she not be? She woke up with the warmth of knowledge in her chest and now she's here with her best friends, in the office space that doubles as a home. She feels better than she has since the whole Doyle fiasco started ten months ago or so. She feels like she isn't letting the UNSUBs win, like she knows where she fits again.
And where she's going to fit.
Twenty-four days.
She's going to take all twenty-four too. There's a seven-year-old involved and as much as Emily may want the kid's father, she doesn't want to risk damaging Jack because she's not careful, not mostly sure. She's got an appointment on Monday with Garrett to sort everything out. Ish. Really it's the post-injury mental evaluation she'd like to get out of the way. She'll have to do another one before she comes back but-
"You live in a happy little fantasy world there, Wonder Woman."
Emily smiles, because Penelope's only teasing, but there's a note of curiosity in the tech's voice and painted all over JJ's face that she can't help but give in to.
"Hotch threw down the gauntlet last night."
JJ leans forward in her chair as Penelope's jaw drops. "Really?"
Emily nods, can't help the happy smile from blossoming over her face. She's had a good week, despite the stab wound. She's been the one to remind them Doyle's dead. Nightmares around her two stabbings in the last year have yet to surface, and Hotch has declared his intentions. Plus, she got to play with Jack last night.
Penelope collects herself with a snort of amusement. "About time," she says. "You've been back almost a year."
But all three of them remember their outing only a couple of weeks ago where Emily admitted she wasn't sure she'd ever be ready for a relationship with the Unit Chief. They all exchange a look over it, about the fact they won't talk about how careful Emily has to be. It's only Day One - or is it Day Two? – and there are plenty of days to go before Happily Ever After becomes any sort of reality.
But then JJ speaks, quietly. "I don't think he's going to let you go."
It is, Emily realizes as her heart lifts, exactly what she needs to hear. She knows Hotch, well. She knows he doesn't back down and unlike the will-they-won't-they secret crush, they're both intensely aware that it's just a matter of time. It's about putting Emily back together again and Emily knows the only reason he's said anything is because he thinks she's ready to hear it.
It does help. The knowledge that he's going to fight when she pulls away is solid in her head. But she's also not sure it's enough. She's out of her seat before JJ, Penelope, even Emily herself knows what's happening. She knocks tentatively on Hotch's door, waiting for the 'enter' before she pushes it open.
"Everything okay?" Worry first. Glance to her arm.
"Fine," she says shortly. She needs to get this out before she forgets or chickens out. Because suddenly, it's all there in front of her, and it is more than a little bit terrifying. She could lose her heart in this, and she knows all-too-well that getting it back is a fight in itself. She closes the door and he sits up straighter.
"You gave me twenty-four days," she says, knowing they're in the office and she has to be very careful of how she words her request.
"I did," he replies just as wary.
She steps forward, towards his desk, her eyes fixed on him. She stops when her thighs brush the edge. "Aaron," she says quietly. "I need you to promise me something then."
She sees the 'anything' on the tip of his tongue, but he's not an overeager child. "I'm listening."
"Promise you'll fight me."
He arches an eyebrow, but there's a spark in his eyes, one of dominance and assured aggressiveness.
"If I pull away, if I try and find a way out, to save you and Jack, you fight me." She needs to know that he'll keep pushing because she knows herself and the minute she feels like she's shattering she's going to yank herself away.
And if there's anyone in the world that can make her break, right now, it's Hotch.
"I waited six months for you to come back to DC," he points out, lowering his voice and leaning towards her. "Four more before you admitted yourself that Doyle was dead, that he couldn't hurt us."
Us means the team, but she gets it.
"Ten months, Emily," he points out. "Do you think I'm going to just let you walk away?"
It's exactly what she needs to hear, exactly what she wants to hear. She smiles and leans in. They're a breath apart and Emily's kind of glad his blinds are closed. "Say it."
She likes this level of teasing. It's popped up almost out of nowhere, but she likes the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, the tingle of awareness over her skin. She's drawn to him, wants to crawl over the damn desk but her injured shoulder and the knowledge that they're in the office for Pete's sake stops her. Just barely.
"I will fight you."
There's enough steel under his words to make her shiver pleasantly. She smiles, but he's not done.
"Every step, every time you try to pull away."
God, she'd known this, known he'd be intense, determined, but how the hell was she supposed to anticipate her own reaction?
She's grinning now. "Good."
This is still so weird to write. The end there especially because I'm dealing with a relationship where the feelings are known, the intent is clear, so I have to play it differently. It's a real challenge, which is actually kind of spectacular. Writing Hotch like this feels so twisted.
Super thanks to the eight of you who left a review! I appreciate the continued words of encouragement and it's always fun to see the way different people think and where their minds go from what information they already have.
On that note, and I do this every year because I always get awesome answers, I want to know what some of your holiday traditions are. They don't have to be Christmas ones, just something you do around this time of year. I know there's a bunch of different celebrations throughout December and January and I love hearing how different people celebrate. So leave me a review (or a PM) because inevitably one or two of them show up in the fic. My favourite traditions I've written in the last four Christmas fics came from exactly that.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last one!