Ironic

The informant ran as fast as he could, feeling the cold air burning his lungs. But he didn't stop – couldn't. His heart felt as thought it was about to shatter; turn into dust as the wind blew it away from him before he had the chance to gather them back.

It was just a letter – just one letter which was slightly soaked. But the words written inside made him desperate; made his eyes widen in surprise and shock, turned him into someone he knew he never was; made him run towards the last destination he knew that man would be at. Izaya could feel the blood pounding in his head, feel each heavy beat of his heart and his breath that echoed endlessly in his ear.

Please let me make it on time...please let me make it on time...

He chanted those words over and over again, ignoring the looks people threw towards him as he bumped into their shoulder. Even when he felt the muscles pull painfully in his legs, he continued to run, never wanting to regret any more moments in his life again. Maybe it was fear he felt that made his hands turned sweaty as he grip tightly onto the letter.

If it was, he couldn't tell so because of the thoughts which overwhelmed and clouded his calmness – fogged his ability to think clearly.

As soon as he reached the building, he grabbed hold of the handle before dashing up the stairs. He couldn't slow down nor allow himself to do so. He could only allow himself to increase his speed, hoping that he wasn't too late; silently wishing that everything would just return to the good old days.

Reaching the top of the building, low grumble from the grey clouds above could be heard as Izaya heaved a sigh of relief when he saw the blonde. He took slow steps as he approached the blonde, and when he was closer, he saw something which made his heart stop as something broke within him.

"No..." He whispered, walking faster as he approached the blonde.

"No...no, no, no, no." Izaya stopped in front of the blonde, shaking his head as his breath hitched. He could feel his legs shake as he gripped even tighter onto the letter. Something cold and wet could be felt on his cheeks, before more began to fall; The rain had stared.

"Shizu-chan..." He murmured, kneeling down beside the blonde. Izaya brushed aside the golden bangs which hid the blonde's eye. At the edge of his eyes, Izaya could see the crimson liquid that began to dilute away with the cold rain drops, watched as they slowly made their way through the creaks of the floor. The informant stared at the blonde for quite a moment before he took off his jacket and covered Shizuo's body – almost as if trying to keep the blonde warm.

"Shizu-chan, what are you doing down here? It's raining. You'll catch a cold if you continue to linger." Izaya spoke calmly to the blonde, eyes fixed to his knife stained with red, lying beside Shizuo. He was too late and knows this better than anyone, but couldn't help but to continue speaking.

"Look, even the rain drops look like tears on your face. Shouldn't you feel embarrassed that you're crying before the one you hate so badly?" Izaya looked at the peaceful features on the blonde's face, silently cursing himself for being so ignorant – for not noticing this earlier. "Ha...I guess you just don't want to answer me, hmm?"

Izaya lifted his hand which held the letter, pulling it out as he opened the piece of paper inside.

"Let me ask you a question." The informant looked up from the paper, doing his best to keep his voice in the usual tone. But he couldn't, he knew his voice would creak at certain point, so all he could do was to keep his voice nonchalant – emotionless.

"Why did you apologize? I don't think I've met anyone who would apologize for loving someone..." the water which rolled down his cheeks made him feel more comfortable. Not because it could hide his tears, but it made him feel as though he was crying despite knowing that the tears wouldn't fall.

"Hey...answer me." Izaya asked in a cold voice, almost as if he was angry and desperate. "Tell me why did you choose to write it down, why not tell me face to face? Explain to me why you kept trying to hide everything inside your mind – heart? Aren't you just being selfish?"

"'It's too late and I know that I should keep this to myself till I'm gone. But I can't. I'm sorry, but I love you', you wrote..." Izaya's voice creaked, "Don't you think you should have kept it to yourself? Brought those words to your grave?"

"You're cruel, Shizu-chan. So very cruel to do this to me...why couldn't you think about how I would feel?" His voice shook as he yelled. Maybe this was the blonde's way to torture him, to torment him. Or maybe he was just over thinking.

"Do you know something? Something I always believed I would never tell you?" Izaya brought the blonde's body closer to his body before embracing it. "It's something so cruel, twisted; an ugly side of myself." He whispered into the blonde's ear, silently waiting for a reply he knows he would never get.

"To say that I loved you too. Ironic isn't it? Monster are something – someone – no one can love, but I do. Ah, no. It isn't the same love as I have for humans. It's just cold and lingering." Pushing the blonde's body away from him, he looked at the face once more before he planted a kiss on those cold lips.

"And do you know what else is ironic? It's still cold and lingering." Izaya whispers softly, hugging the body once more, silently wishing that it would regain the heat it once had.

A/N:

I'm a sucker for angst/tragedy...*cough* Though that's not the point. Once again, this is not the end (despite Shizuo's death). The next update should most probably mark the end...Till the next chapter! :D